18 reasons why men disappear on women and come back

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Sometimes, things are going really well with a man, until he suddenly disappears on you.

You try to move on, but weeks later he suddenly comes back into your life.

Why do men do that?

What is the reason behind this behavior?

Here you will find out everything you need to know about this situation.

Why do guys disappear and then come back to you?

Let’s start with the gist of this article: why do guys disappear and then come back to you? There are many reasons for this:

1) He is dating multiple women

First and foremost, a reason a man might disappear and then come back to you is that he is dating multiple women at once.

Yes, I hate to break it to you, but you might not be the only one he is dating.

Some guys date more than one woman at once without telling the woman about what they are doing.

In that situation, he might disappear for a few days or weeks when things are getting more interesting with someone else, just to come back to you when things with someone else haven’t worked out.

I know it sounds horrible, and that’s because it is. Nobody should be treated like that.

It’s not okay for a man to be dating multiple women at the same time without telling them.

He should only be dating one woman at a time and not lie about it.

If you find out he lied, cut off contact with him immediately and don’t see him again until he has apologized and told the truth about what he was doing.

If you don’t do this, you might end up being used by him as his “backup” if something goes wrong with his current relationship.

How can you find out if a guy is seeing multiple women?

Ask him

One way to find out if a guy is seeing multiple women is to ask him.

I know, it’s easy for him to lie, but at least he will know you’re onto him if he is in fact lying.

How does he act when you mention the word relationship?

Guys who are seeing multiple women often get very weird when you mention the word relationship to them.

Unless they really don’t care about your feelings, he will refrain from giving you any false hopes and will shy away from anything relationship-related.

So: if a guy you have been seeing for a while still does not even like to talk about the idea of a relationship, something might be up.

Open communication can really help in that case!

He doesn’t text you a lot

I know, this is not really a good sign because some guys just aren’t very good at texting.

However, if you notice that there are only certain times of the day when he doesn’t text you back (and he’s not at work), there is a chance he might be seeing somebody else.

Of course, this sign is only relevant in combination with other signs, otherwise, it’s too vague.

He never mentions a future with you

Another sign that you might not be the only woman he is dating is when he never mentions a future with you.

If you are dating a guy and he doesn’t have any plans for a future together, you can possibly assume that there are other women in his life.

A guy who is seeing multiple women will often not really want to talk about the future, which means he will have trouble committing himself to one woman.

If he doesn’t want to talk about planning anything with you, it’s probably because he has already set up a secret relationship with someone else.

Of course, open communication can bring clarity to this issue. Maybe he just has a fear of commitment in general, and it has nothing to do with other women!

He never invites you to his house

It’s quite normal for guys to invite their girlfriends to their homes.

However, if he never invites you over to his place, this is a good sign that he might be seeing multiple women.

If he doesn’t really want to show off his house or apartment, it’s probably because there are other women in his life.

He hides his phone when he’s with you

This one is a hallmark sign of something fishy going on.

If your guy hides his phone when he’s with you, it’s probably because he doesn’t want you to see who he is texting.

So if your guy hides his phone when you are together, it’s most likely that there are other women in his life.

These are just a few signs that he might be seeing other women.

On a similar note:

2) He may be cheating on you

Another reason a man might disappear and then come back to you is that he is cheating on you.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that all men cheat on women or want to cheat on women.

I am just saying if a man suddenly disappears from your life and then comes back, he might be doing something else with another woman.

If you suspect your boyfriend is cheating on you, it’s best that you confront him about his behavior and ask him why he has been acting like this lately.

Maybe you are way off and his reason for disappearing and reappearing is completely different, but talking to him honestly will give you some clarity.

And if he did cheat?

It’s a good idea to talk about the cheating behavior and see if he is willing to change.

If he is unwilling to change, it might be best for you both to end the relationship and try again in the future.

Dealing with someone who cheated on you will be hard work. Unless you have a really strong foundation and lots of love for each other, it will be impossible to heal from this.

Even the most loving relationships struggle when trying to heal from cheating, so really think about whether or not it’s worth it for you.

3) You didn’t bring out his inner hero

One reason that a guy might disappear from your life and then come back is that you didn’t trigger his inner hero.

Let me explain:

There’s a new theory in the relationship world that’s causing quite a stir – it’s called the hero instinct.

Coined by relationship expert James Bauer, this fascinating concept finally explains how men really think and feel in relationships.

And it’s something most women have never even heard of.

According to James Bauer, men don’t actually need a lot to feel content in their relationships. In fact, what they need has nothing to do with sex.

Men have certain innate drivers. And when a woman comes along and triggers them, it causes a powerful response.

The result is a man who loves harder, commits wholeheartedly, and truly dedicates himself to the relationship.

So, how can you trigger your man’s hero instinct?

The easiest thing to do is to watch this simple and genuine video by James Bauer.

The truth is, once you understand how the hero instinct works, there’s no telling what heights your relationship can reach.

