11 reasons you should stop caring what your boyfriend thinks of you

We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. Read our affiliate disclosure.

When it comes to relationships, there aren’t many things as important as the opinions of your significant other. A partner is supposed to make you feel amazing, confident, and loved. 

But wait a minute. What if you’re constantly being put down or criticized? What if he never compliments you? What if he’s judgmental and doesn’t approve of your decisions?

One thing’s for sure – men often think women care too much about what other people think of them. But the truth is, you shouldn’t care what he thinks of you.

Here are 11 reasons why.

1) It’s not their place to judge you

Can you imagine being free of judgment in your own life? 

You wouldn’t care what people thought of you, your decisions, or how you dressed. You’d feel comfortable in your own skin and would be able to express yourself freely. This kind of life is free from restrictive judgments as well as free from too much stress!

This is the beauty of women: we have a mind of our own and we don’t need anyone’s approval to feel good about ourselves. 

But let them guess what you usually do instead: you care too much. As a result, you’re constantly putting yourself down or worrying about what others think of you.

For instance, you might be thinking: “He doesn’t like me.” He thinks I’m weird. I can’t believe he’s always criticizing me. ”

But what if you don’t think that? What if he doesn’t even know that you’re thinking about it? If he cares about you, why would he do something like that?

Remember: men aren’t here to judge you. They’re here to love and support you, not make your life miserable. So if someone gives you negative feedback, don’t take it personally.

2) It makes you feel insecure and anxious

You can’t help it when you’re insecure. You care too much about what people think of you, and that’s a fact.

I bet this sounds familiar.

But the truth is, when you care this much about what other people think of you, it’s impossible to feel secure in your own skin. Why?

Because you’re always going to feel like there’s something wrong with your appearance or some other aspect of your personality that needs improvement. And that insecurity is going to make you stressed out and miserable!

When you obsess over what others think of you, it’s as if they’re judging you. 

It’s like being in high school all over again, only this time, the whole world is your teacher. And they’re giving you a bad grade. 

It gets worse when people around you start to judge you even more harshly, too. For example: “How can she be so confident about her looks? She should stop wearing those ugly glasses.” Or: “She has such an annoying laugh.” 

When this happens, you’re going to feel insecure and anxious. You’ll start to doubt yourself and feel like you don’t know anything.

And that’s when the anxiety starts to take over: “She thinks I’m a loser. I can’t believe she finds me so unattractive. ” “I must not be any good at being single.” “I’m such a loser for getting dumped by my boyfriend.”

It’s an awful feeling, but it’s completely normal. It’s what anxiety is all about. So if you’re going through a lot of self-doubt, that’s probably why. But there’s no need to worry about it. It will pass! 

3) You’ll never be able to make decisions on your own

Think about it for a moment. When was the last time you did something on your own?

A while ago? Before you started dating him? Or maybe you don’t even remember.

Deep down, you know it’s true. You can’t make decisions without his consent.

This is what it’s like when you’re in a relationship. You feel like you have to ask for his permission to do anything. And that’s not just a bad habit, it’s also completely unnecessary!

You should be able to make your own decisions, without having to ask him if he agrees with you.

And that’s not the only problem. When you’re in a relationship, you’ll also be afraid of making decisions on your own because you’re afraid of what he might say. 

You can’t imagine him being angry at you or getting upset with you at all. So it’s best to always check his mood before making any kind of decision!

4) His opinions aren’t going to change anything anyway

I bet that you know what it’s like to try and persuade your boyfriend to do something he doesn’t want to do.

You try and convince him by telling him how much you love his new haircut or how great the movie was. And he just sits there, looking bored! He doesn’t care about your opinion at all!

Does this sound like you?

It’s frustrating, isn’t it? You want him to change his mind, but he just won’t budge. He doesn’t care about what you think. And that’s not fair!

But it’s true. He won’t change his mind just because you want him to. If you want something different than what he wants, you might have to make a decision on your own. 

In fact, this is why most people in relationships don’t change their minds. They don’t care what you think of them, so they’re not going to change their mind just because you tell them they should. 

And when this happens, it creates a lot of frustration in relationships. It’s as if they’re trying to hide their true feelings from you, but they can’t!

5) You should be happy with yourself

Let’s be honest. Do you feel happy on your own?

Now consider it this way: shouldn’t you be happy on your own?

The truth is, yeah, you should. But you aren’t, right?

When you’re in a relationship, it’s easy to get stuck in the past and think about all the things you used to do without your boyfriend.

You remember all those great times when you did everything on your own!

And when you’re alone, it’s easy to compare yourself to all of the other girls who have their own boyfriends and are happier than you are. You feel like you’re missing out on something, but there’s really nothing wrong with not having a boyfriend!

You need to realize that being single is perfectly fine! It doesn’t make you any less of a person. In fact, it’s good for you to be alone sometimes. It helps you focus on yourself and your own needs.

6) Overthinking about his opinions isn’t healthy

We’ve already talked about how you should stop worrying about his opinion. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t think about it.

The problem is, if you’re obsessing over it, then you’re going to be disappointed when he doesn’t change his mind. You’ll be upset with yourself because you thought he’d agree with your opinion and he didn’t.

