16 reasons a guy gives you attention but then ignores you (and what to do about it)

We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. Read our affiliate disclosure.

We’ve all had that experience with a guy you’re interested in… he seems to pay attention, but then just stops.

You give him your number and he doesn’t call. You ask him out, but he doesn’t say yes or no. (Or acts like a jerk in some other way.) You get a few texts, then nothing.

There’s a reason he gave you the attention… and you need to know it so that you can deal with him appropriately.

Here are 16 reasons he gives you attention, but then ignores you… and what to do about each one.

1) To see if you’re really interested in him too.

You’ve given him your number but hasn’t called yet for an actual date… so he’s not sure if you’re really interested or just being nice. 

He’s asking for a date to see if he should pursue things with you. This can be a little flattering, and he may be correct in thinking you’re interested, but it’s also obnoxious since it affects your ability to decide if you want to be with him or not.

You don’t want to call him back, because you still annoyingly wonder if you should make that call. But meeting him can turn into an uncomfortable situation.

Don’t let this continue. If he really wants to see if you’re interested, then he should call you by now. 

He knows how to get your number and how to call you – he’s just stalling because he’s not sure (or doesn’t want) to take things further. 

His attention is basically saying “I’m going to call or text you and see if you even care. If you’re not interested, I don’t have to go out with you. If you are, then maybe we can meet up.”

Tell him that, and that if he wants to know if you’re interested, then he should give you a date (and make it clear what the date is). 

You’re not going to get a date with him if he’s just going to call you and see back – but after a while, he’ll probably drop it altogether.

2) He’s just too busy.

Maybe he’d like to go on a date with you, but he’s just too busy right now.

This is usually the case, especially if you’re just trying to get him to call or text you.

He doesn’t have time to go out with you and he’s trying to find a way to tell you that.

If he gives you attention but then ignores you… maybe it’s because of this reason.

But again, even if this is the case, don’t keep giving him attention. That will just keep him around until he has time (or more likely, until he finds someone else).

It’s okay because he doesn’t have time right now… but don’t give him attention just because of this.

It’s true!

You’ve given him your number and he didn’t call, so maybe his schedule is filling up fast, and he doesn’t have time for a “maybe” date.

If that’s the case, then you can either continue to wait for him… or stop waiting for him. 

3) He’s losing interest in you slowly.

Maybe he’s losing interest in you, and then acting cold towards you to see if he can get you to go away.

You’re giving him too much attention and he wants to see if you’ll leave him alone.

I think this is most likely when it seems like he’s been ignoring your calls/texts/emails for a while. He’s not trying to be a jerk, just to see if you might be going away.

He wants to make sure that you leave him alone because he doesn’t want to go out with you (or make the effort).

This is one of the most frustrating ones. You give him your number (or ask him out), and then he suddenly doesn’t act all that interested anymore.

When this happens, don’t ask for his attention anymore. He won’t give it to you now because he probably thinks you’re annoying or crazy. 

4) There’s something else going on in his life.

Maybe he’s waiting for something to happen in his life and he can’t be bothered right now.

I do think it’s possible that there’s something else going on in his life. You might just want to be patient and wait until everything is sorted out.


Sometimes this can take a while because we don’t understand what’s happening, but things need time to change in other parts of our lives before we can commit fully to things.

Sometimes we just have to wait, and that’s okay. 

If you’re waiting for him to call and he isn’t, don’t keep trying to get his attention. He’ll probably think you’re annoying or clingy if you keep contacting him like this.

Don’t go off on dates too quickly either – people sometimes do this because they feel desperate for love, but it can be a huge mistake… because a bad date can make someone feel even more desperate for love.

5) He’s too shy to talk to you directly.

Maybe he doesn’t want to look like a fool. Maybe he’s so shy that he can’t bear to talk to you and get rejected. But still, somehow, he managed to call or text you first. 

Men who are shy will often give attention through actions rather than through words. He might just say that things are “fine” when asked how work is going… but do something (like cook you dinner) that shows that things aren’t fine at all. 

He’s trying to hint at you that he cares but doesn’t have enough self-confidence to really tell you directly. 

Try to give him a little feedback on how to do this better next time.

He’s a very sensitive soul… so he should know that he’s being too shy, and needs to work on it. His actions speak louder than words, and if he wants you in his life, then he needs to be more direct about it.

6) He’s just not that into you.

