Breaking up is hard to do. We’ve been there. It’s never easy to end a relationship and it often takes time for both people to get over their emotions and find a place of peace.
But does that mean you have to wait around for your partner until they are ready for you?
Give him space, but give him an out.
It’s totally possible to care about someone and let them have space, but still, make it clear that the door is open if they want to come back.
Now if you’re hoping that after giving him space, he’ll want to come back to your arms and give the relationship a second chance, here are some things you can do to ease the pain of waiting and make it happen.
1) Make it easy for him
A breakup can be hard on a couple. The hurt and pain are real. It’s not so much that you’re mad at him, it’s more of the bad feelings that you have about the relationship ending.
If you’ve already broken up and you’re hoping to get your man back, then make it easy for him.
I know it will be too difficult on your part, but know that you lived all of your life as you did before meeting him.
Give him the opportunity to come back. It’s not just about keeping hope alive that your relationship may work again; it’s also about making it easy for him to get back together with you if he does want that.
Let me be straight with you, acting desperate after the breakup could lessen your chances of getting him back.
This way he doesn’t feel like he has to prove anything to you.
Show him that you are willing to give him the space that he needs, it will be challenging on your part, I know.
But the more you prove to him that you are willing to make it easy for him to have that time away from you, the more likely it is that he’ll come back once the time comes.
2) Apply the no-contact rule
When a guy is upset after breaking up, he may not want to talk to you.
He may want anything other than your presence right now.
Being reasonable about his emotions, and communicating that you understand, can make him feel like you are willing to make the difficult effort of getting back together with him.
It’s important that he feels he can come back if he wants to as well without being pressured into it.
So as challenging as it may sound, don’t try to contact him: no text, no chat, no call, nothing.
Let him take as much time as he needs.
Here’s the thing: how long do you have to apply this no-contact rule?
According to an interview with Mark Brooks, an executive relationship coach, the rule is between 30 and 60 days.
Brooks also recommends showing you are busy and doing well without him: “This will help your ex see that you have moved on. When he misses you and realizes how much fun he’s missing out on, then the chances of getting back together will be much more likely.”
It’s now time to practice not checking your phone in a more disciplined way.
3) Don’t act desperate
When you are trying to get back together with your ex, it’s natural that you’ll be feeling some emotions: sadness, anger, rejection or even resentment.
But you can’t let those things get the best of you and make him feel like you are desperate to work it out with him again.
So how do you avoid that?
When I was going through this situation myself, I found it helpful to write a list of ways that my ex and I could still be friends if we did end up breaking up and then carry on with my list as if the breakup never happened in the first place.
In this way, negative emotions won’t take over your mind and you’ll feel like you have more control over the situation.
It will be easier for your ex to see that you are a woman worthy of being with again, just give him the time to realize that.
4) Show him that you are not trying to get him back
You can’t put the effort into getting him to come back if you haven’t been showing him that you are fine with not being with him.
Right after a breakup, it’s pretty normal for your ex to want some space and time to himself.
But if he knows that you are trying too hard, or looking like a desperate woman who can’t move on, then he will be less likely to want to go back out with you.
Show confidence and let him know that it’s okay if he doesn’t want to come back:
“If our relationship is meant to be, it will find a way even though we are not forcing things,” says dating expert April Davis.
But all of these are only for a show, you are indirectly trying to make him come back to you.
So what can you do in this situation? Send this “No Communication” text:
— “You’re right. It’s best that we don’t talk right now, but I would like to be friends eventually.” —
This one needs to be sent to your ex at the right time for it to be truly effective.
But why I like it is that you’re communicating with them that you don’t really need to talk anymore. In essence, you’re saying that you don’t really need them to play any role in your life anymore.
Why is this so good?
You induce a “fear of loss” in your ex which will trigger their attraction for you again.
I learned about this text from Brad Browning, who has helped thousands of men and women get their exes back. He goes by the moniker of “the relationship geek”, for good reason.
In this free video, he’ll show you exactly what you can do to make your ex want you again.
No matter what your situation is — or how badly you’ve messed up since the two of you broke up — he’ll give you a number of useful tips that you can apply immediately.
Here’s a link to his free video again. If you really want your ex back, this video will help you do this.
5) Realize that space is good in any relationship
Whether being together or in separate ways, it’s good to spend some time apart.
It’s important that your ex gets time to himself. But you have to realize that this is something that’s good for both of you.
A healthy space in relationships can end up being very positive for both parties.
If you want your ex back, the danger is that you’re going to make things into something more than they are.
So don’t set yourself on fire by trying too hard, and don’t expect him to read from your mind as if he knows what you want.
If your ex wants to talk to you again but doesn’t want to rush into it and if he thinks that you need space, then giving you space is exactly what he should be doing too.
You need this space as well, trust me on this.
6) Be there for him when he needs you
If your ex is going through some difficult times or has family issues to deal with, it’s important that you be there for him.
