Will I ever get a girlfriend?
You may never get a girlfriend if all you do is hide in your room, skip family functions and avoid social situations with girls.
SO, how will I get a girlfriend?
Well, worry not. Here are 11 tips to do to easily get a girlfriend.
1) Take off that guy face!
Think of your face as a billboard. The billboard’s default setting is “brooding.”
So, if you want a girl to think you’re friendly, approachable, and attractive, try putting on a smile.
If you want her to think you’re wealthy, make sure to have a nice car.
Ideally, when girls see you from afar, they take note of your face: does he look sad? Is he in the mood for a joke? Is he standing there jawing at someone or staring at himself in the mirror?
Most of us aren’t born with what psychologists call “male gender schema”- the instinctive tendency to act in certain ways as boys and in other ways as men.
We learn it from other people and cultural institutions: through tutors and coaches, teachers, parents, the media, and most of all, other boys.
So if you want a female to say yes to dinner, stop scowling and start smiling.
The same goes if you want a male to see you as a friend. There are only so many times you can ask someone how they’re doing before they start avoiding your calls.
I have never seen anyone get turned off by someone with a big friendly smile.
You can almost see an invisible script in the subconscious mind of a woman that says, “Oh, he’s friendly. That’s good. I’ll like him, even if his face doesn’t do something for me.”
So smile as much as you think is appropriate and maybe even more.
At the very least, you’ll look like someone with a good attitude.
2) Make eye contact (but don’t stare!)
Many guys are afraid of eye contact, but it’s an important part of showing yourself as a guy who’s interested in getting to know someone else, not just staying home and gaming all night.
Women tend to feel more comfortable around men who make eye contact and hold it for a beat or two longer than usual.
Make sure to watch her body language for signs of discomfort before you actually make eye contact.
As you look in her eyes, she might shift her gaze downward. Or she may look down, then up, to make eye contact.
Most of all, don’t stare! That makes people uncomfortable and is rude.
Instead of locking eyes for an uncomfortable amount of time, glance at the corner of her eye or even slightly above or below it- a less direct way to catch someone’s attention.
If you notice that she’s fidgeting, squirming, and trying to avoid your gaze, just look away and smile, because women are much more comfortable with guys whose faces do something for them, too.
So don’t stare at her too long. If you do, you may give her the impression that you think she’s an object to be admired; but she’s not.
She’s a human being. She likes people who make eye contact, not those who are too afraid to look at her.
3) Be confident (but not cocky)
If there is one word that women hate, it’s “cocky” (or more accurately, the “creep factor” that comes with it). Cockiness is a trait that men often mistake for confidence.
But they are different. Confidence is the feeling of being certain of your abilities. Cockiness is the expression of self-worth in a way that makes others feel uncomfortable.
So if you want a girl to think you’re confident, go for confidence over cockiness.
During the initial stages of dating, confidence is crucial; so there are few things as important as being confident-even in situations where you already feel great.
If you’re not confident, talk about how great you think you are, because that can be difficult for anyone.
So make your confidence seem genuine, not forced or forced in any way.
And don’t brag about things you feel aren’t impressive.
Example: “My car has 125k miles on it,” or “I used to walk everywhere until I moved here and now I ride my bicycle everywhere.”
That’s not impressive. But talking about how you once boxed professionally isn’t necessarily bragging.
If you really are a boxer and she finds that out later, that’s great, but if you talk about boxing and then she finds out later that you were a boxer, it is embarrassing.
So don’t talk about things that aren’t impressive or important to the conversation at hand.
Neither of those things is impressive for most people. But if you’re confident enough to feel proud of them, then tell her about it!
4) Be funny and/or irreverent
Need a way to make yourself seem fun, friendly, and approachable?
Or just to show that you don’t take yourself too seriously?
Then be funny and/or irreverent.
A little bit of humor helps break the ice between two people who are both shy or unsure of how to start a conversation.
And a little bit of irreverence shows that you don’t take yourself too seriously, which is a good trait for any guy to have.
Be mindful of your tone, though.
There’s an old saying that goes something like this: “In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.”
So start off light and then work up to the full-on humor or irreverence that you want to use.
Don’t go from a serious face to a smile, open your arms and shout, “Woo-hoo! Come on in here, woman! Let’s dance together!”
If you make her feel awkward or uncomfortable, she probably won’t be available for future dates.
So approach humor slowly with the goal of finding common ground.
Common ground is the only foundation that works when you’re trying to build something like a relationship with another person.
It is something everyone experiences, so it is also a good way to get to know her.
Even if she doesn’t expect you to be funny, it can be rewarding for you to find a way to connect with anyone that you’re interested in!
So if an easy joke or irreverent comment just comes naturally, don’t be afraid to laugh and make her laugh along with you.
5) Listen and talk to girls (but don’t interrupt!)
Listen more than you talk.
Always listen to what she says, without interrupting.
It’s not rude if you’re trying to get more information about what she’s saying, or asking clarifying questions.
But the way you reply is important, too. Don’t talk on and on about “your story.”
Ask her about her life and try to focus the discussion on her interests, not yours.
What do you have in common with the woman you’re interested in?
That is the key to a good conversation.
Don’t forget to listen to her ideas and thoughts, too. If you’re interested in someone, it’s very important to let them know that.
You don’t want her to feel like she’s just another person in a sea of people, who you’re paying attention to for a few seconds.
You need to make her feel like there’s something about her that makes you want to talk about her, not something about you that interests you.
