There’s nothing worse than being ignored, especially when the person ignoring you is someone you thought you had a magical, romantic connection with.
One day everything is going great, and the next it feels like you’ve been ghosted.
How do you know when you’ve been ghosted? And is being ignored always a sign that the relationship is going south?
Avoidance can mean many things. Maybe he’s falling in love with you and doesn’t know how to act on it.
Maybe he’s considering ending things with you. Maybe he’s just busy and hasn’t had time to respond to you yet.
Below are the 20 reasons why a guy might be ignoring you:
1) He’s Busy
Ignoring you isn’t always because he doesn’t want to be with you anymore. It could just be because he’s preoccupied with other things.
If you’re texting him in the middle of the day, there’s a good chance he’s just caught up at work, doing other things.
If you text him at night and he doesn’t respond, he might be in the middle of relaxing and he’s just looking to spend some time on his own.
If you’re feeling stressed and a little insecure with what’s going on, you can always ask him and see what’s keeping him.
If he’s really just busy, he’ll have no problems telling you this to ease your mind a little bit.
Bear in mind that it’s not normal for people to respond as soon as you text them. You might also want to calibrate your expectations a little bit.
2) He’s Preoccupied With Other People
And not in a bad way. He’s not necessarily ignoring you either – it just means he’s conscientious about how he spends time with others and wants to be fully present when he’s around people that he cares about.
Instead of being on his phone or having his mind elsewhere, he’s actually there bonding with people he’s currently with.
This in itself is actually a pretty good sign.
If you find that he really takes the time to interact with his friends and family and be fully present, instead of checking his phone consistently, it’s likely he’ll give you the same kind of attention too.
But if your experience of him is that he’s always on his phone, and yet he fails to respond to you for hours on end – there might be something else there entirely.
3) He Needs Some Space
A lot of people interpret wanting space as a surefire sign of wanting to separate, but this couldn’t be further from the truth.
People who value their personal space and alone time will ask for space from time to time even when things are going incredibly well.
He’s not tired of you – he just wants some time to himself. He’s not uninterested in talking – he’s just looking to recharge and feel like himself again.
If you’re dating a guy who is particularly introverted, it’s highly likely that he’d want some time to himself to breathe just a little bit.
The next time you call or text your guy and you find yourself talking to a brick wall, take a step back and consider his needs. Maybe he’s just trying to catch his breath before interacting with you again.
4) He’s Trying To End Things With You
On the other side of things, he might be asking for space because he wants to end things with you. One way to distinguish between the two is by asking yourself how he’s been.
If he constantly avoids talking to you or seeing you in person and even makes up elaborate excuses for why he can’t see you in the future, there’s a good chance that he’s preparing to end things with you.
Look at his actions and the intentions behind them.
When you text him for weeks on end, does it feel like he’s not trying to reciprocate affection? Does it seem like you’re just going on fight after fight?
Without any courage to actually break things up with you, he might just be dragging it out until you call it quits.
If you’re having a hard time understanding his intentions, don’t hesitate to ask him what’s up.
This will give him the opportunity to explain his absences and come clean if he’s really looking to separate.
5) He’s Upset Over Something
A guy who’s giving you the silent treatment might be mulling over something.
You might have done or said something that deeply hurt him and now he’s not entirely sure on how to act.
Guys are socialized to keep things to themselves; he might be yearning for some affection or reassurance from you but he’s not entirely sure how to go about it.
If you feel like this is the case, just checking on him is kind enough. Ask him how he’s feeling especially after a fight, disagreement, or anything that might have caused uncertainty or anxiety in him.
On the other hand, he might be upset about something else entirely. Maybe something at work is keeping him preoccupied and he’d rather think about it (or let it wash over him) until he’s in the mood to talk again.
Either way, he’ll appreciate you reaching out as a gesture of compassion.
6) He Doesn’t Enjoy Being Around Your Friends
When he’s ignoring you, he’s not necessarily ignoring you – maybe he’s avoiding the people around you.
Do you often hang out with your friends with him?
Does he seem comfortable when he’s around your friends? Look at how he’s acting around you and how he behaves around your friends.
Does he act sweet and open when it’s just the two of you and kind of avoidant and closed off when you’re around other people?
Knowing this can help you figure out what he’s really trying to move away from.
If you think he’s feeling a bit cautious around your friends, pull him aside for a conversation. He’ll surely appreciate that you care about him enough to consider his needs and comfort.
