10 common reasons people run away from love

We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. Read our affiliate disclosure.

They made it really obvious that they like you.

But when you like them back, they retract and run back to their shell.

What in the world is happening, exactly? How can they chicken out when they’re the one who gave you the signals in the first place?

To help you figure out how this person ticks.

Here are 10 common reasons people run away from love

1) They got deeply hurt in the past

This usually happens to people who already had a lot of dating and relationships experience.

Maybe they got burnt badly by their ex—let’s say they got cheated on—and this left them with a scar that took a long time to heal. It gave them trust issues and they’re never the same again.

Because of this, they’re scared of falling in love with you even more because they don’t want to suffer the same fate.

They want to save a little something for themselves so they won’t give up on love completely.

So they run away to protect themselves from something that they really want.

It’s quite sad, really. So instead of quickly accusing them for being a player, try to see if this is really the reason they’re afraid of you.

2) They’re afraid they won’t be a good partner

In other words, they’re insecure.

But it could also be that they’re too idealistic and ambitious.

Some people—more specifically, men—want to be sure they can be a good partner before they enter a relationship, especially if they really like the girl.

This is partly society’s fault. We want our men to be financially secure, successful, fit, and capable of everything, don’t we?

And this scares a lot of men to commit. This happens to women, too, but to a lesser degree.

If they feel they’re still inadequate to be your partner, they’ll run away, whispering under their breath “One day, when I’m much better, I’ll be back.”

3) They don’t like how love makes them forget themself

We’ve all been there.

We fall in love then forget our goals and our friends and the rest of the world.

Maybe they are aware they’re like this—that they eventually revolve their life around the person they love—and they don’t want it to happen again.

This is usually the case if they just came out from a relationship and want to find themselves again. Or if they have a big life goal they want to accomplish and they don’t want distractions.

Basically, they want to focus on their life for now.

It’s unfair, that’s for sure. But their reason isn’t really lame. You don’t want to be with someone whose main source of happiness is you, do you?

4) They’re just testing you

If you know deep in your heart that they really like you, and then they retract when you express your love, well then…maybe they’re just testing you.

Maybe they’ve experienced the reasons mentioned above and they want to see how much you like them so they would know if it’s worth the trouble.

You see, they want to see the level of your interest and how you react when they “run away.”

If you reach out to them to ask what’s up or if you tell them you miss them, then they’d know you’re interested.

If you become angry or you cry, then they’d know you’re so into them.

If you don’t give a damn and act like nothing happened, then they’d know they mean nothing to you.

It’s a clever way to know a person’s interest and that’s why they’re running away from you.

5) They want to know if you’re worth it

Most men are unnecessarily complicated when they think about commitment.

What they really want is the BIG LOVE that can finally make them abandon all their fears when it comes to love and commitment…someone who they think is worth it.

As dating expert Carlos Cavallo explains in his free video, what men really want to feel is that they’ve found the absolute best woman for them…as if he has won the premiership of love.

If they keep running away, make them stay by making them feel that you’re truly the one.


Carlos can show you exactly how to do it in his new video.

You’ll learn several simple and genuine things you can do right now to stop them from playing around and finally choose you.

Check it out here.

6) They have a bad image of relationships

Some people are afraid of love and relationships because they’ve seen it destroy a lot of people.

It may have more impact on them if they’ve witnessed it when they’re younger and if it happened to someone very close to them like their parents or best friend.

Cheating, contempt, abuse, when witnessed first-hand from a lot of people can make us stop believing that true love is still possible.

It can make us think that love is just sweet at the beginning…but will turn sour in the end. Just look at Amber Heard and JD.

And so even if you’re giving them genuine love, they’ll question it.

If you’re starting to make their heart softer and they know they’re falling in love faster than the speed of light, they’ll run the other direction to “save” themselves from a life of hell that’s disguised as heaven.

7) They think playing hard to get is hot

They believe that “what you can’t have, you can’t resist.” so they want you to NOT have them….well not yet.

Basically, you’re dealing with someone who knows the game of seduction and thinks it will work for you. And it’s probably working or else you wouldn’t be reading this article.

