“You’ll regret this” is the most frequent thing every woman says to her ex after ending a relationship.
But then she cools off and asks herself, “Will he really regret hurting me?”
The end of a relationship can be devastating and while your heart is breaking, it’s only natural to wonder if your ex is hurting too and whether he regrets causing you pain.
When the moment comes and the reality of the situation hits him, here are 16 big signs that he regrets hurting you.
Let’s get started:
1) He makes an effort to know what’s going on in your life
A sure sign that he regrets hurting you is the fact that he keeps in touch after the breakup.
He wants to know what’s going on in your life.
He’s interested in how you’re doing and what you’re up to.
He’ll ask about your work, your family, your friends, your pets, etc…
In a nutshell:
He’s not ready to let go and wants to have you in his life.
He’s worried about you wants to make sure that you’re doing ok because he still cares about you.
2) He’s jealous of your male friends
He sees every guy you talk to as a threat, as a rival.
He’ll ask you, “Who was that guy I saw you with the other day?”
He’ll even be jealous of your male friends who you never thought of romantically.
It’s as if he still hasn’t come to terms with the fact that you are no longer together and you’re a free woman.
He’ll be very nosy and try to figure out if you’re dating someone new. He’ll ask a bunch of questions like:
- “So I heard you’re seeing someone, what’s his name?”
- “What is he, a lawyer or something?”
He’ll even make snide remarks like:
- “I heard he’s pretty short.”
- “What kind of name is that?”
This is because he thinks he’s way better than anyone else you might date and he wants you to know it.
Basically, he’ll act like he has the right to know about your private life and judge the guys you’re dating.
So it all adds up to this:
He’s jealous of your guy friends and of anyone you go out with because regrets hurting you and may have some unresolved feelings about the breakup.
He can’t hide the regret of losing you.
3) He realizes that he should have protected you instead of hurt you
Once you make him realize how much he hurt you, you’ll trigger his hero instinct. He’ll realize that his job was to keep you safe and not be the reason for your pain – and he’ll deeply regret hurting you.
You see, the hero instinct is a new theory in the relationship world that’s causing quite a stir.
Coined by relationship expert James Bauer, this fascinating concept finally explains how men really think and feel in relationships.
And it’s something most women have never even heard of.
According to James Bauer, men don’t actually need a lot to feel content in their relationships. To most people’s surprise, it has nothing to do with sex.
You see, men have innate drivers. These are natural responses that they’re not even aware of. But when a woman comes along and triggers them, it causes a powerful response.
The result is a man who loves harder, commits wholeheartedly, and truly dedicates himself to the relationship.
So, how can you trigger your man’s hero instinct?
Well, you certainly don’t need to act like a damsel in distress or buy him a cape. It’s quite simple, actually.
All you have to do is give your man certain signals that make him feel needed in the relationship. These allow him to step to the plate and feel fulfilled in his role as your partner.
And these signals are revealed in this simple and genuine video by James Bauer.
The truth is, once you understand how the hero instinct works, there’s no telling what heights your relationship can reach.
So if you want to give your man what he truly wants from you, make sure to check out James Bauer’s excellent video. In it, he reveals the exact texts and phrases you can use straight away.
Here’s a link to the free video again.
4) He loves to reminisce about the past
He loves to reminisce about the good old days.
He’ll constantly talk about the past and ask you if you remember all the fun times you had together.
He’ll want to relive the past and will tell you stories about how he used to take you out, how he used to buy you stuff, or how he used to love to hang out with you.
Basically, he wants to go back in time and “remember” what it was like when your relationship was going well.
He’ll even tell you that he misses the old days and wants them back because they were better than now.
The bottom line is this:
He regrets hurting you and needs to remember the good times that you had and to remind you that it wasn’t all bad when you were together.
By bringing up the good times, he feels like he’s balancing things out – like the good excuses for the hurt that he caused.
