Is there a man in your life who you think might be falling for you, but you’re just not sure?
Maybe you’ve been on a few dates and some of the early signs he’s falling for you are there, but you’re still left questioning whether it’s love or not.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve sat with my girlfriends discussing this very topic – and how many signs and theories we came up with to work out just how he feels.
But what we didn’t realize was that our overthinking and analyzing didn’t need to be so difficult. We simply had to look at the things he says, how he behaves and how he makes us feel.
So if you’re facing the same issue, know that you’re certainly not alone.
To help you better understand him, we’ll first look at whether he’s just in it for the physical relationship or if he’s genuinely falling in love, and then we’ll get to the important early signs he’s falling for you.
How can you tell the difference between lust and early signs he’s falling for you?
As we all know, truly understanding how a guy feels isn’t the easiest thing in the world.
Even when they’re expressive and tell us how they feel, sometimes their actions don’t match their words or we get the sense that they’re just saying what we want to hear.
And when that happens, it can make you question whether he’s genuine or not.
The thing that makes it even more confusing?
Lust is purely about physical attraction, but falling in love still encompasses lust, it just occurs alongside the emotional relationship you form but this can make it hard to distinguish between the two.
It’s happened to me before when guys I’ve dated gave me some of the early signs that they’re starting to fall for me, but it turned out that they just wanted one thing – sex.
And they knew all the right things to say to make me think they were in it for more than just the physical pleasures.
It took a while for me to learn who to invest my time and emotions into wisely, and like many, I had to learn the hard way.
But I got there eventually and stopped wasting time with guys who were playing games or just acting the part.
By paying more attention to the subtle differences – body language, tone of voice, consistency with words and actions, and so on.
Eventually, I started being able to weed out the ones who were simply leading me on, and the ones who were genuinely falling for me.
So what’s the trick to being able to spot the difference between lust and early signs that he’s falling in love with you?
Here are some of the pointers I’ve learned along the way:
- Consistency – this is where his words/actions remain the same from the moment you met each other to where you are now in your friendship/relationship. Guys who aren’t genuinely falling for you won’t always stick to their word or their behavior will fluctuate.
- Body language – being physical and intimate can be a sign that he’s starting to fall for you, but it can also be a sign of lust. Is there a balance? If he’s all over you too quickly or too much, he might be in it just for physical intimacy.
- The tone of voice – this can be harder to work out, but many people’s voices waver when they’re being deceptive. They might also say things in the moment, and then backtrack later on when they’ve changed their mind.
- Not being afraid to let the world know – even though you still don’t know fully how he feels, if he keeps everything totally under wraps and doesn’t want anyone to know about you guys, it’s a sign he’s got an ulterior motive.
So, even if you’re caught up in the early stages of love too, it can never hurt to remember these tips and keep your wits about you.
It’s a sad reality that some people will use emotions to get what they want, but armed with these warning signs you can learn to spot who’s being fake and who is genuinely falling for you.
Now, without further ado let’s get to the early signs that he’s head over heels for you:
26 early signs he’s falling for you
1) He’s always first to message or call
If he’s always the first one to get in touch, it means that he genuinely wants to talk to you and he’s not into game playing or playing hard to get.
So, whether you’re in the very beginning stages of your relationship, or you’re just friends with benefits, an early sign he’s falling for you is when he just can’t get enough of talking to you.
This is also the case if he texts you first thing in the morning and last thing at night – you’re most certainly on his mind by this point.
2) The way he looks at you
So much can be said with a look.
Whether it’s intense, passionate eye contact that conveys silent messages of love and affection, or the way a smile forms on his lips when you say something silly.
All of these are indicators that he’s starting to fall for you which he can’t hide because his facial expression will naturally give him away. And sometimes the way he looks at you can show that he’s not attracted to you.
3) And the way he ignores other women
And another major way to tell he’s in the early stages of love is when he’s completely oblivious to other women.
Even if the hottest girl in town walks by, if his eyes are on you, you can be sure he’s beginning to fall in love with you.
What’s more, his Instagram isn’t lighting up every five minutes with messages from other girls because he’s only got time for you now.
4) He comes across as nervous sometimes
Sweaty hands and flushed cheeks are just some of the things your man might experience when he starts falling for you.
Nerves are natural, and just as you might get butterflies, so will he.
It’s all down to the chemicals that are released when we start to fall for someone – adrenaline and norepinephrine.
And, if there are signs that he’s nervous around you, this could explain why you’re left wondering how he feels – because he’s too shy to tell you.
5) He wants to share his passions with you
Another clear early sign that he’s falling for you is if he wants to share his life with you.
This isn’t just a big sign because it shows he wants to spend time together, but because he’s opening his world to you and inviting you into it.
Especially if he shares things he’s passionate about or hobbies that he normally does alone.
The truth is, if he’s inviting you along it’s because he wants to be around you (whereas a guy faking it won’t be bothered about it).
6) Your dreams are important to him
But it’s not just about sharing his passions with you, if he’s beginning to fall in love with you, he’ll also want to know yours.
