Your boyfriend keeps you around. Wouldn’t it be great to know why?
You’re in a never-ending battle. You fight constantly, and the relationship has disintegrated. Still, he won’t break up with you.
Why won’t he just do the right thing and leave? Maybe he enjoys torturing you!
But that’s not always the case. There are some legitimate reasons why he keeps you around – ones that may have nothing to do with cruelty or enjoyment.
Here are 17 reasons why he won’t break up with you
1) His relationship with you is convenient for him
Reason number 1 goes like this: your relationship is somehow convenient to him. To be more precise, it’s convenient for him to keep you around.
Maybe he enjoys your company, even if you fight all the time. Maybe he doesn’t have the energy to go out and meet someone new.
Maybe he’s bored with his life and your relationship is a welcome distraction. Or maybe you’re paying all of the bills and leaving him free to do as he pleases!
In any case, your relationship is convenient and he’s not going to let it go just because things are bad between you two.
2) Your boyfriend is afraid to be alone
Listen: some men are just as afraid of being alone as some women are.
But some guys are so afraid of being alone that they’ll do anything to avoid it. They’ll settle for a lousy relationship if it means they don’t have to be without anyone.
In many cases, these men will date or even marry women whom they can’t stand just because it’s better than being alone!
And the worst part? You might be that woman who he can’t stand!
He’s probably thinking that your relationship – bad as it is – is still better than nothing. And he’s not willing to give up that comfort simply because you’re not happy or because your relationship isn’t ideal.
3) Your boyfriend really loves you
This one’s easy: your boyfriend really loves you.
Love can lead men (and women) to do crazy things:
I’ve seen good men settle for bad relationships because of love.
I’ve also seen men stand by women who have treated them badly.
I’ve even seen men stay married to women who have cheated on them – because of love!
You may say, “But he doesn’t love me. He doesn’t treat me well!” You may have a point there.
Your boyfriend’s treatment of you may be awful. But that doesn’t mean he can walk away from you without a second thought.
Why not? Because love is like quicksand when it gets its grip on someone. The more he loves you, the harder it is for him to let go.
4) Want advice specific to your situation?
While this article will shed light on the main reasons he won’t break up with you, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.
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Within minutes, you could be receiving life-changing advice on how to navigate and repair the issues you’re facing with your boyfriend.
5) He’s obsessed with your relationship and can’t let go of it
Reason number 5 might sound a bit strange, but it happens all the time: your man is obsessed with your relationship, even though it’s bad.
Maybe he’s obsessed with the idea of being in a relationship.
Maybe he’s obsessed with the idea of you two working out together.
Maybe he just can’t imagine himself without you and your relationship.
Whatever the reason, it takes obsession for someone to hold onto a bad situation for so long. And if your boyfriend is holding onto you like grim death, this might be why!
6) He likes the sex part too much
Want to know another reason your boyfriend won’t break up with you? He enjoys having sex with you so much that he simply can’t let you go.
Be honest: Is sex the only good part of your relationship? If it is, then you don’t have to look for any more answers.
The truth is, your boyfriend is infatuated with you. In other words, he feels an unstoppable urge to be with you intimately. He likes your body and the way you use it to please him.
Even though, emotionally speaking, you two may be a mess, he ignores this aspect of your relationship. Instead, he focuses on the naughty part.
While this may be far from what you’d like to hear, you’re not making it easier for him to break up with you if you keep satisfying him sexually.
So, before you do anything else, ask yourself what is it that you really want? If you want him out of your life, thinking it would be best for you, then simply stop having sex with him.
However, if you want him in your life, try to take your relationship to the next level.
7) You take good care of him
Here’s how reason seven goes: you take good care of him financially and/or you do all the household chores so he doesn’t have to do anything.
Maybe you buy clothes for him or do his laundry. Maybe you clean his home for him or you take him out for nice dinners.
No matter how you do it, the bottom line is that you’re taking care of him and he’s not willing to give that up.
Simply put, he’s taking advantage of you.
He’s using you to get the things he wants. And, in his eyes, he can’t break up with you because that would mean giving up all of the benefits he gets from your relationship!
8) He feels an inexplicable need to protect you
You’re in a bad relationship, but your man won’t break up with you?