5) He texts you about trivial things
He keeps randomly texting you.
- He texts you about the weather
- He asks you how your day was
- He asks you to share a good memory
- He asks you about your day
- He’ll tell you to check out his new car
- He’ll tell you he got a new haircut
- He’ll even send you random pictures of his cat
It’s as if he’s trying to get back in touch with who he used to be, the good partner before he “abandoned” you.
He wants to feel connected again before he moves on.
He knows how much it hurts when a relationship ends. So he wants to make sure that things are ok.
The bottom line is this:
He regrets hurting you so he feels like he has to “keep up” with your life.
He wants you to see him as a caring friend so he’ll inquire about your life.
He wants to be in constant contact and to be your friend.
Being there for you is a way for him to feel less bad about hurting you.
6) He keeps sending you apologetic texts
He’s trying to make it up to you.
He wants to make things right so that he doesn’t feel as bad about what happened in the past.
He wants to apologize for hurting you and make things better.
By sending you apologetic texts, he feels like he can take back his mistakes and be a better person for the future.
- He sends you a text saying “I’m sorry”
- He sends you a text saying “I miss you”
- He sends you a text saying “I’m sorry for hurting you”
- He sends you a text about how he can’t believe that he did that to you and that he’s so sorry
The bottom line is this:
He regrets hurting you and he wants to fix what went wrong. He knows he did wrong and he’s trying to show that he’s sorry so that you’ll forgive him.
You can feel it when someone is trying to be sincere and make up for the hurtful things they did.
7) He starts to drink to soothe the pain
The breakup has affected him more than he thought it would.
Maybe he left you for a younger woman. Maybe he wasn’t ready to commit.
But now, the guilt is killing him.
He starts to drink to soothe the pain of the breakup and the guilt of knowing how much he hurt you.
By starting to drink, he’s trying to forget about his guilt.
He feels like if he can numb the pain and forget about you, then he won’t feel as bad about what happened.
He knows that it’s not good for him but he just wants to ease his mind.
The bottom line is this:
He regrets hurting you and he thinks that alcohol is the only way to feel better – that if he keeps on drinking, it won’t hurt as much anymore.
He feels guilty about drinking but doesn’t think that there is anything else left for him – it’s an easy way for him to cope with how bad things are.
You see, he wants you to know how sorry he but he doesn’t know how to tell you.
And he doesn’t want you thinking badly of him anymore, he knows he screwed up.
8) He gets into bar fights with random men
The breakup is really messing with his head.
He feels so bad about how he hurt you and doesn’t know how to make things right.
He feels a lot of different things: anger, regret, shame…
But because he doesn’t know how to deal with his feelings, he gets into bar fights with random men.
The fights are his unconscious attempt to punish himself for what he did to you.
He regrets hurting you so much that he’s willing to cause himself physical pain to make up for his past mistakes.
9) He turns to you for support
He’s trying to forget about how badly he hurt you and how much he regrets it.
He wants to feel better, but nothing works. So, he turns to you.
He knows that you’re the only thing that will make him feel better.
He needs you to tell him that he’s not a bad person.
He needs you to tell him that he’s still the same person he was before.
He needs you to tell him that everything is going to be okay.
He needs you to forgive him.
The truth is, understanding men is much easier than most women realize – we tend to overcomplicate things a lot.
I learned this from relationship expert Carlos Cavallo. He’s one of the world’s leading experts on relationship psychology and what men want from a relationship.
In this free video, he’ll explain everything you need to know about how to get through to your man.
10) His social media is sad
He’ll try to pretend that everything is ok by posting pictures of himself and his friends having fun, but he won’t be able to fool you.
He’s also posting sad emo songs and romantic classics on his Facebook wall.
His Instagram is full of pictures of dark forests and old graveyards.
But wait, there’s more!
He’s writing poetry and quoting philosophers on his Twitter feed.
What’s going on?
Here’s the deal:
The guilt of hurting you has taken over his conscience.
