15 surprising reasons a guy acts interested one day and not the next (and what to do)

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Let’s face it, sometimes, guys can be weird and unpredictable.

One day they can be all over you and the next day they act like they barely know you. The problem is that it’s often difficult to figure out why they are acting this way.

Below, we unpack 15 surprising reasons a guy acts interested in you one day and not the next and some practical tips on what you can do. Let’s dive in!

1) He’s not ready for a relationship yet

You read it right.

It’s possible that a guy is interested in you but isn’t ready for a relationship yet.

If you notice him acting interested in you one day and not the next, it might be because he is not yet ready to commit to you.

This is especially true if he just broke up with an ex-girlfriend. He may not want to jump into a new relationship too quickly.

He might be attracted to you but not ready to explore a relationship with you yet.

So, what should you do?

If you suspect this might be the case, you can try confirming with him if he’s ready for a relationship or not. 

If he’s not ready for a relationship yet, he will probably tell you. From there, you can either wait for him to be ready or try moving on. It’s up to you.

But it’s important to remember not to force him into a relationship before he is ready for one.

2) He wants to hook up but you don’t

Does he often invite you over to his place but you decline?

Do you find him always trying to get you alone but you constantly refuse?

This could be one of the reasons why he acted interested one day and ignored you the next.

He is clearly interested in hooking up with you but you are not and he felt your resistance and it made him step back. 


If a serious relationship is what you want, then you need to let him know.

Be upfront and honest with him about why you are avoiding situations where you two are left alone.

Tell him that you love spending time with him — and probably hook up down the road — but you want to do it with someone who’s on the same page with you.

If you feel like you are constantly finding yourself being pressured to sleep with him, then you might want to reevaluate going out with this guy.

3) He doesn’t feel needed

If a guy acts interested in you one day and not the next, it could be because you made him feel less like a hero.

Did you know that men enjoy feeling like a hero?

There’s a new theory in the relationship world that’s causing quite a stir – it’s called the hero instinct.

Coined by relationship expert James Bauer, this fascinating concept finally explains how men really think and feel in relationships. And it’s something most women have never even heard of. 

According to James Bauer, men don’t actually need a lot to feel content in their relationships. In fact, what they need has nothing to do with sex. 

Men have certain innate drivers. And when a woman comes along and triggers them, it causes a powerful response. The result is a man who will be committed and interested in you all the way — not someone who just acts interested when he wants and gets cold the next.

So, how can you trigger your man’s hero instinct?

The easiest thing to do is to watch this simple and genuine video by James Bauer

The truth is, once you understand how the hero instinct works, there’s no telling what heights your relationship can reach. 

So if you want to give your man what he truly wants from you, make sure to check out James Bauer’s excellent video. In it, he reveals the exact texts and phrases you can use straight away.

Here’s a link to the free video again.

4) He realized you’re just a friend

Have you noticed him showing interest in you one day and putting you in a friend zone the next?

He might start liking you at first but as time went by, he realized that you’re not his girlfriend material.

Right now, he may have contemplated how to break it off with you. He might not want to do it, but he knows he has to. He just can’t find the right words and the right timing to say them.

So, here’s the deal:

If you feel the relationship is not going in the direction you expect, you can take the initiative to end it.

If you notice he’s not interested in you in a romantic way, try to take the initiative and end it yourself. It will save your pride and make him feel less guilty.

You’ll also get the satisfaction of knowing that you did the right thing by letting go of someone who’s not fully interested in you.

5) He thinks you’re too needy or clingy

Do you constantly text him and expect him to text you back right away?

Do you ask for his whereabouts and want him to keep you posted on what he’s doing?

If yes, this could be another reason why he is pulling away after telling you he’s interested in you.

He felt overwhelmed and it has become too much for him to handle. He might’ve realized he doesn’t want to deal with a clingy girlfriend in a relationship.

Let that sink in for a minute.

