Many guys come on strong sexually and seem to be thinking below the belt.
Sometimes it’s because they’re a player, but sometimes it’s because they’re just plain super horny.
Here’s how to tell if he hasn’t had sex in a long time or if he’s just exaggerating his plight to get in your panties.
Top 20 signs he hasn’t had sex in a while
1) He gets short on breath when he sees some skin
One of the top signs he hasn’t had sex in a while is that he gets short on breath or breathes heavily when you show some skin.
Even if it’s just the strap of your dress slipping slightly while you’re at dinner, this guy’s eyes turn into saucers and he breathes like a dog.
Breathing is both automatic and intentional, but one of the first things that happens when a man or woman experiences strong sexual attraction is that their veins flood with blood and their breath gets stuck in their throat.
That’s also why you’ll notice that someone who is very turned on often has a hoarse voice.
2) He gets visibly hard every time he touches or kisses you
You kiss him and feel Mount Everest form up in his pants.
You touch his shoulder for a second and he awkwardly shields his private parts like he’s trying to protect you from a runaway T-Rex.
Come on, guy: we all know you have a raging boner!
Now, he might just be a guy who gets hard easily and had sex last night, right?
Well, it’s possible. But if he’s getting strong hard-ons for almost no reason whenever he’s around you it’s much more likely that he hasn’t had sex in at least a few weeks.
Call the horny police: we have a confirmed case of a guy who’s horny on Main.
3) He’s jumping at every chance to be your hero
Men have deep biological drives that motivate them.
These drives aren’t their choice, just like attraction is not a choice.
They come from hundreds of thousands of years of evolution and they rule everything around him.
If he’s jumping to be there for you and be your hero, it could be because he hasn’t found the kind of women he wants to really commit to and sleep with on a regular basis.
It’s all part of a growing field of research…
There’s a new theory in the relationship world that’s causing quite a stir – it’s called the hero instinct.
Coined by relationship expert James Bauer, this fascinating concept finally explains how men really think and feel in relationships.
And it’s something most women have never even heard of.
According to James Bauer, men don’t actually need a lot to feel content in their relationships. To most people’s surprise, it has nothing to do with sex.
You see, men have innate drivers. These are natural responses that they’re not even aware of. But when a woman comes along and triggers them, it causes a powerful response.
The result is a man who loves harder, commits wholeheartedly, and truly dedicates himself to the relationship.
So, how can you trigger your man’s hero instinct?
Well, you certainly don’t need to act like a damsel in distress or buy him a cape. It’s quite simple, actually.
All you have to do is give your man certain signals that make him feel needed in the relationship. These allow him to step to the plate and feel fulfilled in his role as your partner.
And these signals are revealed in this simple and genuine video by James Bauer.
The truth is, once you understand how the hero instinct works, there’s no telling what heights your relationship can reach.
So if you want to give your man what he truly wants from you, make sure to check out James Bauer’s excellent video. In it, he reveals the exact texts and phrases you can use straight away.
4) He becomes a raging baboon in bed
If you have moved things to the next level and had sex with him, there’s a lot more you can tell from his behavior there.
If he hasn’t had sex in a few weeks or months, you’ll feel an urgency in his movements and lovemaking.
He’ll take your clothes off with shaking hands and kiss you like he’s eating for the first time in a year.
His breath will be hot on your neck and he’ll run his fingers over your body like you’re the most beautiful woman he’s ever met (maybe you are!)
Some guys are better lovers than others, sure, but if he becomes a raging baboon in bed there’s a very good chance it’s because he hasn’t been to pleasure town in quite awhile.
5) He becomes genuinely turned on by sexy movie scenes
There are a lot of sexy movie scenes out there buried in every second thing we watch.
But for most of us they’re just one part of the unfolding plot.
After all, if you want pure skin you can get to a search engine and find some porn.
But a guy who hasn’t had sex in a long time will salivate over movie sex scenes like he’s seing a real-life miracle.
His eyes will bug out and his breathing will catch as he adjusts his pants.
There you have it…
Like Claire Hannum writes from the female perspective:
“When watching Magic Mike with your girlfriends, you get a little too into it and awkwardly cheer louder than anyone else during the dance scenes.”
Yes, you can be sure of one thing: this guy needs to get laid.
6) He can’t stop making earnest, sizzling eye contact
Eye contact can be the start of some really sizzling romance, but it can also be a sign of more sexual things.
One of the most important signs he hasn’t had sex in a while is that he makes and holds eye contact.
