Why is he contacting me after so long? 15 reasons

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There’s a thin line between love and hate. When dating someone, you cannot always predict how things will pan out. 

Things end for a reason because the other person probably wasn’t meant for you. However, with time and distance under your belt, many things change.

And if you are wondering why he contacted you after so long, here are 15 reasons why that may have happened.

1) He’s trying to find closure

If the breakup was a messy one, it may still be affecting him. 

If a breakup is sudden or dramatic, it can often lead to feelings of shame, regret, and even resentment, particularly among men. 

It can be difficult to process your feelings when you’re going through a breakup. You may want to talk to your partner or seek support from a friend or family member, but it can be hard to know what to say or how to start a conversation like that. 

You might feel like you need some closure or an explanation as to why the relationship ended so you can move on. He may have contacted you out of the blue to try to find that closure and move on from the relationship.

2) You remind him of the good times and why he fell in love with you in the first place

Whatever happened between you two, there were definitely some good times. Remember that you both fell in love with each other at some point. 

It takes a lot for a person to actually be able to put themselves out there. So if you remind him of the good times, he may want to rekindle them once again. 

He may have remembered why he fell for you in the first place. Perhaps he was going through some old photos and came across a picture of the two of you.

3) He wants to rekindle what you had

If he’s contacting you after so long, he may be hoping that you two will be able to rekindle what you once had. 

He may be hoping that you can pick up where you left off. 

He may want to see if there’s still a spark between the two of you. Perhaps he’s finally ready to move on and has remembered you as the one he wants to be with. 

Or maybe he wants to apologize for what happened between you two and make things right. He may want to show you that he’s changed or that he regrets the way he handled the situation

You may have wanted closure or an apology at the time, and he may have realized that he’s ready to give it to you now.

4) He’s realized he made a mistake

Another reason why he may contact you after so long is that he realized that what he did was wrong. 

Maybe he made a mistake and though it was the right thing to do, now he feels bad about it. 

He may want to rescript his mistakes and apologize for his actions. He may want you back in order to make things right between the two of you.

Want to know the best part?

If you want to get back to him, this is a great chance.

All you have to do is make him realize that he made a mistake and he will want to try to get back with you! 

While it might not be easy, it may be worth it. To help you out, I recommend watching this free video by Brad Browning, an expert in relationships and life.

Not only you can get the answer to the question “why did he contact me after so long”, but you can also learn how to get him back.

Click here to watch the free video now.

5) It may be his way of testing the waters

I bet you never thought you would be reading this but there’s a chance that he contacted you after so long because he wanted to test the waters and see how things would go.

He may want to see if there is even the slightest chance that he can win you back. He may want to talk to you to find out if your feelings for him are still there.

Here are some signs that show that your ex is testing the waters:

  • He mentions that your breakup was hard on him.
  • He asks for advice about how to move on from the breakup.
  • His friends ask him if he wants to get back together with you.
  • He makes a silly joke about you.

No matter what he does, don’t think for a second that he really wants to be with you. But if the timing is right, who knows? You can win him back!

6) You are still in his heart

This is an obvious reason.

He may have contacted you because you are still in his heart.

At least he may think that you are.

If he had moved on, he probably wouldn’t be contacting you after so long. 

You were probably in a good relationship while it lasted and he probably misses what you had. He may have moved on and found someone new, but he still has feelings for you

Or he may have realized that he made a mistake and wants to win you back. Whatever the reason, if he contacted you after so long, that means you are still on his mind.

7) He wants a 2nd chance

As I’ve mentioned above, he may have contacted you for a few reasons.

But one of the most obvious reasons is actually because he wants a second chance. 

He wants to win you back because he made a mistake and believes that if he can show you that he’s changed, then you will forgive him. He thinks that if you still want him, then it’s possible that you will forgive him and give him another chance to win your heart again.

The truth is:

The longer your relationship lasted and the more he said he loved you, the greater his chances are of winning you back.

But don’t forget that all it takes is one spark to ignite something again.

8) He found someone else and wants to let you know

Maybe he has found someone else. He may want to tell you about it or even show you a photo of the two of them just to rub it in your face.

Or maybe he wants to give you an update on his life and tell you about his new girlfriend. 

He may even want to introduce you! 

That would be awkward for sure, but at least he’s being honest with you and letting you know what’s going on with him.

9) He wants to check how you’re doing

You might think that he contacted you because he wants to win you back. But honestly, it’s not a bad idea for him to just want to check how you are doing. 

Maybe he just wants to see how things are going in your life. Maybe he wants to catch up and see how your life is going now. 

Sounds silly, but it’s not. 

Many people may go through a breakup or divorce and want to just see how the other person is doing. They want to see if the other person has done well in life. 

He may even want to know if you are dating again. He may want to brag about how he’s doing.

10) He wants clarity on what happened

Think about this for a moment:

Your breakup was a painful time. You may have felt hurt, sad, angry, and many other emotions because of it. 

But after all the pain, you might have had some questions that you weren’t able to answer at the time. 

Maybe he left suddenly or even cheated on you. He may have broken up with you and left you wondering why he did it. 

These are the type of questions that you may have been asking for months after the breakup. 

If your breakup was sudden, he might have contacted you to get clarity on what happened between the two of you. He might want to know why he left you, and he may want to know how he can win you back if that’s what he wants.

11) He has some major life changes coming up

As I’ve mentioned above, you’re probably asking yourself why he contacted you after so long. But here’s another reason why he may have contacted you:

Maybe he has some life changes coming up and he wants to talk to you about it. 

He might want you to be the first one to know. 

He might be planning on having a child soon and needs your support. Or maybe, he’s planning on getting married or starting a family! Whatever the case is, major life changes may be coming up in his life.

12) He sees a future with you now

Prepare yourself for a shock!

You might be wondering now…

How can he contact me after so long if he wants to win me back? 

It’s because he sees a future with you now. 

He saw how much you two were together while it lasted and how happy you two were. He has realized that the two of you were meant to be together, and he wants to try his best to win you over again. 

He knows that although he has moved on, there’s still a part of you that will always love him and want him back.

13) He wants to know if you’ve moved on

Another reason why he may contact you is that he wants to know if you’ve moved on.

If he thought that your breakup was painful, then maybe it made him realize that there’s no point in trying to win you back and that you might not be interested in him anymore.

Now, he wants to make sure of it. He wants to know if the two of you still have feelings for each other.

14) You may have humiliated him in some way and he wants revenge

Trust me, this is a common reason why he might contact you.

If you two were serious for a long period of time, then he might want to express his anger towards you. He might want to get back at you in some way. 

He may have been hurt by something you did or said, and he wants revenge. He may even take it out on someone else!

15) He wants to make you jealous

This is a little bit of a twisted reason. But remember, this man once thought of you as his life. He might want to make sure that you are still feeling jealous and that there’s no one else in the picture.

You might have thought that his breakup was painful and you both wanted to move on. 

But he still has feelings for you, and he wants to make sure that you haven’t moved on with someone else! 

Final thoughts

We’ve covered 15 reasons why your ex-boyfriend might contact you after a breakup.

But there are still many more things that could be the reason why he contacted you.

Don’t forget to keep this list in mind next time he contacts you! 

Want to get back with him?

I’ve mentioned techniques from Brad Browning, an expert in getting back with your ex, and they work great!

You may want to check them out and see if it makes sense. Don’t hold back now!

You already have a positive feeling about him contacting you again. Now, you just need to make the first move and see what happens next. 

It’s time for you to take action and make things happen!

Click here to watch the free video.

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

Click here to get started.