You’ve landed on this article because you’ve just gone through a horrid break-up and want to know “will he fall in love with me again?”
Breakups can be torture and there are thousands of possible reasons why you broke it off.
Regardless, if you want to know if it’s possible to get him to fall in love with you again.
The simple answer: It’s definitely possible.
While such a daunting task may seem far-fetched, it’s not. All you need to do is follow the steps and take note of the signs!
Here’s the scoop…
Get your man back in these 7 steps
There might be several reasons why your relationship ended, that’s not important right now. What is important is getting him back. Here’s how you do it:
1) Analyze what went wrong
If you are wondering how to make someone fall in love with you again, then you should start by applying logic.
Something went wrong, forcing you to take another route. Since your relationship was at odds, you should spend time thinking about what went wrong. This is real love advice.
Why did it happen? How did it happen?
The only way to reignite that spark of love is to be aware of these points and begin taking steps to resolve them.
Otherwise, you would find yourself in a far worse position than last time.
2) Ask yourself, why do I want him back?
To successfully make someone fall in love with you again, you must be clear on why.
You need to list rational reasons why you want to get back together with this person.
What attracted you to them, did you have a deep connection, or was it merely physical? (If the case, abort mission!)
If your rationale extends beyond the superficial and shallow, then this is a good reason to pursue him again.
3) Make sure he is still single
Once you’ve made your decisions, it’s a good idea to find out if he is even available first.
I mean, you don’t want to look like an idiot, trying to get him to fall back in love with you when he is in another relationship. It is possible, but we need a whole nother article for that.
So, do some digging on social media, ask your friends to help you get intel, and practice discretion.
You won’t want them knowing your intentions quite yet.
4) Initiate contact
Once you’ve done the groundwork, the next step is to initiate contact with him.
Stick to sending a text or using social media because a phone call could throw him off-kilter.
It’s a good idea to drop a message on a day where you have a good excuse to message him, (bonus points if you can message him on his birthday!)
Once you get a response, make sure that your tone is neutral, and if he happens to call, stay calm.
Remember, you are communicating because you’re trying to build a friendship.
You can’t rush through this step of the process and it might take some time before you have an actual plan to meet.
Don’t rush into an in-person meeting with him until you feel the time is right.
5) Meet at a new spot
Although it might seem like a good idea to meet up at your favorite spot, it’s not.
You’re starting fresh and you don’t want to be reminded of the past or invoke any bitter memories.
Choose a nice vibey spot with a great atmosphere that allows you to be together but, also, still can talk in private.
6) Bring up happy memories in a subtle manner.
So you’re out enjoying a pleasant evening with your man. He showed up and here the two of you are, just like the good old days.
With that said, don’t be tempted to delve into the past.
Keep the conversation neutral but also, talk about some of the happy experiences you’ve had together.
In doing so, you’ll be hinting at a reunion and hopefully, your man will be on the same wavelength as you.
Remember, these initial meetings are meant to build your friendship.
As much as you want to, don’t throw yourself at him. It will scream desperation and he is likely to run in the opposite direction.
One casual meeting usually doesn’t mean that things are back on. You’re going to have to persevere and put in some more effort if you want him to fall in love with you again.
With that said, without appearing desperate make an effort to space your meetings. Plan a couple of hookups and be sure to space them out evenly.
Every weekend is overkill while once per month is too little. Try meeting up every alternative weekend to allow some breathing space.
As the saying goes, absence makes the heart grow fonder, so you’ll want your man to be eager to see you.
How can I tell if he’s falling in love with me again?
Ok, so you’ve gone through all the steps above and you’re now starting to wonder, “Is he falling in love with me again?” Is it working?
Men can be so hard to read at times but thankfully, there are a few key behaviors that can point you in the right direction to help you determine if he is falling in love with you again.
1) “Listen” to his eyes
There is a huge difference between the look of a man who is in love vs. the look of a man who is simply interested.
When two people are in love and they make eye contact, the feeling is intense.
It’s almost as if you are communicating your love using only your eyes.
That said, some guys tend to feel vulnerable when you catch them staring at you or, out of the corner of your eye.
Also, be sure to pay close attention to where your man is looking.
Your eyes are windows to the soul and you can bet your bottom dollar that if he keeps looking into your eyes, he’s falling in love with you again.
However, if your man’s eyes dart back and forth between your cleavage and other parts of your body, he’s lusting after you.
You’re looking for a good balance of both here.
2) He tries to make you happy
Another telltale sign of a man falling in love with you is that he will put in every effort to bring you as much happiness as possible.
He will go out of his way to put a smile on your face and make you laugh.
Men commonly display their feelings via their actions.
