“Why hasn’t he contacted me for a month?” – 17 reasons why (and what to do next)

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Were you casually dating a guy and then suddenly he disappeared off the Earth and he hasn’t contacted you since? 

What is going on? What does it mean if he hasn’t contacted you for a month?

It sucks, especially if you liked him. 

But here’s what you need to remember:

He might not be ghosting you because he’s not interested in you. There are plenty of other reasons as well.

And that’s what we’re going to cover in this article today. All the reasons this guy hasn’t contacted you for a month.

We’ll also go over what you can do about it.

Let’s go.

1. He thought that you weren’t interested in him

Perhaps this guy thought you weren’t into him, so he didn’t bother contacting you. 

Be honest:

How did you act when you were with him?

Did you show him that you liked him? Did you ask lots of questions? Did you laugh at his jokes?

Or were you a little cold and distant?

If you didn’t show much interest in him, then he might have got the impression that you just weren’t attracted to him.

And then he decided that there is no point in contacting you. 


If you really want to test it out, contact him and show him that you’re interested.

Flirt with him, ask lots of questions, and show your interest through your body language. His perception of you will completely change.

2. He is busy doing other things and doesn’t have time for texting

Maybe the guy doesn’t have much time, meaning he has lots of things going on in his life and can’t fit in texting every day.

Be honest:

How much time do you spend on social media like Facebook, Instagram, or Snapchat?

And also how much time do you spend on texting? Would you consider yourself a heavy texter?

You might be an avid texter, and well, he just isn’t. He might not have had a relationship for a long time and he just doesn’t know how to fit texting into his schedule. 

He might be spending less time texting and more time doing other things.

Perhaps he just doesn’t spend much time texting other people. He prefers real-world interactions.

Maybe he thought that he would have to spend time texting you to organize a date with you again.

And he just couldn’t find the time or willpower. 

When a man is busy with work and the real world, he might have just given it up because he’s not a texting or social media kind of guy.

3. He might want to space out your relationship

Some people do this – space out the beginning stage with someone by not contacting them for a month.

They don’t want to appear too interested, so they make the person wonder whether or not they’re interested in them.

Think about it for a sec:

Do you avoid texting a guy too much in the earlier stages of dating so you don’t appear needy?

Perhaps this guy is doing the same. He hasn’t contacted you for a month because he doesn’t want to appear desperate.

4. He might have found someone else

You’re not going to enjoy this one, but it can happen.

Perhaps he met someone else and is dating that person.

He has stopped contacting you because he doesn’t want to appear like he’s still interested in you since he has other commitments (and other women) now.

The bottom line is this:

He might have liked you, but because you didn’t contact him for a while, he decided to go on other dates with other girls and he found someone else.

5. He has been busy with his family

Maybe he has been busy with his family and didn’t have time to chat.

Maybe his family is very important to him and he needs to spend time with them.

And if you wanted to chat, you would just have interrupted or interfered with something that was very important in his life.

His family is more important than you in his life. That’s why he needs to spend time with them instead of chatting with you. 

After all, he has other priorities in life, and family is usually one of them. 

Sometimes people have other priorities in their lives and don’t have time for you.

They could be very busy with work, family, or commitments that are more important to them than you.

Look, this information might hit you like a ton of bricks, but it’s nothing against you.

If you only dated once or twice and he never contacted you again, then he might have just got busy with his other priorities like his family. 

He’s busy for a reason, and he didn’t have time to contact you anymore.

The bottom line is that you have to chalk it up as a loss and move on.

In the future he might contact you out of the blue when he’s not so busy, but for now, there might not be much you can do about it. 

6. He’s not ready for a serious relationship

You might be looking for a serious relationship, but he’s not.

Perhaps he’s just looking for fun and isn’t ready to settle down with someone yet.

He might have simply stopped contacting you because you wanted something more serious and he didn’t.

Think about it for a moment:

How old is this guy?

If he is in his late teens or early 20s, then he may simply want to play the field before settling down.

And once he realized that you want a serious relationship, he decided that it wasn’t really for him.

7. You didn’t give him a reason to contact him again

Maybe he liked you, but he just didn’t know what to say to contact you again.

You didn’t give him any trigger to contact you again. When he realized that, he stopped contacting you.

What could you have done differently?

You could have given him a reason to contact you. You could have asked some questions about what he likes and then tried to find common ground with him.

If you don’t give someone a reason why they need to contact you again, then they won’t do it. They will just give up and move on with their life.

8. He’s not that into you

This one might hurt, but it can happen. You can’t force him to like you or to contact you again.

Perhaps he’s just not that into you. Maybe he was looking for a good time and just didn’t show his feelings for you.

He might have thought that you were funny and likable, but he just doesn’t feel the same way as you do.

Guys are weird creatures, and sometimes they don’t know what’s good for them.

The unfortunate truth is this:

If this has happened, then you have to accept it. You’ll just have to chalk it up as a loss and move on.

You can’t force a person to contact you if they don’t want to anymore.

9. He wants you to contact him first

Back in high school, this was all the rage. You had a crush on someone and you waited for him or her to make a move first.

Well, now the tables have turned. Nowadays, it’s usually the guy who has to contact you first if he wants to continue dating you.