If you realized he is annoyed by your clinginess, then stop being so needy.

Don’t try to get his attention too much and give him space

It is important to give him space when he needs it and to respect his boundaries. This is one step you can do to keep the relationship healthy.

6) He doesn’t find you attractive enough

A guy might be interested in you but not attracted to you.

As you know, men are visual beings – they judge a woman from her appearance first.

If you feel that your looks are holding him back from wanting to pursue a relationship with you, then you should make some changes to yourself.

He might have second thoughts about dating you because there are ideal physical traits he didn’t find in you. This could be one reason why he acted interested one day and has been ignoring you the next.

So, want to make him attracted to you?

You can start by improving your body language and interaction with him so that he will find you more attractive.

Another thing you can do is to trigger his hero instinct.

I mentioned this fascinating concept earlier: the hero instinct. When a man’s inner hero is triggered, he’s more likely to be attracted to you.

Just by knowing the right things to say to him, you’ll open a part of him that no woman has ever reached before.

And the best way to do so is by watching this free video by James Bauer. In it, he’ll reveal simple phrases and texts you can use to make your man truly yours. 

Here’s a link to the excellent video again.

7) He’s not in the mood

If you’ve recently met a new guy and he seems to be pulling away from you after showing interest, it may be because you caught him at a bad time or in a bad mood.

If a guy is in a bad mood, he usually doesn’t want to talk much. He also usually doesn’t want to do things and he may not want to be around people.

This would explain why he might be ignoring your texts or declining to hang out with you.

So what should you do?

If you catch him at a bad time or in a bad mood, it’s best just to let him be.

Wait for him to open up and share what’s going on when you feel things have settled down.

The key here is to be patient and understanding of his situation and discerning the right timing to discuss things.

8) He’s emotionally unavailable

Emotionally unavailable men are afraid of getting hurt and oftentimes have trust issues with women.

If you discern this guy is emotionally unavailable, odds are he doesn’t believe that you’re capable of being his partner for life.

Not very inspiring, huh?

But this may have to do with his own insecurities or past relationships. 

It’s important to understand that emotionally unavailable men are not incapable of love or caring, but rather they have certain issues that need to be addressed before they can commit fully, emotionally, and physically.

What can you do about it?

If you notice he’s emotionally unavailable, ask yourself if you would be willing to accept him for where he is currently emotionally.

You should also remember that you can’t expect him to make a move on you any time soon.

If you can accept that fact, then continue dating him. It may take time for him to warm up to you but once he does, it might be worth it.

However, if you don’t want to deal with such guys, then it’s best to end the fling now.

9) He’s still in the dating phase

When you meet a guy who acts interested in you one day and suddenly goes MIA, he’s most likely still in the “dating phase.”

That’s when guys are actively dating lots of different women and not looking for a relationship. This phase means they are just trying to have as much fun as possible.

You may be able to tell if a guy is still in the dating phase when he:

  • Doesn’t ask you many questions about yourself or show much interest in getting to know you
  • Doesn’t talk much about his past relationships or current dating situation
  • Sees you as potential “booty call” material
  • Doesn’t suggest meeting friends or family
  • Usually doesn’t ask you out on a specific date

So, here’s the deal:

If you’re not looking into a serious relationship yet, you can continue dating him and having fun.

However, if you are someone who’s in the stage of settling down, then this guy might not be the one for you.

It might be good to cut it off and move on to someone who is ready for a relationship.

10) He has low self-esteem

It is possible that he acts interested in you one day and then ignores you the next because he has low self-esteem.

A guy with low self-esteem might not believe that someone as attractive as you could actually be interested in him.

He may think you are just being nice to him out of obligation since he’s one of your friends. He may even feel like you are pitying him or trying to help him out.

How do you help boost his self-esteem?

Start by helping him build up his self-esteem. Recognize that he has a lot of potentials and can succeed in life, even if he doesn’t see it himself.

