What’s the deal with my boyfriend’s clinginess? Your man is suffocating you for 17 reasons

We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. Read our affiliate disclosure.

 

Couples often go through phases, but one thing many women find themselves struggling with is the clinginess of their significant other.

There are a number of reasons why your partner might be so eager to hold onto you all day and night – here are 17 reasons to start with.

So, let’s get down to it.

1) Your boyfriend is afraid of losing you

If your guy is acting all clingy, it’s probably because he’s afraid you won’t stay with him.

He might be put off by previous relationships that ended in heartbreak or he might not know how to get rid of his lingering feelings (maybe his ex-girlfriend broke up with him and now he’s not sure how to move on).

The anxiety that the relationship has caused in your boyfriend is enough to bring out a clingy side.

In addition to that, men are clingy because they don’t feel like the woman they have is enough for them.

Your guy might feel insecure and just want to make sure you’re sating all his needs.

If he’s looking to keep getting more in your relationship, he might start to push away your friends and family.

These people always think the worst, and the only way they will stop feeling that way is if they keep a tight grip on their partner.

They’re afraid that something might happen if they let go, and all that attention is just a way to make sure nothing does.

2) Your boyfriend is jealous

Maybe your boyfriend has trust issues, especially if he’s been cheated on in the past.

If you’re dating a guy who’s insecure about his looks or feels like he’s inferior to the guys that are interested in you, then he might be clingy out of jealousy.

He is jealous of anyone who even looks at you or shows interest in you in any way, especially if that person seems more attractive than him (as most girls do).

Some men are even jealous of their partner’s other relationships, friends, and activities – but don’t know how to let it go.

They want to feel powerful and loved in every area of their life, so they end up being controlling as a way to feel that love and power.

3) Bring out his inner hero

 There’s a new theory in the relationship world that goes right to the heart of why some guys are clingy – it’s called the hero instinct.

Coined by relationship expert James Bauer, this fascinating concept finally explains how men really think and feel in relationships.

And it’s something most women have never even heard of.

According to James Bauer, men don’t actually need a lot to feel content in their relationships. In fact, what they need has nothing to do with sex.

Men have certain innate drivers. And when a woman comes along and triggers them, it causes a powerful response. The result is a man who loves harder, commits wholeheartedly, and truly dedicates himself to the relationship.

So, how can you trigger your man’s hero instinct?

The easiest thing to do is to watch this simple and genuine video by James Bauer.

The truth is, once you understand how the hero instinct works, there’s no telling what heights your relationship can reach.

So if you want to give your man what he truly wants from you, make sure to check out James Bauer’s excellent video. In it, he reveals the exact texts and phrases you can use straight away.

Here’s a link to the free video again

4) Your boyfriend is insecure about his self-esteem

Some men have low self-esteem and are afraid to make decisions for themselves, but once they are in a relationship they cling to their girlfriends because they don’t know what to do without them.

There is nothing wrong with this – most men, women, and couples need help making decisions for themselves at some point in their lives.

However, it’s important to look after themselves, learn how to make their own decisions, and become more independent in order to save themselves from becoming clingy.

5) Your boyfriend needs reassurance that you’re truly committed to the relationship

Sometimes clingy partners are looking for the same thing you are – a partner who’s willing to make a long-term commitment. And they want to make sure that you are all for themselves.

They’re seeking reassurance that your relationship is still going strong, and they want you to prove it by spending more time with them.

Moreover, clingy and insecure men have a hard time being without their significant others, but when they’re around you, they often panic about how to behave.

They might feel as though they need to spend all their time proving themselves to you and showing you just how much they care.

Men who are insecure need more reassurance that you’re happy with them – and staying by your side will make it easier for them to collect that reassurance.

6) Your boyfriend wants more attention from you

Some men want their partner’s full attention – which is often difficult to attain when you’re caring for your family, friends, etc.

Sometimes this is out of love and caring as he wants you to spend more time with him, but sometimes it’s out of control and he gets jealous if you’re spending too much time on yourself.

If your boyfriend is spending a lot of time with you and doesn’t like the amount of time that you are spending on other things (i.e. working, doing chores, etc.), then this may be a cause of the clingy behavior.

7) Your boyfriend loves you too much

If you thought your guy was just crazy about you, maybe it’s true.

He might really love you and try to do everything he can to show you that he wants to be with you forever.

Here’s why I mentioned this fascinating concept earlier: the hero instinct. When a man’s inner hero is triggered, he’s more likely to overcome his insecurities and be less clingy.

Just by knowing the right things to say to him, you’ll open a part of him that no woman has ever reached before.

And the best way to do so is by watching this free video by James Bauer. In it, he’ll reveal simple phrases and texts you can use to make your man truly yours.

Here’s a link to the excellent video again.

8) Your boyfriend is confused

Your boyfriend may be confused about your feelings – and he’s trying to figure out what they are.

Clingy guys usually get that way because they can’t get a handle on where the relationship is headed or what it means to their partner.

They think that things could change four times within the same day and that time could reboot the drama all over again.

So instead of letting you go, he trails you around everywhere hoping that something will go wrong so he can “help save things.”

However, the clinginess is often a reflection of his own insecurities and his need for reassurance.

