You’ve been single for a while, but now your ex-boyfriend is texting you and wants to be friends.
What does this mean? Is it too soon? Should you be happy? Should you say yes or no?
To make matters more confusing, you really want him back! Yes, you are still hoping to rekindle the flame between you two.
And now, it seems like your ex-boyfriend is re-initiating contact. But is he trying to make amends, or does he want closure?
Perhaps he’s trying to tell you that the breakup was a mistake, right?
Well, perhaps it is. Perhaps he had a change of heart, and he wants you back too.
The truth is, there is no way for you to know for sure why your ex wants to be friends. It could be good news or it could be a disaster.
However, if you’re looking to get back together with your ex-boyfriend and he’s asked to be friends first, then it’s a great sign.
Here are some reasons your ex-lover would want to be friends (if he wants you back).
1) He wasn’t happy being single
Many men who have ended a relationship presume that they can be happy without their ex-girlfriend – but that’s not the case.
They still love you, even if they don’t want to be with you. A friendship would allow them to spend time with you and get over the hurt so that they can be honest about what he wants.
When your ex-boyfriend asks to be friends again, he’s admitting that he wasn’t able to live without you. If a man could be happy without you, why would he want to be friends again?
2) He misses your companionship
A man wants to spend time with the woman he loves.
If he asks to be friends again so that he can “catch up”, it’s a good sign that your ex-boyfriend wants something more than friendship – even if it’s not romantic love.
He’ll want more than friendship because he misses your companionship and wants to fill the hole in his life.
He misses all of the things that made up your relationship – including the daily conversations and being there for each other through thick and thin.
Being friends without any romantic feelings would give him the chance to miss you, and then he can decide whether he wants to be with you or not
3) He feels sad about losing you
If your ex-boyfriend wants to be friends with you because he’s sad to lose you, then it’s a good sign that he still has feelings for you.
The reason he wanted to break up with you was that he wasn’t sure if he could give you what you needed in the long run.
It wasn’t necessarily because he wanted to be single – it was because he wasn’t at a place in his life to commit.
However, if he still has feelings for you, then he’s telling himself that it’s not too late for the two of you. So if he’s now reaching out, it means that your relationship made an impact on him, and that’s a good sign to get back together.
4) He misses being with someone he loves
Being in love is the most wonderful feeling in the world.
A man who misses you will tell himself that it’s not too late for you two to be together.
As with the previous reason, if he still has feelings for you, then it’s a great sign that he wants to be friends with you again to spend more time with you.
He might even still feel the same way about you – but wants to take things slow. If your ex-boyfriend wants to be with you, he’ll admit it. He’ll tell you that he’s interested in rekindling the love both of you put out.
5) He wants to get to know you better
Some men think that they’re just civil with their ex-girlfriend, but if they ask to resume the friendship, it’s a good sign that he wants to get to know you again and now, better.
He wants to learn more about you- things about your family and friends, your interests and dreams- that he did not know before. And now that he’s gotten to know you better, he wants more.
It’s not unusual for a man who’s still interested in pursuing a relationship with you after breaking up – and who asks if he can become more than friends – to want to get together again.
Now that he’s gotten to know who you are better, he wants more than friendship – and if so, then it’s a good sign.
6) He’s worried about losing you for good
What does he think will happen if you both don’t hang out again? Will you get back together? Will he lose the chance to be with you forever?
If your ex-boyfriend still has strong feelings for you, he’ll likely have a lot of fears. If he lets go, it means that he’ll have to move forward and find someone new.
It also means that he’ll have to live with the reality of your relationship coming to an end.
If he asks to be friends because he’s worried about losing you for good, then it means that he still has feelings for you and he’s not ready to just walk away from the chance of getting back together.
7) He wants to keep you interested
If your ex-boyfriend wants to be friends so that you’ll still have feelings for him, then it’s a good sign.
It means that he knows how hard it will be to get back together if you don’t have strong feelings for him.
If your ex-boyfriend thinks that you might move on, he may ask to be friends now while he works on getting his life together. It’s easier to start over from friendship than from the beginning.
So if he’s now reaching out to you again, it means that he wants to keep you interested and make sure that you’re in the best state of mind to give him another chance.
8) He misses the man he was when he was with you
If your ex-boyfriend wants to be friends because he misses who he is when he’s around you, then it could be a sign.
Every relationship is a chance for growth, and perhaps your ex-boyfriend was able to grow more than he expected.
Sometimes, the best thing you can do for someone is show them who they are when they’re with you.
If your ex-boyfriend wants to spend more time with you, it means that your relationship taught him something about himself – and that’s a good sign.
If he asks to hang out again, your ex-boyfriend is probably doing it for himself. He wants to learn more about who he is and why you were so special- since you are the only person he can show this side of him.
9) He wants to see how you’ve grown
Your ex-boyfriend might want to be friends so that he can see how you’ve grown.
If he’s been away from you for a while, he’ll probably want to see how you’ve matured and grown.
He may also want to spend time with you now that you’ve had time to cope with the loss of your relationship.
Your ex-boyfriend wants to see how you’ve moved on and what your new opinions are. That’s because he knows that your relationship taught him something about himself – like the way he thinks about life or other people in his life.
