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Is there a guy in your life you can’t stop thinking about, but you have no idea how to tell him?
There are a million ways to confess your feelings for a guy you like, but only a few that will actually work.
I know how nerve-wracking it can be to put your feelings on the line, so that’s why I’ve put together 20 simple but foolproof ways to tell him, plus what to do in the case of rejection!
Let’s start with the most important step to take first:
1) Find out if he’s single
Before you make your move, it’s usually a good idea to find out whether he’s involved with someone else first.
If you already know him pretty well and you’re sure he’s single and free to mingle, you can head straight to the next step.
But if it’s a guy you’ve only met a few times and his social media doesn’t give away any hints of a relationship, there are other ways to find out.
You could ask mutual friends, or casually bring it up the next time you speak to him.
Also, listen closely if he uses “we” when he talks about plans for the weekend, or when he tells you about a recent trip he went on.
Why you should do this:
Knowing this information beforehand will save you a lot of awkwardness if it turns out he is seeing someone already.
Because let’s face it, no one enjoys being rejected by someone they like!
So, save yourself the embarrassment and do a little homework first beforehand.
2) Look out for signals that he likes you too
So you know he’s single, but does he like you too?
It’s quite obvious, but if he treats you like you’re just a friend, he probably sees you as just that.
But if he likes you, he won’t be able to conceal it for long. Look for little hints like the way he looks at you for just a second too long, and make note if he texts you every day and is usually the first to start the conversation.
Why you should do this:
Knowing that he likes you back will make it much easier to tell him you like him.
And, it opens up the possibility of him making the first move, or both of you naturally becoming closer. Here are a few other ways to get closer to a guy.
Also, you can take advantage of his signals to throw a few back of your own. We’re going to cover some great signals below, but just mimicking his behavior will be enough to let him know you’re interested too.
3) Take things slow
I know what it’s like to fancy the crap out of someone. You’re full of nerves, excitement, and all you want to do is blurt it out.
Every time you see him, you wish there was an easy way to say it, or better yet, if he just made the first move!
But remember, the best things in life take time and shouldn’t be rushed.
Why you should do this:
If the guy you like isn’t your friend yet, there’s no harm in getting to know him a bit better before confessing your feelings.
It’ll give you a chance to see how compatible you guys are, and importantly, whether you truly like him or just the idea of him. You’ll also be able to figure out if he’s the type of man you’re looking for.
On the other hand:
If you already have a solid friendship and you want to take it to the next level, take some time to figure out whether you want to risk the friendship by confessing your feelings.
4) Or straight-up tell him!
Now, some of you might have read my previous point and thought, “yeah, right, as if I can wait”, whilst rolling your eyes.
If that’s the case, you know what you want, so go for it!
The next opportunity you get, just open up and tell him you can’t stop thinking about him. You love his hair. You want to get married and have lots of babies…
Or maybe not so much detail, but you get the gist.
Why you should do this:
Just as there are benefits in waiting and planning your move, sometimes spontaneity is the best way forward.
For one, you don’t have time to get nervous and overthink how to tell him you like him.
And secondly, the element of surprise might catch him off guard, in a good way.
5) Keep your expectations realistic
Not to be a Debbie Downer so early on, but the mindset is important when it comes to revealing your feelings for someone.
You’ve got to consider the fact that he might not feel the same way about you. Or, he might like you too but be super nervous about it.
Or, that he might be confused about his feelings and react uncomfortably. Anything can happen, good or bad, so just be prepared for it.
Why you should do this:
Being prepared is important in any situation. But in this case, where you’re putting your feelings on the line and being vulnerable, it’s particularly important.
Now, there’s no harm in being excited and getting your hopes up, that’s all part of the fun of crushing on someone!
But being realistic, especially if there’s been little indication that he likes you back, can’t hurt if the outcome isn’t a good one, or if he’s unsure of his feelings.
Read here what to do when you’re waiting for a guy who doesn’t know what he wants.
