Why do guys keep going back to the same girl? The brutal truth

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The dating world can be a minefield for men. And for some reasons, some men tend to keep going back to the same girl. 

Why is this? 

Even if they’ve been told it’s a bad idea, they still tend to be pulled back time and time again.

Let’s go into detail about the 15 reasons why a guy would go back again and again to the same girl.

1) She makes him feel good

The first thing to know about a guy who keeps going back to the same girl is that she makes him feel good about himself. 

Whether it’s a lack of confidence, or something else, she’s the kind of girl that always makes him feel better. 

She doesn’t judge him; there’s something about her which draws him in, and he just can’t stay away from her.

Truth be told, some guys go back because they feel safe around her. They know she understands them and she’s honest with them about things that are bothering or upsetting. 

Even if their relationship has somehow ended or it’s on the rocks, which it likely has at this point, he still wants to go back because she demystified him.

She’s like his family – safe, comfortable and familiar.

2) She’s the first girl who has shown any interest in him

Guys can sometimes feel desperate and think that if they don’t try again with this girl, they may never find a girlfriend again. 

The thing is, some guys may feel like they need a girlfriend to be happy or content with their life. 

Alternatively, some guys may feel like it’s important for their self-esteem or self-worth that they have a long-term relationship with someone. 

If she’s the first girl who has ever shown any interest in this guy, he’ll keep going back as he doesn’t think he can do better than her. 

He’s worried that if he doesn’t try again, then no one else will want him either. He wants to keep trying because maybe this time it’ll work out. 

3) She’s the only girl he’s ever actually been interested in.

Some men can be really picky, and among the girls he had met or been with, she’s the only girl he’s ever been attracted to, so he’ll sometimes keep going back to her because he doesn’t want to miss out on any other opportunities or experiences with her. 

That being said, there are probably a few other girls who have also caught his eye, but there’s just something about this girl that he can’t just let go of. 

They may have broken up because of the issues they had encountered while in the relationship, but this guy just thinks that this girl is incomparable to the others.

There’s just something about her that he couldn’t see in other women, that’s why at the end of the day, he’ll always come back to her.

4) She brings out the hero in him

There’s something about this girl that makes him feel like a man, makes him feel good about himself, and boosts his confidence. 

He may be down on himself because he’s not making the most of his life or because other girls have rejected him. 

Because he knows this girl is a wonderful person, he’ll feel special when she’s around.

There’s a new theory in the relationship world that’s causing quite a stir – it’s called the hero instinct

Coined by relationship expert James Bauer, this fascinating concept finally explains how men really think and feel in relationships. 

And it’s something most women have never even heard of. 

According to James Bauer, men don’t actually need a lot to feel content in their relationships. In fact, what they need has nothing to do with sex. 

Men have certain innate drivers. And when a woman comes along and triggers them, it causes a powerful response. The result is a man who loves harder, commits wholeheartedly, and truly dedicates himself to the relationship. 

So, how can one trigger a man’s hero instinct? 

The easiest thing to do is to watch this simple and genuine video by James Bauer. 

The truth is, once they understand how the hero instinct works, there’s no telling what heights their relationship can reach. 

So here’s something for you: if you want to give your man what he truly wants from you, make sure to check out James Bauer’s excellent video. In it, he reveals the exact texts and phrases you can use straight away.

Here’s a link to the free video again.

5) He wants to make her happy again

This guy may have done a mistake that hurt her feelings, so here he is, wanting to come back to her and hope that he’ll be able to make her happy again. 

He thinks if he can work things out with her, then maybe she’ll be able to give him another chance. 

She may have told him that she wants to end things between them for good, but he’s still unable to let go of her.

There is something about this girl which makes him want to make her happy all over again, which he can do by continuing to be with her. 

This brings out the protective side from within himself once more. He wants to make sure that she’s happy and that she stays happy. 

If he’s the one who brings out this side of her, then he really cares about her because she feels so special to him.

6) He thinks she’s his soulmate

Some guys can really be sensitive when it comes to their feelings. 

If a guy is especially sensitive, he may reason that once he’s met the right girl, there will never be anyone else for him. 

The idea of her being the right one for him is what makes this guy think that she’s his soulmate. 

He believes that she’ll understand him more than anyone else and that they’re good together; they’re meant to be together. 

This can be a very powerful motivator for some men and it may even drive them crazy! They’ll keep going back again and again to the same girl because they believe she’s their soulmate.

7) He’s afraid of being alone again

When a guy is with the same girl, or even thinking about getting back together with her, he knows that he can have it all. 

If there’s no guarantee in their relationship anymore, he knows that his life would become boring and lonely again without this girl in it. He realizes that he was happier with her than without. 

On some level, this makes him euphoric, and gives him a sense of comfort and confidence that he never had before. 

He’s afraid of going back to the same place he was before he met her. He feels as though his life would be empty without her in it. 

8) He’s obsessed with her

Here’s a brutal truth: if a guy is obsessed with a girl, he’s going to do everything in his power to get her back. He will say and do anything to win her over. And once he thinks that he’s won her around, well then it’s full steam ahead.

But if a guy is obsessed with a girl, you can expect him to be off the scale needy and clingy when they’re together. He’ll need to be the best or nothing.

This obsession may seem ok at first, but the longer you go without them, the more you’ll just want to shake him by the shoulders and scream at him for being so annoying!

This kind of guy will be so desperate to keep winning her back. 

