You know that feeling when you like someone but they don’t like you back?
It’s like a bucket of cold water has been splashed on your face. You go from happily imagining your future together to the harsh reality that they don’t see you in that way.
We’ve all been there – when you like someone who doesn’t return the same feelings towards you. It can be crushing and leave you wondering what went wrong.
So how is it possible for us to stop liking someone the moment we realize they like us?
There is no simple answer to that question. There are several reasons for this, and it rarely happens coincidentally.
You might be afraid, insecure, shy or have trust issues from previous experiences. No matter what the cause of this change in feelings, this post will help you identify it.
11 reasons why you stopped liking him when you realized he liked you
1) You were turned off because they seemed too desperate
When someone is too eager to impress you and make you like them, it can put you off.
They might seem fake and insincere, or simply too needy.
When someone likes you, it’s natural for them to want to spend time with you, but if they are too desperate it can feel suffocating.
We are now more accustomed to being independent and spending time alone. Every individual values their freedom. If someone behaves in an intrusive manner, it will turn you off regardless of whether or not you liked them before.
2) You weren’t that into them
When you like someone, you start to see the good in them. You ignore the bad and look for even the tiniest of positives.
Once a person shows interest in you, you may start getting to know them better and see the real person rather than the person you imagined.
You might start to notice their flaws that you have never seen before.
You may see that they’re not right for you or your life is too different to ever make it work.
This doesn’t mean that you’re not allowed to have feelings for someone who you don’t like. You’re just not attracted to them and don’t have that inner pull towards them that love should come with.
Knowing more about the person made you realize that you no longer romantically like them.
3) You’re too nervous and afraid to reciprocate the person’s feelings
You have a choice when someone likes you back.
You can either reject them or let them know how you feel. It can be a heart-wrenching decision because you are putting your heart on the line and hoping for the best.
If you’re too nervous and afraid to show your true feelings, you might end up pushing them away.
They may feel rejected and unwanted, which could lead to them losing interest in you. You may be subconsciously letting them down easy with hopes that they’ll stop liking you and leave you alone.
Or you may be hoping that their feelings will die down and they’ll eventually give up.
You’re giving them the wrong impression that you are not interested enough because you are afraid.
4) They were only interested because you’re available
When you’re single, you’re in a good position to date.
You’re free to go on dates and meet new people, potentially finding the love of your life!
But some people are actively looking for someone to take the place of their ex.
They only desire someone who can make them feel desired because being alone terrifies them.
When someone doesn’t have their eye on a particular person, they could be interested in you because you’re there and single.
Your instinct is warning you that if they find out how interested you are, they may stop being interested in you.
This doesn’t mean that you’re not good enough. It’s just that they were only after you because you were available.
They were hoping that you’d fill the gap in their life left by their ex.
Being dissuaded from liking them is caused by your knowing better.
5) His interest raised your ego and now you don’t want anything else
When someone shows an interest in you, it can be quite flattering.
You may have a certain air of confidence when they like you and it makes you feel good about yourself.
But as time goes on, your feelings are changing and you no longer like them.
You may have been only interested in them because their interest raised your ego and now you don’t want anything else to do with them.
If they find out your true feelings, they could feel hurt and rejected because they were hoping that the two of you could get to know each other better.
They were hoping that the two of you would go on a date or two before deciding if you had any romantic chemistry between the two of you.
They might even be hoping that the two of you would end up being a couple!
Your heart is warning you about this person because he’s not for you.
6) The person doesn’t meet your standards
Emotions are crazy, unpredictable things.
If a person likes you back, you’re likely to feel incredibly excited and happy.
You may be wondering how you’re going to contain yourself while they’re still unaware of your feelings.
However, you might start thinking about everything too much and setting excessively high standards (whether consciously or subconsciously).
You may only be able to focus on what they lack or what’s missing in them.
You may feel that they’re not good enough for you and could end up pushing them away.
7) They trigger your insecurities
Everyone has insecurities and fears. They’re a part of being human.
However, if someone you like triggers your insecurities, you may reject them without even knowing it.
You may feel like you’re not good enough for them.
Even if someone is showing interest in you, you may still think they are out of your league.
You may be worried that they’ll see the things that you hate about yourself.
You may be subconsciously pushing them away with hopes that they’ll get fed up and leave you alone.
Some people are aware of their insecurities and are working on them.
They may have self-esteem issues and be desperately seeking love.
But, if you are realizing this is happening to you the best thing you can do is, first, ask yourself why they’re triggering your insecurities.
Figure out what’s causing it so that you can work on it and get over it.
If you can accept yourself, then you’ll be able to accept others.
If someone is interested in you, they won’t care about your insecurities or anything else that makes you different from everyone else.
They will love everything about you!
8) You’re not ready for a relationship
It could be that you’re not looking for a relationship at all.
You may just want to have fun and enjoy the company of another person without being tied down or having any serious commitments.
Or maybe you have recently been hurt by someone else and you don’t want to put yourself out there again.
You may be scared of getting your hopes up in case it doesn’t work out this time.
These are all valid reasons to reject someone and not let them into your life, even if you like them.
If this is the case, it might be better for both of you if you were honest about it and let them know how you feel before wasting their time or yours.
9) They have bad intentions
Sadly, there are bad people in the world who have ill intentions. Or people who don’t care about anyone other than themselves.
Despite how handsome they may look, you probably know the type.
They may have been interested in you because you’re a good catch, but they have no intention of anything serious with you.
They might want something from you. They could be after your money. They might want to use you. They might be interested in you because they know you have a lot of power.
These people could be interested in you because they know you have something they want.
It’s completely normal to stop liking someone if you know they’re not right for you. Just looking at someone doesn’t hurt, but getting involved with someone like that certainly does.
10) They’re already in a relationship
This is a big one.
It’s possible that you like someone, but when you get to know them, you find out that they are already committed.
They may have been secretly dating someone and you just happened to cross paths, only to find out that they were already in a relationship with someone else.
They might have tried to get with you behind their significant other’s back.
Even if you like this guy a lot, you will stop liking him if he shows you interest, as long as he is in a relationship.
11) You know you wouldn’t be happy with them
When you’re in a relationship with someone, you start to see their true colors.
You start to notice their flaws and see where they need to improve in their lives.
You also see what it would be like to be in a long-term relationship with them.
You may wonder why you would ever want to be with them, and realize that they could never make you happy.
It’s important to realize that liking someone doesn’t mean you will be with that person.
Liking someone is just the first step in the long process of getting to know them and deciding whether or not you want to be with them.
Having more knowledge about a person can help you make a better decision about them or your compatibility with them as you get to know them better.
It’s fine to change your mind about someone if you realize they’re not the right fit for you, and remember that you can take as much time as you need.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.
The above link will give you $50 off your first session - an exclusive offer for Love Connection readers.