He’s not afraid to look deep into you and if you look long enough you’ll feel his desire burn through you.
It’s like his eyes are putting out some kind of horny energy and sending you an SOS signal.
Except instead of Save Our Souls, his eyes are sending the signal Save Our Sex!
He wants you, that’s for sure.
And he probably wouldn’t be so on fire if he’d just had sex two nights ago…
7) He’s ready to go at a moment’s notice
One of the most surefire signs he hasn’t had sex in a while is that he’s ready to go at a moment’s notice.
He jumps into bed like he’s a sprinter at the Olympics and probably finishes the race just as fast as Usain Bolt…
The mere idea of sex gets him jumping up and down like a maniac.
Maybe he’s just sex-hungry in general and he’s getting sex a lot.
But in most cases it’s not so complicated: it’s exactly what it looks like.
He’s on fire to have more sex because he hasn’t had it in a long time.
It’s the opposite for a guy who’s having a lot of sex. It more or less bores him and he’s pretty slow about taking you up on the offer.
“If he’s always coming up with one excuse or the other day after day, something isn’t right,” explains dating writer April Maccario.
8) His internet search history is a porn minefield
If you get a look at this guy’s phone or internet and see that his history is full of porn searches and sites, you’re probably not dealing with a sex wizard.
There’s a common misconception about people who watch a lot of porn:
They’re just like anyone else and it doesn’t relate to their sex life as a whole.
But usually? Not true at all…
Most people who consume a lot of porn on a daily basis aren’t having a lot of sex.
It really isn’t that complicated.
If you were having a lot of sex you wouldn’t be opening twenty tabs to find that perfect clip from Oiled Up Asses Volume 7.
If that’s his search history he’s probably having a bit of a dry spell to say the least.
9) He’s stressed and seems overly irritable
Not having sex for too long puts most people on edge. It makes them annoying and irritable.
Now, I’m not saying we should all live in a giant pleasure palace of 24/7 lovemaking (actually, is that an option?) but…
If you want to know if a guy has been getting some recently, pay attention to his body language and level of relaxation.
Sex is an endorphin jackpot, which is why it can be so addictive.
Is he walking like a 90-year-old man all cramped up and locked up (no offense to 90-year-old men whatsoever, not all of them walk like this by any means).
But the point is:
Observe how he is: is he snapping at you, walking all locked up and looking uncomfortable and annoyed all the time?
That’s not the behavior of someone who’s having regular sex, at least not good sex…
10) His relationship history is patchy and not long-term
People who aren’t in a long-term relationship generally have a bigger chance to sleep around.
Fact check: true.
But here’s the thing…
Sleeping “around” doesn’t mean getting more sex. It just likely means sex with a larger number of partners.
If this guy hasn’t had something serious for a long time, there’s a much greater chance that he’s gone without sex for a considerable amount of time.
People in relationships and marriages don’t always have a lot of sex, that’s true.
But they generally have more sex than single guys who are scoring every few weeks and now and then on Tinder.
Keep that in mind…
11) His gaze seems glued to your posterior and your chest
Women often complain to me about guys who can’t seem to make eye contact because they’re too busy eyeing their…assets.
And I get the frustration.
Control yourself, men!
A guy who’s very horny and hasn’t had sex in a long time tends to be laser-focused on a woman’s breasts and ass.
He might even be in the middle of respectfully talking and then just blatantly look down at her cleavage or to see if her nipples are hard.
Smooth move, guy.
Is this a man who’s been having a lot of sex recently? Highly doubtful…
“You’ve caught him checking out your ass one too many times.”
12) He’s very touchy feely and his touch kind of ‘burns’
One of the sure signs he hasn’t had sex in a while is that he touches you with a kind of intensity that’s missing in other guys.
And his touch has a certain heat to it.
Of course, this could depend on whether or not you find him attractive.
But my point is that a guy who’s very turned on and hasn’t been with anyone in quite awhile will often have a physically hot touch in the temperature sense.
That’s because his circulation is more sped up and turned on around you.
So the blood flows to his extremities (yes, all his extremities) and leads to a hotter touch (literally).
Science is fun, right…
13) He’s all nerves like a jumpy schoolboy
Some men are smoother than others around women.
But one of the common characteristics of a guy who’s been without sex for quite a period is that he tends to be fairly nervous and jumpy.
When a guy is turned on and horny from not having sex in a long time, he often becomes a nervous wreck.
He may stutter, stumble physically while walking, bump into things or become mentally “spaced out” when talking to you.