6) Be relatable
Your best chance of getting a girl to like you is to be relatable.
This doesn’t mean being obvious or pretending to be someone you aren’t: it means knowing what she cares about, being able to speak at least a few of those words, and thinking like she does (or at least trying).
Finding common ground on her interests and values means that she won’t see you as a complete stranger or just a guy in a bar.
She’ll think that there’s something special about you, and if you can keep it up and make it work, she might start thinking that there are other special things about you.
So ask her what her favorite things are or what she thinks is important in life. Then take an interest in those things, too.
When you’re talking with her, try to ask her questions about things she cares about.
Don’t just talk about your own interests, but also look for other things that she’ll find interesting.
If she isn’t interested in what you have to say, ask questions about what she finds interesting.
That way you can show that you’re interested and make it seem like a conversation between two equal people.
7) Be nice to everyone
Be nice to everyone.
If you pay attention to your actions, you can see how much we all have in common:
We all have feelings, we all want things from life, and we’re all trying.
So be nice to everyone, even people who don’t seem like they’d be open to meeting up with you.
Especially with a girl you like.
It is completely fine to be nice to random strangers and people you don’t like for no particular reason.
But it’s not fine to be mean or rude to somebody if you have their best interests in mind.
Be respectful, open, encouraging, and understanding toward everyone. You will meet people who care about things and will appreciate that kind of attitude in a person.
If she’s sitting at the bar with her friends, do not let that stop you from approaching her and talking with her.
If you want to be a girl’s friend, you don’t have to ask her out first.
You can take the initiative in other ways, such as arranging a double date with mutual friends and genuinely complimenting her whenever you see her.
Girls love when guys do this. These things make you more likable and put the two of you in a friend zone.
But if things go well, she might “awaken” one day and start to see you as more than a friend.
When this happens, she’ll be able to recognize that you are interested in her and want to date her.
8) Talk to people
Now, listen to me.
Talking to people may have been one of the most fundamental and important skills in our evolution as a Homosapien.
From the earliest days of our species, we survived by interacting with each other.
We were born with a need to connect with others—with a need to be cared for, liked, and have an identity.
Everyone needs to feel wanted, accepted, and important.
This need can be met by connecting with others and talking to them.
Whether it is a girl or just another guy, talking to people builds connections with them.
It serves as a bridge between you and the person you’re talking with.
So if you want a girlfriend, you need to converse with people.
That is one way for you to meet your soon-to-be girlfriend. So talk to people.
Talk to them about their jobs, hobbies, lives, and dreams.
If you’re interested in a girl and you’re talking to her, ask her questions about things she cares about.
Tell jokes that relate to what she’s saying or thinks.
And if she’s not interested in talking with you or sees that it’s going nowhere, try complimenting her on something that was said just then and let it sit there a while before breaking the conversation again.
You’ll never know what a conversation can do.
9) Do good things for the girl you like
Doing things that make girls feel good is another way to build connections with women.
Girls love being complimented, told that they look nice, or showered with attention.
These are things a lot of guys feel uncomfortable doing, but if you’re appealing to the right kind of woman, it won’t be a problem.
If you want a girl to like you, treat her well.
If she needs help carrying something heavy, don’t make her feel like you might be annoyed or think it’s too much trouble to help.
Help her out, smile, and say “thank you” when she thanks you.
Try to be a guy who does the things he’s supposed to without being rude about it or trying to take advantage of them.
She’ll likely appreciate it a lot.
10) Let her know that you like her too
You’re not going to get a woman if you ignore her or don’t seem interested in her.
If you give the impression that she’s not necessary to your life, she’ll eventually stop caring about you or start dating someone else.
But if you can show that she matters to you, she’ll see you as a valuable person and pay more attention to you.
So tell her about the things that are important to your life…exactly what it means for her to be a part of those things.
And if she’s interested in the same things that you like, let her know this by asking her what she likes or talking with her about the interests that you share.
You’ll make a good impression on her and tell her that you like her.
In turn, she’ll feel more comfortable in your presence and be more likely to give you the chance of being more than friends.
And if this goes well, you might even go so far as to make a move on her.
Then, good for you!
11) Be careful and respect the girl you like
I know it takes courage to go up to a girl you like or ask her out, but if you’re not careful about it, it’ll be a disaster.
I suggest that before you make your move, take a look at your relationship with her and think about what she’s doing for you and how she makes you feel.
Are you getting to see her or spending time with her?
Or is she always busy with other people and putting aside time for you?
If the second one, don’t insist on asking her out.
If you try too hard to make a move, she’ll be turned off by the attention and likely assume that you’re just not that into her.
When it comes to making a move, less is more.
Even if you’re friends with her, you’re still a guy and she’s still a girl.
Just be nice and show respect for her in all of your interactions, especially when she talks to you and when she makes you feel important. She’ll be a lot more likely to accept and appreciate your request for a date if she sees that you care and respect her.
And she’ll feel more comfortable and get to know you if she feels that she can trust you.
That’s why it’s so important to build relationships with women.
And that’s it!
Having a girlfriend is not as hard as you think.
It is worthwhile to spend time with girls to get to know them and learn what makes them tick, but it’s not hard if you approach girls without being reckless or disrespectful.
And the good news is that there are lots of good, nice guys out there who have had great success in the dating world.
If you do the things on this list, you will be on your way to building a beautiful relationship with the woman of your dreams.
Now go and make her yours.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.