He might go out of his way to find the perfect gift for you, even if there’s no reason to buy you a gift.
Your favorite perfume, flowers, chocolates, you name it, he will show you how much you mean to him if he’s interested in keeping you happy.
3) He enjoys your company
If your man starts initiating plans to spend more time with you, it’s a great sign that he is falling in love with you.
If this behavior carries on over time you can take this as a definite sign that his feelings for you have been reignited.
Don’t make the mistake of dropping everything else just to spend time with him, maintain a healthy balance.
If he makes time for you in his life and is shifting around appointments to get to see you, he values you.
4) He shows you that he’s thinking about you
If your man is sending you text messages and calling you to check-in, this is a huge indicator that he is falling in love.
You’re constantly on his mind and he will reach out to you to let you know. Also, he might surprise you with a visit.
5) PDA (Public Displays of Affection)
If he’s physically affectionate with you, his feelings go deeper than the surface.
Men adore affection (more so when they’re in love) and no, not just the sexual type of affections you’re thinking about!
When you’re out, he is not shy to hold your hand, put his arm around you, and pull you closer for a snuggle.
These manly gestures are a declaration that the two of you are a couple and it is a big sign that he’s falling in love with you again.
Also, if your man makes a fuss over you on social media by posting pictures of the two of you together, it shows that he isn’t afraid to make it obvious.
He will make an effort to include you in his posts and will interact with what you post on social media.
6) He goes out of his way for you
A man that goes out of his way to do things for you (without you asking) is definitely showing signs that he’s falling in love.
It can be driving to the next town to get your favorite ice cream or fixing up that troublesome cupboard hinge, it doesn’t matter.
He is showing that he wants to please you and he is showing you that he will do whatever it takes to make you happy.
Just like us women, men have a natural inclination to do what it takes to make things better for the people they care about.
So, if your man is going to the ends of the earth to please you, it’s a very big and positive sign that he is falling head over heels for you again.
7) He listens to what you have to say
Many men get a bad reputation for being poor listeners and I’m sure like most you’ve experienced moments where you’re talking to someone who’s not hearing what you say.
This is a huge one. Men who only want to get into your pants are notoriously bad at listening. On the other hand, a man that takes the time to listen to you and more importantly hear you is a keeper.
If your man displays a willingness to listen, it’s a big indicator that his feelings for you are more than just mere attraction.
8) His plans include you
If your man talks to you about plans, whether you’d like to move cities, have kids, or get a puppy, it’s a huge sign that he’s showing an interest in taking things further.
He’s revealing to you that he’s serious enough and wants to be certain that you two are 100 percent compatible.
Listen to the words he uses. If he uses “we” a lot, this is a good sign that he is including you in his plans.
When he’s discussing future plans and uses words like we and us, there’s a good chance that you form part of the plan and is another good indication that he’s falling for you again.
9) He reveals personal details about himself and his life
A man that’s falling in love with you again will reveal intimate details about his life to you. Whether it’s his deepest fears, his aspirations, or his biggest regrets, he’s showing you that he trusts you.
Trust is a huge factor in relationships so if he’s sharing these nuggets with you, it’s for good reason. He’s falling in love with you again. Without a doubt.
10) You make him laugh
Does your man laugh at your jokes or at some of the things you say?
Do you find the same things hilariously funny and burst out in fits of laughter together? Also, does the sound of your laugh trigger his laugh?
If you’ve answered yes, this is a huge sign that he’s falling in love with you again.
Couples who can laugh and have fun together emit strong chemistry.
Humor is an important ingredient in any happy relationship and the more of it you have, the better off you’ll be.
Points to ponder before rushing in
Many people who have gotten back together can attest to the success of second chances. It is possible and; chances are; with a renewed sense of vigor and clarity, you guys will make it.
However, there are a few considerations to make before you reunite:
1) Baby steps
Ok, I know how difficult it is. Now that you’re back with him, you’re eager to jump right in, devote your life and slap a label on it.
The dates, the texts, and the sex. It’s all very exciting but before you start filling your Instagram feed and scheduling double dates, take a moment to slow down.
There’s no hand guide when it comes to how fast or how slow you should take things but, remember, that you need to take the time to figure out what you both really want.
Getting a second chance means playing open cards and putting your heart on your sleeve.
You and your man need to both clarify your expectations and be completely honest about what it is that you want.
Perhaps something was missing from your relationship the first time around that your partner is now able to fulfill.
Asking each other important questions and getting honest answers to these questions is important in determining the success of your second time around.
However, if your values and goals don’t align, it’s unlikely that they will this time around.
You might love him and want him to desperately fall in love with you again but if he’s happy living in his mom’s basement and is okay with working at McDonalds, you’re not going to change that.
