“The Hero Instinct is a biological drive just like hunger, thirst, and sex. But once this drive is triggered it becomes more powerful than all three combined, which makes it virtually impossible for him to ignore.”
The days of heroes and damsels in distress are long gone.
Surely no modern woman actually needs a man to come and “save” her.
Well, yes and no.
Let me explain:
The hero instinct is a term coined by relationship expert and author James Bauer, in his best-selling book His Secret Obsession.
As this free video explains, the hero instinct is key to unlocking a man’s heart and making it yours.
Bauer also came up with a hero instinct 12-word text that encapsulates his powerful teaching in a short, memorable form that will unlock the secret for you and change everything.
He discovered a secret ingredient to triggering romantic commitment in a man:
Making him feel like a hero.
The hero instinct 12-word text
Triggering the hero instinct is about using phrases to make a man know that you not only appreciate him but that you need him. Even just in small ways in your daily life.
It’s very important to understand the hero instinct 12-word text and really take it to heart, because in our modern age the crucial teaching it unveils has been lost for many people.
I’m not saying all your relationship and romantic problems will disappear into thin air, but I can promise you they’ll get a hell of a lot better.
You’ll understand men and why they behave the way they do in ways you never have before.
You’ll have clarity and – dare I say it – optimism.
The core message of how to do this and why is contained in the hero instinct 12-word text which is in James Bauer’s book.
What’s included in the hero instinct 12-word text?
The hero instinct 12-word text contains the keycode for a successful relationship: straight up.
As someone who’s had amazing relationships wither and die for what seemed like no reason, finding out about the hero instinct was a lifesaver for me.
I thought my past relationships had been going fine, but what I hadn’t noticed was that my man’s inner core was fading away and feeling unneeded and “unheroic.”
It was a big mistake, and one I don’t plan on repeating.
The hero instinct 12-word text is the shortest way possible to cram the whole concept into one data byte.
The core teaching is to let him help you with things: it could be anything from carrying your groceries to taking a look at the car and the strange clicking noise it makes.
My girlfriend had a situation with her husband where just asking him for more help around the house literally restarted their passionless sex life. They say walking under a ladder indoors is bad luck but I wonder what it is when you have sex under one?
Whatever it is, it got their marriage off the rocks and back into a really happy place.
Another central part of the hero instinct is valuing his advice and asking him for help when you’re in a rough situation. I don’t mean being a mess and falling all over him: it’s more like being a little vulnerable, you know? Open up a bit and let him guide you.
He’s going to love that vulnerability and want to protect and care for you and his man hormones will be buzzing around and reaching caveman levels. Let’s just say some old-fashioned romance is in the air.
Author and relationship coach Kristina Marchant has a great opinion about this that I really liked. She points out that you don’t need to be “desperate” to make a man feel needed. Actually, there’s a way to be vulnerable that triggers a man’s deep attraction.
“A soft, caring, feminine woman who can effectively share her feelings and intimate needs with a man will entrap him faster than a spider does a fly. Be open, honest, and available to be loved by him. Bring a softer, more playful energy to the relationship than he’s used to.
Give him sweet kisses, giggle with him in bed, and cry on his shoulder when you’re in pain. Your expressed vulnerability allows him to feel his, which makes him feel safe in the relationship.”
How do you make him feel like a hero?
Bauer doesn’t mean that you have to start a fire and let him rescue you, or clap every time he walks in the room – it’s a little more subtle than that.
But what Bauer is talking about here is key to understanding why a man sticks around or hits the road.
It’s also key to grasping what makes those amazing relationships you see around your work so well.
In some form or another if you see a woman with a guy who’d do anything for her you can be 100% sure she is successful – and repeatedly – triggering his hero instinct.
So how do you do it?
The answer lies in James Bauer’s outstanding book His Secret Obsession, which also reveals the hero instinct 12-word text.
This is like the Da Vinci code for love, and I’m not exaggerating when I say that.
Get his hero instinct, get him
Make a man feel nice and he’ll smile and maybe feel some temporary affection for you.
Make a man feel needed and he’ll fall in love.
This is the secret code behind the hero instinct 12-word text, which reveals the specific ways in which you can trigger that inner hero living inside him.
You don’t need to fake it or “set it up,” either.
You just need to be aware so that you end up getting a hand from him in situations where you could ask for help or just do it yourself.
Once you understand the hero instinct and the attraction it causes inside him you’ll know that getting his help now and then for “manly” things is crucial for your relationship and long-term bond.
