Why does my husband seek female attention? 13 big reasons

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Is your husband constantly flirting with women, more likely to strike up conversations with other women than you, and is chronically looking for female validation? 

Do you find yourself getting more and more lonely and worried each day because of it? 

Let’s check the 13 big reasons why your husband may be looking for female attention.

1) He’s a narcissist

Narcissists are so into themselves, that they aren’t giving you any attention. They are seeking approval from others since they think highly of themselves and just can’t understand why you don’t see them as all that special.  

The worse part is, they might try to find this attention to other women just to rub it in. This doesn’t mean that he’s doing this to make you jealous or get back at you, it’s just a narcissist thing.

They turn to constant attention from others to validate who they think they are. That’s why they will turn to other women for attention as to simply put, narcissists are insecure.

Maybe it was too late for you to know that you’ve married a narcissist, but you can be aware of these signs and see if you recognize them in your husband.

Narcissistic men are constantly seeking validation from others, especially if he’s been married for a while. 

You have to remember that he’s not doing this to hurt you. It’s something that he can’t help because of his insecurities and the way he perceives himself.

Dealing with a narcissist, especially if it’s your husband, is difficult, but with the right approach, you can do it. You just need to be patient and realize that it will take time for him to change.

2) He’s a playboy

A playboy is just looking for a little excitement in his life, and a way to do this is to find a little female attention. 

For whatever reason, they’re having difficulty finding female companionship themselves and they’ve become so desperate they’ve decided to actively seek it out.  

They think that flirting with other women will somehow make them feel better or less lonely. This is a way they can get a little “high” or excited, but in reality, it’s just hurting the relationship and them.

Many playboys have even been married and are either unhappily married or have divorced their wives, and so seek attention from others. 

Maybe it’s too late to save your marriage, but if you want to understand why he’s doing it, he has his reasons. It’s not a secret why playboys seek out female attention.

3) He thinks he’s in a troubled marriage

If your husband is unhappy in his marriage and wants to seek female attention, he may do this as a way to escape the problems of the relationship. 

In other words, your husband may be thinking “outside the box” of his marriage and seeking outside validation for an escape from what he feels is a troubling situation with you. If this confirms what you’ve sensed, then you need to help him to get out of that situation.

The truth is, getting a marriage coach can help you help your husband and get him out of his down cycle. 

Statistics show that after working with a marriage or family therapist, 93 percent of patients said they had more effective tools for dealing with their problems. Respondents also reported improved physical health and the ability to function better at work after attending therapy.

Yes, it’s time for you to get a marriage coach, and I’m confident that you can rely on Relationship Coach – they are a team of expert marriage coaches who have helped thousands of couples improve their relationships to save them from separation or divorce.

Through them, you’ll discover more of your husband and realize what’s causing him to seek female attention. If he’s unhappy in your marriage, your marriage coach will certainly be able to help you guys get through it so you can be happy and secure again.

Are you going to wait until your marriage is over or are you going to start working with a marriage coach today?

Click here to get started.

4) He’s looking for attention from you

Maybe he’s completely unaware of what he’s doing, but that doesn’t mean that you should turn a blind eye to it.

He’s constantly looking for female validation because he feels bad about something that happened in the past. He may be feeling rejected or like he hasn’t been getting enough attention from you, so he needs a little bit more support from other women.

Check it yourself: Have you been so busy lately that you’ve been giving him less attention than usual? Have you noticed how he looks neglected or lonely lately?

Do you feel like he’s not getting enough attention from you, so he needs some reassurance? 

This is telling you that he’s looking for female attention to make himself feel better and get rid of the feelings of rejection. 

Take the time to spend more time with him again and do things he likes to do.

Your husband isn’t doing this because he doesn’t love you; it’s just that the relationship needs a little work.

5) He’s not attracted to you anymore

Maybe you just haven’t noticed it, but he’s not attracted to you anymore. He’s not giving you the attention that he used to, and he’s being more distant than usual. This can be a real challenge to deal with because you’re supposed to be his priority and respite.

If this is the case, there are more chances of him looking for female attention because he would have to feel attracted to you. 

If he’s still interested in looking for female attention, do you know what that means? He’s not concentrating on you. He’s got some insecurities about the relationship or his own feelings, which is why he thinks that there’s someone better out there. 

This doesn’t mean that you’re the entire problem, though; it means that he’s actually looking for female attention to distract himself from these feelings.

6) He’s trying to be popular

Maybe he’s gathering some female friends or more close to his female colleagues at work to try to be more popular with the ladies. 

If he’s trying to be popular, it can mean that he’s trying to prove something and make up for the feelings of rejection you’ve always sensed from him. 

You see, he may be trying to prove to himself that he’s fine and not the reject he feels inside.

He wants to feel “popular” and win over the attention of women in hopes that he will feel better about himself. Others may have told him that you’re not all that, so he needs women who are prettier or smarter than you if he wants to prove them wrong. 

7) He has insecurities

Is your husband dealing with insecurities? Insecurities can really chip away at a relationship, but they’re also the cause of our emotional states.

If he’s lacking confidence and has some self-doubts, it can seep into his relationship because he’ll feel worse about himself. And to try to deny these feelings, he will turn to other women. 