If you accept him the way he is and you’re ok with his complacency, that’s another story.
2) It’s a new chapter, not a sequel
Time and circumstance and experiences can change us.
You might have dated previously but a second chance means that you will have to get to know one another again.
It’s not possible to have a “clean slate” or a “fresh start” with someone you’ve had a relationship with.
You need to understand that you’re rekindling a past relationship and not starting a brand new one.
Getting him to fall in love with you again and giving your relationship a second chance means separating the past from the present and the facts from fiction.
You need to see him for who he is now and not who he was. The same goes for him.
3) Talk about what you did when you were apart
As mentioned above, dating somebody you’ve already had a relationship with isn’t considered a fresh start.
Giving your relationship another go also means divulging what you did while you two were broken up.
If you dated somebody for a couple of months, tell him. If, however, you dated someone he considers to be a close friend or coworker, don’t go there.
It will trigger jealousy and hurt and can make things challenging.
You need to ensure that no surprises crop up further down the road.
If your man is upset about it now (bearing in mind you weren’t together when it happened) talk about it, address the issues and move on.
4) Talk about why you want to get back together
You need to be clear on why you want to get back together.
Do you value what you had with him and can you see yourself growing old together?
If your last date turned out to be a monumental a-hole and this is the only reason you want to get with him again, it’s not the best reason to go back to an ex.
5) Listen to your gut.
If you ignored major issues in your past relationship with him, then you mustn’t let it happen again.
Maybe you were blinded and didn’t listen to your intuition and chose to ignore the red flags.
Perhaps you thought things would change or you were confused and didn’t know what you wanted.
If you want him to fall in love with you again, and if you want to be in a loving and committed relationship, you need to trust your gut.
You need to put yourself first and love yourself to truly love another. If you find yourself feeling like you’ve swallowed a rock and that there’s a constant pit in your stomach, don’t ignore it.
6) Address old issues
You’re going to have to discuss issues that you previously had with each other because they are more than likely going to crop up again.
Take a proactive stance and discuss the issue and how you’re going to avoid them in the future.
It’s best to talk about these things when you’re both calm and composed and don’t fool yourself by thinking that you’re going to get away with sweeping old issues under the rug.
Remember, you’re building on an existing relationship so you’ll have to tackle them regardless of how ugly they are.
7. Talk about trust
Chances are that you have trust issues based on your past.
Most breakups occur where one or both partners betrayed each other.
Whether it be a lie, whether either of you cheated, betrayal leads to broken trust.
And we all know that once trust is lost, rebuilding it is no easy feat.
With that said, you must speak to each other about trust.
What it means to you and how you can prove to be trustworthy as you move forward together.
It’s also a good time to define what commitment means in terms of your relationship.
These questions require honest answers if you want to stand a chance of making it work the second time around.
8) Forgiveness is mandatory
If your ex cheated on you whether emotionally or physically, you have to be 100% willing to give them a second chance.
If you don’t they’ll be crucified about the past each time you get upset.
Having old wounds is normal but you must talk about them healthily and respectfully to avoid being stuck in a cycle of toxicity.
It’s also not fair to continually bring up their past transgression because you’re annoyed or feel insecure.
You’re doing irreparable damage to yourself, your partner, and your entire relationship.
If you’re not ready to forgive yet, the chances are that you’re not ready and might want to hold off getting back together.
9) Think before you speak
If you notice old behaviors and patterns resurfacing, it’s not a good idea to blurt them out in the heat of the moment. All this does is create arguments and animosity.
Rather, take time to process things. You can speak to a friend or even journal about it until you have had the chance to collect your thoughts.
When you know what you want to say to your partner, you can start the conversation by saying “I need some help with understanding…” or, “I have had a few things on my mind lately…”
It’s not healthy to bottle up your thoughts and emotions nor is it a good idea to blurt things out in a heated exchange. With that said, it’s best to speak up in an organized, yet thoughtful manner.
10) Don’t expect everyone to be thrilled.
Don’t expect to be showered with kindness by family and friends.
Because you’ve got history, they will always remember the negative aspects of your partner
They will also be keen to bring up the negative aspects of this person when you announce your reunion.
They’re not being nasty. They have your best intentions at heart and don’t want you to get hurt again.
Let them know that you have both put in a lot of hard work to better your relationship and address their concerns.
Also, keep them in the loop and explain what the two of you have planned for the future.
The bottom line
So, now that you know getting your man to fall in love with you again is possible, you have a lot to think about.
People can change but remember that humans are creatures of habit. It’s very common for things to go back to the way they were after the “getting to know you again” phase.
If you can see yourself with him for the long haul and know in your heart of hearts that he’s the one, giving it another go is worthwhile.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
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