So if you want to give your man what he truly wants from you, make sure to check out James Bauer’s excellent video. In it, he reveals the exact texts and phrases you can use straight away.

Here’s a link to the free video again.

4) He got bored

Okay, this one will potentially make you angry, and for good reason!

One possibility why he disappeared and then reappeared in your life is because he simply got bored.

Now, I’m not saying that all men get bored of their significant others because most don’t.

But it is a possibility and something to consider if you are feeling suspicious.

If he disappeared for a week and then reappeared, you should speak to him about it.

Because if that’s the case, I think it’s best for you both to end the relationship before he does something drastic like break up with you.

However, he might also have gotten bored while away from you.

Now: this one will really make you mad, because the last thing you want is for a guy to come back to you because he had nothing better to do, right?

Unfortunately, that’s the case for some men.

They ended things because they didn’t really feel the spark, but now they’re bored and that’s why they reach out again.

If you think that this might be the case, I would seriously consider ending things with him.

Sure, as long as you know what you are doing, you’ll be fine, but you should respect yourself enough to know when it’s time to walk away.

5) He needs validation

This is another prime reason a guy might disappear and then come back to you: he needs validation.

Validation is something every human wants and needs, there’s no secret about that.

A man who can’t get his needs met, will often find a way to be around you in order to feel validated.

And that’s where he’ll disappear for a few days and then reappear again.

If this is the case, I would suggest you start talking about these issues with him if you’ve been together for a while.

You should be able to talk about these things openly with each other and see if there are any underlying issues that might be causing him to disappear when he feels like he doesn’t have any validation.

Otherwise, I would really consider ending things with him because what he’s doing is not healthy and it will only end up hurting both of you in the long run.

But his need for validation might not be the reason he is leaving, it could also be the reason he is coming back out of the blue!

Perhaps he was living his life, minding his own business and then he suddenly felt the urge to be validated.

Now, what is a better validation than to hit you up again and have you respond right away, even though he disappeared from your life?

If this is the case, I think it would be best if you end things with him because he’s not really thinking clearly.

I want to make it clear that I am not a fan of playing games in relationships. I believe that you should be your authentic self and not act as if you’re not interested when you like that person.

However, when a guy comes back out of the blue, don’t immediately let him know that you missed him and would be down to hang out again.

As much as you want to, don’t make it that easy for him to get validation.

Just stay nonchalant for a bit until you see whether or not he is actually making an effort this time.

If he’s actually trying to make an effort and communicate with you, then you have a chance of working things out.

However, if he is just coming back for validation and then disappears again, I would suggest that you end things.

6) He wasn’t ready the first time around

This one is important, as it might mean that this guy is not as mean as you thought.

One reason that a guy might disappear and then come back into your life is that he wasn’t ready for a relationship the first time around.

He might have thought that he wasn’t good enough for you or maybe he just didn’t want to commit.

Believe it or not, there are guys out there who respect your feelings and will try to remove themselves from the equation before they hurt you.

Why could he not have been ready to commit?

He has been hurt in the past and is still healing

A big reason a man might need some time before being able to commit to a relationship is that he has been hurt in the past.

He might have had a bad relationship with his ex-girlfriend and therefore is afraid of being hurt again.

Perhaps he was with someone else, who never really loved him and then felt like he needed to be alone before getting back out there again.

If he has truly been hurt by something that happened in his past, and he talks to you about it openly, then I think that you should forgive him for it and give him another chance.

Sometimes, healing takes some time and it can feel as if you’re not ready for a commitment yet.

He wanted to focus on his career

Another reason he might not have been ready for a relationship yet is that he wanted to focus on his career.

Maybe he was finally able to start working for the company that he wanted to work for and wanted to focus on getting there instead of being in a relationship.

He might have needed time to get his career going and then see if you were the person he wanted to be with.

A career is important to many men, so this could be a plausible reason he wasn’t ready yet.

He didn’t want to be monogamous

Maybe he just got out of a long-term relationship or he’s just enjoying the single life, but a reason he might not have been ready to commit to a relationship with you is that he didn’t want to be monogamous.

He might want to date other women before getting into a serious relationship.

If this is the case, I would suggest that you make sure that he’s ready for a serious relationship before you try to get back with him.

Should you get back together now?

Well, if his reason for disappearing and reappearing truly was because he wasn’t ready yet and didn’t want to hurt you, and he feels ready now, I don’t see why you shouldn’t give him a chance.

Of course, it all depends on you and how you’re feeling about all of this.

7) He is lonely

Another reason he disappeared and came back out of the blue is that he got lonely without you.

I know, that’s not necessarily the best reason to come back to someone, but it’s actually fairly common.

I think that it’s important to realize that sometimes, people are just lonely and they need a friend.

If you’re on the fence about whether or not you should get back with him, maybe talk to him about this and see what he has to say.

If he really is ready for a relationship now and he’s willing to take it slow, then I say give him another chance.

But if you feel like he’s only using you in order to not feel lonely and he might bounce again at the first opportunity, then look out for your feelings!