Maybe he knows he’s not ready for a relationship… or maybe you’re just not who he wants to be with. You may think that his lack of attention means that he cares – but the opposite may actually be the case. 

He likes you, but you’re just not what he really wants. His lack of attention is him letting you down easy… before it goes any further and becomes more painful.

You’ll have to deal with all of this in the end – but, at least, it’ll be over sooner rather than later.

Just be honest and tell him that you’re not sure if this could work out and that you’d like to keep things friendly. He may lose interest as a result… but he’s free to move on too. 

And maybe he will… if his intentions were not serious from the beginning! 

7) He needs space.

Maybe he feels like he’s being suffocated and has to escape from you. 

Sometimes guys don’t really like the idea of having a relationship, but they feel like they have to go along with it until they find someone better. 

They might even feel relieved when they are done with you, because they just want to be free again.

This is where space comes into play… right? 

After all, if you’re going out on dates, then it can feel a little strained. You want more than space…

I encourage you to not be too pushy or aggressive… but make him aware of your intentions and make sure that he’s okay with that.

If he’s not okay with it, then he might be getting away as a result. You’re giving him too much space so he has to escape from you! 

Be careful. It’s important not to get frustrated or annoyed when you’re in this kind of situation. 

Instead, be patient, and wait for the right time to approach him again…

8) He lost his phone.

Maybe he lost his phone and you couldn’t get in touch with him. 

Don’t be too hard on yourself. It happens to everyone sometimes! Heck, sometimes we lose our phones and can’t remember a lot of the numbers associated with our contacts list.

It’s ok, we can just add them again! Maybe he didn’t even have your number yet? I’ve done that before… so it’s not that bad at all!

Don’t get overly worried about this…

9) You’re annoying him.

Maybe you’re doing something that is annoying him (and making him not want to even be with you)

For example, maybe you’re always messaging/calling him… or maybe he’s just getting annoyed by the way you look and act. 

If he doesn’t like being around you all the time, then he’s not going to want to be with you. He might even try to avoid being around me when I’m in this type of state, so that we can both get some space.

He might not like your personality or the particular type of person you are. This kind of situation is particularly common when he’s meeting you for the first time and he’s not sure what to think of you yet.

And on top of that… he may think that you’re too aggressive or crazy if you keep trying to get his attention after he already told you that he was busy.

He doesn’t want to be with you. If you keep trying to get his attention, that’ll just make things worse.

Just give him some time, and he’ll make things clear soon enough. 

10) You upset him somehow.

Sometimes people just don’t like an individual they are dating at all. Maybe he’s not even sure – but he’s just not the right person for you

You upset him somehow, and now he doesn’t want to be around you anymore.

And you need to take responsibility for this mistake!


You need to be more careful of what you do in the future so that this doesn’t happen again… so that this man isn’t the one who will no longer want to be in your life.

There’s nothing wrong with being a little pushy, as long as you’re respectful. As long as you’re not demanding too much attention, then he can respect your application to get his attention. 

But sometimes we just don’t work out well together. If you’re pushy enough, he might even start to feel bad about the way he’s treating you.

11) He’s playing hard to get.

He wants to make you fall for him, and then he will ignore you.

He wants you to put more effort into making him yours.

Think about it:

He doesn’t want to be so easy for you to have him.

If he doesn’t have you, he doesn’t need it, and then he’ll just go away from you.

This is hard for a person who wants to start a relationship to believe that. 

But this is what he’s thinking: If I give up too easily, then she will not want me anymore, so I need to make her work harder to get back in my life.

12) He only wants something specific from you.

Perhaps he’s only interested in you for a very specific purpose. 

For example, he might be using you as an “interim” girlfriend because he doesn’t have time to look for anyone else. 

Or maybe he just wants to hook up with you, but without any of the messy relationship involved! 

He might also want to be friends with you, or even just casually hook up with you if it comes along your way.

And you might start to feel like he’s leading you on because he seems interested in you…

But, if this is the case, then he’s really just not interested in a serious relationship with you. 

He might try to do a little more to make it seem like it’s more than what it actually is, but if he wants some friends with benefits… then that’s all that it’ll be! 

13) He’s having a bad day.

Everyone has a bad day sometimes. Sometimes our friends and family are busy, or we can’t afford to see them on our day off. 

It’s not fun – but it happens! If he wanted to be around you, then he would be. He might even just be a little tired!