6) Keep conversations light and fun
Now we’ve got that out of the way, make sure to keep your interactions lighthearted and engaging.
And whilst there’s no harm talking about serious or personal things with your crush, overdoing it probably won’t make him more inclined to like you back.
So, focus on the good stuff. Bring positive vibes, live like you’ve got nothing to lose, and most importantly, have fun when you’re together.
Why you should do this:
If you’re happy and having a good time with him, showing him through conversation is a great way to let him know you like him.
And there’s another important reason:
Lighthearted conversations make it a lot easier to flirt!
7) Eye contact, eye contact, eye contact!
Eye contact is going to be your best friend when it comes to telling him you like him.
If you’re quite shy and find staring into someone’s eyes weird and creepy, don’t worry, you’re not going to freak him out.
As long as you maintain eye contact during the right parts of the conversation, for example, if you compliment him or vice versa, or when you’re both laughing away, it’ll be enough.
And, here’s what it means when a guy looks you up and down (it’s a good indication that he’s attracted to you too!).
Why you should do this:
Eye contact is amazing on so many different levels:
- It can be flirtatious depending on how much you “work it”
- It releases oxytocin which increases sexual desire and emotional bonds
- It adds a sense of mystery and can make him fantasize about you
And importantly, it shows him he has your attention. And there’s nothing more attractive than giving someone the attention they want and crave.
8) Take an interest in his passions
Another great way to tell a guy you like him is to find out what makes him tick.
What does he love doing? What makes him excited and happy?
It’s not hard to find this type of stuff out, just ask questions. Keep them open-ended (avoid questions that only need a “yes” or “no” answer) and take mental notes of hobbies or interests he has.
Why you should do this:
It’s quite simple — people love to talk about the things they’re passionate about. Even the timidest guy will open up if you find the right topic to talk about.
And, by taking an interest in this, it’ll make him feel special and increase the connection you share.
9) Find things you have in common
Just as you need to find out what he likes doing in life, it’s also a good idea to find out what you guys have in common.
If you both love running, great, start running together. If you’re both into films, plan a movie night.
And, don’t be afraid to get adventurous. If skiing is something you’ve both wanted to try, why not do it together?
Why you should do this:
Building on the things you already have in common is a great way to spark the connection with him, and the perfect excuse to hang out.
And if you don’t have much in common?
That’s okay, just get creative and find things you might both enjoy that you’ve never tried before. Or, get out of your comfort zone and try something new, you never know what you might end up liking!
10) Don’t be afraid to flirt a little
We’ve touched a little on flirting already, but it’s going to come in handy when it comes to telling him you like him.
Laugh at his jokes, brush your hand against his, and gently tease him.
Flirt enough to let him know you’re attracted to him, but not enough to come across as “too much” (so leave the cheesy pick-up lines out of it).
Why you should do this:
Flirting with him will make him feel desired and wanted. It sends a clear signal that you’re into him.
And, it’s the perfect way to find out if he likes you too. If he flirts back, well, you know what it means.
11) Be calm but bold
If you’re reading this article, the chances are you haven’t told many guys you like them before.
And I get it, even though it’s a little outdated, there’s still a stigma of “the guy makes the first move”. But life’s too short to wait for someone else to call the shots.
If you like him, you’ve got to put on a brave face, summon up your inner badass and come out with it.
With that in mind, being calm about it will stop you from becoming flustered or babbling on out of nerves. Remember, the worst that can happen is a rejection, and as much as it’ll suck, it just means he isn’t the right one for you!
Why you should do this:
Quite simply:
Being bold is sexy. And being cool, calm, and collected is super attractive. With a combination of the two, it’ll be hard for him to resist you.
12) Compliment him, but genuinely
It’s no surprise that compliments will get you far. Just as women enjoy being admired, so do guys. But leave out fake compliments, and don’t make it all just about his appearance.
