11 reasons why you should disappear from your ex’s life

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The breakup is the hardest part of a relationship. 

It’s not just that you have to let go of the person you love. It’s also not just that you have to forget about the good times you had with them.  It’s also not just that you have to decide whether or not you want to give up on the relationship. 

It’s also because there’s this whole new world of single life that you have to navigate without your ex.

So, why should you forget about your ex? Well, there are very good reasons for this and we will tell you all of them.

Here are 11 reasons why you should disappear from your ex’s life

1) Clinging to the past does not allow you to move forward

One of the biggest mistakes that some people make in their lives is living in the past – so don’t do it.

If your relationship ended, it was for a legitimate reason, and those reasons are not going to change because you want them to.

The reason you broke up in the first place, is also the same reason why you don’t want to keep in touch with your ex.

If you don’t let go of your ex and move on with your life, you will be unable to grow, learn from the relationship’s mistakes and improve yourself. That is not healthy for anyone.

 2) You’ll feel better

One of the first things you want to do after a breakup is avoid your ex

That’s because you don’t want to see them and think about them, right? 

However, disappearing from your ex’s life will definitely make you feel better. And why is that? 

Well, it’s because you will be able to focus on your own life and you will no longer be distracted by a relationship that is already over.

Also, when someone is looking for their ex on social media or stalking their Facebook updates, this can easily lead to feelings of jealously and anger. 

It can also lead to feelings of rejection. If you stay away from your ex, these feelings won’t happen as much- that way you’ll be able to move on faster.

3) You’ll focus on yourself 

It’s easy to put your life on hold when you’re in a relationship. 

You spend so much time and energy trying to please your partner, that it becomes difficult to focus on your own needs and wants. 

When you break up with someone, it can be scary. The last thing you want to do is go through the process of forgetting about them while you struggle to survive single life.

But, if you really want to move on, it’s important that you start focusing on yourself again. This can mean a lot of things like working out more often or going out more often with friends. 

It can also mean getting involved in activities that are just for you. Even if it’s something small, like writing in a blog or volunteering at a shelter. The point is that this will help make the breakup easier for both of you by reminding yourselves that you are whole people who deserve love and happiness!

4) You’ll have more independence

By cutting off communication with your ex, you’ll have more independence.  This is because your ex will no longer need to know your every move. 

Sharing an apartment can influence your day-to-day actions. If you are still in contact with your ex, it might make you feel like they’re interfering with your life even though the relationship has ended.

Letting go of your ex will allow you to get through your days without being interrupted by him. 

This will make you more confident and give you the sense that you’re more in control of your life. 

5) You’ll finally figure out what you want 

Your ex might have been amazing in some aspects, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t explore new relationships.

This is your chance to figure out what you want and don’t want in a partner. You won’t be able to do that if you stick around your ex. It’s time to create something new for yourself.  

If your ex was not compatible with your needs, then it will be easier to recognize the things you don’t want anymore if you stay away from him. This will help you figure out what type of person you want to be with instead of wasting time with someone who doesn’t fit.

Not only that but you’ll have the time to think about who you want to be from now on.

6) Your self-esteem will skyrocket

The best part about getting over your ex is that you start to see yourself in a different light. 

You won’t have to worry about whether or not they still find you attractive anymore. 

You’ll be able to avoid listening to him when he criticizes and complains about you all the time.

Your entire focus will be on yourself, which will make you feel much better about who you are. 

You’ll understand that you deserve the best of the best and that, if it doesn’t work out with any potential partners, it just means there isn’t a right one for you.

7) You’ll stop obsessing over them 

It’s not easy to let go of someone. But, if you don’t, you might end up obsessing over them.

This is why you need to make disappearing from your ex’s life a goal. 

If you focus on what they’re doing and how they feel, it can really start to drive you crazy. It will even get worse the more time passes without hearing from them. That’s where the obsession starts. 

You could become an Instagram stalker and trust me, that’s not what you want.

What if you found out that he’s moved on and found someone else? You’ll feel like you’re going crazy and will never be over him.

By focusing on yourself you’ll be able to avoid all of this and realize that your ex is just not for you. 

After all, the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. 

8) You’ll save time and effort

The more time and effort you spend trying to deal with your ex is time and effort you could be using to do something else. 