Though he may think he’s moved on after your breakup, he hasn’t.
He obviously needs to apologize for hurting you in order to get closure.
11) He wants to be friends
He doesn’t want to stop being friends with you.
He wants to talk about the breakup and how horrible it was for both of you.
He wants to explain himself and make things right with you.
He wants you to be able to ask him questions about what happened and he wants to answer them honestly.
He wants you to tell him what hurt you the most so that he can say sorry.
He regrets hurting you, would love to make it up to you and to be your friend.
12) He’ll have a hard time saying anything when you meet in person
When you meet in person to have coffee and talk, he’s very quiet.
He even has a hard time making small talk.
He acts as if he’s uncomfortable in his own skin – and he is.
Here’s the thing:
He feels so bad about how you two left things and he regrets hurting you so much that he feels embarrassed.
He wants to make things right, but he just doesn’t know where to begin.
He wants to explain himself and make things right, but he’s afraid of making you angry or hurt again.
He might be thinking:
“I can’t act normal because I’ve hurt you so badly.”
“If I say the wrong thing, you’ll get angry or upset and I’ll regret it.”
“I just don’t know what to do, so I’m going to be quiet.”
He regrets hurting you and is afraid to talk in case he hurts you even more.
13) He’ll get his friends to check up on you
Turns out that he may not feel comfortable reaching out to you just yet but he wants to know what you’re up to.
He needs to make sure that everything is ok.
He’ll have his friends check up on you.
They’ll send you friendly messages. They’ll call you up and make small talk.
They may even come to your house unannounced and say that they were just in the neighborhood.
What’s the bottom line?
He regrets hurting you and isn’t sure how to talk to you again.
He’s worried about you so he asks his friends to check up on you and make sure that you’re doing ok.
14) He looks at this breakup as something temporary
When you broke up he didn’t think it would be forever.
For him, it was a temporary separation.
He thought that you needed a break from each other, to breathe, to experience other things, maybe see other people. But he always thought that you’d end up getting back together.
He seems confused. He doesn’t understand why you’re not getting back together.
Not only does he regret hurting you, but he also regrets breaking up with you in the first place.
He’s worried you might be seeing other people.
He’s scared he’s lost you forever.
15) He makes a real effort to change
He realizes that he’s hurt you and he wants to make things better.
He finally admits to himself that he’s the reason that you broke up.
But here’s the kicker:
He decides to change! He thinks that if he works on himself that he’ll become a better man and that you’ll take him back.
He’ll make a real effort to change.
- He’ll stop drinking and go to meetings
- He’ll stop gambling
- He’ll be more open and honest about his feelings
- He’ll be more patient
- He’ll meditate and learn to control his temper
- He’ll learn to cook and clean
Basically, whatever vice he had, he’ll workion getting rid of it.
Now it’s up to you:
Ask yourself if you want to get back together with him. Do you trust that he’s really changed? Do you think that things will be different the next time around?
I mentioned this fascinating concept earlier: the hero instinct. When a man’s inner hero is triggered, he’s more likely to regret his mistakes and work on becoming a better man.
Just by knowing the right things to say to him, you’ll open a part of him that no woman has ever reached before.
And the easiest way to do so is by watching this free video by James Bauer. In it, he’ll reveal simple phrases and texts you can use to make your man truly yours.
Here’s a link to the excellent video again.
16) He tries to get back together
Finally, if he tries to get back together with you it’s a clear sign that he regrets having hurt you.
He thinks that if he gets back together with you, things will be different. He thinks that if he can just get back together with you, then he’ll be able to fix things and make you happy again.
He’ll call and text you.
He’ll leave little notes and gifts at your door.
He’ll surprise you by showing up at your house unannounced.
He hopes that if he can just get back together with you, then everything will go back to the way it was before.
It’s up to you now.
Consider what this could mean for you. Are you better off with or without this man in your life?
