15 surprising reasons you like him so much when you barely know him (and what to do next!)

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We all experience the feeling of an instant attraction at some point in our lives, but why exactly do we like that person? 

Maybe they make us laugh, or show a maturity beyond their years. Maybe they have a beautiful smile or an infectious laugh. What ever it is, there are an endless number of ways to feel close to someone you barely know.

How can you be sure? How long will it last? What if it is not what you think it is?

Instead of focusing on the fact that you cannot stop thinking about him, or the butterflies in your stomach when he calls, the important thing to do next is to investigate this feeling.

Below are 15 surprising reasons why you like him so much— and what to do next, let’s jump right in.

1) Physical attraction

Your first thought might be that he is kind of cute, or that you want to come closer. He might look similar to your ex or your celebrity crush. 

You might feel a physical attraction towards him, as if he’s magnetizing you. Your nervous systems are synced up in an instant connection, leaving you craving more of his presence and attention. 

When you finally meet, your chemistry leads to the feeling that this is who you have been looking for all along.

Your body’s response to a person can be truly instinctive and unconscious – it has nothing to do with judgement or choice, and thus serves as a huge indicator as to whether you will actually like him. 

If the thought of him makes your pulse race, and you feel more alive in his presence, there is no denying that you have physical chemistry. The question is: why are you feeling that way?

What to do next: It is important to assess why this attraction feels so intense.

Is it that he looks like a famous person, or reminds you of your ex? Or does his countenance have something more to it than simple physical attraction? Try observing the nuances of his physical appearance carefully.

2) You have a lot in common. 

You share similar values, interests, and backgrounds which makes it comfortable for you to talk and connect at a deeper level than usual with your new crush. Maybe your views and attitudes on life are compatible.

There is a harmony between you, which makes the whole experience feel like a natural fit. You might share similar life experiences, or even like the same foods or books, which makes him even more appealing.

This connection makes you feel like you may have known him forever and there is nothing more to be said. It is as if you are completing each other and discovering new ways of being. 

And boom! You share an easy intimacy with one another that makes it hard to walk away when your time together is through. You feel like you are on the same wavelength.

What to do next: Do not assume that this common ground is a sure sign of compatibility! 

You will want to take some time to get to know him better in order to discern whether this connection is the real deal or if it will fade after time has passed. 

3) You feel better about yourself when you are around him. 

Basically, people are drawn to people who make them feel good about themselves. If they can maintain a positive outlook regardless of the circumstances, they are likely to have a positive effect on your life as well. 

They may be the cheerleader that pushes you towards your goals and inspires you with his own passion and enthusiasm.

Not only do you feel better about yourself, but he makes you feel safe and protected. You can share your feelings and not feel judged. It might be that he has self confidence and shows strength, making you feel secure inside your own skin.

Or it may be that he is so casual about himself that you feel at ease to talk about yourself. He may be unassuming, easy going, or open-minded which makes you feel like you can let your guard down around him. It’s a good sign! 

The relationship that feels safe, secure, and comfortable for you is likely to be stable and make you feel more confident. This will allow you to grow and evolve as a person.

What to do next: The next step is to take some time to really get to know him and determine whether you feel this way about him only because you are in a funk, or if this connection has a real chance of being something more than purely physical.

4) You feel comfortable being vulnerable with him. 

You can allow yourself to be vulnerable around him, as if he already knows the deepest parts of yourself and sees through your disguise. 

This will allow you to become less guarded and more open, which means that you are more likely to be able to share your most intimate thoughts and feelings with him.

When we share our most intimate thoughts and feelings, an emotional connection is formed and begins to grow. The more you allow yourself to be vulnerable with him, the deeper your connection will become.

The interesting thing about vulnerability is that it comes from a place of strength rather than weakness. It is when we peel back the layers of our insecurities and discover what makes us unique that we begin to share ourselves with the world at large.

When you are open with your deepest feelings, you are opening up the door to another person to do the same. It is a chance for you to grow, evolve and become the person you were meant to be.

What to do next: You should take some time and really explore this bond with him. Ask questions about his life, his thoughts on certain topics or ask what he thinks of your latest work in progress. 

If there is something deeper here than simple attraction, it will show in small ways every day. Keep a lookout for signs that show that he is as moved by your humanity as you feel towards him.

5) You see him as a potential life partner one day. 

I know the feeling. You have been with him for a little while and everything seems to be clicking. 

This is the moment of magic. Although he just might have your best interest at heart, it feels as though you are on the list to be united in matrimony one day in the near future. 

