I was having a conversation with one of my guy friends the other day, and we were discussing various career opportunities coming my way.
I was pretty excited, and all I could talk about was work.
Then out of nowhere, he said that he’d love to meet a girl like me that is ambitious, talented, and hard-working.
We then ended up discussing why men were attracted to career-driven women, not necessarily rich but someone who can stand on their own and thinks for themselves.
With sound research and sage advice from someone from the male species, I present to you ten reasons why men are attracted to women with a career in particular:
An ambitious and work-orientated woman is a confident woman.
She knows what she wants, and she knows how to get it.
Women with careers have already decided to forge their paths in life and are aware that, to do so, they’ll need drive, self-motivation, and determination.
They might still have insecurities – we all do – but they aren’t the ones that hold her back from living her life.
In fact, they are the very traits that help propel her forward.
My friend said he is attracted to women who know their worth.
He’s not into a girl who views their boss as a little too scary and is scared of confrontation. He wants a woman who is confident in herself, and doesn’t have to let a man tell her what to do.
2) Ambition Is Sexy
Ladies, do yourselves a favor and flaunt your ambition.
My friend talked about how sexy it is when a woman knows what she wants and does everything she can to get it.
So tell your man about your wildest dreams, your plans to climb up the corporate ladder, or maybe your childhood daydream of running a marathon.
Moreover, we’re all meant for different career paths:
Some might become a doctor or lawyer for the underserved; others become a CEO; while others get into marketing to focus on their passion.
Whatever your job is, career plays a crucial role in a relationship’s compatibility as it dictates priorities, commitments, and long-term aspirations.
Drive indicates passion. Show your man that you want to make the most out of your life, and he would love to be a part of it.
Men want to see that a woman wants to be with them, not rely on them.
3) They Feel Special When They Fit into Your Busy Schedule
This was a big one for my friend. He doesn’t want a needy or clingy girl. He said those types of girls are the worst.
And I know you’ve heard it repeatedly:
Don’t make your partner your whole world. There’s more to life than love. And your man knows that.
Men respect the hustle.
It’s hard to be with someone who isn’t as equally and deeply invested in their professional endeavors because they wouldn’t understand the busy schedule and long hours.
When you and your partner have similar levels of commitment to aspects outside your relationship, such as career, you can find common ground for doing things together.
I can recall many stories from my friends about their former twin flames – ones I wouldn’t necessarily call failed relationships but stories that just didn’t end with a happily ever after.
These stories all share a common theme: lack of quality time.
Now if you or your partner has quality time as one of your top love languages, you might want to pay close attention.
Too much or too little commitment to your work is a warning sign in any relationships. It’s important to keep a balance.
While this article is about the benefits of being an ambitious woman, you also don’t want to focus solely on work.
Whenever my friends had planned on landing a promotion, they almost always forgot that they left their relationship on the back burner. Yes, I’ve been guilty of this.
Believe it or not, your man looks forward to seeing you. They crave a “date night” with their girl boss and not another “boys night” weekly.
4) Men Like the Chase
I’ve read lots and lots about this, and my friend confirmed it the other day.
He said that he loves the chase. Often times, when he suddenly “wins” the woman, he loses interest.
Here’s the truth (that maybe men themselves won’t admit): Men want what they could possibly have but with a challenge. They want the thrill of a chase. The value of a golden opportunity. They want at the tip of their fingers but can’t grasp.
This may sound superficial and unfortunate, but our brains are actually hardwired to perceive that too-good-to-be-true opportunities are often just that – too good to be true.
That’s why we work hard. And when you showcase yourself as a high-value woman, with no faking or playing hard to get whatsoever, high-caliber men will do what it takes to win you over – for life.
5) Independent Women Refuse to Fit into Society’s Stereotypical Box
Ever wondered why front-page headlines are always “Men Would Rather Marry Their Secretary”, “Too Smart to Marry”, or “Here Dumbs the Bride”?
I couldn’t be bothered. The media likes to leverage the power of stereotypes.
Speaking with conviction doesn’t mean you’re bossy; getting your point across and making sure your voice is heard shouldn’t make you look intimidating, and being in your hot girl era doesn’t mean you’re out of someone’s league.
So please refuse to shrink yourself to fit a stereotypical box.
Since time immemorial, men have been labeled as the breadwinners while women were the homemakers.
But who says you can’t make your own bank? Who says you belong in the kitchen?
