15 possible reasons he won’t commit but won’t leave you alone

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I get it, you’ve met someone wonderful and everything seems perfect. 

You’ve had great dates, talked to each other all the time, and the spark of getting to know someone is alive more than over. 

But, you don’t have the feeling like he is ready to fully commit to you?

Don’t worry, we’ve all been there. Relationships can feel like roller coaster rides even when they are going well. 

I’ll take you through the top reasons why your man says he isn’t ready to commit, but also can’t leave you alone. Let’s jump right in. 

1) He is afraid of commitment

He knows that you are the one and that you are the last girl to make him feel the way he does about someone. 

You’ve been together for a short time and he still doesn’t want to make a move because he’s scared of getting hurt. The truth is, everyone gets scared sometimes. 

Going from “hey” to “I love you” takes a lot more than just a few dates.

There is a lot of potential at the beginning of relationships. A lot can change between “dating” and “in love”.

You have to remember that even if he’s been with you for a while already, it doesn’t always mean that he’s ready to give you an answer straight away. He could be taking his time to figure out if you are right for him, just like you are trying to do the same.

2) There is no urgency

It’s a different feeling seeing someone you like and being very close with the person. It’s more than just a fling or “just sex” with someone that you don’t know very well. 

There’s a connection there, and it feels special even when you don’t say anything to each other. The urge to hold hands, hug, kiss, or just talk all the time are all signs of this feeling.

If you are already feeling all these great feelings around him, likely, he is too. The problem is that if you both feel the same then, you don’t know what else to do with this feeling. 

He might not want to rush things and move on to the next phase because things seem good the way they are now.

3) He has past relationships that he is still holding on to

Everyone goes through things in life and some people can’t let go of their past

Whether it’s a relationship, a home, or something that happened to him. If he is holding on to someone from his past, there is a good chance that he might not be ready to fully commit to you.

Maybe he has found someone new, met someone amazing and wants nothing but happy with them. 

The feelings of love, lust, and being in a relationship all develop from the same place. If you are giving so much love and attention to your man.

You will never be able to let him go as easily as he can for who he used to be with before.

We’ve all been there. Last year my relationship reached a dead-end. I’m talking do-not-resuscitate. Over and out. I just waited and waited while I let my partner string me along with false hope. 

I was ready to walk away, but before I did that I took a step I’d never taken before. I reached out to a professional relationship coach. 

I had low expectations, but even my highest hopes were exceeded. The coach I spoke to at Relationship Hero quickly broke down the walls I’d built up in my relationship and helped me understand why I was holding onto something that was causing me so much pain. 

This coach was tough but fair. They were genuine and very helpful.

They took apart every single lie I was telling myself and helped me understand how to truly resolve my discomfort with being alone. 

My relationship isn’t perfect now, but it’s so much better than what it was. Most importantly, I’m hugely optimistic about the future again. 

Click here to check out Relationship Hero and see if they can help you, too.

4) He is scared of making a mistake with you

Making mistakes when it comes to dating and relationships is part of life. 

We all make mistakes, including the first time we kiss someone or by saying those three magical words too soon or too late. 

He might be scared of making another mistake and letting you slip out of his hands. Committing to someone can be hard if there isn’t any further progression.

To find out if he is the one, you will have to give it time, but not too much time. Relationships all involve a certain amount of risk. We can’t avoid this truth. 

After a certain point, it seems like he is pushing back the commitment because there is something deeper about him that he is holding on to.

5) He is in love with someone else

Although this seems hard to believe, you have to understand that sometimes the person you are in a relationship with might not be feeling the same things as you do. 

He might feel something for someone else instead of for you.

If he feels that way about someone else, there is a good chance that he will hold on to them and not let them go.

He and you have been dating for a long time and know each other well. You have gotten to know his friends and family, and have connected so much. 

It’s hard to explain, but there are times when you know that it’s different with him than it was with the person he was previously attached to. 

You can’t use that as an excuse not to commit, either.

6) He is scared to lose you

You might not realize it, but a lot of people fear losing the relationships they have with their loved ones. Not just men, but also women. 

You could be a part of his life in a way that he doesn’t want to lose you even though he doesn’t feel like he can fully commit to you. He wants to keep you close until he feels better and more confident in his life. 

As much as he wants to move forward and take the next big step, it’s important to remember that sometimes moments and times standstill, so don’t push him too hard.

7) He is selfish

Let’s face it, we are all concerned about ourselves and our own well-being first. 

He might love you but he isn’t ready to commit to you because he cares a lot about himself. He has always had everything going his way and doesn’t have to work too hard for it. 

If he isn’t ready to be in a relationship, it’s just easier for him to keep things casual than try to make it work because he doesn’t want you or anyone else in his life making decisions for him.

8) He doesn’t have time

Everyone is busy these days with school, work, and other obligations. Sometimes you wind up putting your relationship on the backburner

If he doesn’t make time for you but still wants to hold on to the relationship, there is a good chance that he might not be able to commit to you. Our choices are all about what we prioritize. 