You see him as someone who will inspire, entertain and protect you for the rest of your life. You know that he is going to make you better at everything you do, which means that he will make you better at everything you do. Astonishing isn’t it?

Let’s dig a little deeper, the main thing that differentiates genuine attraction from mere physical attraction is a feeling of flow. 

When we are in flow, our actions make some sort of sense to us, and we naturally begin to feel at peace with the world and ourselves. 

You are in an emotional state that makes you feel connected on a deeply profound and meaningful level, even if only temporarily. 

This makes it much easier to see when the connection is truly there or not, as opposed to being attracted purely due to his looks.

Is this attraction real? Is it possible? These are just some of the questions you need to ask yourself in order to determine whether this “connection” is going somewhere.

What to do next: Make a list of the qualities you look for in your ideal partner and compare them to the qualities you see in him. Ask yourself how real do you believe this connection is? Is there something else at play here? 

6) You have a sense of comfort with him.

Whenever you feel comfortable in a situation, you are more inclined to do what is right and good for yourself. This may mean being honest and open with him, making decisions that are best for your future together or doing things you need to do on your own. 

You may also feel more confident around him because he makes you feel like you can be yourself and not worry about what might be perceived as “wrong” or “lame”. 

A feeling of comfort comes from an understanding and trust of someone that they will reciprocate the feelings. You know there is something special between the two of you.

What to do next: When you feel at ease with him, make a list of the types of things that you enjoy with him and look for ways you can make more time to do those things.

The more comfortable you become, the more likely it is that a real connection will develop.

7) You have a deep sense of security when with him. 

You may know immediately that he is the kind of man who makes you feel safe and secure, or sometimes it can take a while to work out what makes him so comforting or why you trust him so much.

You may not be able to put your finger on it at first, but you can feel it. It’s a feeling of knowing that he will be there for you in any situation. 

There is an innate trust in him which allows you to be yourself without worrying about what other people think.

This definitely means more than just the physical sense of security from being attracted to him, but can also come from his honesty and integrity. 

When he tells the truth, he doesn’t lie or try and sugarcoat it. He won’t mind if you don’t like something about him, and he won’t mind if it makes you upset when you realize that you are misinterpreting something about him.

What to do next: Try to identify what it is about him that makes you trust him. Try to get the reason why you feel this way about him. Ask him questions about how he deals with situations and how he chooses to handle difficult people, and see how much truth there is in his answers. 

You may not realize it straight away but if you can discover the reason behind your feelings of trust, you will have found your man.

8) You both enjoy being around each other. 

It’s not just that you both like each other, but you genuinely enjoy being around one another. You have fun together and you can laugh, cry, be angry or excited without feeling pressured to hide it or do something else altogether. 

This can feel refreshing after spending time with someone who plays it safe all the time to avoid a confrontation.

Maybe you enjoy his sense of humor, intelligence or personality while he likes the way you dress, laugh or get excited over something little like the sunset on a clear day.

What to do next: Ask yourself if you like being around him or if he makes you happy in your day to day life. Are there specific things about him that you like or dislike? What brings out your passion?

9) You feel joy or gratitude when you are around him. 

This is a much more subtle sign than attraction and it can come from anything from his wonderful smile, to a bit of silliness or a genuine laugh.

It is easy to think that you like him because he is pleasant to be around and you smile when he laughs, but this doesn’t show that you are actually attracted to him. You may just be happy with your life in general. 

What to do next: Ask yourself why you are happy when you are with him? Is it because of the fact that he makes you laugh or smiles? Is it the way he looks at you? 

Ask yourself questions which will help you uncover the true reason for your feelings.

10) He’s able to talk about anything, no matter how personal, and still make people feel comfortable.

If he is comfortable around you, it means that he doesn’t mind revealing himself as a person, who he really is and what he likes and dislikes. The ability to be completely honest without feeling judged or pressured is commendable.

What to do next: Ask him questions which allow him to talk about himself or things he enjoys or dislikes. Try to see if he’s the kind of man who can reveal himself emotionally but still maintain a sense of security about what happens next.

He should feel free enough to share anything with you and not have any reservations about it. This means that you won’t have any issues getting closer later in the relationship as there will be no surprises along the way.

11) If you try to guess his innermost secrets, he is more likely to open up and tell you more than if you asked him something silly like his favorite food or movie star crush.

Although you may try to guess what he is thinking about on a subconscious level, it’s more likely that you will get a response that is genuine and more than just guessing.