Think again if you think it’s cute that you don’t know how to swap light bulbs.
From a man’s perspective, it would be nice to know that he doesn’t have to do all the dirty work and mechanical tasks around the house.
In the end, sexual attraction is biological, and social stereotypes have nothing to do with it.
The truth is, men are attracted to an independent woman who follows her passion and knows what she wants. The woman who says it how it is and dreams bigger than the sky.
6) The Woman Looks Mysterious, Not Needy
Just between you and me: This is one of my top dating secrets.
Whenever I go on a first date, I never say everything about myself – just enough to keep them intrigued.
I brush through things I enjoy, whether hobbies or interests, but I don’t go into much detail or else they might think I’m quite the oversharer.
You don’t want to seem like someone who can’t keep things to herself.
When you’re done with most of the “getting to know” conversations, you’ll need to find other topics to engage in or else you’ll bore each other to death.
This is a good time to talk about what you do for a living and what you wish to do for the rest of your life.
A clever woman is one that a man would be more than happy to introduce to his friends and family.
Furthermore, women who are busy (not too busy!) are not always available.
They’re more mysterious, independent, and can’t be easily accessible.
And when you have access to someone all the time, they start to lose their luster.
They become routine. They’re just there and are no longer someone you look forward to spending time with.
7) Life Doesn’t Get Boring
Similar to the previous point, when things get too comfortable or familiar, they almost become boring.
You might get caught off-guard when “boys night” happens four times a week, and your boyfriend no longer invites you.
This usually means that your man wants some alone time – and that’s okay!
If you properly communicate, you can always find that sweet spot between alone time and quality time together.
Another key thing to remember is that new is always more exciting.
You might be falling into the routine of eating at the same places after work or maybe you’ve made your job your personality.
Try something different – preferably by yourself- since you don’t always need to do everything with your significant other.
Get a side hustle, take a class, or hang out with friends.
This will make you ambitious and interesting. Your man won’t get bored because there is something new going on in your life.
8) Career-Driven Women Talk Straight
Women have a reputation for using indirect forms of communication, dropping hints expecting that the man could read their mind.
Men appreciate a woman who can get straight to the point. No beating around the bush.
Admittedly, this has been one of my faults in my past relationships, especially in my early 20s.
Not only was I going through the early stages of my career, but I was still getting to myself and was in the process of strengthening my convictions.
I didn’t know what I wanted.
Even deciding on a restaurant to eat or what movie to watch seemed hard.
As I grew up, I realized that sometimes you just have to make a decision and stick with it.
Learn to be direct and sharp with your words and you’ll not only become more confident, but men will be more attracted to you as well.
9) Each One Pulls Their Weight
This was another big talking point for my friend. When he thinks about the future and a potential family, he doesn’t want the stress of being the sole breadwinner. He doesn’t think he can handle that.
This is why he would like a woman who makes her own money and can contribute to living expenses.
I tend to agree with this. I believe it’s important to be an independent woman and to know how to get your money on the table.
You don’t want to be in a relationship with a man who just uses you for money but doesn’t pull his own weight.
It’s the same for men.
Before settling down with your “forever” person, make sure you’re both on the same page regarding preferred lifestyles, family, work, and non-negotiables.
For example, I’ve heard of so many couples parting ways when they find out that one would love to have a child while the other does not see themselves becoming a parent.
10) Maturity Comes With Experience
Every man likes an experienced woman. She’s not only knowledgeable about sex and what she likes, but she also knows what she wants in life as well.
There’s no games, no pretending, no playing hard to get.
Those old-school dating tactics are out the window.
This woman is confident and knows how to be a lady.
Men want someone who doesn’t need to play all the time, someone who can have serious, deep conversations, and someone who can be there for them when they need someone to lean on.
A lot of maturity comes with leaving your childhood behind – and having a career means you’ve done a lot growing up.
When you don’t abandon self-improvement, your self-esteem grows, and everything else snowballs. Before you know it, everyone wants to get to know you.
But please never lose your childlike heart. Don’t ignore your inner child. Keep your sense of wonder and enthusiasm alive, even for the most minor things. In the same spirit, find someone that you can grow old with but who make you feel young forever.
If there’s one thing I want you to take away from this article, you should chase your passion and not a person.
While “looks”, in a sense, matter, they’re not the be-all and end-all of a romantic relationship.
When you focus on your career and personal development, trust me when I say someone good will follow. Just give yourself time.
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