This jumpy, spacy behavior isn’t the way a guy acts who’s relaxed and having sex a lot.
It’s how a guy acts who’s desperately horny and hasn’t been with a woman in quite a long time.
14) His face lights up into a blush at the slightest touch
On the flip side of the touch equation, there’s what happens when you touch him.
If he’s attracted to you and wants to sleep with you, he’s obviously going to enjoy your touch.
But watch his face, too.
A guy who hasn’t been with a woman in a while won’t be able to hide his physiological reaction.
This will often manifest in heavy breathing and blushing.
If he gets flushed or starts getting sweaty and fidgeting from a light touch from you then he’s probably sex starved.
15) Your words light him on fire
One of the strongest signs he hasn’t had sex in a while is that he reacts to your words and seduction very strongly.
Whether it’s over a call, by text or in person, what you say makes him light up like a bonfire.
That’s because you’re making him feel needed and sexy, like a man…
I mentioned this fascinating concept earlier: the hero instinct. When a man’s inner hero is triggered, he’s more likely to get sexually aroused…
Just by knowing the right things to say to him, you’ll open a part of him that no woman has ever reached before.
And the easiest way to do so is by watching this free video by James Bauer. In it, he’ll reveal simple phrases and texts you can use to make your man truly yours.
16) He hints to you that he’s had a long dry spell
Short of outright just telling you he hasn’t had sex in a long time (which can be kind of an awkward thing to be telling someone)…
One of the biggest signs he hasn’t had sex in a while is that he hints at it.
If the subject of sex or attraction comes up, he rolls his eyes or winks and says something like…
“Well, I remember what that’s like touching a woman, those were the days…”
Things like this are obvious jokes with a giant grain of truth.
He’s telling you that he hasn’t had sex in awhile, or at least trying to make that claim.
Is it true or not? Pay attention to the rest of his other behavior.
17) He acts the fool in front of you in insane ways
When men are interested in a girl they often do class clown type things that seem really bizarre or foolhardy.
When men are sexually turned on by a girl they sometimes take it to the next level.
Men have literally died trying to do stunts or show off to women they want to sleep with.
There are two options if a guy is acting insane to impress you:
- He’s extremely turned on by you in a way that’s rare for him even though he had sex an hour ago with someone else
- He hasn’t had sex in a long time and you’re pushing all his buttons and bringing out his inner stuntman
“One thing that I’ve learned over the years is that men have a tendency of doing stupid things in hopes of impressing women.
This is particularly true when they get aroused.”
18) He’s a horndog who seems to be obsessed with sex
As I said at the start of this article, some guys are just sex obsessed and that’s the way it is.
But generally, if they’re having high quality sex on a fairly steady basis, most men can let the issue rest now and then…
That’s why if the guy you’re meeting is a horndog who seems to be obsessed with sex 24/7 there’s a good chance it’s because he hasn’t gotten much of it lately.
One exception is a man who went years without having much sex and is now having more.
He may be “making up” for the lost years by being a sex machine now.
19) He gets hard soon again after you’ve just had sex
On the bedroom side of things, one of the most reliable signs he hasn’t had sex in a while is that he gets hard again quite soon after climaxing.
This is obviously related to other things too…
Younger guys and guys with a higher sex drive are generally those who have a faster recharging time in bed…
But at the same time, a guy who hasn’t had sex in a long time will recover from sex as if he barely even just had it.
You’ll feel like he could go forever.
And he’ll probably feel like he can, too.
20) He can’t get enough sex even when you’re already exhausted
We all have different stamina levels in bed.
But generally speaking, even high-testosterone men have their limit.
That limit tends to increase when sex hasn’t been in the cards for a long time.
I’m talking two, three, even four times per day…
And maybe once at night.
“Sometimes you feel like an entire night isn’t enough; you need a lot more of that canoodling! I was so attracted to this guy that we had sleepovers for 15 nights in a month and when we didn’t it felt like it wasn’t enough.”
Make sure to drink plenty of fluids!
Let’s get it on…(maybe?)
The search for true love and intimacy is a winding path, but it’s fully possible to find what you’re looking for if you go about it the right way.
If you’re wondering about having sex with a guy, remember that sex isn’t the only thing that matters in a relationship and that it won’t replace missing communication or intimacy in other areas.
Nonetheless, if you’ve come across a guy who’s displaying all the signs above and then some, you can be confident he hasn’t been active in the sack for some time.
It could be his – and hopefully your – lucky night!
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.