Everything from your goals and dreams to your doubts and fears, all help him understand you and strengthen the connection you share.
So if you both have plenty of pillow talk or late-night conversations, exploring deep into each other’s minds and pasts, be sure that he’s falling for you.
7) What would Sigmund Freud say?
Let’s be real: sometimes it’s hard to tell whether a guy is falling for you or is playing games.
So why not enlist the help of the most famous psychologist of all, Sigmund Freud?
Yes, the grandmaster at understanding sex and attraction can give you a personal love diagnosis.
I recently came across this extraordinarily fun quiz based on Freud’s most famous theories.
Simply answer a few personal questions and let Freud himself dig deep down into your man’s subconscious to reveal what’s really motivating him in your relationship.
I know that might sound a bit…clinical, and you’re not here to get a psychology lesson. But before you get spooked let me be clear:
Taking this quiz was the most fun I’ve had on the internet in years!
8) He’s keen for you to meet his family
Ah, the dreaded first family meeting.
Whether you’re great with in-laws or you’re like me and turn into a nervous wreck, one way or another this is a great sign that he’s falling for you.
Meeting his family means he takes you seriously, and he wants to know what his family thinks of you too.
For a guy in the early stages of falling in love, having his family love you as well will be a great comfort and reassurance for him.
9) Your opinion matters to him
And just as his family’s opinions are important to him, if he’s starting to fall in love with you then your opinion will quickly rise to importance too.
Signs of this include:
- Asking for your advice on a problem
- Wanting your opinion on something personal
- Paying close attention when you talk about things
- Remembering what you say and acting upon it
And it’s the last point that will reveal how much he cares about your opinion.
It’s one thing to listen to what someone has to say, but another to physically take on board their advice and act upon it.
10) His friends know about you
Talking to his friends about you is another sure-fire way of knowing he’s in the early stages of love.
When my partner first thought that our relationship could develop into more, the first thing he did was talk about me to his friends.
He told them everything he couldn’t say to me because he was hesitant and nervous – so keep an eye out if he ever mentions his friends knowing about you or wanting to meet you.
After all, when women start falling for someone we naturally turn to our friends process our emotions, and most men do the same.
11) He tries to help you in any way he can
When a man starts falling in love, his biological need to help you will kick in. He can’t help it, it’s an instinct that comes into force whenever a man cares for someone.
And there’s a name for this:
The hero instinct.
The concept was created by James Bauer and as he explains his book, His Secret Obsession, it explains a biological drive that all men have in their lives:
- To be respected and appreciated
- To have meaning in his life
- To provide and protect the people he loves (in particular, his partner)
So if he’s starting to have feelings for you, some of these drives will be triggered and he’ll naturally want to help you in any way possible.
To learn more about the hero instinct, this excellent free video by James Bauer will explain everything, including how you can keep triggering this instinct.
12) You always have his full attention
Do you ever get the feeling that someone is only half listening to what you’re saying?
Or they lose interest before you’ve even finished your sentence?
Guys who only have a physical attraction tend to do this, especially if they’re focussed only on their end goal.
But a guy who’s starting to fall for you will hang on to every word you say.
Even if his favorite team is playing on TV or you’re walking through a crowded mall, his attention will never waver.
13) He uses “we” instead of “I”
This is one of my particular favorites – the moment he stops identifying as only “I” and starts including you in the mix.
It’s the ultimate sign that he wants to be more than just casual.
It shows that he’s comfortable seeing you as a couple, even if you’re not in a serious relationship just yet.
And, it also lets you know that he’s thinking of you and considering you instead of just thinking of himself.
14) He mentions the future
And if that continues into talks of the future, there’s not much left to question about whether he’s falling for you or not.
Why do I say this with such confidence?
Because a guy who is merely putting on an act wouldn’t give as much thought or planning into a future together.
He wants you right there and then, and he’s not interested in having a relationship with you.
But a guy in the early stages of love is already picturing what you’re going to be doing together, whether it’s next week or next year – all he cares about is that you’re together.
15) You make him laugh
Laughter is such an important part of any relationship, it brings people closer and releases endorphins that make us feel on top of the world.
And, when we find someone funny, it can make them seem more attractive and we naturally gravitate to them more than we would to others.
The same happens when you’re falling in love.
You can’t get enough of each other, and the jokes you share is a way to tease each other, have fun, and flirt – all things that create a bond of more than just friendship.
16) He has a nickname for you
A nickname is a great way for a guy to express his emotions, especially if it’s something cute or an inside joke that you share.
For some guys, it’s their way of showing affection or of trying to make you laugh.
Plus, a nickname is quite a personal thing to give someone, it hints that there’s more to your relationship and that he’s feeling comfortable and confident around you.
17) He makes time for you
Finding the time for relationships isn’t always easy in today’s busy world, and that’s why if you want to form a connection with someone, you have to make time.
And if he does that for you, well, there’s no bigger sign that he’s starting to fall for you more and more.