You should be understanding and compassionate towards him in his time of need, and not just do it in a way that makes him feel like he has to put up with your want (which is, to get him back).
This will help your ex see that you are a nice person who will be there for him when he really needs help.
So show or tell him how much you care about his well-being. Sometimes the right words can make all the difference between turning on a dime and letting things slide.
I know that you are upset or even mad that your relationship with him ended, and being there for him when he really needs someone might be too much for your pride, but believe on this: when the time is right to ask for your ex back, he’ll remember this.
And he is going to realize it’s always you for him, all along.
7) But bring out his inner hero
When your ex starts to feel better and realize that he needs you, then it’s time for you to step it up a bit.
You should not be too eager or eager at all, but try to encourage him to do something much braver than what he normally does.
You should do this in a way that shows that you are proud of him, and this will make him think twice about how important he’s becoming in your life.
There’s a new theory in the relationship world that’s causing quite a stir – it’s called the hero instinct.
Coined by relationship expert James Bauer, this fascinating concept finally explains how men really think and feel in relationships.
And it’s something most women have never even heard of.
According to James Bauer, men don’t actually need a lot to feel content in their relationships. In fact, what they need has nothing to do with sex.
Men have certain innate drivers. And when a woman comes along and triggers them, it causes a powerful response. The result is a man who loves harder, commits wholeheartedly, and truly dedicates himself to the relationship.
So, how can you trigger your man’s hero instinct?
The easiest thing to do is to watch this simple and genuine video by James Bauer.
The truth is, once you understand how the hero instinct works, there’s no telling what heights your relationship can reach.
So if you want to give your man what he truly wants from you, make sure to check out James Bauer’s excellent video. In it, he reveals the exact texts and phrases you can use straight away.
8) Make yourself irresistible
With this time and space between you and your ex, you all have the option to change your style or make yourself even more attractive.
The most important thing is to make sure that you look your best at all times. Your ex may not be in love with you anymore or even see any possibility of reconciliation, but that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t find you attractive.
There are so many ways to achieve that “Wow!” factor in you:
- Keep your style up to date
- Wear a nice or stylish outfit
- Or dress on your body type
- Use good perfume or cologne
- Always keep your hair clean and nicely styled
- Go for regular manicures/pedicures
- Use good face care products
Make sure that you always look good through your clothing or even your body language.
Men can be attracted to a woman’s personality and social compatibility as much as they are to a woman’s physical characteristics.
Just think this way: if you’re not the greatest talker in the world, social compatibility can help you quite a bit in this situation because it makes things easier for you.
If he’s already attracted to you, then it shouldn’t be difficult for your ex-partner to see how compatible you two are with each other.
9) Self-confidence can make you absolutely irresistible too!
Self-confidence is the most important thing a woman can have.
It’s attractive to men, and it can help you get your ex back even if he’s not with you right now.
If you’re lacking much of it, then now is the time to ramp it up. There’s no better time to build your self-confidence than the time right after a breakup.
You need all the positive feedback that you can get, and this will help you achieve rapid confidence building.
Here are ways to make positive changes in yourself:
- Start a new hobby
- Join a group
- Volunteer to help others
- Start a new exercise program
- Quit bad habits like smoking or over drinking
If your ex wants to get back together with you, he’s not going to see that you are miserable without him, he will see the confidence he’s been missing out.
And here’s the best part: building self-confidence is not only a subtle way of getting your ex back but also a chance for you to see how much you can become or how far you can go.
You’ll realize that you didn’t know that much about yourself and now, with what you have learned, you can do anything else in life.
So go out there and build your self-confidence. Remember to always be the best version of yourself.
When you carry yourself like a confident woman, you will be seen as more attractive, and this will also make you happier and attract other people.
10) Show that you’re doing well without him
If you still want your ex back, then you should know that it’s going to be hard without him.
Don’t go over there and ask for him. You will only hurt yourself. Stand on your own two feet and stop depending on him to make you happy or complete.
This is something that you don’t need or want from your ex anymore; he needs someone who can stand on her own feet in order to make her happy, and this is not something he is going to give to you.
You might still be hurting and missing him so much, this is totally natural after a breakup and if feelings are still strong.
As I have mentioned, showing him that you’re fine will definitely make him think twice if ending the relationship was the right decision.
This relates back to what Brad Browning taught me – there are simple ways to get your ex back.
I mentioned Brad earlier, he’s an expert at helping couples work through their issues and rebuild their relationships.
With practical tips to help you get your ex back, his advice could be just what you need to make your ex realize how great you are as his lover.
11) Don’t entertain other men
In the midst of strong emotions after the breakup, you might think that you’re doing good being with another man and make him jealous about it.
This can be a huge mistake because you are giving him more reasons to think that he is better off without you.
Once he knows that you are already meeting a new guy, it is more possible that he will be way distant than before.
Also, accept it or not, you are just using the new guy – which is totally unfair for him. This means that you only want your ex to feel jealous but yet at the same time you want a man who can make you happy and satisfy your needs.
