When it comes to making the first move, men can be awfully confusing.
Sometimes, they can even go to great lengths to ask a girl out on a date without actually asking the real question. (And they tell us that we, women, are the only passive-aggressive ones? Oh, please!)
So, if you’re left wondering if he’s trying to ask you out or just being too friendly, here’s a no-nonsense article to help you out.
10 surefire signs he’s asking you out indirectly
1) He’s often exploring common ground with you
When you tell him your favorite cuisine, does he talk about a great restaurant downtown that serves exactly the food you like?
Or when you share about your hobbies, does he tell you he likes them too or how much he’d love to try them out?
There you go!
He secretly wants to take you out on a date.
If he’s constantly in the search for common interests with you, even trying out new things so he can better relate to you, he surely is dying to ask you out.
He wants to keep the conversation going so he’s always trying to talk about things that you might be interested in.
2) He asks about your schedule and plans
If the guy you’re talking to often asks you about your weekend plans or your schedule for the week, he’s not doing this innocently.
No one is curious about other people’s time and plans if they don’t have something in mind anyway, right?
So, if he is showing interest in your plans and activities, this is a good sign that he is looking for a chance to be included in your schedule.
He might be up to something and is just trying to find the right time and place to ask you out.
A lot of guys do not like the feeling of rejection, so they really test the waters first before actually asking you out.
So if this guy knows your upcoming plans, then he can ask you out on a date at the time most convenient to you…
This means there’s a lower chance you’d say no.
Pretty crafty of them, yes?
3) He’s curious about your love life
Another obvious sign that a guy likes you and wants to ask you out is when he constantly asks about your love life.
He is romantically interested in you when he is super interested in your current relationship status.
He’s probably checking if you’re on or off the dating market.
He may even ask about your past relationships to know more about you and what kind of relationship you like.
There are thousands of sub-questions hidden in his words and narratives, so you need to look out for them.
If he is interested in you and wants to ask you out, he will also ask about the type of men you’re attracted to, seeing if he fits your description.
Some people might think that asking this type of question is just normal, but when he constantly asks you about this aspect, he is totally into you and wants to ask you out.
No one is overly interested in another person’s love life if they do not want to be part of it.
4) He asks you personal questions
Aside from asking about your love life, a guy who is interested in you will also ask you personal questions nonstop.
He wants to know your personality, quirks and dislikes.
He asks you about your family and circle of friends.
He thinks he’s being subtle but you’ll get a sense that he likes you through his questions.
He wants to get to know you better because he is also working out whether you are a good fit for each other.
In addition to asking you personal questions, you will also observe that the guy’s actions and body language are trying to tell you something — that he is interested in and wants to learn more about you.
He will look very attentive, always leaning forward and eager to hear facts about you.
You can see that he is really paying attention and seems to be taking mental notes whenever you talk about yourself.
5) He gets jealous when you talk to other guys
Do you sometimes catch the guy looking at you when you’re talking to another guy?
Do you see his side glances and squinting eyes?
These things mean something.
The answer is simply jealousy. If a guy gets jealous when you talk to other guys, he is definitely into you.
Jealousy is normal; it is a human emotion.
This guy values you a lot and worries that he’ll lose you even before anything starts, and that is why they feel jealous.
He may be good at hiding his jealousy and emotions, though.
So, if you want to know if he’s jealous, try to talk to a guy he thinks is a competition, and glance over at him.
If he can’t stop looking or *secretly* glancing in your direction multiple times a minute, then you surely have a hold over this guy.
He might even come forward and interrupt the conversation. When he does this to you, there is no question — he’s really into you and worries that the other guy might steal his chance and ask you out before he does.
6) His eyes never lie
Prolonged eye contact is definitely a sign that a guy is harboring feelings of affection for you.
No matter how hard he tries, his eyes cannot lie.
Have you ever accidentally made eye contact with him and he couldn’t seem to take his eyes off you?
Was he making some sort of absentminded, dreamy, and silly face when he looked at you?
He might not even realize that he’s having eye contact with you because his subconsciousness takes over and he becomes lost in your eyes.
Smitten by your appearance and personality, the way he looks into your eyes tells you something deeper — he wants to connect with you on a deeper level.
He might even be imagining the exact moment he’d ask you out when he looks into your eyes.
7) He feels nervous around you
Most people think that feeling nervous often only happens to women.
This is not true. Men get nervous, too!
When a guy likes you and hasn’t told you yet, he can’t help but feel and act nervous when you’re around.
Fast heartbeat, cold and sweaty hands, and immense focus all happen when one falls in love.
Why does it happen?