But what if this guy isn’t very direct and forward? What if he doesn’t know how to contact a girl first to show his interest?

So he’s just waiting for you to contact him. He might think that you’re busy and that you don’t have time to make the effort.

Since he’s waiting for you to contact him, he has given up.

He’s decided that the relationship isn’t worth it and that it’s better for him if he goes on other dates.

10. He thinks that you’re too good for him

Maybe this guy isn’t very confident, and because you’re beautiful and sophisticated, he thinks that you’re too good for him.

The unhappy truth is this:

He thinks that you’re too good for him, but he still has his pride in his heart so he doesn’t want to contact you and get rejected.

Guys hate rejection, and because he thinks you’re in a different league to him, he just doesn’t make the effort.

11. He has commitment issues

He might have commitment issues. If a guy has commitment issues, then he doesn’t want to settle down with someone.

He wants what many boys want:

To have fun and to be single for as long as possible.

The sad truth is this:

He may not contact you again because you want something more serious than he does.

Now don’t get me wrong:

He may have developed feelings for you, but he is scared of those feelings because he is afraid of commitment.

12. He might be still mourning his ex girlfriend and hasn’t recovered from the breakup yet

This is a tough one, because it’s the opposite of what we want to believe. It can hurt like hell, but sometimes there’s nothing we can do about it

After all, he is still in love with his ex. He hasn’t got over them yet. He might think that the relationship was special and that he will never find anyone else like this person again.

He might be thinking about his ex, and because he has never recovered from the breakup, he doesn’t have time for anyone else.

13. He just wants to move on with his life and forget about you

Whatever happened with him, he decided that you’re in the past and that’s it. He’s cut ties now and doesn’t want to keep thinking about you.

He might think that you’re clingy, or he might have just gotten tired of answering your messages.

Either way, he doesn’t want to deal with it anymore, so he just wants to move on with his life.

It might be just him. Perhaps he’s a difficult and picky guy that turns his nose up to most people.

14. You offended him

Think about your last meeting:

Was there anything you said that may have offended him? Did you say something that may have hurt his feelings?

Well, perhaps he doesn’t like you anymore because of it.

This is a possibility, and some guys have thin skin and high sensitivity to criticism.

You might have said something about him that you thought was completely harmless, but he found really offensive.

So think back to your last meeting and try to recall what you said that may have rubbed him the wrong way.

It isn’t easy to be rejected like this because some guy is too sensitive, and it can hurt your feelings.

But don’t let it. You need to remain strong and keep moving forward in life because you’re an amazing person.

One of the best things you can do for yourself is to surround yourself with people that make you feel good about yourself, and move on with your life.

15. He already has a girlfriend

If he doesn’t have any other excuse to contact you again, then it might be this one. He might have a girlfriend that you don’t know about.

He doesn’t want to tell you about her, because if he does, then it will be awkward.

After all, he went on a date with you while he was seeing another girl. That’s bad! 

Maybe he thought he could get away with a fling with you without his girlfriend knowing, but then he decided against it.

Either way, he didn’t want to take the chance so he just wants to move on with his life.

16. He thinks you’re dating other guys

The unhappy truth is that some guys have a jealous streak in them and they don’t want to see you with another guy.

It might have been an innocent mistake, but he doesn’t like it.

He previously liked you because he thought you were the kind of girl who isn’t dating multiple guys.

But for some reason, he thought that you are and therefore, didn’t want to contact you.

17. He thinks that he’ll have a better chance if he waits a long time before contacting you

Perhaps this guy is thinking that if he doesn’t contact you for a long time it will make him look like a cool guy.

He will think that you’ll be much more attracted to him if he doesn’t contact you for a long time.

Again, don’t let him think that he can just wait for you to contact him.

Sometimes waiting is the worst thing to do, because the longer it takes, the less likely you’ll ever become interested in him again.

What to do if he hasn’t contacted you for a month

Now if you like this guy, and he hasn’t contacted you for a month, then you need a gameplan of what to do next. 

That’s where we come in. 

Here are some tips if this guy hasn’t contacted you for a month:

1) You should give him an ultimatum

This might be a drastic first step, but it can work.

You need to contact him, and give him an ultimatum. You need to set a deadline for him to contact you again.

This is an ultimatum:

“I loved you.  But now I am moving on.  If you want me to stay in your life, then pick up the phone, and call me.”  

If he doesn’t respond, then this is the end of the relationship. Period.  

2. Contact him (or his friends) and see if he has a good excuse for not contacting you

If that was too drastic for you, then this can be a better option. 

You could contact him and see what he says when you ask him why he hasn’t contacted you for a month.

Maybe he has some legitimate excuses?

Maybe something serious happened with his family?

Maybe he thought you weren’t interested in him?

If you don’t want to text him, then if you have some mutual friends, then this will be the place to ask them if they know what has happened.

You can use those mutual friends to question about why he hasn’t contacted you.

Then you’ll work out why he hasn’t contacted you. If it’s for a good reason, then you don’t have to worry. He likes you and you’ll get in touch soon.

3. Make him jealous on social media

This is sneaky, but it can work.

Post photos of you on social media having a great time with other guys.

This is a risky action so be careful. It really is a last resort. But perhaps he’ll get jealous and it will force him to take action.

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

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