“Why doesn’t my boyfriend love me?” 15 tips if this is you

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Do you have a gut feeling that something just isn’t right in your relationship? 

Your boyfriend is treating you like a complete stranger; he’s not affectionate; he bails on you, makes excuses, and avoids you. Do you agree?

Also, is he making you feel like he doesn’t love you anymore?

If you’ve said yes, you’re most probably correct. Something is definitely up. I’m going to help you figure it out.

So, if you doubt your man’s intentions, this article contains all the signs and warnings that will help you to figure out whether he loves you or whether he’s planning on leaving you.

Let’s dive in.

Nothing lasts forever…

Before we look at the signs, I want to make sure you are mentally prepared for the worst-case scenario. Hope and optimism are great, but there comes a time where we need to be realistic.

Nobody enjoys feeling rejected or getting kicked to the curb. It’s an unfortunate part of life, and we all have to go through it. 

Your mom also had her heart broken once, as did your grandmother, and so will your beautiful daughter. It’s how we learn and grow. That’s just how it works, I’m afraid!.

You need to see the signs for what they are and rip the bandaid off. There’s no point in dragging something out because you’re just ending up hurting yourself and delaying the healing process.

If you’re in a relationship that causes you to feel unloved or anything other than the most beautiful queen to walk this earth, chances are, he’s not the one for you. 

So when your boyfriend shows you that he’s no longer in love with you, he’s actually doing you a favor.

The time you are wasting with him could be better spent on self-care, practicing self-love, and introspection so that when you do eventually meet “the one,” you will be able to devote yourself 100 percent.

So, with that said, let’s delve into those “signs” that he’s putting out there to help you confirm that your boyfriend isn’t feeling your vibe anymore.

1) There’s weird anxious vibe between you

A guy who doesn’t love you anymore transmits a strange vibe that’s easy to pick up on. 

It’s not quite something you can pin down nor put your finger on; however, things feel weird between you.

You feel anxious around him and often find yourself walking on eggshells, desperately trying to find out what the heck is going on in his head. It’s impossible to read him.

Additionally, if you are in denial and refuse to accept that he no longer loves you, you are in a constant state of conflict with yourself.

This is not healthy by any means. All you’re doing is playing Russian roulette with your sanity.

2) He puts absolutely no effort into the relationship

Things have been pretty one-sided for a while now.

It’s exhausting. You feel drained, irritated, and utterly powerless.

It’s evident that your relationship is sinking faster than the Titanic, but he doesn’t seem to want to do anything about it.

He’s not bothered to make any plans in terms of dates and isn’t worried about spending quality time (or any time for that matter) with you.

There’s zero communication between you two, and getting him to invest time into the relationship is like trying to flog a dead horse.

3) You’re starting to doubt whether he cares for you at all

When a man loves you deeply, he will show you that he cares about you. His words and actions will align, and you will have no doubts.

Despite the problems he’s facing, whether he’s out with his friends or, even if you give him a reason not to care. He will still care. He will always have your back, and he will move heaven and earth to make you happy.

Sadly, this is not the case with your man. You feel ousted, jilted, and lonely. You desperately need his support, but he’s missing in action.

Will he even bother if you don’t send him a text message?

Guess why you don’t get a morning message from him to ask how you are? Because quite frankly darling, he isn’t interested.

If you’re in this boat, not only is it incredibly disrespectful, it’s a blatant sign that he’s not interested in you anymore.

4) Emotionally he’s far away, and he’s more interested in being on his own

When your man is in love with you, he will always try to find a way to be close to you. Both physically and emotionally.

Healthy relationships are built on a foundation of emotional commitment and intimacy. But, with that said; lately, you’re not getting it, and he seems a million miles away.

Also, do you feel like you’re invisible? Like you no longer exist, and he’s living his best life without you?

You always did mutual decision-making, but now, he plans and doesn’t include you.

You’ve also started to feel out of place when you’re around him, like he’s pretending to be alone.

Suppose you’re going through this. I’m sorry to break it to you, but he’s not in love with you anymore.

If he’s not feeling the emotional connection or if you feel invisible, I’m really sorry to break it to you.