His clingy behavior should serve as an invitation to you to talk about your future plans together and make the time apart from work.

9) Your boyfriend thinks you are cheating

If your boyfriend is always suspicious of what you’re up to, it might be because he doesn’t trust you.

Sometimes when guys are clingy, it’s because they think their girlfriends are cheating.

If he makes constant comparisons of where you are and who you hang around with, it might be your partner worries you’ve lost interest in them or are cheating behind their back.

Maybe your partner is just afraid that you’ll leave them for a richer, hotter, more interesting person, and they need to hold onto you all the way.

They cling because they don’t want you to leave and find someone better.

10) You are his first relationship

You are his first girlfriend, and he thinks he’ll never find anyone like you again if you don’t stay together forever and ever.

It’s hard for a guy when he meets his first girlfriend.

It’s hard to believe, but some people have never really loved anyone before.

If your partner has never been in love before, they may be afraid that you would break their heart for the first time and that it would be impossible for them to find someone else after that happens.

11) Your boyfriend doesn’t know how to communicate his feelings

We all communicate our feelings in different ways.

Some men are more comfortable displaying their emotions rather than talking about them.

As a result, they become over-emotional and clingy “when they don’t know how to express what’s going on inside”. This is often due to a lack of communication and using too many emotional words.

The best way to help your boyfriend learn how to communicate his feelings is by teaching him the importance of expressing his thoughts and feelings rather than acting on impulse.

For example, when he needs support say: “I understand how you feel” instead of: “Oh stop being so needy!”

12) Your boyfriend needs your help with something out of the relationship

Men who are clingy because they’re seeking your support with something outside of their relationship will often use guilt and manipulation to get you to help them on this project or for that matter.

He might claim that he can’t make it without you, and he’ll beg you to stay close until you finally do what he needs.

13) Your boyfriend wants to control you

Many men have a need to be the boss.

If your guy always makes it clear that he wants to be in charge of the relationship, it might be because he doesn’t trust you with his own feelings.

If he has good reasons for being so controlling, then it’s something that you can work on together.

14) Your boyfriend is hoping to rekindle the romance

No matter how much your relationship has grown stale, clingy men are not capable of letting go.

Your boyfriend is probably no different. He might be trying to keep you interested because he wants you to come back to him.

No matter which way the relationship is going, some clingy men think the best way to keep their girlfriends interested is by smothering them with attention.

They can’t accept that their love isn’t enough to hold things together, so they do all sorts of crazy things in hopes of making them give in.

15) Your boyfriend is trying to prove that you belong to him

Some men believe that if they treat a woman well, she will change her mind and want to be with him forever.

But the truth is that “treating them well” usually involves following them around everywhere they go, calling or texting at all hours of the day or night, and not leaving them alone until they give in and agree to another try at dating again.

Some men mistake persistence for love.

When you say “no,” he becomes strongly convinced that you need to be persuaded so much that he won’t even go back down to a light tap on the shoulder.

He’ll just keep pushing and bugging you until he gets a yes. In his mind, persistence is the one thing keeping him from losing you forever.

16) Your boyfriend is trying to be the cool guy

Some clingy men see dating as a competition, and they can’t let other guys beat them in a game of wit and charm.

So instead of leaving you alone, he’s using his clinginess to make sure you don’t end up with someone else. He wants to come out on top so he can brag about how he “won her over.”

17) He’s trying to make his ex-girlfriend jealous

I’ve never met an overly clingy man who wasn’t putting on a show for others.

He does things like bum-rush your date because he knows how it would make his ex-girlfriend (who dumped him) feel.

The clingy man is hoping that his ex-girlfriend will become so jealous of other women that she comes crawling back to him.

She probably was the one who wanted things to end in the first place, and now she’s being forced into a corner by him.

What do you do when your partner is too clingy?

Many of us have been in a relationship with someone who seems to be excessively clingy or needy.

Maybe they’re constantly telling you how much they love and need you, want to be around you all the time, or always feeling the need to touch. These relationships are often hard.

In dealing with this issue, a good first step is to recognize what’s causing it.

If it’s your partner, you should see a professional counselor help them learn how to manage their emotions and behaviors.

If you’re the one being clingy, your first step is to recognize how your own insecurities are causing you to act this way.

You need to be able to set proper boundaries and trust that your partner will respect them. Then you can work on discarding the negative thoughts and feelings that are causing the problem.

Final thoughts

One thing that we must remember about clinginess is that it doesn’t always mean that something is wrong in your relationship.

Sometimes, it just means that your guy is trying to keep the relationship in good shape.

If he’s always making an effort to impress you and do the little things that make you happy, then it might be a good sign. He wants to have a good relationship with you.

In my own experience, I touched on the hero instinct earlier – it’s the perfect remedy for the situation you’re facing.

Why?

Because once a man’s hero instinct is triggered, he’ll only have eyes for you. You’ll reach a part of him that no woman has ever managed to reach before.

And in return, he’ll be compelled to commit to you and love you like he’s never loved another woman.

So if you’re ready to take that plunge and reach new heights in your relationship, make sure to check out relationship expert James Bauer’s invaluable advice.

Click here to watch the excellent free video.

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

Click here to get started.