8 signs that show someone loves you, according to psychology

Love can be a bit of a mystery, right? Sometimes it’s glaringly obvious, while other times it’s subtle, hiding behind little actions and gestures. That’s where psychology comes in handy!

As Tina Fey, founder of the Love Connection blog and self-proclaimed relationship sleuth, I’ve spent years studying the science of love. And let me tell you, there are some tell-tale signs that reveal when someone’s really smitten with you.

In this article, we’re going to explore 8 signs that show someone loves you, according to psychology. These cues aren’t about grand gestures or expensive gifts. They’re about the little things that show genuine affection.

Let’s dive in and decode the language of love together!

1) They really listen

Listening is an art, and not everyone is a Picasso at it.

In this fast-paced world, people often listen just to respond, not to understand. But when someone loves you, they genuinely want to hear what you have to say.

According to psychology, active listening is a sign of deep emotional connection. It involves not just hearing the words, but also paying attention to your feelings and emotions. It’s about empathy, understanding, and validation.

So notice if they’re really there with you during conversations. If they remember details from your stories, respond thoughtfully, and show genuine interest in your experiences, chances are they’re painting a masterpiece of love.

And remember, real listening is about more than just words – it’s about tuning into your emotions too. So if you feel seen and heard when you’re with them, that’s a good sign!

But just like all signs of love, make sure it’s consistent and genuine to avoid mistaking politeness for love.

2) They make time for you

We’ve all heard the saying, “we make time for what we love.” And I wholeheartedly believe it’s true.

As a relationship expert, I’ve noticed that when someone is genuinely in love, they’ll always find a way to spend time with you. Regardless of how busy their schedule is, they’ll prioritize you.

According to psychology, this is because love triggers the release of oxytocin, a hormone that fosters bonding and connection. The more time you spend with someone, the more oxytocin is released, and the stronger your bond becomes.

So if they’re consistently making an effort to be with you and share experiences, it’s likely they have deep feelings for you.

As the legendary physicist Albert Einstein once said – “Love is not about possession, it’s about appreciation.”

While wanting to spend time with you is a good sign, it’s equally important they respect your personal space and independence.

3) They respect your boundaries

Love is about respect, and respect means understanding and acknowledging each other’s boundaries.

In my years of studying relationships, I’ve observed that a person who truly loves you will never overstep or ignore your personal boundaries. They understand that a healthy relationship is about mutual respect and compromise.

This can be as simple as respecting your need for alone time, understanding your career obligations, or even acknowledging your food preferences. It’s all about giving each other the space to be yourselves within the relationship.

In fact, I’ve dedicated an entire section to this topic in my book – Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship. In it, I discuss the importance of setting boundaries and how it can help strengthen your love connection.

If they love you, they’ll value your comfort and respect your boundaries. It’s not about controlling each other but about nurturing a balanced, respectful bond.

4) They challenge you

This might sound a bit counterintuitive, but bear with me.

When someone loves you, they won’t just nod along to everything you say or do. They’ll challenge you, push you out of your comfort zone, and inspire you to grow.

According to psychology, this is a sign of a healthy and mature love. It’s the kind of love that sees your potential and wants to help you reach it.

Of course, this isn’t about being confrontational or argumentative. It’s about inspiring growth and improvement in a supportive and caring way.

So if they’re not afraid to disagree with you on occasion, or if they encourage you to try new things and step outside your comfort zone, it’s likely because they genuinely care about you and your personal growth.

Love isn’t always about agreeing on everything; sometimes it’s about helping each other become the best versions of ourselves.

5) They notice the little things

Isn’t it wonderful when someone remembers your favorite ice cream flavor or the name of your childhood pet?

In my personal experience, I’ve found that when someone truly loves you, they genuinely take an interest in the little things about you. You might think these details are insignificant, but to them, they’re little pieces of the puzzle that is you.

According to psychology, this attention to detail is indicative of deep emotional connection. It shows that they are not just interested in you, but in understanding and knowing you completely.

So if they remember your preferences, your quirks, your stories – it’s likely because they’re storing these pieces of information close to their heart.

Love is often found in the details!

6) They’re not afraid to show vulnerability

Let’s get real for a moment, shall we?

Love isn’t always rainbows and butterflies; it can be messy and raw. It requires us to open up, to be vulnerable, and to show our true selves – flaws and all.

Someone who truly loves you won’t always have their walls up around you. They’ll let you see their weaknesses, their fears, their insecurities. They trust you enough to let you see them at their most vulnerable.

Psychology tells us that vulnerability is a cornerstone of deep emotional connection. It shows that they’re comfortable enough with you to let their guard down and be their authentic selves.

If they’re sharing their deepest thoughts and emotions with you, it’s likely because they love you enough to risk being vulnerable. Remember, true love is about accepting each other, flaws and all.

7) They support your dreams

As someone deeply passionate about relationships, I’ve always believed that one of the most beautiful aspects of love is having someone who believes in you and your dreams.

When someone loves you, they become your biggest cheerleader. They support your aspirations, encourage your ambitions, and celebrate your victories.

Psychology affirms this, stating that supporting a partner’s personal goals and dreams is a significant component of a loving relationship.

If they’re always there to give you that extra push when you need it or celebrate with you when you succeed, it’s a sign they truly care for you.

Remember the wise words of American author Roy T. Bennett – “Love is not about how much you say ‘I love you’, but how much you can prove that it’s true.” Supporting your dreams is their way of showing their love in action.

8) They apologize when they’re wrong

This one’s a bit tough to swallow, but it’s important.

In a world where everyone wants to be right, admitting you’re wrong is difficult. But when someone truly loves you, they’re not afraid to say they’re sorry.

Psychology asserts that the ability to apologize when wrong is a strong sign of emotional intelligence and maturity. It shows that they value the relationship more than their ego.

So if they’re quick to admit their mistakes and sincerely apologize when they mess up, it’s because they respect you and your feelings. They understand that love is about humility and forgiveness.

Love isn’t about being perfect; it’s about being real, raw, and honest. And sometimes, that means saying “I’m sorry”.


Love is complex and multi-faceted, but these signs can help you decipher whether what you’re experiencing is genuine love. Remember, true love respects, supports, challenges, and values you.

For more insights on love and relationships, I invite you to check out my book – Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship. It’s packed with practical advice on nurturing healthy, balanced relationships.

Remember, love isn’t just about feeling butterflies in your stomach; it’s about a deep emotional connection that’s built on respect, trust, and mutual growth. So here’s to finding and nurturing that kind of love!

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