Encourage him with the things he is good at and help him nurture the good parts of his personality and character.

Simply put, you can help him feel better about himself by not treating him like everyone else has in the past.

By doing so, you are making a big difference to his confidence and self-esteem.

11) He is taking it slow

You might have met a good guy who likes to take things slow and is looking for a long-lasting relationship and all the maturity that goes with it.

This is one good reason he doesn’t show he likes you all the time.

If you notice him taking it slow, then it would be good if you just go with the flow and trust the process.

The best crafts are not created in a day they say. A good relationship takes time and effort.

You will thank yourself later for waiting and letting him take the lead in the relationship.

12) He is a shy guy

Guys who are shy are usually not good at expressing how they feel.

Shy people can be pretty difficult to read. You will have probably noticed him looking at you with a shy smile but he might not know what to do afterward.

He wants to show you that he’s into you but he’s scared or nervous and may end up doing nothing. Ignoring you might not be their intention but sometimes that’s how it turns out.

A simple tip:

If you want a shy guy to make the first move, let him know that it is okay for him to be himself and take the lead in the relationship.

Dating a shy guy would be a bit challenging though.

But the truth is, understanding shy men is much easier than most women realize – we tend to overcomplicate things a lot.

I learned this from relationship expert Carlos Cavallo. He’s one of the world’s leading experts on relationship psychology and what men want from a relationship.

In this free video, he’ll explain everything you need to know about how to get through to your man.

13) His family and friends don’t like you

You might have met a really nice guy who you like but the problem is his family and friends don’t approve of you.

If he has parents that are very traditional, they might not like the fact that he is dating someone who is not from their culture.

Meanwhile, if your guy’s friends don’t like you, it could be because they think you are not the right person for their friend.

So if you notice this guy being distant all of a sudden, consider this as one reason behind it.

So how do you handle being in a situation like this?

Take a step back and see if there is a problem between you and his friends or family.

If they are holding strong opinions on your relationship and they feel like they are not being heard, you should consider talking to them about it.

Share how you feel with your man and ask him if it’s something you should be worried about. He might be able to shed some light on it for you.

14) He’s got a lot going on in his life at the moment

Sometimes he could have a lot going on in his life and he has no time to focus all his attention on you.

He might be working on a big project at work, taking care of a sick family member, or struggling with a personal issue.

If a guy has a lot of things going on in his head, he will probably seem distant and distracted.

Want my unsolicited advice?

If you are in this situation, then just be there as his friend. It’s not going to make him feel guilty if you are understanding and letting him be.

Later on, he will come to see this as positive and be glad that someone was there for him when things were tough.

15) He feels you are not the one

He might have come to the conclusion that you are the right partner for him.

This could be based on the fact that you have different interests, values, and opinions on various areas of life.

If he’s a guy who is focused on his goals, he may not have found in you the qualities of a woman that can help her achieve those goals.

In other words, he thinks you are not compatible with each other.

So, what can you do?

Forcing someone to be with you will never work. You have to be patient and be willing to let go of the relationship if it’s really not going anywhere.

The same thing applies to you, you need to find someone who complements your character and your goals.

This guy might not be that guy so just keep searching.


There are many reasons why a guy can act interested in you one day and not the next.

No matter what the reason, you can try to confront him about it and see if he opens up to you. You can also try to change your approach and see if that makes a difference.

Additionally, if you want a guy to be interested in you, be yourself, be open to him, and let him know you’re interested in him.

I touched on the hero instinct earlier – it’s the perfect remedy for the situation you’re facing. 


Because once a man’s hero instinct is triggered, he’ll only have eyes for you. You’ll reach a part of him that no woman has ever managed to reach before. 

And in return, he’ll be compelled to commit to you and love you like he’s never loved another woman. 

So if you’re ready to take that plunge and reach new heights in your relationship, make sure to check out relationship expert James Bauer’s invaluable advice.

Click here to watch the excellent free video.

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

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I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

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