These are all huge red flags that he is more than likely no longer feeling the love.

5) He asks that you give him some space

This is such a cliche!

It’s normal to want to have a breather once the honeymoon phase dies off.

Perhaps you want to spend time with friends and family since you’ve been with each other every waking moment since you met. But, as the old saying goes, familiarity breeds contempt.

However, if you guys have been together for some time and he “needs space,”; this is a complete cop-out.

Understandably, we all need space, but when a man “needs space” (especially when things are going downhill), it’s an excellent way of telling you to back off and that he doesn’t want to be around you.

I know it hurts, and it might sound harsh, but I prefer not sugar-coating it for you.

6) He never gets jealous

In fact…

It is impossible for a man never to get jealous. However, every one of them has a bit of jealousy over you that they don’t admit to. 

It’s just a question of how well they hide it. 

So logically, with careful observation, you will notice if he isn’t jealous at all. And that is a terrible sign.

If your man does not mind you hanging out with guys all the time or going out with your girlfriends, this is already a sign. 

Love will always make a man scared that someone will take their lady away from them. In that case, perhaps he wants someone to take you away from him.

7) You have lost the ability to communicate with each other

If you and your boyfriend are struggling or are unable to communicate with each other, this is an awful sign.

Ask any relationship expert or happily married couple; communication is everything. It’s not possible to be in a happy and healthy relationship without it.

So, how do you tell if you’re having these problems? 

Simple, there are four questions that you need to ask yourself

  • Am I 100% at ease and comfortable talking about problems or issues I face?
  • Does he only hear me, or does he actively listen and acknowledge what I say?
  • Do I know what’s currently going on in his personal life?
  • Are we still able to hold deep and meaningful conversations?

If the answer to any of these questions is no, it’s time to take a step back and re-evaluate. Is it worth wasting energy on someone who can’t fulfill the four simple requests above?

If not – Good for you! You’re starting to wake up. But, if yes, you will have to dig deep to salvage what’s left.

8) You’re running on empty because he doesn’t compromise

He never compromises. Regardless of what it is, it just simply doesn’t happen.

So, when this happens, you turn into the employee within the relationship. 

You’re the one always re-shuffling your diary, juggling life, and having to avail yourself the moment he snaps his fingers and wants something.

Compromise is a halfway street, and although no one likes to compromise, it’s necessary. It’s give and take and should balance things out. 

One partner cannot always be expected to give in. That’s a dictatorship, not a relationship and, it’s not fair!

If your boyfriend is digging in his heels and refusing to compromise, he’s either got a death wish (lol, just kidding), or he’s blatantly revealing that he feels feathers for you. 

Sorry, hon.

9) He’s temperamental, moody, and downright nasty…and, it’s getting worse

You’ll notice that this is the most extended tip in the article and, with good reason. 

I have had the displeasure of being stuck in a toxic relationship, and dealing with a temperamental, moody, and nasty man is spiritually, mentally, and physically exhausting.

If you’re dating a narcissist, these traits amplify by thousands! – been there, done that.

  • He’s always in a bad mood.

So, with that said, if your boyfriend is always in a foul mood, it’s an indicator that things are not right. 

Sure, nobody’s perfect, and we all have an off day from time to time; however, there are limits.

You’ll notice that he’s different and off-ish with you. 

Maybe, he’s even trying to hide it, but that’s not possible. Energy doesn’t lie. Being around someone who has a permanent black cloud hovering over their head is toxic. 

Those bad vibes permeate every cell within you and can make you sick, both physically and mentally.

So, as I mentioned, an off day here and there is not abnormal; however, if this becomes his MO (modus operandi), take it as a sign girl.

He doesn’t love you anymore.

  • He’s always angry and agitated.

Along with constant bad vibes, he’ll be angry. ALL THE TIME. You will also be the target of his anger. (even if you’re not the one who made him angry?!)

Sadly, this is a sign that I’m all too familiar and 100% relatable…

Using my previous relationship as an example, I always watched my words and phrased them. Saying what I wanted to was never an option.