Reason number eight might be to blame: he feels an inexplicable need to protect you.
In other words, he wants – almost needs – to take care of you. And he also wants to shield you from pain.
There’s a new theory in the relationship world that’s causing quite a stir – it’s called the hero instinct.
Coined by relationship expert James Bauer, this fascinating concept finally explains how men really think and feel in relationships.
And it’s something most women have never even heard of.
According to James Bauer, men don’t actually need a lot to feel content in their relationships. In fact, what they need has nothing to do with sex.
Men have certain innate drivers. And when a woman comes along and triggers them, it causes a powerful response. The result is a man who loves harder, commits wholeheartedly, and truly dedicates himself to the relationship.
So, your boyfriend could already feel somewhat like your hero. However, if you’re unhappy together, it could be because you didn’t fully trigger this instinct in him.
If you want to fully trigger the hero instinct in your boyfriend, the easiest thing to do is to watch this simple and genuine video by James Bauer.
The truth is, once you understand how the hero instinct works, there’s no telling what heights your relationship can reach. Maybe you’ll fix things and you two won’t break up after all.
So if you want to give him another shot, make sure to check out James Bauer’s excellent video. In it, he reveals the exact texts and phrases you can use straight away.
Here’s a link to the free video again.
9) Your boyfriend wants to control you
Want to know a secret? Your boyfriend won’t leave you because he wants to control you.
This sounds strange, but it’s true. If he left you, he would lose control over you and your relationship – and that horrifies him!
Let me explain: Some men need to be in control of their relationships. They can’t handle losing control over their women – and your boyfriend may be one of these men.
If he leaves you, he knows he’ll have to give up that control. And that’s a prospect he feels very threatened by!
10) He’s immature and doesn’t know how to break up with you
Reason number 10 could come as a surprise to you:
Your boyfriend could simply be emotionally immature. Maybe he just doesn’t know how to end the relationship. Maybe he thinks that breaking up is a really big deal.
I’ve heard guys say, “If I break up with her, she’ll think I don’t love her and she’ll get really upset. And maybe she’ll even cry. I don’t want to hurt her!”
And if he can’t handle the emotional pain of breaking up with you, then he’ll just stick it out in a bad relationship.
Fair warning: He might want you to break up with him.
11) You’re like a habit to him
Your boyfriend won’t break up with you because you’re like a habit to him.
To be more precise, this means that your relationship is based on habits and routines that have become second nature to both of you.
He’s used to you and he can’t imagine a life without you in it. He likes having the routine of seeing you every day and hearing from you every night.
In fact, you and your relationship are like a drug that he can’t do without. And he doesn’t want to give up the pleasure of being with you so easily.
If he did break up with you, he would have to go through a “withdrawal period” where it feels like nothing is right in his world. It’s not easy to get used to that feeling!
But what if you’re unhappy? you might ask. Well, he’s probably just as unhappy.
12) He doesn’t know how to be happy without you
Your boyfriend won’t break up with you because he thinks that his happiness depends on you.
Have you ever thought about why he can’t let go of your relationship? Maybe it’s because he depends on your relationship to make him happy!
For some guys, being with a woman makes them feel like life is worth living. For them, you and your relationship are what makes life worth living.
The problem? He doesn’t know how to be happy with you either.
Maybe he won’t break up because he thinks that being without you would make him unhappy.
And maybe he’s so scared of losing your relationship that the thought of breaking up is simply too much for him to handle!
I mentioned this fascinating concept earlier: the hero instinct. When a man’s inner hero is triggered, he’s more likely to genuinely be happy with you – and to make you happy as well.
Just by knowing the right things to say to him, you can open a part of him that no woman has ever reached before. In turn, he can make you forget all about wanting to break up with him.
And the best way to do so is by watching this free video by James Bauer. In it, he’ll reveal simple phrases and texts you can use to transform your relationship.
Here’s a link to the excellent video again.
13) Your boyfriend doesn’t want to date again
Look: your boyfriend might keep you around for a really selfish reason – he doesn’t want to go back to the dating scene again.
Maybe he’s done it before, and he realized that dating was a total waste of time. Or, maybe he got rejected too many times. It’s also possessive that it was very hard for him to meet someone special – you.
