From the time we are born, our parents and society continue to teach us that how boys and men perceive us is more important than how other people view us.
We’re told that how a man feels about you is more important than your own happiness or success.
But why? Why should one person have such power over another’s life?
Here are 10 reasons why it’s time for us to stop caring what he thinks of us and start living our lives with no regrets!
10 reasons why you shouldn’t care what he thinks
1) You don’t want to be dependent on a man for your happiness
Do you feel like a “people pleaser“?
If you do, then chances are high that you care too much about what a man thinks of you.
Just think about it. Can you call yourself an independent woman? To what degree do you depend on your partner or other people around you?
If you can’t live without your partner, then you’re not independent. And if you’re not independent, it’s difficult to be happy.
You’ll always worry about what he thinks of you, and how he feels about your decisions. You’ll never be able to make a decision that goes against his wishes because, deep down inside, you want him to like you more than anything else in the world.
That’s why it’s time for us to stop caring what he thinks of us! We should take care of our own happiness first before worrying about his feelings!
2) You’re should be living a life that isn’t true to yourself
Have you ever heard the phrase “you only live once”?
I bet you have! But if you notice you think too much about what he thinks of you, then you’re likely living a life that’s not true to yourself.
You’re living a life that’s not authentic to who you are. You’re living a life that’s not authentic to what you want for your future.
We all have our own dreams and goals in life, but if you constantly think about what he thinks of you, then you’ll end up compromising those dreams and goals for his.
But wait – do you really want to do that? Do you really want to live a life that’s not true to yourself?
Just think about it. Is it worth it to give up your dreams and goals for someone else? If so, then why do you even care what he thinks of you in the first place?
3) You’re wasting your time on a man who doesn’t deserve your attention
We’ve all been in this situation before. We meet a guy and start dating him because we think he’s hot and nice.
But then, after some time passes by, we start noticing his bad traits. He starts acting like an idiot around his friends or even us! And he starts making bad decisions that hurt us or our feelings.
But instead of realizing that we should stop dating him, we start to care what he thinks of us even more! In fact, we started to depend on him for our happiness.
We think that the only way for us to be happy is if he’s happy too.
We shouldn’t waste another second of our lives on someone who doesn’t care about us at all.
Well, then it’s time for us to stop worrying about what he thinks of us and just cut him off completely! He doesn’t respect you and your feelings anyway, so why should you respect him?
4) You want to stop being a victim of the “he said, she said” game
Have you ever been in a situation where your friends are talking about him, and they ask you what he’s really like? And then, instead of telling them how he really is, you just tell them what you think they want to hear.
But later on, your friends ask him what he thinks of you, and he tells them that you’re immature, strange, or that he simply doesn’t care about you.
But then when your friends ask you about him again, this time they want to know why he thinks of you like that.
And so the cycle continues. You keep telling your friends different things depending on how they see things. To get the upper hand, you keep telling them the opposite things.
But do you realize that all of this is just a game?
That’s why we should all stop doing this. We shouldn’t feel the need to be right all the time or to make sure everyone else is wrong. If he’s not treating you well, then tell your friends that he’s not treating you well.
It’s not worth it to keep playing the “he said, she said” game. Why? Because after all, it’s just a myth. And you should just tell your friends how he really is and stand your ground!
And don’t forget: you don’t need to be afraid of him. If he doesn’t respect you, then you shouldn’t respect him either!
5) You don’t want to be the girl who always does what he says
This may sound a bit tough, but it’s true – you shouldn’t feel the need to do what he wants you to do all the time!
If he’s not treating you well, then you shouldn’t feel the need to do what he wants you to do!
The truth is that most of the time, we do things just because we’re afraid of what will happen if we don’t. We feel like we need to do it for him, even though deep down inside we know that it’s not right. But it’s easier for us to just go along with things, so that’s what we end up doing.
But in doing this, we’re just taking away our own power and letting him control us. We’re not being the women that we really are anymore – no matter how much he tells us otherwise!
Seriously, how do you think it feels for him to see that you don’t have any self-respect or self-worth?
And what matters the most, is how you feel about it yourself.
If he’s treating you badly, then chances are that’s what he wants from you. It’s not because he really likes you, but because he knows that if he treats you badly, then it will make him feel like a man. And if you’re okay with this, then who are you really hurting?
So don’t let him treat you like a puppet that only says what he wants to hear! Don’t let him treat you like his slave! Tell him how it is and stand up for yourself!
6) You don’t want to be the girl who lets him walk all over her
Hey! We’re all girls – we’re not here to be walked on!
If your boyfriend is constantly putting you down or treating you poorly, then guess what? He doesn’t respect you!
And if he doesn’t respect you, then why should you respect him?
You shouldn’t let anyone treat you like that. You shouldn’t be afraid to tell him how it is and stand up for yourself. If he’s not treating you well, then don’t let him walk all over you! Stand up for yourself and tell him what it is!