Of course, you can compliment his looks, but most men appreciate genuine comments. And that includes complimenting his personality, too. It’s also best to use “I” statements rather than “you” statements.
For example, instead of saying, “You’re so nice to everyone”, you should say, “I love how you treat the people around you”.
Why you should do this:
Complimenting him will make him feel good.
And, it’ll show him that you value him, his personality, and his actions. And of course, how irresistible you find him.
But the key is to be genuine. If you do it fishing for a compliment back, he’ll quickly pick up on it.
13) Show him with your body language
Forget any fancy tricks or game playing, telling a guy you like him couldn’t be easier because you have one very powerful tool at your disposal:
Your body language!
Don’t overestimate how many signals you can send just by the way you position yourself. Here are a few ways to do it:
- Lean in whenever he talks to you
- Brush your hair behind your ear to reveal your neck (no vampire crap, it’s just a subtle way to draw his attention there)
- Touch him lightly, by resting your hand on his arm or leaning your leg against his when sitting down
And one more thing to add — put your phone away when you’re with him.
Use your body language and give him your full attention. There’s nothing worse than trying to talk to someone who is constantly distracted by their phone.
Why you should do this:
Putting your phone away is just common courtesy and good manners.
Using body language is a no-brainer! You can literally send him signals without saying a word.
And unless he’s extremely naive, he’ll quickly clock on to what you’re trying to tell him.
14) Make friends with his friends
One way to make it easier to tell him you like him is to get in with his crew.
Not in a fake way, but if you get the chance, get to know his friends and make an effort to hang out together.
Whether you plan fun stuff as a group, or you go on double dates, it never hurts to be in the good books of his friends.
Why you should do this:
Think about it if the situation was reversed:
If a guy likes you and all your friends think he is great, you’re more likely to consider him seriously.
On the other hand, if they don’t get good vibes or never get the chance to meet him, their lack of enthusiasm might make you think twice too.
So it’s the same situation for him.
Not to mention, seeing you all get along will make you appear more attractive. This will only increase your chances of success when you reveal your feelings for him.
15) Always be yourself
Now, a lot of the focus has been on winning him over, finding out what he’s into, and giving him special attention.
But it’s important not to lose yourself in the process. Liking someone can feel all-consuming sometimes like it’s the only thing you can think about.
The truth is though, being yourself around him is the ultimate sign that you like him and feel comfortable in his company.
Why you should do this:
As well as being a clear indicator that you feel safe to be yourself around him, it’s also for him to see the real you.
Because as much as you like him, you also want him to like you back. And it should be for the person you are, not the person you’re trying to be to get his attention.
And finally:
Being yourself no matter what shows strength, confidence, and integrity. These are fantastic qualities to have or work towards, so be proud of your quirks, don’t hold back on showcasing your personality, and give him the chance to like the real you.
16) Give yourself a deadline
If you’re excited but those nerves keep getting in the way, I completely get it. This is the type of conversation I’d probably put off having too.
But if this is the case, you’ve got to get it over and done with. The longer you leave it, the harder it’ll be to tell him.
So, set yourself a deadline. Give yourself two weeks, or three, whatever works for you, but stick to your goal.
Why you should do this:
Giving yourself a deadline will give you a push to tell him, and it’ll also stop you from having too much time to overthink everything.
Plus, there’s always the possibility that while you’re dithering waiting for the perfect opportunity (which rarely exists unless you make it happen) he could meet someone else.
And then it would get awkward – so put a date in your calendar, and stick to it no matter what.
17) Don’t do it over text
But with that previous point in mind, if you have to wait to tell him in person, it’s still better than telling him over text.
The truth is:
Texting is the easy way out, but you lose the opportunity of seeing his reaction face to face, and potentially all the good stuff that’ll come after it!
So going back to what we said about being bold and confident, resist the urge to tell him online (although flirting and hinting via text is okay and part of the fun).
Why you should do this:
So why should you tell him in person?
We live in a world where so much is done with technology. Let’s keep some things “real”, especially when it comes to love and relationships.