7) He’s Probably Hiding Something
There are many reasons why a guy might want to ignore you. And one of those reasons might be a lot simpler than you think: he’s hiding something.
He’s hiding from you because he has a secret. The longer he goes on without talking to you, the longer he can keep this secret to himself and avoid the risks of being revealed or slipping up.
If your guy is suddenly ignoring you as if from nowhere, you can always ask him what’s going on. If he seems a little squirrely and a lot more avoidant than before, it’s fair to assume that there’s something he’s keeping from you.
Secrets aren’t all that bad. Maybe he’s experiencing massive problems in his personal life and he’d rather keep it a secret than burden you with it.
There are a hundred different things he could be keeping from you; not all of them have to be bad in nature.
If you really care about him, all you have to do is ask.
8) He’s Ignoring You For Friends
For some guys, their friends are the most important thing in their lives to the point that their opinions of the girl can impact the way he feels.
What is your relationship like with his friends? Have you even met them yet? Have you taken the time to get to know him?
Before you, there was him and his buddies.
You coming into his life might have unsettled their night-outs and little boyish traditions.
If you’re the one thing keeping him from spending time with them, there could be a possibility that his friends are influencing him to spend less time with you.
His friends might be asking him to put you on the sideline and put them first. This might be unsettling at first but it doesn’t have to get ugly.
For starters, you could assimilate with his pack; they are his friends after all.
9) He’s Shy
Have you ever been so anxious that you were frozen to do anything?
This guy might be experiencing the same with you.
Even the loudest, most outgoing people can be disarmed when they’re interacting with someone they’re keenly interested in; it’s not personal!
There are some tell-tale signs when a guy is ignoring you because he’s shy or afraid to make mistakes.
Oftentimes this might come off as sending mixed signals: on chat, he’s bubbly and energetic but in person, he might be a lot more reserved.
If you want to take the relationship further with a shy guy, it’s worth considering that maybe you should make the first move first.
He will likely stay shy and apprehensive until he has a better understanding of how you’re feeling.
10) He’s Embarrassed
Have you considered the possibility that your man is embarrassed about something?
As we said earlier, men aren’t always the best when it comes to expressing themselves or talking about things that may be bothering them.
Some men — not all — feel like they have to keep up a certain image at all times, especially if he’s still in that initial courting stage with you.
So if it seems like he’s ignoring you, it might be that there’s something bothering him.
Maybe he hasn’t dated a woman like you in a long time (or ever), and maybe he thinks he’s not good enough to be with you.
Talk to him and reach out. Give him the chance to say what’s on his mind, while making him feel that he’s safe to express himself when he’s with you.
11) He Is Interested In Someone Else
Maybe the reason why your guy is ignoring you is that he isn’t actually your guy.
While you’re at home checking your phone, waiting for his messages, and wondering why he’s not replying, he might be on his phone chatting away with someone else, or worse: he might be out with her right this second.
Think back and ask yourself if there was ever any history of suspicious behavior with him, or if it ever seemed like he wasn’t as faithful to you as he claimed.
12) He Thinks You’re Too Good For Him
The ideal man knows what he wants and knows that he deserves to have it.
This is the usual “alpha male” behavior, and that might be the kind of guy you recognize from movies and shows.
But most guys — normal guys with normal careers and aspirations — don’t always have that kind of confidence and self-belief, and when they start dating a woman who they feel is absolutely amazing, they might start doubting themselves to the point that they break it off before it ever really begins.
It’s totally possible that your man thinks you’re too good for him, and instead of embarrassing himself any further, he just wants to save himself the possible pain and end it.
Maybe he thinks it’s just a matter of time until you realize that you can do way better than him, so he wants to end it on his own terms.
13) You’re Getting Too Close
As we all know, men aren’t always the best with emotions.
They don’t have the same social circles and support structures that women do, and some men are taught to survive (emotionally) on their own, without relying on anyone else.
This is why for some men, the simple act of getting too emotionally close with another person can be frightening and off-putting, enough to make them want to push you away.
You need to show him that there’s no harm in trusting you with his heart.
Be gentle with him and prove somehow that you’re not going to leave just because you know how he feels. Give him the reassurance he needs, and he’ll be yours again.
14) He’s Concerned Over How You Dress
You might not realize it, but your man might be judging the way you dress whenever you two go out.
As a man, the topic of what women wear can be difficult to bring up, especially in this day and age.
He doesn’t want to be the jerk who tells you what you should and shouldn’t wear.
