A player texts you every day. They never miss a single text and seem to be on the same page as you.
You should feel flattered, right? Well not so fast…
The player might actually have ulterior motives.
Lucky for you, we’ve prepared this guide to help you through the tricky game of staying on top of your game.
20 reasons why a player would text you every day
1) They don’t have a life and need someone else to fill their days
One of the reasons why a player would text you every day is because they wouldn’t have anything to do if they didn’t.
They might find it hard to be alone with their thoughts, so they might fill the silence by sending you a text.
You may not realize that this is happening because you may be flattered by the attention.
I’ve been there:
It’s great to get the validation that you’re wanted by someone.
But don’t let it go to your head.
It might be a warning sign that this guy/girl isn’t interested in anything serious and has no life outside of texting you.
2) They’re hoping for something in return like a date or a hookup
Now that you know that this person is a player, you might be turned off by the thought of them expecting something in return.
It’s human nature to want to reciprocate.
They may not ask anything of you upfront, but they might try to later on if they don’t get what they want right away.
They’ll start with small favors and work their way up until they ask for something serious like a date or sex (or both).
So how to know if they want a date or a hookup?
Well, they might ask you straightforwardly.
On the other hand, they might hint at it by sending provocative texts.
If either of these things happen, you know that they’re not interested in anything long-term with you yet (or ever).
All they want is a quick hookup or a date or two and it’s on to the next person that messages them.
3) They like the thrill of the chase (and feel empowered by doing this)
People like to feel powerful.
We’re hardwired to want to feel special, wanted, and in control of our lives, so they text because it gives them a unique power over you.
They have the upper hand.
This might not be true for every player, but if you’ve been the target of the aforementioned texts, you know what I mean.
They like the rush of gamesmanship and uncertainty that comes with texting multiple people.
It’s exciting because they never know who they’re going to get next from or what kind of person it will be or where it will happen.
They might ask something like “So if we go out, what would you be interested in doing?” or something similar in their first message.
They’ll play with the thought of if you’re interested in them for a while and decide that you aren’t before shutting down the conversation.
It’s all about wanting to keep the thrill of this game up and feel empowered by doing so.
4) They want to test the waters before being too committed
This is where it gets tricky.
They might be testing the waters to see if you’re worth keeping around or not.
Maybe they aren’t sure if they want to date you or get serious with you, so they play the game of whether they should text again.
You might be hurt by this or not see their intentions clearly.
Just like how they’re keeping your emotions in a constant state of flux, they don’t want to make a big commitment yet.
So my biggest advice is to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.
With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice tailored to your unique situation…
Relationship Hero is a popular site where highly trained relationship coaches help people work through complex relationship issues, like dating a player. Their popularity boils down to how skilled their coaches are.
Why am I so confident that they can help you?
Well, I recently experienced a tough patch in my own relationship, and I reached out to them for help. From the moment I got in touch, I was given genuine, helpful advice, and was finally able to see my relationship issues with real clarity.
I was blown away by how kind and empathetic my coach was.
Within minutes, you could be receiving life-changing advice on how to navigate and repair the issues you’re facing with a player.
5) They might want to build a relationship before asking you out on a date
OK, I know what you’re thinking:
How does this make any sense?
Let me explain.
If a player texts you every day, they might be doing it so that you won’t ask them out on a date.
They want to keep their options open, and they might not be ready to commit to one person.
Maybe they’ve had too many bad experiences in the past or don’t want to rush into things with you.
And they also want to keep the excitement alive and see how long they can talk to you before it becomes too “official.”
Sending a short text that lets you know that they’re thinking about you is a safer way for them to do this.
This way they can still keep you around and have the option to ask you out after a while.
6) They are trying to manipulate you
This might look like they’re just being playful, but it’s not the case.
The main purpose of text-driven relationships is to control and manipulate you into doing what they want you to do.
The most obvious example of this is going on dates.
Another way that players can manipulate you is by playing mind games in their texts.
They’ll send you confusing or suggestive texts to get a reaction out of you. Or they might send the same message and see what you say in reply.
You may not realize that this is happening, but it’s very common.