First, he’s probably thinking of how exactly he’s going to ask you out and he still hasn’t mustered the courage to do so.
Second, he’s likely afraid of the possible rejection that follows.
However, nervousness shows in different ways.
Some guys talk faster and seem excited when they are nervous, while some just tease you or crack weird jokes. Most guys try to act calm when nervous, but you can definitely see signs like fidgeting legs or hands.
So, if you’re feeling weird vibes when he is talking to you, he’s most probably torn about wanting to be near you and wanting to run away from you.
Really, he might just turn into a bundle of nerves when he’s trying to ask you out!
8) He flirts with you in a special way
A guy who likes you will obviously flirt with you, maybe a lot.
Most guys express their interest through words and actions, and this includes flirtatious behavior.
He can either tease you and annoy you to hell or be cheesy and romantic — it really depends on his personality.
If you’re up for the game, then you can flirt back, too.
Be fun and playful. Show him you’re up for the game.
Flirting is part of every relationship. So if you’re interested in him, too, just enjoy the chase.
A word of caution, though: Make sure he flirts only with you because if he does this to every other girl in the neighborhood, he might not be serious about you.
9) He jokes about dating you
Jokes are half-meant. So, if he has already joked twice about dating you, does it mean he fully meant it now?
Some people express their true feelings in the form of jokes, so you should be attentive and listen carefully to what the guy says.
Sarcasm is often used to cover up true intentions, maybe because he’s testing what your reaction would be when the time comes that he seriously asks you out.
If he gets a positive response, he might have the courage to really ask you out.
But when you ignore his joke and brush it off, he can just easily say that he’s joking and just teasing you.
This will be a lesson learned for him and may not ask you out in the future because he knows what your answer will be.
10) He makes you his priority
Does he come running when you share a problem with him?
Is he always there to listen to your rants and raves about life?
Does he consider you in the life decisions he makes?
If your answer is a solid YES, this guy is definitely into you.
When a guy likes you, you will always be part of his priority list.
You do not need to be on the top of the list, but merely being part of his priorities is something you should consider a win.
It’s a bigger win when you look at this from a perspective like,
“He hasn’t asked me out yet but I already feel like I’m a huge part of his life.”
He won’t make all these efforts if he isn’t into you, especially if you’re not close friends in the first place.
Maybe he wants to take it slow and is just waiting for the right timing to ask you out on your first date.
So, if you appreciate the things he’s doing for you, you can tell him so. It will be a huge nudge for him to finally ask you out in the most direct way possible.
Things you can do when a guy is being indirect about asking you out
1) Ask him what the real deal is
Reading between the lines and assuming things can be really frustrating.
So, probably the most effective thing to do when faced with this kind of situation is to directly ask the guy what he thinks of you and what his intentions are.
We know this is easier said than done. But getting a clear answer will most likely benefit both of you.
Clarifications will be made and there will be no misplaced feelings and flirtations when the question gets answered.
2) Just play along with him for now
However, if you are not ready for the answer, too, and just want to play the game and go with the flow, you can still consider his actions.
If you’re content with assuming things and enjoying your moments together, then there’s nothing wrong with just letting things be and going for ambiguity.
Most likely, the guy doesn’t want to directly ask you out because he is still mustering courage and strength.
If you’re also into him, you can do things that will encourage him to come forward and ask you out.
For example, you can flirt back or describe him when he asks you about your ideal man. Give him some idea that you’re also interested in him by getting to know him more and asking questions about him, too.
3) Observe the way he treats his friends
If you’re dying to know if he really wants to ask you out on a date but you don’t want to confront him, then you can secretly find out how he treats his friends.
The main question you need to know the answer to is this:
Does he treat you exactly the way he treats his friends or does he interact with you like you’re someone more special?
Knowing this will lessen your confusion as to whether he’s interested in you in a romantic way or just a friendly way.
4) Be the first to ask him out
Let’s get real — if you’re talking to this guy and you like him too, just be the one to make the first move.
It’s already the 21st century and nobody will judge you for asking a guy out.
If you’re reading the signs that he’s totally into you and the feelings are reciprocal, then you can choose to cut to the chase and woman up!
He might even like you more when you break stereotypes by going to him and asking him on a date before he does.
Is he asking you out indirectly?
If you’re tired of the uncertainty, sure, you can ask him out instead and see where things go. But, I have a better suggestion:
To guarantee your success, you have to trigger his hero instinct first.
In his free video, James Bauer elaborates on how men think and feel in relationships – something most women have never heard of. He explains what triggering a man’s innate drives really means and how to do it.
If you’re considering asking him out, why not give him what he wants first? Once his hero instinct is triggered, there’s no telling what heights your relationship will reach.