It was almost as if my mere existence angered him. 

He’d go from ordinary to threat level midnight in a matter of seconds, shouting, snapping, and just being angry – for no reason at all. 

It wasn’t like I was provoking him; I was merely breathing.

As a result, I started losing my sense of self-worth and completely lost my self-confidence. 

Had I just let go when I first noticed that he no longer gave a [email protected], I could have spared myself the heartache, time, and therapy bill.

On that note…

Something that my therapist said really resonated with me. 

She explained that the anger wasn’t because of me but instead directed at me. He likely had issues with his choices up until that point and was unhappy with his life in general.

I felt much better after hearing that, and I don’t dwell on it anymore.

I’m sorry to say this, but this is a huge red alert sign that your relationship is coming to an end.

This is one of the disturbing signs he doesn’t love you anymore.

  • He’s rude and disrespects you.

He is harsh. It doesn’t matter if you’re in private or in a public space. He doesn’t watch what he says.

This disrespectful behavior is another red flag that your relationship is coming to an end.

In doing so, he’s trying to drive you away with his rudeness because chances are he doesn’t have the guts to man up and tell you that he doesn’t love you anymore.

IF you begin noticing that he’s acting rude and has a snarky comment for everything, call him out, or, even better, leave.

  • He enjoys belittling you (especially when he has an audience.

This is one of the more disturbing signs as to why he no longer loves you.

Does you guy go out of his way to try and belittle you? Then, regardless of whether friends or family are around, he makes it his duty to make you the butt of his jokes?

If this has become a frequent occurrence in your relationship so much so that you can’t remember when last he’s shown you the respect you deserve, it’s a huge, red, deafening sign that he’s over it.

Most of us turn a blind eye to this primarily out of denial but (and if he’s a joker), but when you look past the joke and notice the personal attack that’s intended for you, I hope you run,   

Maybe he’s realized he doesn’t love you (or is in the process of discovering it) and doesn’t want to face those consequences.

  • Collateral damage during arguments

If your man spews venom at you, and you fight for the sake of who can fight the hardest. You are no longer in an unhealthy relationship; you’re in an abusive one.

We all quarrel and say things we don’t mean in the heat of the moment, but there’s a fine line. If all you do is fight and argue, it’s not a positive sign that your relationship will survive.

The whole reason we fight and argue is to resolve the mishap, get over it, and make up.

If your boyfriend tries to go for the kill shot during a fight and destroy you with his words, honey, you need to leave. Your man no longer loves you, and your safety is at stake.

10) He doesn’t need your opinion anymore

Relationships are about sharing, caring, and compromise. Sure, it’s not like he needs your permission or anything but, when you’re in a committed partnership, the decisions affect one another.

Maybe he wants to change jobs, and seeing as you live together will affect you. Or, he argues with a coworker or decides he wants to start wearing a man bun.

It doesn’t matter what it is; the fact is that if he wants to change something, you would usually be the one he asks for advice.

If this is not happening, it’s evident that he does not value your opinion. Unfortunately, you’ll probably always be the last to find out, or; you have no idea what’s going on in his life. 

Simply put. You don’t matter, and he doesn’t want you to weigh in.

11) He’s acting shady, downright shady! Secrets lie and hide

Does he smile when he looks down at his phone, or does he move to another room when his phone rings?

Also, the moment he puts the phone down, he’s out the door and doesn’t tell you where he’s going or with who?

If this scenario accurately depicts your man. It’s not a good sign.

If you’re in a relationship and for all, if you live together, you have to share. 

Everything. If he doesn’t bother telling you where he is going (because you will worry and be curious), it’s a stark reminder that he has stopped caring about you.

  • He lies to you

Look, we all have things we would rather keep to ourselves; that’s perfectly normal. 

The type of lies I’m describing here are the big ones. 

For example, perhaps he’s just won a nice sum of money, or he denies being at a particular restaurant (but you have the receipt). 

Also, does he make excuses every time you call him?

If he’s hiding things from you, it’s a sign of disrespect. He doesn’t value the relationship or you as a partner.