I’m not saying that you’re completely to blame for his insecurities, but if he’s been looking for female attention, it may be that he’s trying to distract himself from his struggles.

Where are you getting your support from? Is it all from inside your relationship or are you getting some from other places? 

I’m telling you, you need to bring out the hero in him. I liked him the way he was, but when my boyfriend didn’t believe in himself, he struggled emotionally and socially to the point that it was affecting our relationship. 

And when I thought of giving him up since it was really dragging me down too, I came across of the hero instinct. I learned from relationship expert James Bauer that triggering the inner hero of a man can make a huge difference in his confidence and outlook on life.

Insecurity can be a real killer. 

This explains why he’s trying to seek female attention. He needs someone or something to boost him up and make him feel good about himself. 

So, if you want your relationship to thrive, click here to watch the excellent free video.

8) He craves the sense of being loved

He was never loved as a child and he doesn’t know how to love others. He craves the sense of being loved that he never had.

And he wants to fill up that void by seeking out female attention from others. It’s a way for him to feel loved. But in reality, he’s just seeking attention from other women to fulfill his desires.

If you take care of him, and make him feel good about himself, you will end this craving for female attention.

He may not look for female attention … but why not? He’s looking for someone who can make him feel loved and give him that sense of being wanted and needed.

Maybe you’ve noticed that your husband doesn’t really like being alone…ever. He does not like it at all. It makes him feel lonely, disconnected and afraid. So he turns to other women just to feel the connection again.  

You know that he gets a kick out of having female attention from other women. 

9) He’s bored with you

Maybe he’s found some other woman who can give him the attention he needs. If you do an evaluation, you might find that he’s turned to other women because he feels bored with you. 

He can be easily bored, and he’ll find someone who can give him a little bit of attention or interest. He wants to feel excited again.

And if he’s looking for female attention, it may be that you’ve been with him for a long time and he’s feeling for something more. 

When a marriage feels like it’s falling apart, usually one or both of the partners have lost interest in each other. 

It’s never too late to turn things around.

10) He’s secretly cheating on you

Since we’re talking about looking for female attention, there’s no way that you could be sure that your husband isn’t having an affair behind your back. He might be cheating on you, though.

If you take it upon yourself to know how and who he’s spending his time with, and really put pressure on him about his relational needs, you may find out that he has a female friend who is giving him attention and just wants to be with him. 

Another possibility is he’s trying to seek a woman’s attention online – perhaps you can tell because he’s been taking an interest in his social media and been following certain women – or a woman he’s just met. 

It can be a very delicate situation because you may want to confront him, but don’t want to make things worse. You might make him feel like he doesn’t have anything to lose by looking for female attention, so he’ll cheat sooner or later. 

11) You’re not enough for him

If your husband has decided that you are not enough for him, he will seek validation from other women. He will want better for himself and he will look for the attention of other women in hopes that he will find what he’s looking for.

You should know that you’re not enough if your husband asks you to do something that is too far out of your comfort zone. This can be really hard on a marriage, but it’s his way of telling you that you’re not enough for him … or maybe even himself.

He may not look for female attention, but if you take care of him and fulfill his relational needs on a daily basis, he won’t need to look for someone else. 

He will be peaceful with the relationship that he has and he will no longer feel the need to seek out female attention from other women because he will feel loved enough. He will realize that you alone are enough for him.

12) He feels like he’s not being seen for who he is anymore

There are moments that we want something different in life, and that’s the case with his behavior. 

Maybe your husband wants to start over by having some female attention. He may just be looking for another woman’s company because he misses having someone to talk to or somebody who can listen to him and give him some emotional support.

Are you trying to change him? If so, that can really affect the relationship. You may be trying to change him from the inside out and he may not agree with your changes.

We can’t control someone else’s behavior. Unless he has a physical or mental health problem, I don’t think that you have the right to change him in any way. He will appreciate your kindness and he will respond accordingly, but changing him is not going to help things. 

When you’re married, you should respect each other’s differences. If you don’t respect his differences, things will not be good. 

He may not look for female attention because he doesn’t want to change the way he treats you and your marriage. He just wants to feel loved, respected and appreciated for who he is on the inside and outside. 

Just love him for who he is – that’s all that matters. If you don’t appreciate who he is as a man and husband, maybe you should reconsider your marriage.

13) Nothing to worry, he is just friendly

It’s in his nature, your husband is just friendly. There’s no hint of malice or any ill-will. He’s just friendly and likes to make acquaintances.

You may not help it but to feel jealous or worried, but you really don’t need to feel that way. He’s not really looking for female attention, he just has a magnetic personality that draws people in. He’s just being friendly and making acquaintances … nothing else.

It’s time to set aside that jealousy and set him free because he will only look for female attention if you stick your nose into his business. He doesn’t want that, so just let him be. 

Trust him to make friends. 

But if you’re really bothered by it, try talking to him about it and see what he thinks. 

Final words

To wrap it up, the reasons why he may look for female attention may really vary from one situation to another.

It can be because of sexual frustration, missing the touch and affection of a woman, or just seeking attention from a female friend. Your husband’s personality will dictate why he’s looking for female attention.

Whatever the reason may be, it’s not about you but about him. If you understand that, you can move on with your life, while respecting his personality and breaking the shackles of jealousy.

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

Click here to get started.