The good news is that it’s okay to think about his opinion, but make sure that you don’t let your thoughts control your emotions! If he’s not going to change his mind anyway, then why should you feel bad?  

Do you know what a healthy relationship is at all?

Let me explain.

A healthy relationship is one where you’re both happy with your decisions.

And when you’re in a relationship, you’re going to have to make a lot of decisions. You might think that you don’t have a choice in the matter, but that’s not true. You always have a choice!

And if he’s trying to change you or make you feel bad about yourself all the time, that’s not a healthy relationship at all.

Next time you feel like he doesn’t agree with your opinion, try to remember what I said about healthy relationships. If his opinion doesn’t change anyway, then why should it bother you? It’s not like he changed his mind because of what you said!

7) You can be happy without his approval

I know this is going to sound a little weird, but it’s true.

When you’re in a relationship, you’re always trying to please him. You want him to like you and approve of you so that he will be happy with your decisions.

But guess what? He doesn’t need your approval because he already loves you. He already approves of you! You don’t need his approval to be happy and successful in life, but if he’s going to make all of your decisions for you, then that’s not healthy at all!  

If he wants to make all of your decisions for you, then why would he want a relationship with YOU? It seems really weird that he would want to be in a relationship with you when he’s not even in control of your life. He’s going to be the one doing all of the work and making all of the decisions.

When you’re in a healthy relationship, you take charge of your own life and don’t let him control it. You’re happy because you know that he loves you, approves of you, and wants to be with you!  

The truth: you don’t need his approval to be happy and successful. In fact, if he’s trying to change your opinion or make you feel bad about yourself all the time, then he probably doesn’t approve of how awesome and successful YOU are! That’s why you should start loving yourself right now!

8) It will slow down your personal growth

This is one of the most common reasons for getting into a relationship with someone. People are afraid that if they don’t have someone to share their life with, then they won’t grow and learn as much as they would have if they had a partner.

But this is not true at all! You can still make personal growth even when you’re not in a relationship.

And on the contrary, thinking about his opinions about your actions only makes you stop and think about them. That’s going to slow your personal growth down even more.

Frankly, you can still grow and learn too. You don’t need to be in a relationship with someone to do this.

9) It will keep you from meeting new people

Ever wondered why you find it hard to meet new people?

Well, this is because you’re constantly trying to make him happy. You’re always trying to show him that you are a good person and that you care about him. You’re always trying to impress him and make sure that he likes you.

And this can be really hard to do when you don’t have someone else to impress or someone else to care about!

So why not meet new people instead of focusing on your relationship with someone? Sure, he might be a little upset when you go out with other guys, but it’s better for both of your lives if he just lets it go. If he wants a relationship with you, then let yourself have a relationship with other people too!  

10) You don’t want to be dependent on him

Do you know what I noticed a while ago?

When people get into a relationship, they start to rely on their partner for everything. They start to depend on him for everything, from fixing the car to making dinner.

Strictly speaking, this is a huge mistake. If you think about it, it’s really hard to be in a relationship with someone without relying on them.

Think about it: if you need something from your partner, then you can’t just go out and buy it yourself! You have to wait until your partner gets around to doing that for you! And this doesn’t just stop at buying things for him or her. It also goes further than that.

As a result, you have to depend on your partner for absolutely everything. You have to always ask them what they want to eat or what they want to do. You have to ask them where they want to go and what they want to do there. And if you don’t get it right, then you’ll have an argument with them and that will upset you!

This is why relationships are so hard when people get into them and why it’s so important not to get into one in the first place!

11) You should avoid being a “people pleaser”

Have you ever felt like you had to do something for someone else just to keep the peace?

If so, then you know what I’m talking about. You have to do things for people all the time, even if they don’t want you to do them or even if they’re not really that important.

I know. You might feel like doing it is your choice, but it’s not. You’re just doing it because you want to keep the peace and avoid an argument with them.

But the truth is, this is probably the most common mistake that people make in relationships. They’re so used to pleasing other people that they forget to please themselves.

People pleasers are too afraid of upsetting their partner if they don’t do something nice for them. That’s why they always do things for their partner, even if it means disappointing themselves!

But you have to remember that pleasing your partner isn’t the most important thing in a relationship! If you want to be happy, then don’t worry about pleasing your partner all the time! Think about yourself and what makes you happy!

What next?

So what does all this mean?

We spend a lot of time worrying about what our partner thinks of us.

We fret over things like whether or not they like our job, are attracted to us, or think we dress well enough. All too often, we put our happiness on the line by trying to get their approval.

But you should stop caring what your boyfriend thinks of you. Even if he tells you that he doesn’t care and that it doesn’t bother him, don’t believe him!

Because guess what?

There are always going to be people in your life who don’t approve of what you’re doing- even if it’s your beloved boyfriend.

So, remember to be happy with yourself, no matter what anyone else says or thinks. If he can’t accept that, then he’s someone you don’t need in your life anyway!

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

Click here to get started.

The above link will give you $50 off your first session - an exclusive offer for Love Connection readers.