A reason for this kind of obsession is perhaps this guy is insecure – if someone has no confidence in themselves, they’ll need to go around and control someone else’s life.

9) He’s afraid to try with anyone else

Sometimes it can be hard to find a new relationship, and giving up hope of rekindling the old one seems like a cold and lonely place to be. 

If he’s started seeing someone else, but is still having feelings for the first girl, it’s possible that he might want to keep her around just in case. 

It’s like he’s treating her as his backup plan. He wants an option just in case it doesn’t work out with his current partner. 

It’s also possible that she’s already seeing someone else in her life, but he still doesn’t seem to be able to let go of her. 

She may already have told him that she wants to be with this second guy, but he’s still hopeful that one day she’ll end up coming back around to him.

10) She’s his best friend and he can’t bear the thought of losing her

We all would like to have that one person who just gets us, right?

In some cases, this girl has been around for a long time and she’s become such a good friend to him. Without her, then there would be no one else who knows him as well as she does. 

He doesn’t have any friends who know about him as well as she does. In fact, he might even believe that no one knows him like she does (which is why he feels so comfortable around her). 

If there is anyone in the world who understands where he comes from, it’s because of her. He doesn’t have anybody else in the world like that. He doesn’t want to lose her, so he’ll do anything and everything to keep her around.

11) He wants to help her and make her happy

Every guy out there wants to help a girl be happy. Many women sometimes have bad experiences with men in their life, and they’re just trying to find someone who will treat them right. 

In some cases, a guy may see that this girl needs someone who cares enough to help her overcome something or someone which is holding her back from being truly happy.

I mentioned this fascinating concept earlier: the hero instinct. When a man’s inner hero is triggered, he’s more likely to choose to be with her over and over again.

Just by knowing the right things to say to him, she’ll open a part of him that no woman has ever reached before.

And the best way to do so is by watching this free video by James Bauer. In it, he’ll reveal simple phrases and texts she can use to make her man truly hers. 

Here’s a link to the excellent video again.

12) She’s great in bed

This might be an obvious one, but if a guy is after sex, his intimate times with her were fantastic which he didn’t experience in his previous relationships.

He’ll simply want to keep the good times coming, and he won’t want to give it up for anyone else. 

He doesn’t really need to be in love with her at the moment, he just believes that their sexual chemistry together is too good to be put aside. 

She may be amazing in bed, but that doesn’t mean everything is going to work out between the two of them.

13) She has been his support after all this time

There can be so many different things which cause a guy to have residual feelings for this girl, but this one is particularly interesting.

It’s always easier if he can just get back together with his old girlfriend and have the best sex of his life whenever he wants. It makes him feel confident that he can have this every time, and that he’s in control. 

There’s a lot of complexity to guys that people don’t see. 

There are so many hidden aspects of his life, and you can bet your money on the fact that if he’s still stuck in this relationship after a break up, there will be something holding him there. 

It might also be because she’s great for when he needs someone to talk to about his problems at work. He knows that there will always be someone on his side if things go wrong in the workplace.

14) She’s great for his ego

If a guy has become insecure because of something that happened in the past (or him just being an insecure person in general), a relationship with this girl can give him that feeling of being important and wanted again. 

It gives him the opportunity to feel like a man, and to realize that he can be with someone he likes – it makes him feel very special when he’s around her. 

He feels like everybody wants to be like him, but no one can actually have her. It makes him feel like he’s got something that other guys don’t have. 

It’s just the best feeling in the world. 

He feels that she is his, and he wants to keep her around forever. He doesn’t want her to go anywhere or meet someone better because of him. He doesn’t want to lose this girl and he won’t settle for anything less than what she has to offer him. 

When a guy is with someone who means a lot to him, his ego can put him right back into the relationship. 

And you don’t want your man getting an ego boost from you, why? Well, because you’re supposed to be the one who enhances his ego, not the other way around.

15) He just wants to see how long he can go without a relationship

This is a situation which often happens to guys who feel like they’re too good for any woman they may meet. 

So they play games with women, and they don’t take them seriously at all. 

He knows that he doesn’t need anyone else in his life, because he has everything that he needs there with him. 

But the problem comes if any woman meets a guy who is the same as this guy. She will want to close down all of the opportunities that she can find, since she might want to be the last woman in his life and she thinks that her chances are small. 

If a girl has a lot of love for this guy, then there would be no problem at all.

It’s perfectly fine for her to continue hanging around him until he is ready to commit. 

If you can relate, just make sure that you don’t grow too attached because there might come a time when he isn’t exactly happy with you anymore. 

And at that time, you’ll have no choice but to let go completely.

Final thoughts

Understanding a man’s thinking isn’t easy, he might keep on coming back to a woman who’s bad for her, or equally good for her. 

But in the end, it’s your job to make sure that you know what you’re getting yourself into.

If this guy is trying to move on from his old girlfriend, but he’s still unsure of himself and what he wants – don’t hold him back. 

Let him figure out what he wants and what he needs, because that’s not something a woman is able to do for him.

I touched on the hero instinct earlier – it’s the perfect remedy for the situation you’re facing. 


Because once a man’s hero instinct is triggered, he’ll only have eyes for you. You’ll reach a part of him that no woman has ever managed to reach before. 

And in return, he’ll be compelled to commit to you and love you like he’s never loved another woman. 

So if you’re ready to take that plunge and reach new heights in your relationship, make sure to check out relationship expert James Bauer’s invaluable advice.

Click here to watch the excellent free video.


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