It’s a way for them to stay in control of the situation and keep you on your toes so that they can have fun with you.
So keep in mind:
People who text in these manipulative ways are not interested in you as a person of substance.
They’re playing games and will continue to do so until they’re bored with you or you force them to stop.
7) It helps them escape their mundane lives for an hour or two
When players text you like this, they’re also using you as an escape from their daily lives.
They don’t have hobbies or goals, and they’re not really living their lives.
They’re just existing.
So when they text you, it’s a small bit of excitement for them to get out of their boring routine for at least an hour or two.
They use the small drama of their daily lives to keep the conversation going, and it’s never about “real” things or making any kind of effort to know you.
It’s all about trying to keep you attached to them, and it works for a lot of people because we want to feel wanted and needed.
I understand that this is a tactic that people can use in conversation with others.
But when it comes from a person who does this repeatedly, they’re using you as an escape.
8) You’re a trophy they like to show off to their friends
Here’s what most people don’t know:
Once you’re on a player’s radar, they can get really excited about you.
This is because you become a symbol for them to show off to their friends.
This might be one of the main reasons why they continue to text you back.
It’s not that they care about your feelings or what you want. It’s just that they like interacting with you and looking cool in front of their friends.
There are several ways to know if you’re being used as a trophy:
- They’re upset when you don’t reply to their text messages right away.
- They’re happy when you send them the “right” message back, but they’re not interested in what you have to say.
- They love to show you off to their friends and hang out with you. But they rarely want to spend time one-on-one.
- They get defensive when you ask them why they don’t want to go on a date or be serious with you. They might also tell you that it’s your fault for being insecure and asking so many questions.
So if this is what’s going on, it’s OK to end the conversation with them and walk away.
9) They are focusing on multiple relationships
This might sound like a big problem, but it’s perfectly reasonable.
If you’re dealing with a player, they probably have several different girls/guys they text at the same time.
And this is normal because they’re trying to catch up with all their different interests and friends at once.
They might be very busy right now and still act like they’re interested in you.
But when you ask them out on a date, they end up canceling or turning you down.
If you’re still on their radar, they’ll come back to you after a few days or weeks.
This is because it’s about quantity over quality for them. So stop wasting your time and energy on them, because they are simply not worthy of you.
10) You’re easy prey and they know it
Another reason that players text you back is that it’s easy and fun.
They don’t really care about you as a person, but they like the way they can play around with people.
They have a lot of energy and have never been serious with anyone, so it’s fun for them to mess around.
If your intentions are good, you should be able to see the difference in their texts from these normal people and understand that these players are not worth your time (or anyone else’s).
If you’re still not sure, try talking to their friends or other girls/guys who have dated them.
There’s a good chance they’ve heard of these “text-driven” relationships and that they’ll be able to give you some advice.
11) You remind them of someone who hurt them in the past
This is something that happens more than you’d think.
Sometimes it’s just a simple distraction, but players will also act like they’re interested in you to forget about someone else who hurt them in the past.
The person they’re trying to get over might be their ex or even a friend they hooked up with.
Often this person was abusive and treated them poorly, so it’s hard for these players to move on.
But instead of dealing with these feelings, they want to just focus on someone else who’s convenient.
And it doesn’t stop there.
As much as they might like you, they’ll continue to look for other people to text and maybe even hook up with.
12) They might be looking for a rebound
Sometimes players can see that things just aren’t working out with their current partner.
Maybe they don’t want to break up yet, or they can’t afford to be single right now.
So instead of dealing with those issues, they keep texting you and hoping that you’ll be the answer to their problems.
Imagine that once you realize the truth about this person, it’s enough to make you want to give up on love and walk away.
But I want to suggest a solution. You have all the tools you need to do this right now, right where you are.
I learnt about this from the modern-day shaman Rudá Iandê. He taught me how the lies we tell ourselves about love are part of what trap us in things like player behavior.
As Rudá explains in this transformational free video, love is available to us if we cut through the lies that we tell ourselves.
We need to face the facts about players and love.
The alternative is to end up in loveless relationships or endless dating frustration that only leaves us cold and empty.