That’s not just true for the relationship, it’s also true for the breakup. 

The more time you spend thinking about your ex, the less time you have to focus on what matters most to you.

You might even make decisions that don’t make sense because you’re too busy trying to figure out what they want. This is why getting over your ex is so important. 

It will take a lot of the pressure off of you and allow you to make better decisions for your life in general.

9) You’ll finally be free to start dating again 

Disappearing from your ex’s life will allow you to feel free and confident to start dating again. 

If you’re still in touch with your ex and want to date someone new, it’s understandable that you may feel guilty – but this doesn’t make sense.

Your ex is not your problem anymore. You have to focus on finding love in a new place. You don’t need to feel guilty about moving on. 

10) You both can move on

If you loved him before, you probably want the best for him now. Even if it doesn’t involve being together anymore.

If you want to move on, you’ll have to focus on yourself and making yourself happy. 

And he will be able to do the same if he wants to.

When you think about it this way, the breakup is less about getting over the person that left and more about finding happiness in yourself.

11) You’ll find someone better

Think about it, if the place of the couple is still occupied by your ex, there will be no room for anyone else.

Only when you start to put your attention on what you want for your future will you create the space for someone new to appear in your life. 

You deserve to find someone who completely fulfills your needs, not someone who fills in the missing pieces of your old relationship.

Will your ex be curious if you disappear from his life?

If you are wondering if your ex will notice your absence, let’s be honest here, we can’t just erase the past,  no matter how hard we try.

You’ve been together for a long time, you’ve been through a lot together, and you still have many memories together. 

Even if he wants to forget about you, you will always be there in his mind and in his heart

But that’s not the point here.

What you need to focus on now is what it is that you need to find happiness and fulfillment in your own life. You don’t need to be with him in order to be happy.

And if he’s smart enough, he will do de same. You both need to move on and create a new life separated from each other.

If you want to find your happiness, then you need to do it on your own. 

You need to become your best self and that way you’ll attract the kind of person you want into your life.

You can’t rely on your ex’s love and attention anymore.

Is disappearing from your ex’s life a good strategy to attract him back?

It’s not.

I’m a strong believer that honesty should always be the answer.

Giving some space for both of you could be a good idea, not as a strategy to attract him but rather so that you can clarify your thoughts.

You need to focus on what you want from your life. You need to stop trying to fill in the missing pieces of your relationship. 

On the other hand, if he is still interested in you, then he will still be there when you’re ready to see him again.

You need to take the time that is needed for you to come up with a clear opinion and feelings. If after doing so, you still feel like he’s worth it, then talk to him about how you feel.

If you still want to disappear, then do so.

Be honest with yourself, and be honest with him.

You deserve to find a new person who can fill in the space that’s been missing in your life.

How long does it take for your ex to move on?

There is no right or wrong answer to this question,  it really depends on both of you and the relationship you had.

To give you a better idea of what to expect, some studies suggest that it could take from a few weeks to several years for someone who is over an ex.

And in general, the longer a person’s relationship has been, the longer it’ll take them to get over it.

But what’s important is the fact that you are ready to move on.

A couple of months after the break up, you should have already figured out what went wrong in your relationship and you should be able to move on with your life.

And I must warn you: You won’t be able to do this if, like many people, you are still obsessing about your ex and how he continues with his life.

Why do I still feel so lonely?

There are a lot of reasons why people feel lonely after a break up,  but the most common one is that they’ve lost their connection to their partner and they don’t know what else to do about it.

The first thing that I would suggest doing when this happens is talking about your feelings with a close friend or family member who can give you some advice and help you through this difficult time.

This will help you get back on track and keep your mind occupied while also helping to keep yourself from feeling resentful towards  your ex.

If you still feel like you’re not moving on, then I would suggest talking to a therapist so that they can help you find some answers and ways to cope with your feelings.

With time, you will come to realize that everything happens for a reason and you are stronger than you once thought.

Conclusion

What are the chances that you’ll get back together with your ex? Slim to none. 

Believe it or not, the chances of you finding someone better are much higher. 

You can feel free to move on. 

You deserve to enjoy your life and find happiness. 

Start by focusing on yourself, then you’ll be able to start dating again.

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

Click here to get started.