What makes a man regret losing you?
Have you ever lost a loved one and felt regret?
If so, you’re not alone. The process of losing a loved one can be incredibly painful.
It’s natural to feel sadness and hurt.
We’ve had a look at the signs that he regrets hurting you, but what exactly makes a man regret losing you?
Here’s a list of things that can bring on such feelings.
If he’s been single for a while, you may find him regretting losing you.
He misses you and wants to get back together.
Without you, life just isn’t the same.
- He misses waking up next to you
- He misses drinking coffee with you before work
- He misses coming home to you
- He misses hanging out with you
And you get the drift…
His life is empty without you. He’s alone.
He was so used to having you there that suddenly there’s a hole where you used to be.
His loneliness brings him to the realization that he regrets losing you.
Other women just don’t measure up to you
Maybe you broke up because he didn’t want to be tied down.
Maybe he thought he was too young to be with just one girl and that he should check out the dating scene, see what he’s missing.
It gets better:
He broke up with you to date other girls only to find out that you’re the best thing that ever happened to him.
He’s tried dating other girls but he always finds fault with them:
- This one’s not funny
- This one can’t cook
- This one dresses like a slut
- This one doesn’t like his friends
And the list goes on and on.
None of the girls he goes out with seem to measure up to you.
In a nutshell:
He regrets losing you because you’re better than all the other women out there combined.
The realization that he messed up
There’s no cure for love, but there are plenty of cures for regret.
We all make mistakes. Sometimes we do things that we wish we hadn’t.
If a man regrets doing something that he did to you, it’s likely that he feels a bit embarrassed about it.
It might have taken him a while but now he’s finally come to realize that he messed up your relationship.
Perhaps he realized that he wasn’t treating you very well. Maybe he realized that he didn’t appreciate all the things that you did for him.
Maybe it finally dawned on him that he didn’t pay enough attention or give you the respect that you deserve.
And the bottom line is:
He hates himself for how he acted. He wishes he had realized how his behavior was impacting your relationship in time to save it because he regrets losing you.
He’s come to realize how much you mean to him and how much he misses you.
The sense of finality
He didn’t realize at first just what the breakup really meant.
But now the sense of finality hits him:
- He knows that he’s not going to change your mind.
- He knows that you’re not coming back to him.
- He understands that it’s really over.
He’s made his bed and now he has to lie in it.
The realization that you’re not going to get back together makes him regret losing you.
Seeing you find someone better
Even though you’ve been apart for a while now, it still comes as a shock to him to see you with someone else. Someone better.
He sees this guy as better looking than him, more successful in his career, more charming, and – this gets him the most – better at making you happy.
Of course he wants you to be happy, he just wishes he had been able to do so.
He regrets losing you once he sees that you’ve moved on to greener pastures.
Being unable to stop thinking about you
He’s been thinking about you a lot lately. He can’t stop thinking about you.
It’s as though he can’t get it out of his head. He doesn’t understand why he keeps thinking about you, but he just can’t seem to shake the thoughts.
Every time he thinks he’s moved on, suddenly, there you are again in his thoughts.
This leaves him no choice but to think of all the things that could have been if only the two of you had never split up.
He regrets losing you because he can’t seem to get your image out of his head. The thought of not seeing your face again makes him sadder than anything else ever did.
The realization that he also lost his best friend
He realizes that you’re the best friend he’s ever had. That you were his best friend, his confidant, and his rock.
And now he’s just realizing how much of a loss it is to not have that person in his life anymore.
He regrets losing you because now he can’t talk to you anymore or hang out with you like before.
He misses talking to you and hanging out with you because he knows that those times are gone for good.
He misses being able to tell you about things, ask for advice, and be there for you.
He misses the intimacy that they once shared.
He realizes that the closeness you once shared is gone forever and this makes him regret losing you.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.
The above link will give you $50 off your first session - an exclusive offer for Love Connection readers.