What to do next: When you first start getting close to him, try to guess what secrets he might be keeping. Are there things from his past which he doesn’t want his friends or family to know? 

Ask him questions which allow him to open up about himself and hear his thoughts rather than guessing about them later. 

At the same time, ask him questions which make you look at him in a different way than how people see others all the time and see if he has any interesting stories to share with you.

12) Even thought you barely know him, he pays attention to you and makes you feel special. 

He will make an effort to get to know you better and speak with you about yourself a lot. He is able to notice little things which others might miss, he will pay attention to how you dress and how well you care for your appearance. 

He will try his best not to force the issue but he will do it out of genuine interest in knowing more about the person who is sitting in front of him. 

He can tell when you have had a stressful day and makes time for you to relax. He will try and make an effort with your friends so that he can make an effort with yours. 

His attention to detail is noticeable but not overwhelming as he seems to know exactly what you need from him in each situation. 

He’s not just simply attentive because he wants something from you though, he cares about your well being and wants to take care of those around him because they are important to him.

What to do next: Try to identify things he does or says that makes you feel special and unique. He’ll do the same for his friends and family, so if you get this feeling from him don’t be embarrassed to ask him questions about it.

He should be able to tell you what he likes about you, but also focus on the things which are important to you as well. He should be able to make you feel special in a way that makes you feel safe and at ease. 

Try asking yourself these questions in an objective manner, and see if the answers resonate with you about him. See if there is a pattern for your answers and if the pattern tells you anything about the type of man he is or what else you might like about him. 

You should start to get a pretty clear idea of whether he would be worth pursuing or not, based on how strongly your answers match up with one another.

13) You keep meeting him at different places around your town and he makes an effort to be where you are.

You may not always see him with the same people or do the same things, but you can usually find him at certain places. He likes going out for coffee, for drinks or just for a walk in the park on a sunny afternoon with someone he cares about. 

What to do next: See if you can schedule something in common and go together. If possible, meet at one of the places where you often see each other by chance. Try to arrange this at a time when you won’t be likely to bump into others you know as it’s important that this is only between you two. 

14) You feel a strong sense of attraction and can’t stop thinking about the possibility of chemistry.

It begins with a warm feeling inside when you see him and your heart starts racing when you see him or he calls you or texts you. You feel awkward but excited in your stomach when he uses a particular word to describe how he feels about you. 

Chemistry is not easily defined but you will know what it is if you experience it.

What to do next: Ask yourself why you are interested in him. Is it the possibility of chemistry or the fact that he makes you laugh or simply makes you feel special in his presence?

It’s important to ask yourself why you are attracted to him rather than just assuming you are. If you feel safe with him and he makes you laugh, it’s probably a good chance that the attraction is there for a reason and chemistry will follow if you get closer.

15) He makes you feel protected.

Men’s natural instinct is to protect those around him and he will try his best to protect the person he cares about. 

If you start to feel like he’s being protective of you even though you barely know him, it’s a good sign that he does care about you and is likely to be a good boyfriend. His protectiveness gives you a sense of security. That’s why you’re into him.

I learned about this from the hero instinct. Coined by relationship expert James Bauer, this fascinating concept is about what really drives men in relationships, which is ingrained in their DNA.

And it’s something most women don’t know anything about.

Once triggered, these drivers make men into the heroes of their own lives. They feel better, love harder, and commit stronger when they find someone who knows how to trigger it.

Now, you may be wondering why it’s called “the hero instinct”? Do guys really need to feel like superheroes to commit to a woman?

Not at all. Forget about Marvel. You won’t need to play the damsel in distress or buy your man a cape.

What to do next: The easiest thing to do is to check out James Bauer’s excellent free video here. He shares some easy tips to get you started, such as sending him a 12 word text that will trigger his hero instinct right away.

Because that’s the beauty of the hero instinct.

It’s only a matter of knowing the right things to say to make him realize that he wants you and only you. 

Click here to watch the free video.


I hope this article has helped you understand what makes you attracted to him and how you might use this information to get closer to him.

Always remember that attraction comes naturally and it’s important that you don’t force anything while getting to know him. 

The most important thing is that you are clear about what you want from him and from the relationship, so that you can be honest with yourself about what you are wanting to get out of it. 

Take your time, get to know him and make sure you enjoy the process. Once you know what you want, you will know if he’s compatible with you and is worth pursuing or not. 

This is the key to happy and healthy relationships, as it allows you to recognize the important qualities and traits in someone, who you can be with long term while still enjoying yourself in the process.

I wish you all the best in finding your Mr. Right! 

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