8) He wants to keep his options open

You’re not gonna like this one. A reason he might have reached out to you again after a while is because he wants to keep his options open.

He wants to be ready for any scenario that he could possibly encounter in his life, and he doesn’t want to get committed to one person just yet.

By reaching out to you, he’s making sure that you are still an option for him that he could revert back to.

Don’t let him treat you like that! As long as he doesn’t put in any actual effort, you shouldn’t validate his ego and let him know that he could be with you anytime he wants.

9) He just wants to have fun

This goes back to him being bored. One reason a guy will reappear randomly is because he just wants to have fun with you.

You will probably notice it immediately as he won’t invite you to any actual dates, he just wants you to come over and “watch Netflix”.

If you’re going to do this, make sure you are aware of the fact that he is not being serious about you.

There’s nothing wrong with having a little bit of fun with him, but don’t expect him to develop any feelings!

10) He feels guilty for ghosting you

Perhaps this guy actually feels guilty for ghosting you, and that’s why he’s reappearing in your life.

Some guys are just not comfortable with the idea of hurting someone’s feelings and they will feel guilty for doing so.

If you think that this is the case, then having a little chat with him would be really helpful to get him to open up.

Figure out what his intentions are now so that you know where you stand.

I mentioned this fascinating concept earlier: the hero instinct. When a man’s inner hero is triggered, he’s more likely to commit to you and has pure intentions.

Just by knowing the right things to say to him, you’ll open a part of him that no woman has ever reached before.

And the best way to do so is by watching this free video by James Bauer. In it, he’ll reveal simple phrases and texts you can use to make your man truly yours.

Here’s a link to the excellent video again.

11) You’re not a priority to him

This one might hurt a bit – he might be disappearing and reappearing because, to be frank, you’re just not a priority to him.

He doesn’t want to hurt your feelings, but he doesn’t want to get into a relationship either.

There’s nothing wrong with this, but you should be aware of his intentions in order to not get hurt.

You see, you deserve to be with someone who makes you a priority.

12) He actually wants you in his life

Last but not least, I have some good news: he might be reappearing in your life because he actually wants to be with you.

You see, sometimes it takes some time and space for a man to realize what he had.

So when he reappears, that means he’s realized what he had and wants to be with you.

If this is the case, you should know that he’s interested in you and not just having fun.

You will immediately notice this by the way he makes an effort to make you feel special.

And the best part?

You will not be wondering where you stand with him, as he will actually make his intentions quite clear!

What are other reasons men just disappear?

There are some other reasons men just disappear from one day to the next.

They may or may not come back to you, depending on the situation:

13) You were a rebound and he finally realized it

One reason could be that he finally realized that you were a rebound and that he is not over his ex yet.

This is something that can make a guy disappear from one day to the next without warning.

14) There was a deal-breaker

Another reason could be that there was a deal-breaker, something that happened, or something you said or did that crossed a line with him.

Usually, it would be nice to know but some guys find it awkward to talk about and will just disappear instead.

15) Things were moving too fast for him

Guys often disappear when things are moving too fast for them.

Maybe they like you a lot, but things are getting really serious, really quickly, so they panic and disappear.

16) He had feelings for you and didn’t want to

I know it sounds silly, but a reason for a guy to just disappear is that he had feelings for you and didn’t want to.

This is something that is hard to talk about and even harder to deal with.

Especially when both of you have feelings for one another.

If that is his reason for disappearing, there is a good chance he will be back eventually, once he realized what he is losing.

17) He is shallow

Some guys are just shallow, I’m sorry to break it to you. That can also be a reason why they disappear out of the blue.

Something didn’t fit their “perfect” expectations and so they dipped.

Honestly, if that’s the case, then good riddance! You’re better off without him.

18) You made him jealous

One thing that can trigger a guy to disappear is if you awakened his jealous side of him.

This is often when guys realize they have feelings for a woman, and maybe that made him freak out.

So: if you made him jealous and then he disappeared, that could be a reason!

What should you do next?

Now you’re probably wondering what you should do with all of that information.

Well, first and foremost, you should focus on yourself.

You see, the reason why a guy disappeared and then came back to you is not that important.

What’s important is how you treat yourself in the process and how you react now.

Usually, you will know a man’s intentions from the way he treats you and the amount of effort he makes.

If you have to wonder if he likes you, there is a chance he doesn’t.

Don’t lose yourself over a man, try to stay rooted in who you are!

And if you want him back?

I touched on the hero instinct earlier – it’s the perfect remedy for the situation you’re facing.

Why?

Because once a man’s hero instinct is triggered, he’ll only have eyes for you. You’ll reach a part of him that no woman has ever managed to reach before.

And in return, he’ll be compelled to commit to you and love you like he’s never loved another woman.

So if you’re ready to take that plunge and reach new heights in your relationship, make sure to check out relationship expert James Bauer’s invaluable advice.

Click here to watch the excellent free video.

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

Click here to get started.