The alternative is to be sunk in stagnant codependency and completely unable to resolve things like player behavior.
Rudá’s teachings showed me a whole new perspective.
While watching, I felt like someone understood my struggles to find love for the first time – and finally offered an actual, practical solution to the problem of player behavior.
If you’re done with wasting your time on love that doesn’t work, I invite you to watch this short video and open your mind to new possibilities.
13) You’re the only person who has gone out with them in a while
This is another very common reason players text you back, and it’s not always a bad thing.
Remember that players are very busy, but they also like to have fun.
If you’ve gone out on a date with them several times, it’s probably because you’re the only person who has asked them out recently.
But if you happen to be their most recent source of fun and entertainment, then it might help you a little bit in the dating department.
This means that once they get tired of seeing you, they’ll stop texting you back.
Don’t be too hard on yourself if you’re only being fun and convenient for them.
And don’t take it personally when they start dating other people. They’ll text you again eventually.
14) They want to keep you on the line for the next time they want to play
Have you wondered why they keep texting you all the time?
It’s hypothetically because they might want to get you ready for your next laugh.
They want to keep you on the line and available until they feel like playing around with you again.
This is why many players text and call you more than two times, sometimes even three or four times in a single day.
If they actually had real feelings for you, they would be interested in seeing your personality, not just your body and a few laughs.
So be real and not in their game.
15) You’ve never replied and this makes them want you even more
You’re a challenge and they like it. They’re texting you back because they want to see if you’ll reply or not.
It’s the silent treatment that makes them curious about your intentions for the first time in their life.
These players are actually trying to find out if you’re a real person or if you’re just going to play along for fun.
But don’t only take my word for it:
On the flip side, they’ll see you as boring and uninteresting if you don’t try anything with them.
It gets to the point where they’ll only contact you a handful of times and then never contact you again.
This is something that happens a lot with players.
16) They want constant validation and attention
This kind of behavior is one of the main reasons players don’t actually want anything serious with you.
They’re only interested in getting a buzz from having someone listening to them speak.
They’re not just looking for a fun time and/or sex.
Players are looking for constant validation and attention, so they’ll try to get as much of this as possible by talking to you and everything around them.
And remember that they can text you even if they’re not alone.
They might be with a group of friends or even on a date, so always be careful when answering these kinds of texts.
17) They live in the moment and don’t think about the future
Think about this for a moment:
Would you want to be trapped with a person who lives in the moment and doesn’t think about the future?
It’s unlikely that you’d choose to date them, right?
Players don’t see their relationships as something that’ll last forever.
They’re most interested in having a good time and living in the present moment, so they won’t try to see things as a serious relationship.
This is why they’ll hide their real intentions from you and they’ll avoid anything that looks like a long-term relationship.
They want to be as carefree as possible, so they’ll do anything to keep their freedom, including destroying other people’s lives.
18) You happen to fit into at least one of their archetypes
This is why players always hit on you.
Your physical appearance, your values, and even your job all frequently correspond to one of their archetypes.
- If you’re a woman, they want you as a mother figure (mama’s girl).
- If you’re a man, they want you as their brother (baby’s boy).
- If you’re a student, they want you as their buddy (class clown).
You get the point.
Most players have a specific archetype in mind when they first contact you, and they’ll keep texting or calling you until they find out if they’ve found the right person to satisfy their needs.
After all, players are people-pleasers who can’t make decisions by themselves.
19) You make them feel better about themselves
It’s important to remember that players are not confident about themselves.
They want to be in an environment where they know exactly how their behavior will influence the person they’re interacting with.
So instead of talking with you, they’ll try to use you as a tool for validation, instead of treating you as a human being and developing a meaningful connection with you.
The thing is, players want to keep their self-esteem as high as possible.
So they’ll keep texting you back because they’re trying to make themselves feel better by making you laugh and smile.
It’s sad because you’ll waste your time with people who don’t deserve you.
20) They’re jealous of how perfect your life is in comparison to theirs
Players always want to be in control of their own lives.
That’s why they’re envious of other people who have something that they don’t have.