He’s most likely too much of a coward to tell you to your face that you’re over and perpetuates lies to avoid the harsh truth.

  • He hides his phone

Does he move away from you when he’s texting so you can’t see his phone? Also, have you done everything possible besides cutting off his finger to access his phone?

It’s impossible, right, because it’s either always in his hands (never leaves his side), and on the odd occasion where you do happen to find it lying around, it is more secure than Buckingham Palace.

This is a cheating alert!

Let’s say somehow you manage to breach his phone’s security system.

You’re viewing his social media accounts, and he’s messaging other women?!

His dm’s are on fire, and he’s got women from around the world sending him friend requests—Insta, Facebook, Snapchat; you name it.

How is this possible if he loves you?

It’s not. This guy is a player and is taking you for a fool.

If these resonate with you, take it as an obvious sign that he doesn’t have any feelings for you. A piece of sage advice: save yourself the headache and get out. While you still can.

12) He doesn’t make time for you

We all have busy lives—work, family, commitments other than our significant others.

But, a man that is genuinely in love with you will make every effort to find time for you.

If he’s a gamer, he finds the time to game, right?

What about his friends? I bet he finds plenty of time to spend with them.

When we love someone, we will go to the ends of the earth to be with them. It’s how love works; it’s not rocket science.

Suppose your man doesn’t bother. Game and friends take priority over you. Let that marinade.

What else is there to say other than It’s over.

13) He hesitates when you say, “I love you.”

Ouch, this one hurts…

The worst part is that he hesitates every time you tell him how much you love him. Maybe he responds with “thank you” or “you too.” It’s like being cut with a knife that owes you money, i tell you.

You don’t want to admit it. But, deep down, you know. Your gut tells you that he doesn’t feel the same way.

What more do you need if your boyfriend hesitates to answer you after telling him that you love him? A billboard? It’s safe to say that he has made his intentions crystal clear.

14) You’re not part of his plans. You’re an option.

It is a telling sign if he’s making plans that don’t include you.

Without using words, he’s revealing that he doesn’t fancy spending time with you.

I’m ashamed to admit it, but I’ve done this.

I felt like I was forced into a relationship with this guy and planned to break it off with him in person; however, he kept texting me and making plans. 

I kept making stupid excuses, and eventually, I ghosted him.

I just wasn’t into him, and I didn’t want to break his heart. So there, I said it!

No one is perfect.

Coming back to the topic, if your boyfriend puts you at the bottom of his list in terms of priorities, this is a big red flag that your relationship will not make it.

If given a choice between spending time with you or his friends, he chooses the latter or, if you’re stuck with a flat tire and need his help, he makes excuses for why he can’t help you.

A man that loves you will put you first. 

Also, he will go to the ends of the earth to rescue his damsel in distress, so if this is not the case. Goodbye.

15) He makes you feel like you’re not good enough.

This is one of the worst things you’ll have to endure. It’s impossible and downright exhausting.

Trying to satisfy someone who cannot be satisfied.

You know what I mean, the type where nothing is good enough. 

You do as he asks but still dares to find fault with what you’ve done. And then, suggest how he can do it better.

These behaviors are usually associated with people with narcissistic tendencies. 

They love making their partners feel incapable and inferior. 

It’s like a drug, and they get off on seeing you insecure and vulnerable.

Ladies. Listen up. You will NEVER satisfy a man like this. You will never get any credit for what you do. He doesn’t love you. He is using you.

The end. Full stop. Period.

At the end of the day…

I’m so sorry that you’ve had to Google “Why doesn’t my boyfriend love me.”

You deserve to feel loved, respected, and to be treated like you are the gorgeous, captivating woman that you are.

If you’ve nodded along while reading this article, I’m afraid it’s time to face the facts and come to terms with them.

Although relationships require work, love should feel effortless, not like you’re constantly doing the wrong thing and are trying to please someone who isn’t worth a minute of your time.

So, with that said. Dump the deadweight. Do the things you love, look after yourself, and stay positive.

The right guy will come along. Don’t settle for someone who makes you feel like an option when you should be a priority.

You deserve so much better!

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

Click here to get started.