So let’s get down to business.
If your boyfriend is treating you badly, then don’t feel the need to be his slave or his puppet anymore! Don’t let him walk all over you – stand up and tell him how it is!
7) You want to live your life on your terms, not his
You should never let someone else tell you how to live your life. If he has an issue with how you choose to live, then that says more about him than it does about you.
Want to know how it works right now? Let me give you an example.
For instance, if you love to go out with your friends on the weekend, but he doesn’t like it, then that’s not your problem. You shouldn’t feel the need to change things for him just because he doesn’t like them.
If he wants you to change things for him and make them more convenient for him, then why should you do that? It’s his issue, not yours!
If you want to spend time with your friends instead of with them, then don’t feel the need to change things just because you think that it’s a problem. And if he has an issue with how you choose to live your life, then maybe it’s time for him to move on!
What’s more, if he’s treating you badly, then don’t let him walk all over you – stand up and tell him how it is!
8) You want to stop feeling guilty about being “too hard to get”
Have you ever been in a situation where you’re dating a man who doesn’t seem to be interested in you, and then you start to feel guilty?
I know the feeling.
Once upon a time, I was in a situation where I was dating someone who didn’t seem to be interested in me. He would ignore me and never call me, but then I would feel guilty because maybe it was my fault. Maybe I wasn’t pretty enough, or maybe he just wasn’t interested.
And this is the problem with people – we tend to blame ourselves for things that are out of our control. We tend to blame ourselves for things that we can’t change, and it’s nobody’s fault but our own!
We tend to blame ourselves for things that aren’t our fault, and if you’re doing this, then you need to stop! You need to stop blaming yourself for things that aren’t your fault!
In order to stop blaming yourself, you need to take a step back from what you’re doing in your life and ask yourself why you do it.
If there is no reason behind something like saying “I’m worthless” or “I’ll never be good enough,” then maybe these thoughts aren’t coming from within; they might just be other people telling us those words so that they have an excuse to not give us their time or attention again.
You should also try talking about the situation with someone close who will listen without judgment, because sometimes when others hear how much fear has taken over your mind, they may think differently than before, which could help break free of some anxiety.
9) You don’t have to impress him to be happy
There’s a saying that goes, “Actions speak louder than words.”
In other words, the way we act is a real indication of how we feel about someone or something.
And this is true in relationships too. If you’re dating someone, then it’s a good indication that you’re interested in them and that you want to be with them. But if your actions are different from the way that you feel, then it’s time to move on!
For example, if you want to be with someone but your actions don’t reflect that at all – then maybe it’s time to stop fooling yourself! Maybe it’s time to admit the truth and face up to reality. Until we’re honest with ourselves, we won’t be able to make things better!
Yes, you read that right. If your actions aren’t matching up with how you feel, then it’s time to take a good look at yourself and admit the truth. It’s time to admit that maybe you’re not happy in this relationship, and it’s time to move on.
So next time you ask yourself “am I still in love?”, try asking yourself these questions and see what happens!
10) What’s right for him might be wrong for you
Do you know the saying “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”?
Well, it’s true.
There are things that make some people feel more beautiful than others, and it’s not necessarily because they have a model’s look or are at their peak physical health.
Some people feel more beautiful when they have their hair pulled up into a bun, wearing a weird outfit or minimal amount of makeup, while other people feel more confident when they are dressed to impress with all their best attributes on full display.
The point is, everyone has different opinions on what feeling more beautiful means to them.
Let me tell you something: relationships are about compromise.
Whether you like it or not, that’s the fact. And that’s healthy.
You have to give a little to get a little. And you have to be willing to bend a little bit so that you can find common ground. But this doesn’t mean that you have to sacrifice everything that’s important in your life!
I’m not talking about compromising your values and standards. I’m talking about being able to bend a little bit and make the other person happy too!
Which means what?
If you’re dating someone who doesn’t want the same things as you, then it’s time to move on! There is no way that you’ll ever be happy with someone who doesn’t respect the most important things in your life.
So if this is happening, then don’t waste another minute of your life with this person. It’s time to move on and find someone who wants the same things as you do.
Final thoughts – Don’t lose yourself!
Let’s rewind and go back to the very beginning.
Here’s the thing: you are more than just a lover. You’re more than just a friend.
You’re a human being with your own set of needs and desires, and it’s time that you start putting yourself first!
If you’re tired of caring about what your partner thinks you should be doing to make yourself feel better about yourself, then it’s time to stop giving a damn and do what makes you happy!
You should stop worrying about what he thinks of you.
He’s never going to change who you are or what you are. If you’re the type of person that is constantly seeking validation and approval from others, then it’ll keep getting worse and worse. You’ll never be happy and satisfied with yourself if you continue to let other people tell you who you should be.
And by the way, none of that matters anyway, because you’re independent, you’re free, and you’re yourself.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
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