Your good fortune will make them feel terrible about themselves, so they’ll try to ruin your day and get what you have by making you text back.
They might also try to make you jealous instead of trying to make you feel bad.
Or they might do something like cheat on you.
They want to feel better about themselves by making other people feel worse.
The only problem with playing this game is that it’s not fair to the people who are being played.
What to do next if you keep getting touched by players
If you’re tired of playing this game, you’re not alone.
The good news is that you don’t have to keep playing it. You can end this text game by doing something about it.
Here are the best 9 things that you can deal with these players.
1) Try to improve yourself and show that you are a mature person with a life
Players know that they’re not the best people in the world, so they’ll try to make you feel inadequate by showing them how perfect your life is.
It’s important to remember that these people are only interested in talking to you for a few minutes of entertainment and validation.
So instead of trying to impress them, improve yourself and show them that you’re a mature person with a lot going on.
They’ll eventually get bored with your life and probably won’t contact you anymore.
2) Try to build a strong foundation of trust
It’s important to develop a strong foundation of trust with these people because they keep using you against other people in order to stay afloat.
They want to manipulate you into being their get-out-of-jail-free card if something bad happens for them.
Instead of letting them use you, learn to build a strong foundation of trust by proving that you can handle yourself and confronting them when they disrespect you.
You’ll be surprised by the positive results you’ll get.
3) Keep your boundaries in mind
Players make you text back because they want to keep their options open.
They’ll even try to push your boundaries and ask you all kinds of personal questions.
Keep your boundaries in mind and avoid talking about the things that you’re not comfortable with.
By answering these questions and exchanging texts with them, you’re giving them a false sense of security.
4) Don’t be too needy
You may think that if you text back, they will be interested in you.
In reality, it’s the opposite because some of them want to take advantage of your neediness and desire for relationships.
If you’re getting tired of talking to them, just stop texting them.
If they get mad, it’s because they’re more interested in your neediness than in you.
5) Learning how to be happy without them
I know it sounds easy, but it’s not.
You may think that if you keep texting them, they will learn to love and respect you.
In reality, it’s the opposite because their need for entertainment and validation will increase over time.
Build yourself up and find a way to be happy without a relationship before expecting these people to commit.
6) Attack them with logic
One of the best ways to stop a player is to attack their logic.
They always want to keep the power in their hands, so you have the upper hand if you attack them from a logical perspective.
Players are not aware that they are doing anything wrong, so you have no other choice but to point out their behavior and how it makes you feel.
Be sure to keep your emotions in check and don’t go off the rails when confronting them.
7) Set your standards higher
You should set your standards higher than the ones that these people offer.
Instead of getting caught up in their drama and being a part of their game, set your standards higher and focus on yourself.
This will make them think twice before contacting you because they’ll realize that you’re not the same person they thought you were.
And they’ll be scared of wasting their time on you.
8) Take control of the conversation every once in a while
You wouldn’t think that these people would be a player, but you have to stop the conversation every once in a while so that you can make them feel insecure.
They like to keep the conversation going, so it’s important to act as if you’re thinking about what they said and don’t give them any attention.
When you do this, they’ll start attacking your self-esteem by showing how vulnerable they are.
This will make you feel bad, but it’s a good feeling because it shows them that they are not in control of the conversation anymore.
9) Cut them loose and find someone who makes you feel wanted
You’ve played this game long enough, so it’s time to cut these people loose.
They’re not worth your time if you’re looking to be a part of their results.
Don’t try to fix the problems in your life. Instead, work on making you feel wanted by others.
You are the best person in the world and deserve everything that life has to offer. One day, they will realize this when you take control of yourself and your own life.
We have covered all the reasons why a player keeps texting you and the ways that you can deal with players.
But if you keep playing this game, they will eventually get the best of you.
They always win by making you feel bad about yourself.
If you’re tired of playing this game, then start improving yourself and don’t get caught up in their manipulation.
To make sure that they stick to their word and stop contacting you entirely, it’s best to keep your boundaries in mind and stay strong in your convictions.
You are the best person in the world and deserve a relationship where you feel protected and validated for who you are on the inside.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.