Whatever the case may be, he doesn’t want to put himself through all of that again. So instead of breaking up with you, he just sticks with you in a bad relationship.
That’s a pretty selfish move!
14) He’s got nothing else going on in his life
Here’s the real reason why your boyfriend won’t break up with you: he doesn’t have anything better to do with his time!
Maybe he’s not happy in your relationship, but there are no other good options for him to pursue. For example, maybe he dropped out of college and has no job.
Also, maybe he doesn’t have friends and he’s not able to meet new people. Or, maybe he simply doesn’t want to meet new people.
Hopefully, you get the point. Whatever his situation is, he’s got nothing else going for him.
That’s why he doesn’t want to break up with you – even though breaking up might be in both of your interests!
15) Other people put pressure on him to stay with you
Wait, what? Could it be possible that other people pressure him into staying with you?
Yes, actually! It could be that his family and friends love you, and they can’t accept that things aren’t working out between the two of you.
So they put pressure on him to stay with you. They might say things like, “It’ll get better! Stay with her! Work it out!”
Obviously, other people are not always right.
But they can put a lot of pressure on him to stay with you. And that prevents him from breaking up with you and having a fresh start.
16) Your boyfriend doesn’t want anyone else to have you
Wow! You really just might be his number one obsession!
This guy may not be able to make you happy. He might not feel happy himself. Even so, he doesn’t break up with you because he doesn’t want anyone else to have you.
So he keeps you around, hoping that things will eventually get better.
This kind of behavior is a sure way to keep a woman stuck in a relationship. Of course, that’s too bad for you.
But it also keeps him stuck in your relationship. Eventually, he may realize that it’s not working out between the two of you.
And then he has to face all of those fears that I was talking about earlier: the fear of being alone, the fear of losing control, and so on!
Until then, though, he makes sure you don’t give anyone else a chance.
17) Your boyfriend is afraid to make a change in his life
I can’t exactly blame your boyfriend for this one.
You know how, sometimes, you just want to stick with the status quo? So that nothing changes and everything remains the same.
Well, maybe your boyfriend is afraid to break up with you for exactly this reason.
Maybe his life is comfortable and predictable now. He doesn’t want to change that!
And the fact is… breaking up with you would change everything! If he broke up with you, he’d have to figure out what he’s going to do next.
And he might find that the changes aren’t all that comfortable or all that pleasant.
But they would certainly be necessary.
How do you know if your boyfriend is keeping you as an option?
Well, this one is tricky.
But here are a few signs that can help you figure out whether or not your boyfriend is keeping you as an option:
- He always makes excuses for why he can’t spend time with you.
- He flirts with other women in front of you (or behind your back).
- He refuses to show his vulnerable side to you.
- He blames you for the problems in your relationship.
- He talks about his other “options” with you.
- He makes you wait for him for long periods of time.
- He talks about how he’s going to break up with you but doesn’t actually do it.
- He avoids giving you any straight answers – even if you ask him directly!
Now, there are many more signs that can help us figure out why your boyfriend keeps you around.
But these are some of the most common ones that we see.
How do you know if you’re important to someone?
Look, your boyfriend may behave in a bad way with you because he doesn’t know better. Maybe he went through some sort of trauma in the past.
But, this doesn’t mean that you’re not important to him.
In fact, if you want to make sure, here are a few signs that tell you you are important to him:
- He tells you that he loves you;
- He showers you with compliments;
- He asks about your day and what went on in your life;
- He brings you something to eat;
- He wants your relationship to work out.
Of course, it’s possible that he’s just lying to you.
He might not actually love you after all. And he might not really want your relationship to work out.
That’s why you need more concrete evidence that he genuinely cares about you!
He keeps you around. Now what?
I touched on the hero instinct earlier – it’s the perfect remedy for the situation you’re facing.
Because once a man’s hero instinct is triggered, he won’t just keep you around. You’ll reach a part of him that no woman has ever managed to reach before.
And in return, he’ll be compelled to truly commit to you and love you like he’s never loved another woman.
So if you’re ready to take that plunge and reach new heights in your relationship, make sure to check out relationship expert James Bauer’s invaluable advice.
Click here to watch the excellent free video.
Who knows, maybe breaking up with him is not the best idea after all!
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
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