One thing that is important to remember while you’re in this type of situation is that there’s nothing wrong with being honest with him about your feelings.

Maybe you’re in the middle of an argument with each other… and he just needs time to himself. 

He may not want to be around you, especially if he’s not feeling great. 

If they didn’t have time to themselves, they might even lose their temper with you! And that can be a really scary and frustrating situation to be in. 

14) His family and friends don’t like you.

This is an extremely tough situation!

Here’s why:

He doesn’t want you to come over to their house, because his mom or friends might not like you… that’s a little awkward!

He might want to avoid an argument as well so that they don’t get angry with him. 

Don’t take this kind of situation personally! It’s just a matter of his friends and family not liking you…

He might want to spend time with them more than he wants to be with you, and that’s totally okay!

To avoid this scenario, just approach them carefully. Don’t be aggressive, but let them know that your intentions are good…

15) He’s confused about his feelings for you.

Other times he might be just confused about what his feelings are for you. 

For example, maybe if you pressed him for a commitment and he wasn’t sure about it, then that would make him not want to be with you anymore. 

He might not be ready for a relationship!

Also, maybe if he wants to see other people… but doesn’t feel like it’s the right time to introduce other girls into the picture then that’s likely to irritate you. 

Or maybe you’re already having a hard time with your own feelings about him…

That’s right!

You need to wait for him to make things clearer before you push this kind of relationship (because it’s probably not going to work out well!) 

16) He only cares about you as a friend.

If he only wants you as a friend – then he’s not interested in being with you at all. 

And this means that shortly after ending things, things will start getting awkward between the two of you.

You’ll have to start planning your life around being without him (because you’re no longer dating). 

Or it might be difficult to see each other – because he doesn’t want to date you! 

If you want to be friends with him, then that’s all you should ever want. But if you expect more, then that’s a relationship that is way too far gone. 

So now what? Well, you probably have a few choices:

You can wait for him. (But honestly, you’re going to miss out on meeting someone else!)

If this guy is special to you or you have big feelings for him, you can choose to wait for him.

If you want to be with him, then you might just want to wait for him to realize that he wants to be with you. 

It’s worth it. It’s worth the wait!

Believe me!

You just have to keep an open mind and stay positive about this situation. 

You can text/call him – but give yourself a time limit and stick to it.

You can check on him by texting or calling.


Don’t try to call him multiple times. Because it only makes him find you more annoying.

You should only call him once or twice a week, or only check-in by text message once or twice a week.

If he never contacts you, then you can just go ahead and move on! It would be nice to be able to talk to him about how you’re feeling… but he’s probably not even thinking about you.

You can see if you can make things work with someone else and let him go since it doesn’t sound like he’s into you.

What do you think the best option is? Well, only you know that…

You deserve a better man. This guy isn’t worth waiting for to respond or contact you.

But you need to think long and hard about the situations that you’ve been going through if you want to make any kind of decision. 

You need to really think about it. And then do something about it!

Honestly, though, some of these situations can be really frustrating! They can make you feel like the only thing you can do is just wait for him…but even that is a waste of time.

Therefore, instead of wasting time on that kind of man, you can move on and find someone else for yourself!

You can just accept that he doesn’t want you to be his girlfriend. 

It’s quite normal for one person to want a relationship and another person not – but that doesn’t mean you’re not a good enough girl. You’re probably just not his kind. 

And if he’s not into you, then it’s time to move on and seek the right person out.

Learn how to take it easy, and just decide that you need a man who treats you the way you deserve. 

It’s the best way to move on with your life and meet someone else who wants to be with you… without being upset.

Final Thoughts:

By now you should have a good idea of why a guy gives you attention but then ignores you (and what to do about it). But if you’re still unsure, I recommend getting in touch with a trustworthy advisor.

When I needed deeper insight into what was going on in my love life, I spoke with a genuine psychic from Psychic Source. My experience was completely different from what I had in mind.

Instead of receiving general advice and predictions, she provided specific answers that were tailored to my concerns. What’s more, she recommended a course of action.

She was able to help me see the bigger picture and break through my love rut for good.

If you’ve never been to a psychic, I understand your reluctance. But trust me, they’re just so different from what you’ve been led to believe. They can actually empower you to make the best decisions when it comes to your love life.

Click here to get your own reading.

Did you like our article? Like me on Facebook to see more articles like this in your feed.