Sure, texting might feel like the easy way to do it, but you’ll capture his attention much better if you tell him in person.
And, it reduces the chance of misunderstanding. Texting your emotions just isn’t the same as looking someone in the eye and telling them how you feel.
18) Find the right place to do it
If you do decide to take the step and tell him straight up, it’s a good idea to find somewhere appropriate to tell him.
Somewhere quiet and relaxing, so you can talk in peace without any unwanted interruptions, maybe a place that you know he loves and feels comfortable in.
It’s also important, sometimes, to find the right time to do it.
If you know he’s got a lot on his plate right now or he’s extremely stressed out, maybe wait for a time when he’ll be in a better place to talk.
Why you should do this:
Let’s be honest, guys like a little romance too.
And, if you end up getting together, you’ll no doubt look back on that conversation or date with fond memories, so why not make it a little special and do it at the right time, right place?
19) But don’t overplan it
With that in mind, you don’t want to overthink things.
Go with your gut feeling, if the time feels right and you want to go for it, don’t hold back!
Be open to going with the flow, and try to let things develop naturally if you can. Be yourself, and don’t get caught up in it all.
Your emotions might make you feel even more nervous, and you might want to plan every little detail out.
But in reality?
This just creates more expectations and more chances of disappointment. Especially if things don’t come out how you had planned them to.
Why you should do this:
Love, romance, and relationships are rarely straightforward and smooth. But that doesn’t mean that people don’t get together, fall in love, and create happy memories.
The problem is when you build up expectations. They may potentially ruin something that might become great if given the chance.
20) Ask him on a date
And finally, there’s no better way to tell him you like him than simply inviting him out on a date.
We live in the modern world and there’s absolutely no reason you can’t make the first move and ask him out! If anything, it makes you appear more self-assured and confident, good qualities to have.
For a first date, you might want to keep it casual. Coffee or a drink is usually a good idea, as you can extend the date into dinner if you’re both having a good time.
Why you should do this:
As well as your assertiveness being super sexy, asking him out is another surefire way of finding out if he likes you back or not…
If he accepts the date, it’s clear he’s interested. If he doesn’t, well, it saves you the awkwardness of confessing your feelings to someone who isn’t into you.
What if he’s not interested?
As I’ve already mentioned, rejection is a real possibility.
And whilst it might sound like the worst thing in the world, trust me, with time it’ll get easier to accept.
Sure, it’ll be uncomfortable and you’ll probably want the ground to open up and swallow you up during the conversation, but after a while, you’ll get over it.
Why?
Because rejection is a part of life, just like everything else we go through!
Whether it’s rejection in love or not getting the dream job you had worked hard for, learning to accept rejection can massively change how you perceive “failure”, and how quickly you bounce back from it.
So if he’s not interested, give yourself a little time to be sad (it’s natural), and then pick yourself back up and remind yourself that just because he can’t see your worth, it doesn’t mean someone else won’t!
And ultimately, your opinion of yourself shouldn’t be swayed by a guy who doesn’t know what he’s missing out on.
So keep your head up, accept his rejection gracefully, and move on with your life.
If you have to see him regularly, let’s say you’re friends or coworkers, it’s perfectly okay to take some time apart while you lick your wounds and rebuild your confidence.
During this time, give yourself plenty of TLC (tender lovin’ care), and remember, one day when you’re cozied up with the love of your life, you’re going to be glad that this guy rejected you!
As they say, when one door closes, another opens…
Final thoughts
For the time being, put thoughts of rejection to one side and get your game plan ready. In conclusion, to tell a guy you like him, you’re going to need:
- A healthy dose of confidence and “badass-ness”
- A deadline so you don’t waste months planning it out
- Plenty of flirting and eye contact
- The courage to say it face-to-face
With the steps above, you’ve got everything you need to go and take your love life into your own hands. No more waiting for the guy to make the first move because girl, you’ve got this!