And the best way to initiate direct attraction is to make a man feel appreciated and needed for being a man.
When he does manly things that help you out then express your appreciation in conversation, and maybe give him a nice shoulder rub while you’re at it.
No guy ever fell out of love while getting a shoulder rub, guaranteed.
The simple truth
The simple truth contained in the hero instinct 12-word text really worked for me.
The theory isn’t just Bauer’s random opinion, either. It comes out of deep research into evolutionary psychology. Basically, our gender roles aren’t just “made up” or done to oppress people.
They also come from hundreds of thousands of years of evolution and survival.
And when men feel that ancient urge tugging at them it brings up powerful, primordial feelings.
As Science Daily explains:
“Evolutionary psychology is a theoretical approach to psychology that attempts to explain useful mental and psychological traits—such as memory, perception, or language—as adaptations, i.e., as the functional products of natural selection.”
In other words, how we feel and think on a deep level comes out of what helped our ancestors survive. And when you trigger that in a man he won’t just be “into” you, he’ll be willing to do almost anything for you.
Men have to feel needed, appreciated, and vital in order to stimulate their long-term attraction and attachment to you. No matter how beautiful you are the crossover into something more lasting will come when he knows that you need him and that the bond you share is deeper than just surface level.
It’s also so key to boost him in front of his buddies and make it clear to him that what you have means the world to you.
Saying thanks and showing him he’s the best guy for you will stoke his romantic fires big time, but don’t overdo it by lavishing all over him. The crucial feeling you’re going for in this 12-word recipe is making him earn it and really value his time with you.
You want to show him that you need him but also that you’re a high-value woman whose trust and admiration needs to be earned one step at a time. It’s perfectly fine to be a little playful about this too since he’ll be turned on by the fact that you’re testing his masculinity and seeing if he’s “up” to the challenge.
If you’ve been having bedroom issues you’ll notice that triggering his hero instinct also gets him “up” in other ways as well.
What type of relationship is helped most by triggering the hero instinct?
The great news is that the hero instinct helps people in all types of relationships. If you’re just starting out on dating this guy or you’re ten years into a marriage with kids it’s going to work wonders either way.
Whether you’re in the starting out time where you still aren’t 100% sure if this guy is into you or you’ve already traveled around the world and committed your lives to each other, this secret ingredient that he needs to fall in love and stay in love remains the same.
Like I said, the hero instinct has helped several friends of mine, and reading the online testimonials has also been very impressive, so I highly recommend trying it out.
Even for relationships that are having issues or attempting reconciliation after a breakup, the hero instinct can do a lot of good.
Open communication and having disagreements can actually be healthy for your relationship if you work through it. And keeping the hero instinct as the backbone will serve you well.
As long as your guy knows how you feel and why then your communication lines will stay open and the love will keep flowing.
As therapist Dr. Laura Bokar of the Fox Valley institute puts it:
“This means showing empathy for your partner’s situation. Let your partner know that you appreciate the experiences he or she is having and that you consider them valid, even if you don’t agree on a point. Take responsibility for what your partner might blame you for. It takes strength to apologize – but is it better to be right or to have a healthy relationship? Compliment your partner on his or her ability to make their needs known.”
Putting the hero instinct into action
Putting the 12 words into practice in my own dating life brought results, so that’s all I can say is that it really worked for me. I have a couple of friends who also read up on the hero instinct and said it started to make things click in their love life too, so it sounds like I’m not alone.
I used to look at my relationship like an obstacle course.
How do I fix this problem or get over that hurdle?
How do I make him feel relaxed but also turned on?
And so on.
Now I look at my relationship as a naturally flowing river.
I send out love and appreciation with the rising sun and that’s what I get back when the sun goes down.
Putting the hero instinct into action hasn’t been an “academic” or brain-based thing. It all made sense to me from the start on an instinctive level.
It was just that I’d somehow forgotten it in the bustle of busy modern life and my own upbringing where I was raised to believe that women should be fully independent and never ask men for help or be “dependent” on them.
I understand this reaction, particularly in response to men who mistreat women or try to run their lives. But in a healthy relationship I’ve been able to see how leaning on my man has actually been a good thing.
Let me change that: it’s been an amazing thing.
I hope James Bauer has a great relationship or marriage because he deserves it. The hero instinct and the hero instinct 12-word text have changed my life and the future is looking bright.
If you want to learn more about the 12-word text, and how to trigger the hero instinct in your man, watch this excellent free video.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.