You see, no guy would bother doing that if he wasn’t falling in love.
He’d only have time for you when he’s free, and it’s convenient…or only when he’s bored.
So, you’ll quickly be able to see how much your guy is into you just by how much he frees up time to be with you.
18) He tries to spoil you
Whether it sounds old-fashioned or not, if he wants to spoil you he’ll find his ways.
Even if he’s not into material gifts or the traditional way of spoiling a lady, he’ll make you feel special by paying attention to the things you love, even if it’s something simple like your favorite food.
It might not seem a lot to some, but it’s his way of showing that you mean a lot to him and he’s starting to develop strong feelings.
19) No detail passes his attention
And with that being said, another early sign that he’s falling for you is by how much attention he pays to the details of your life.
If he wasn’t falling for you, those little tidbits of information would go unnoticed, but because he’s hanging onto your every word he can’t help but soak it all in.
20) He digs all your quirks
That includes all your weird and wonderful quirks too.
Even the most strange or unusual habits are fascinating to him and quite simply, in his eyes, you can’t do much wrong.
When my partner was in the early stages of falling for me, even the fact that I was a complete pasta addict and a clean freak didn’t make him bat an eyelid.
He found it adorable (although three years on and it’s not so cute anymore, apparently).
But the bottom line is, he’ll only celebrate and accept these quirky parts of your personality if he’s truly falling in love with you and sees you as exceptional in all you do.
21) He’ll try new things to please you
Whether it’s getting him to sit through three hours of your favorite rom-com or making him go for a run together at 6 am, he’ll do it just to make you happy.
You see, when people start to fall in love, there’s excitement and exhilaration.
He feels like he can do anything, all hyped on happy hormones.
And with you, he can’t get enough of it.
Everything is a thrill, and even stuff he’d never consider doing before seems fun – it’s all down to his feelings that are starting to take over.
22) He’s there for the good and the bad
Another early sign that he’s falling for you is when he sticks around regardless of your mood or situation.
A guy who’s there to have fun will only bother when it’s a good time and he can take advantage of it.
But a guy who’s falling for you will want to be with you even on your bad days.
He’ll want to make you feel better when you’re sad and laugh alongside you when you’re happy.
23) You can sense it through his body language
The chances are, if your guy is falling for you, his body language will reveal it much quicker than his words will.
Here are some signs to look out for:
- There’s plenty of lingering eye contact
- He always wants to be close to you or sat next to you
- He finds ways to touch you, like holding your hand or putting his arm around you
- Sometimes he might seem flustered or shy
Of course, not every guy reveals their emotions in the same way, but there’ll be little hints in his body language that will show his increasing affection for you.
24) He opens up to you emotionally
Just as much as he might warm up to you physically, he may also open up emotionally and let you learn about his vulnerabilities.
This only happens when someone starts to trust you and feels comfortable sharing intimate details of themselves.
And that usually happens once those feelings of love start emerging.
He might even start to express his feelings for you in indirect ways, like by complimenting your personality or letting you know how much he enjoys hanging out together.
25) He always wants to make you feel comfortable
Another tell-tale early sign that he’s falling for you is when he does his utmost to make you feel relaxed and comfortable around him.
If he’s falling for you, there’s a good chance he’s hoping you’re doing the same, so he needs to make you feel good whenever you’re together.
26) He wants to protect you
Going back to the hero instinct, if your man truly is in the early stages of love, he’ll feel a great desire to protect you.
This isn’t a macho display of power or muscles, it’s about looking after the people he loves and cares about.
And the great news for you?
Since he now sees you as someone valuable in his life, this innate drive in him will push the need to look out for you at all times, no matter how big or small the threat is.
He’ll have your back, but he’ll expect the same in return.
To learn more about the best kept secret in relationship psychology, watch this excellent free video.
What if you’re falling for him too?
Hopefully, by now you’re able to tell whether he’s starting to fall for you and whether he’s genuine or just lusting after the goodies.
But there’s another important issue to address:
Are you falling for him too?
- Feel excited and sometimes nervous around him
- Always want to be near him or talk to him
- Smile every time you receive a message from him
- Imagine a future together
- Only have eyes for him
You’ve probably experienced many of those signs above too because a lot of them work both ways.
So, now you know how he feels, there’s nothing holding you back from fully falling in love with each other and embracing the experience to the max.
But if you don’t feel the same way as him?
Then the kindest thing would be to let him go and quit stringing him along.
Even if you don’t feel the same as him, you might be keeping him around simply because you enjoy the attention and affection.
But if he’s truly falling for you and you want nothing more, you will end up breaking his heart and potentially making him more cautious of love in the future.
The final thing to take away from this article, which is a lesson I learned over the years, is to trust your gut instinct but also to be aware of the signs.
Because people, no matter how clever or deceptive they might be, can’t help but reveal their true feelings or intentions, and the same applies when it comes to love.
So, instead of wasting hours and hours over-analyzing everything he says and does, just like I used to, use these signs to work out how he truly feels and save yourself the time and emotion.
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