He is so busy with other things that he doesn’t have time for you, let alone himself and his needs as well.

9) He doesn’t think he’s met the right person yet

He might have connected with you on many levels and have enjoyed spending time with you. 

Maybe he even considers you to be the one, but something is holding him back from fully committing to you. 

It’s possible that he is just being realistic and knows that there could be someone out there better for him. Everyone deserves someone better than they are in their lives at the moment.

When we feel frustrated in our relationships, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about our situation.

With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice tailored to your unique situation.

Relationship Hero is a popular site where highly trained relationship coaches help people work through complex relationship issues, like knowing when to be patient and knowing when to walk away. 

Their talent boils down to how skilled their coaches are and how much experience they have helping others. 

Why am I so confident that they can help you?

Well, I recently experienced a tough patch in my own relationship, and I reached out to them for help. 

From the moment I got in touch, I was given genuine, helpful advice, and was finally able to see my relationship issues with real clarity.

I was immediately impressed by how kind and empathetic my coach was and how they helped me deal with my non-committal man. 

Click here to get started.

10) He’s a liar

He might be lying to you because he can’t commit to you or wants to keep things casual. 

He doesn’t have enough space in his heart for you, so you are going to have to work on that.

As much as he is lying to himself, there is a part of him that knows the truth. You just have to find out what that truth is. 

If you can’t trust him, there is no point in committing to him.

11) He is scared to get hurt

A relationship is never easy, especially the first one. There are going to be ups and downs and it’s hard not to get hurt at some point

If he has been hurt in the past, you know that he might be scared to open himself up again. This fear of being let down or disappointed will stop him from committing to you.

You both have to remember that it’s okay for things not to work out but it doesn’t mean that there won’t be something better around the corner.

12) He is not ready

There are some men out there who don’t want to commit to you and just want to be with anyone at the moment. It’s hard to know if he is the one or not, so you have to give it some time. 

There must be no circumstances that would make him realize that he doesn’t want you. 

There has been something about you for a while, so it’s a good sign that he likes you.

13) He enjoys being single

It’s hard to commit to someone if he loves being single and is enjoying the single life.

Some people are just waiting for something or someone perfect to come along and sweep them off their feet. 

If you have been with him for quite some time now and he is still not ready for a long-term commitment, you might have to give him up or wait another day for him.

14) He is scared to commit because his parents

He might not have seen what a healthy relationship looks like so he is scared that he won’t be able to have one. 

He might be afraid of making the same mistakes that his parents made and want nothing to do with that.

He doesn’t want to be like them, so it’s easier for him just to keep things casual than going all-in on a serious relationship.

15) He’s focused on his career

He might be busy with his career but doesn’t want to commit to you because it’s too much for him.

He knows that if he is in a relationship, there will be a lot more work, especially if he has two kids. 

This might be the reason why he and your relationship doesn’t progress so it’s just easier for him to stay single than to put himself out there.

Are you ready to commit to yourself? 

If you have been dating for a while and you are still in your relationship but he isn’t ready to commit, there is a good chance that you have found the right person. 

However, if it’s been some time and he hasn’t changed his mind but he still isn’t ready, then it might not be the right person.

The way I see it, you have two options in front of you:

  • You can wait for him to make up his mind, and commit to your relationship in a concrete manner.
  • Or, you can tell him how you feel, take a risk, and move on if necessary. 

So often we fear telling others how we feel. We don’t want to let them know that they mean something to us and we want more from them because it means that they might not agree and we can lose them. 

But all relationships involve risk. If you can speak openly and honestly about your feelings, this is the most important base for any relationship. 

It doesn’t mean that things will turn out how you like, but it does mean that you will be able to speak honestly with the person you are with. 

If they are not ready, you can’t force them. 

Let’s be honest about why we hold ourselves back. Why do we stay in a relationship that is going nowhere and let others string us along? 

It’s not easy. It’s enough to make you want to give up on love and walk away. 

But I want to suggest a solution. You have all the tools you need to do this right now, right where you are. 

I learned about this from the modern-day shaman Rudá Iandê. He taught me how the lies we tell ourselves about love are part of what traps us in things like waiting for our partners to turn towards us and realize our value. 

As Rudá explains in this transformational free video, love is available to us if we cut through the lies that we tell ourselves. 

We need to face the facts by speaking honestly and openly and with love. 

The alternative is to end up in empty relationships or endless dating frustration that only leaves us feeling satisfied and empty. 

The alternative is to be sunk in stagnant codependency and completely unable to resolve things like speaking from our hearts. 

Rudá’s teachings showed me a whole new perspective. 

While watching, I felt like someone understood my struggles to find love for the first time – and finally offered an actual, practical solution to feeling at ease with being single and alone. 

If you’re done with wasting your time on a love that doesn’t work, I invite you to watch this short video and open your mind to new possibilities. 

Click here to watch the free video.

The more you can connect with yourself, and feel confident expressing yourself, the less it will matter if someone is stringing you along because you will be able to move on to something better and find more love in your life. 

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

Click here to get started.