There’s a fine line between being diplomatic and being dishonest.
The distinction lies in transparency. When a man is not entirely honest, he might say things to make you think what he wants, without revealing his true motives.
When a man is diplomatic, he still lets you form your own opinions, even while subtly guiding the conversation.
Diplomacy is about tactfully navigating a situation. Smart women know that certain phrases are clear indicators of a man not being completely truthful.
Here are some phrases to listen out for to help decipher if a man is being fully honest with you.
1) “You’re overthinking it”
In the realm of relationships, understanding the truth behind words is crucial.
Men, like any other human beings, sometimes resort to phrases that divert from the hard truth.
One common phrase is “You’re overthinking it”. It can make you second guess your intuition and make you feel like you’re making a big deal out of nothing.
Truth is, it’s a classic way of avoiding an uncomfortable topic or conversation. It’s often used when a man doesn’t want to address your concerns or admit to something he has done.
Your feelings and concerns are valid. If something doesn’t feel right, there’s usually a reason for it.
2) “It’s not that serious”
In my own experience, there’s a certain phrase that has been a red flag for me: “It’s not that serious.”
I remember an instance when I was seeing a guy who would often keep our plans pretty loose, and he’d frequently change them at the last minute. It bothered me, so I decided to communicate my feelings to him. His response? “It’s not that serious.”
Initially, I thought, maybe he’s right, perhaps I was blowing things out of proportion.
But as time went on, I realized it was his go-to phrase whenever I brought up anything that he didn’t want to deal with. It was his way of downplaying the situation and avoiding having a genuine discussion about my concerns.
This phrase can be a sign that he’s not taking your feelings or the situation as seriously as he should. So don’t ignore it; your feelings are valid and should be treated as such.
3) “I don’t remember saying that”
Selective memory can often be a tool in the arsenal of someone trying to evade the truth. The phrase “I don’t remember saying that” can sometimes be a dead giveaway.
Human memory is fascinating. Psychologists say that we’re more likely to remember things that are emotionally significant to us. So, if something was important enough to spark a disagreement or discussion, chances are, he remembers it.
This phrase is often used as a way to deflect guilt or avoid taking responsibility for something said. It’s an attempt to make you question your own memory rather than him owning up to his words.
4) “Trust me”
Trust is a fundamental pillar in any relationship. But trust isn’t something to be demanded; it’s something to be earned.
The phrase “Trust me” is often used when a man wants to convince you of something without providing substantial evidence or reasoning.
The irony of the phrase is that it can sometimes signal the opposite, especially when used frequently or without context. It’s as if he’s trying to override your doubts or concerns without addressing them properly.
When you hear “Trust me”, consider whether he has earned that trust through his actions. If not, there might be more to his story than meets the eye.
5) “I was just joking”
Humor is a beautiful thing. It lightens our mood and brings joy to our lives. However, it can also be used as a facade to hide the truth.
The phrase “I was just joking” can often be used as a way to backpedal on a statement that was met with disapproval or disbelief.
Imagine this scenario: he says something hurtful or shocking, and noticing your upset reaction, quickly follows up with “I was just joking”. This is an attempt to avoid taking responsibility for the initial statement by disguising it as humor.
It’s important to trust your gut here. If something he says as a “joke” doesn’t sit well with you, there may be underlying truth to his words.
6) “I don’t want to hurt you”
This phrase can be a heartbreaker. “I don’t want to hurt you” is often used when a man is trying to soften the blow of an unpleasant truth.
He might say this when he’s about to break off the relationship, admit to something he’s done wrong, or reveal something he thinks you won’t like.
It’s not always a sign of dishonesty, but it often indicates that he’s not being entirely upfront about his feelings or actions. He’s trying to protect you, but in doing so, he might be withholding the full truth.
Honesty, even when it hurts, is the foundation of any strong relationship. It’s better to face an unpleasant truth than to live in blissful ignorance.
7) “Nothing’s wrong, I’m fine”
Many of us are familiar with the phrase “Nothing’s wrong, I’m fine”. In truth, it has often been a sign that something is indeed wrong.
A couple of years ago, I was dating a man who would frequently become distant and dismissive. Each time I asked him if something was wrong, he’d respond with “Nothing’s wrong, I’m fine.”
Over time, I realized this was his way of avoiding difficult conversations. He wasn’t comfortable expressing his feelings or concerns, so he’d hide behind this phrase.
The lesson here is that if you feel there’s something off, don’t ignore your intuition. If he says he’s fine, but his actions suggest otherwise, there might be something he’s not telling you.
8) “I’m just tired”
Feeling tired is a universal experience. We all have our off days. But when “I’m just tired” is used repeatedly as an excuse for unusual behavior, it can be a sign of evasion.
He might use this phrase as a way to avoid further questions or to gloss over his actions. It can be a simple way to deflect attention from the real issue at hand.
Of course, he might genuinely be tired. However, if this phrase is used frequently without a reasonable explanation, it could be a sign that he’s not being completely honest about what’s going on.
Communication is key in any relationship. If you suspect there’s more to his tiredness than he’s letting on, it might be time for a deeper conversation.
9) “It’s not you, it’s me”
This phrase might be the most well-known one on the list. “It’s not you, it’s me” is often a way to end a relationship without pointing out the other person’s faults.
While it might be intended to lessen the blow, it can also be a way to avoid taking responsibility for the real reasons behind a breakup.
The truth is, honesty and transparency are vital in any relationship. If he uses this phrase, he might not be giving you the full picture. Remember, you deserve an honest explanation. Don’t settle for less.
Final thoughts: It’s about respect
The complexities of human communication and relationships often come down to a simple word: respect.
Respect for one another’s feelings, thoughts, and experiences is vital for any healthy relationship. And being honest, even when it’s difficult, shows a deep level of respect.
The phrases we’ve discussed may be indicators of a man not being completely honest with you. But they should not be seen as definitive judgments about his character or intentions.
People are complex and varied in their communication styles. Sometimes, these phrases might be used without any ill intent. Other times, they might indeed signal dishonesty.
The most important thing is to trust your intuition, communicate openly, and seek honesty in your relationships. After all, you deserve nothing less.
Remember this: communication is not just about the words we say but also how we say them and what we mean by them. So listen carefully, trust your instincts, and never settle for less than honesty and respect.