He wants to see how your relationship has made you a better woman so that he can continue to grow as well.
10) He wants to understand what he did wrong
If you’re still in a relationship with your ex-boyfriend, it’s unlikely that you’ll be completely happy with the way things were. You might want him to change things a little bit to make sure that you’re both on the same page.
If your ex-boyfriend wants to be friends because he wants to understand why he did things wrong in the past, then it’s a good sign.
He might have done certain things because he didn’t know how else to express his feelings, or because he wasn’t ready for a serious relationship yet.
He might also want to know what he did wrong so that he can do it better in the future.
So if your ex-boyfriend is now reaching out to you, it could mean that he wants to fix things and understand his actions better so that you’ll be in sync with each other in the future.
11) He wants to give your love a second shot before moving on
If your ex-boyfriend wants to be friends now because he’s not ready for another serious relationship yet, it’s a good sign.
He’s planning and giving himself time before he truly has no other choice but to move on.
If he’s still reaching out to you, then it means that he thinks that there’s hope for the two of you if things work out between the two of you.
He thinks that there’s a chance of future success if he stays the course with you and makes an attempt at fixing what went wrong in your relationship.
12) He thinks you’re the best he’ll ever get
If your ex-boyfriend wants to be friends because he can’t imagine anyone else ever being as good as you, it’s a good sign.
It means that he might regret letting go of you and knows that you deserve better than how things ended. If your ex-boyfriend truly thinks that you’re the best he’ll ever get, then he’ll know what to do when he sees an opportunity to get back together with you.
He’ll know that this is a chance to get back everything that was lost and make his relationship with you better than before.
13) He wants to make things right with you
If your ex-boyfriend wants to be friends because he feels guilty about how you’ve been treated, then it’s a good sign.
He might have lost himself in the relationship and made mistakes that he never intended on making.
If your ex-boyfriend thinks that he can make things right with you and fix his mistakes, then it means that he won’t let anything separate the two of you.
He’s done some serious soul searching and learned about himself during your relationship – and now it’s time for him to take this knowledge and put it into action.
Your ex-boyfriend is willing to give your love a second chance because he knows how much losing you has meant to him.
14) He can’t move on
If your ex-boyfriend wants to be friends because he’s still in love with you and won’t let go, then it’s a good sign.
It means that he doesn’t think that any of the things that you’ve shared have been irreplaceable. He might have thought about what could have happened to end your relationship, or what he did wrong during your time together.
If he can’t move on, then it means that he’s hung up on you and needs you back in his life. Your ex-boyfriend is afraid of losing the bond that was forged while staying with you and never wanting to get over another person again.
15) He wants to show you how he’s changed
If your ex-boyfriend wants to be friends because he thinks that you’ll be impressed with the way he’s changed, it’s a good sign.
He might have made mistakes in the past and just wants to get a second chance. If your ex-boyfriend thinks that you’d be impressed with the way his life has turned out, then it means that he can’t stop thinking about you.
He might be looking for an opportunity to reconnect with you and show you how much he’s changed all while making sure that the two of you never lose touch again.
The breakup may just be what he needed during the time to fix himself and come back as a better person worthy of your love.
16) He wants to mend your relationship
If your ex-boyfriend wants to be friends because he can’t stand seeing you with someone else, it’s a good sign.
He might have thought about the time that he lost with you and wants to make up for it.
If your ex-boyfriend thinks that he had his chance with you and now just wants a second chance so that he can fix things and put his old life behind him, then it means that he won’t let anything stop him when it comes down to making you happy.
17) He wants you back
He wants you back – he just doesn’t know how to make you see that.
The best way for him to get his point across is by being upfront with you. If he wants to be friends, then he’ll say the truth and tell you that he misses you. He’ll tell you that he wants to win back your heart and make your love story come full circle.
This is a great sign that the two of you can get back together.
If he’s able to say that he still has feelings for you, then it means that he wants to be with you.
He might not know how to tell you directly, but being friends again is the next closest thing that he can do. He’s letting you know that he still has feelings for you – and wants to take things slow.
18) He still loves you
The truth is, your ex-boyfriend might not want a relationship with you – but if he asks to be friends again, it’s because he still loves you.
The reason he was caught up in the relationship and not realizing that he’d be better off as friends – is that he still loves you. He’s more open-minded and trusting, so now that you have a chance to spend time together again, he doesn’t want to miss the opportunity.
So if your ex-boyfriend asks to be friends with you again, get ready for a little more from him- and don’t let this moment go to waste – the only way to be sure is to ask if he wants a chance to come back.
In conclusion, whatever reasons your ex-boyfriend has for rekindling your communication, one thing is for sure- he is keeping his options open.
In a lot of cases, it can be a sign that he wants to get back together, but it can also mean that he is trying to get over you.
The best thing you can do is to be sure to take things slow with him so you can figure out what he wants.
Keep in mind that reconnecting with an ex-boyfriend may take some time – especially if you are both still hurting from the breakup. A lot of things can happen in between.
You may or may not know the real reason why your ex wants to be friends with you. But whatever the reasons are, it’s up to you if you want him back or not.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
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