But just because he doesn’t say anything about it doesn’t mean he’s always okay with the way you dress.
He might have different standards from you, and it’s possible he might not like the way you either over-dress or under-dress when going to certain places.
The best way to find out? Ask him what he thought of your last outfit, and see if he can give you a straight answer.
15) He’s Still Making Up His Mind
Just because a guy has shown some interest in you — whether you’ve been chatting for a few weeks or you’ve gone out a few times — doesn’t mean he’s totally available.
How much do you really know about this guy? Does he have an ex? Does he have a current girlfriend? Or maybe he’s also in the initial stages with another woman, and he’s now stuck deciding between you or her.
Whatever the situation may be, there’s something else going on and it’s tugging at his heart strings.
This doesn’t mean his feelings for you arent real; it just means they aren’t the only feelings in his head.
And it’s up to you if you want to try to convince him to fall for you, or just leave a potentially messy situation before it even begins.
16) He Heard A Rumor About You
Rumors spread like wildfire, and if you and your possible guy come from the same workplace, school, or just social circles, then there is always the possibility that he heard a rumor about you, and it unsettled him.
So a few things you can ask yourself:
- Are there rumors going around about you?
- Do you have people around you who would like to see this relationship fail?
- Are those rumors true, exaggerated, or completely made-up?
And of course, you’ll ask, “Does this mean the end of this relationship?” Not necessarily.
It depends on how much he believes in the rumor and how much he cares about it.
Who knows — he might not think it’s a big deal at all, whatever it might be, but he still wants to give you time.
17) He’s Ignoring You Because Of His Family
When you start dating someone seriously, you aren’t just dating them; you’re also dating their family.
Unless a person is totally estranged from their family, their family’s opinion over their potential lifelong partner plays a huge role in whether or not they actually end up with someone.
So think about it: would his family have any reason to dislike you?
Maybe they’re the super-rich types who don’t want a “lesser” partner for their son, or maybe they have something against you personally, whether it’s your religion or your ethnicity or even your social standing.
Whatever it is, it’s not easy for him to go against his family’s wishes, especially if he’s not completely independent of them yet.
18) You’re Total Opposites
Maybe you’ve fallen head over heels in love with him, but have you taken a moment to ask yourself: has he?
Every time you hang out together or go on a date, you can’t imagine how you could ever find someone more perfect for you than him. But is he really thinking the same thing?
It could be that he’s not, because you just have too many traits in which you’re totally opposite from one another.
Maybe you’re fun and outgoing, while he’s quiet and introverted (or the other way around).
Maybe you think those differences don’t matter, but he might be looking for someone who is much more in-line with his hobbies and personality traits. And that, unfortunately, isn’t you.
19) He Is in Love With You
So if he’s ignoring you then it’s probably a bad thing, right?
Probably, but not necessarily.
One possible option (though unlikely) is that he’s fallen madly in love with you — you’re on his mind 24/7, he already wants to start thinking about having kids with you, and he can’t stand the possibility of losing you — so much so that he doesn’t know what to do with himself, or with you, for that matter.
So instead of doing anything about it, he’s chosen the simplest thing he can do right now: ignore you and pretend he doesn’t have any feelings at all.
He’s hoping just a bit more time will help him figure out what he wants to do next, because the last thing he wants to do is rush into any option and ruin everything.
20) He’s Playing Games
You’re sitting around at home, staring at your phone waiting for his next text.
He said he would message you today but it’s almost midnight and you still haven’t heard from him.
Is he really just incredibly busy, or has he forgotten about you, or is it something else?
For some men, the answer is simple: he knows exactly what he’s doing, and you’re just the latest toy to him in a long series of games.
He loves knowing that he’s leaving you hanging, that you’re desperate for the slightest hint of attention from him.
And you’re giving him exactly what he wants by being so obviously affected by his absence.
So He’s Ignoring You: Relax
There’s nothing worse than being ignored, especially when the person doing it is someone you’re either already in a relationship with, or someone you want to have a relationship with.
It can leave you feeling anxious and nervous all day long, with every hour chipping away at your self-worth as you wonder how on earth they could do this to you when you’ve invested so much time and emotion into them.
Whatever the reason is, it’s time to let go of that anxiety.
Take a deep breath and relax. You can’t control what he does or what he feels, so why stress over it?
See what happens and see how your feelings change when this period of ignoring finally ends. Live for yourself, not for him.
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