Why do men want multiple partners? Everything you need to know

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There’s a common cliche out there and unfortunately it’s often true: men who are not satisfied by just one woman and always seem tempted to cheat or date multiple women.

Why is this?

Are all men just horndogs or is there also a deeper aspect?

I’m going to dig into this subject and resolve it once and for all.

Why do men want multiple partners? Everything you need to know

Men are biologically motivated at a primal level to spread their seed and try to reproduce with as many women as possible.

However, they are also biologically motivated to care for offspring and commit to raising children with a woman.

That’s why this subject is actually a bit more complex than common stereotypes might present it.

Here’s the truth about why do men want multiple partners.

1) First, the biology

Men produce about 1,500 sperm per second, amounting to an average of around 20 million sperm a day.

Furthermore, men have historically been the providers and protectors of a tribe, often dying young while hunting or in battle.

Evolutionary scientists believe that this aided in creating a survival trait which spurs men to seek as many mating opportunities as possible.

Technically, the trait is called the Coolidge effect.

As psychology professor David Ludden Ph. D. notes:

“The observation that men desire more sexual partners than women do is known as the ‘Coolidge effect…’

The Coolidge effect has been successfully demonstrated in a wide range of species—at least for males.

However, females tend to show much less interest in multiple mates.

Generally, this is attributed to the fact that a female is limited by pregnancy to the number of offspring she can bear in a given period of time, whereas a male’s reproductive capacity is limited only to the number of mates he can find.”

2) Second, the mentality

Secondly, if we want to know why do men want multiple partners, we need to investigate cultural matters.

In other words, what are the cultural beliefs and enabling factors that potentially encourage men to seek many sex partners?

Western society clearly has a long trend of chauvinistic masculinity in the sense of praising men for “scoring” with many women while generally shaming women who sleep with many partners.

This obvious double standard has drawn the ire or feminists and others, but it’s also worth looking at it dispassionately.

When viewed in this way, it’s clear that the male impulse to sleep around has led to male-dominated societies constructing justifications for their own lack of self-control and desires.

This is clearly not a particularly tenable situation, which is part of why many even traditional societies have tried to regulate the sexual behavior of men as well as women.

3) Some men lack self-discipline

Now one of the top answers about men wanting multiple partners has to tell the harsh truth:

Some men simply lack self-discipline. They are boys in an adult body.

If they feel horny or a craving for “variety” they start trawling online looking for some tail to satisfy their cravings.

Or maybe they call up an escort or look for swingers who are open to a third.

This kind of behavior is impulsive, potentially dangerous, and wildly exciting to a certain type of guy.

For a variety of reasons including how he was raised or absorbing toxic values, he believes that he is entitled to sex when he wants and with who he wants, whether he’s single or not.

Not cool!

4) Sex addiction can be a real thing

Next up, keep in mind that some men are genuinely sex addicts.

This is often treated as a kind of joke or bizarre perverted fetish, but the truth is that actual sex addiction is really sad.

It’s a man who’s so controlled by his sexual appetite that he will actively harm himself and others in order to keep having sex as much as possible or in new and exciting fetishes.

Sex addicts often have very traumatic roots of their condition including childhood abuse.

They generally are seeking relief from painful emotions and feelings of emptiness through sex, resulting in a worsening cycle of dissatisfaction.

If you are a man suffering from sex addiction or in a relationship with one, then it’s necessary to take it very seriously while also not letting it be an excuse for sleeping around.

5) Many men are professional excuse-makers

On a related note to point four, many men are professionals at making excuses.

They may want multiple partners for sexual satisfaction and just for the experience of it, but in many cases they will talk it up into some grand philosophy or credo.

While it’s not always men who want to “open” a relationship, when it is, it will often be for very high-minded reasons.

I’ve heard people go on for hours about the “possessiveness” of monogamy and transitioning into anti-capitalist critiques that they feel are inherently linked to partnership and marriage.

This justifies them sleeping around and thinking monogamy is bad.

OK, sure.

Or maybe a guy could just be honest enough to say he’s really horny and not satisfied sexually by his wife, girlfriend or women he is sleeping with.

6) Boredom in the bedroom

One of the top reasons why do men want multiple partners is due to boredom in the bedroom.

If a man has been with the same woman for a long time, he may be feeling sexually bored by their intimacy.

When this happens, he begins instinctively desiring to make love to other women.

Whether he can control that is up to him.

But the initial cause of feeling unsatisfied by the marital sex is certainly something that should be investigated and remedied.

Often, with clear communication and spicing things up a bit, a couple’s sex life can be brought back from the dead.

So if this is happening, don’t give up.

But keep in mind that using boredom in the bedroom as an excuse for cheating is really not something that any partner needs to accept.

7) He’s trying to substitute sex for love

Men have feelings too, as much as the media may spread the idea that men are all just the same and so on.

The truth is that even some promiscuous men are chasing sex because they have been disappointed in love.

Frankly speaking, they’ve given up on love so now they’re trying to chase what’s between a woman’s legs as their personal idol.

It never works, but it can be a very addictive path to go down.

No matter if a guy justifies this on the biological aspects I mentioned earlier or as his own life path, the truth is that there’s generally some trauma or emotional dissatisfaction at the core of this kind of obsession with multiple partners.

Becoming his one and only

By now you should have a better idea of why men often seem to want multiple partners.

It’s not just physical, it’s also that they may feel a lack of true commitment and love for a woman and try to use sex to self-medicate that.

If you’d like to change that in your man, you have to make him see you as the only woman for him. Also, you must make him feel truly needed and irreplaceable in your relationship.

At least that’s what I learned from James Bauer, a relationship expert who discovered the Hero Instinct. According to him, if you appeal to a man’s primal instincts, he will feel compelled to commit to you. He won’t need multiple partners anymore. 

And since this free video reveals exactly how to trigger your man’s hero instinct, you could make this change as early as today.

But does it really work?

After watching his video, I can honestly tell you that his techniques would work for me. I’d definitely get involved in a monogamous relationship with a woman who understands my needs like that.

Here’s a link to his excellent free video again.

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

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