They believe that if they don’t become too available once they “got you in the bag”, you’ll want more of them. Much more if they distance themselves from you.

And this is a sneaky move.

They’re using basic psychology here.

We want to chase— to “win” someone over—to feel that what we have is more valuable than what it really is. So it raises their value and makes them impatient, too.

Feel free to play along. It could be a fun game for two that could lead to something special. But watch out for real players who are just there to do the dance then leave you wanting.

8) They have a distorted image of love

They want your love to be like those in the movies, songs, books.

In other words, they want it to be a kind of tragedy.

They want to be that one person that you truly desire but you can’t have…who you’ll remember until you get married and grow old—the “true love” that got away.

They don’t want to play around, well not really. There are just some people who want to be unreachable muses.

And there are those who think that love that’s untouched by fights and the “ugly things” of relationships are more special.

More likely than not, people who are like this are narcissists and sadists who like it when “love” gets a bit painful. Because for them, it’s a sign of true passion.

A bit effed up but they do exist.

9) They don’t know what to do with your love

It’s possible that they have never experienced love before.

It’s also possible that they just don’t know what to do when something they want has finally come true—a sort of “Be careful what you wish for or you might just get it” kind of thing.

People like this are usually perfectionists. They want to take their time to figure out their next steps because they are scared of messing things up.

They want to make things right now that they know you both like each other.

So, they’re not really running away from you, they’re in their cave plotting a grand plan on what to do next—especially because they think what you have is truly special.

10) They are too in love with you…and it scares them

This is another effed-up reason but well, some people are just not ready for true love even if—or especially when— it’s already standing right in front of them.

Some people have love anxiety.

It could spring from various reasons, and are mostly rooted from childhood.

It could be that they have what we call Impostor Syndrome and they feel like you just fell in love with the “made-up” version of them, or it could be that they’ve placed you on a pedestal and they think it’s impossible that someone like you could like someone like them.

These are just two possibilities. But the point is, it’s very likely that them running away from you has nothing to do with you at all.

Some people are just scared when faced with true love.

What to do if you really like them

I know how frustrating it can be when you know someone is head over heels in love with you but runs back to their shell the moment you express your love.

But trust me, it’s not their intention to play with your heart.

Most of the time, they just don’t know what to do with your love. And that is why, you need to guide them if you really think there’s hope for the two of you.

Here are some ways you can encourage them to welcome your love instead of running away:

  • Don’t get offended right away. Based on the list above, it might not be about you.
  • If it’s really bothering you, tell them that you’re aware of what they’re doing and how it’s affecting you…but do it nicely.
  • Don’t confront them right away. Give it some time to settle. It just might scare them some more if they know you’re confrontational.
  • Don’t play their game. If they’re ignoring you, don’t ignore them back. Instead, treat them the same way. It might encourage them to finally make the right move.
  • If you’re certain they’re just messing with your heart because it’s been happening for a while now, it’s your turn to run away from them…and don’t look back. Until they acknowledge their bad behavior, you’re better off being alone.

Want advice specific to your situation?

There are possibly a million and one reasons why a person would run away from love. And while this list gives you the most common ones, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your specific situation.

That’s what I did recently.

I got perplexed when someone I know was so into me ran away when I showed equal interest.

I expected some generic advice about how some people are just not ready. But surprisingly, I got very in-depth, specific and practical advice about my specific situation.

Relationship Hero is where I found this special coach who helped turn things around for me. They are perfectly placed to help you with topics that are so complex for online articles to cover.

Relationship Hero is a hugely popular relationship coaching site because they provide solutions, not just talk.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice specific to your situation.

Click here to check them out.


When one runs away when you express your love, it’s only natural to take it personally.

You might feel you’re not good enough or you might wonder if you’re just being played.

Well, I’m here to tell you that it’s not usually the case, and most of all—it’s NOT because of you.

The one who chickens out or the one who’s playing with you is the one with a problem, and all you can do is wait.

Or, if you want to get proactive, you can guide them back to you by showing them that you don’t bite…and that you (and your love) are worth it.

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

Click here to get started.

The above link will give you $50 off your first session - an exclusive offer for Love Connection readers.

Did you like our article? Like me on Facebook to see more articles like this in your feed.