You may be thinking that there is no problem with this kind of relationship, but once your relationship with the other guy gets serious enough, he will eventually find out what’s going on with you and your ex.
Also, girls who have moved on quickly have been reported to have a higher tendency to get into another relationship with the rebound guy they are seeing immediately.
That’s not even the worst: he may think that the relationship you had with him was not that deep or special since you already got yourself another man.
The truth is, if you want your ex back, then don’t rush into another relationship as soon as possible. Take time and space before moving on to someone else.
This can make your ex less likely to get back together with you and even lead to a permanent breakup.
You are just giving him the space that he needs to realize you are really the one for him, so it is important to use a level-headed mind.
12) Be real and don’t pretend
You need to be open and honest with him. Don’t change yourself or try to impress him.
Be the real you, good or bad.
Being good or bad doesn’t make you a better person, it just makes your ex think that there is something different about you even if it’s just the fact that you are still struggling with your feelings for him.
If he is trying to decide if he wants to get back together with you or not, then he will not see anything special about you anymore or not even think that your real personality is better than what he sees now.
Remember who you were when you were still with your man, and don’t hide anything.
Being truthful is one of the best things you can do now, and if you do that, then all of your efforts will not be wasted – in fact, it can make him fall back into your arms sooner or later.
If you are being too fake or pretending to be someone else just to get back together with him, then this is not going to work because he will realize that you are only faking and lying about who you are.
And the best part? He will realize that he also brought out the best in you.
I mentioned this fascinating concept earlier: the hero instinct. When a man’s inner hero is triggered, he’s more likely to realize that he is the one for you, no matter how long you spent time apart.
Just by knowing the right things to say to him, you’ll open a part of him that no woman has ever reached before.
And the best way to do so is by watching this free video by James Bauer. In it, he’ll reveal simple phrases and texts you can use to make your man truly yours.
13) Don’t go blaming yourself
It’s not your fault that your relationship ended, and it is not your fault either that you still feel so bad because of it.
Remember that the relationship didn’t work out because of many other reasons than you.
Yes, he might have been the cause, but it’s not something to blame yourself for – especially if you can’t take it back.
Remember that there is a reason why he left and don’t lose sight of this fact. Even if this means that you got hurt really badly, don’t suppress these emotions and try to get better by doing positive things in life.
But then again, blaming yourself for everything will only cause you to feel miserable, which will make it harder for you to get your ex back.
There can be no real relationship without a healthy level of self-esteem – think about it.
Don’t let the heartbreak and sadness keep you down, focus on life, and enjoy being single again.
When you do this, you will attract positivity and happiness into your life.
Keep these in your mind: have faith in yourself, trust yourself, and know that you deserve the best.
This attitude will definitely make him realize that you were not just a great partner, but also a great woman who is always good for him.
14) Talk to someone about it!
If you have problems talking with your family and friends about your relationship breakup, this is the perfect time to seek the help of someone you can totally trust or even a counselor or a therapist.
Sharing your feelings and thoughts to someone else can be very helpful especially if you are still confused or having a hard time coping up with the breakup. You can also vent your anger or sadness to this person.
Also, talking about the breakup with someone who is a neutral party will help you be objective about the situation, and eventually, you will make the right decisions for yourself.
It can also help you understand more about yourself and why your relationship failed in the first place.
If you can talk to people who are close to you but are still having problems, then try creating a therapy group among your friends or even online forums which allow anonymous posting.
Share your feelings, let it out. It can definitely lessen the weight on your shoulders and make you feel better about yourself.
Here’s more: listening to other people’s problems can also help you become more appreciative of what you have and realize how important is it for you to get yourself back together again and move on with your life.
15) Be patient!
This is probably the most important thing.
If you want to get your ex back, you need to be patient.
He may still be confused about his feelings, or he may have been hurt by the breakup he had with you.
He may need time to get things sorted out in his head. If this happens, then take it easy.
Remember that it is not just up to you to try hard to make him realize how much you still want him, but it’s also up to him.
He has to make the first move, so just let him do it when he feels ready.
It’s pointless for you to keep texting or calling your ex because he will only think that you are pressuring him and forcing him.
Doing this can even lead both of you into an argument or a breakup again.
Patience is a virtue and will definitely pay off in the end.
I’m sure many of you are still hurting and confused by the breakup you had.
But don’t worry, this is all temporary and it will get better if you can just focus on your life.
No matter how tough it is, be strong and keep moving forward.
You can get your ex back… Keep in mind that the first thing to do is to accept that the relationship between you two has ended for now.
There comes a time when everyone will accept this reality and move on with their lives.
But if you really want your ex back for good?
You’ll need the help of Brad Browning. I mentioned him earlier, he’s developed some incredible techniques to help rebuild the love and trust between you and your ex.
And the best part?
With his practical advice and tips, you could be in contact with your ex much sooner than you think. Are you ready to take the plunge and fight for the love you once shared together?
If so, check out Brad’s excellent free video.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.