Why do guys flirt when they are not interested? (17 reasons why)

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Have you ever spent the evening flirting with a wonderful guy who seemed to be really into you, only to have him leave at the end of the evening without asking for your number?

Are you wondering why a guy would flirt with a girl he’s not interested in dating?

There are many reasons that guys flirt with girls that they don’t want to go out with, from flirting to boost their egos to flirting to make another girl jealous.

Here are 17 reasons guys flirt with women they are not interested in.

1) Are you sure he’s flirting?

Sometimes a girl can misunderstand the signals she’s getting from a guy.

If a guy is funny, friendly, and charming, you might think that he is flirting with you and start to flirt back. You may feel an instant connection to him and get disappointed when the flirting leads nowhere.

You’ll ask yourself, why did he flirt when he didn’t want to ask you out?

It turns out that he actually likes you but not romantically. He’s not interested in pursuing anything more than a platonic friendship.

Sometimes being friendly is just that, being friendly.

2) He’s clueless

They say that “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus”.

Some guys are clueless.

On the one hand:

A guy might not recognize when he’s flirting.

Some guys don’t realize that they’re flirting until it’s too late and they’re already in a relationship with someone they weren’t really interested in.

Although there are some instances where a man will be upfront about his intentions, most of the time men are unaware of what they’re doing.

On the other hand:

A guy might not recognize that you’re flirting with him.

He could be enjoying your company but not be picking up on your flirting.

He might actually be really into you but because he doesn’t realize you like him too, miss out on a great opportunity.

3) He likes the attention

Flirting can be incredibly fun!

What’s better than meeting someone new, turning on the charm, making a connection, and chatting with them throughout the evening?

Flirting is pleasurable – that much we know.

But did you know that some people can get addicted to the feeling of euphoria they experience when flirting with others?

It’s true, many guys will flirt because they enjoy the attention that comes with it. They like how women respond to them and the feeling of being desired by lots of people.

This means that rather than actually wanting a connection, they simply want to flirt.

If you’re looking for more than just a flirtation, then he’s not the guy for you.

4) He does like you but isn’t interested in dating you

Have you ever met a guy that flirted with you and was obviously into you but didn’t want to date you?

There are many reasons for his behavior.

  • Maybe he’s already (possibly secretly) in a relationship. If you met on a dating app, this is quite possible. It turns out that a lot of people on dating apps are married or in a relationship!
  • Maybe he’s single and felt attracted to you but he has trouble being in an actual relationship. He could have trust or commitment issues.
  • Lastly, maybe he’s looking for a one-night stand and not a relationship, but he realized you wanted more and decided to look elsewhere.

5) He can’t help himself

To some guys, flirting is second nature. They may not be looking to hook up with someone, they may not be interested in the woman in question at all, but they just can’t help themselves.

Remember Barney in “How I Met Your Mother”? He’s the perfect example of a flirt. He flirts with every woman he comes across just because it’s what he does.

6) They want to be accepted by women

Have you ever met a guy who is really good-looking and charming? He may strike up a conversation with you or even ask for your number. But before you can respond, he turns around and walks away.

What just happened? Why would he do that?

A lot of guys flirt with women they aren’t interested in because they want to be accepted by women.

If a guy doesn’t feel like he gets the attention of the woman he wants, then flirting with someone else can make him feel better.

7) They are lonely and desperate for companionship

When a guy is feeling lonely and desperate for companionship, he might be tempted to flirt with anyone that crosses his path.

Unfortunately, this often leads to unwanted and inappropriate interactions with women.

If you’re not completely sure what constitutes appropriate flirting behavior, it’s important to know what your boundaries are when it comes to this topic.

If you feel like someone is crossing those boundaries, be sure to tell them politely that the interaction isn’t welcome. This will give them a chance to change their behavior or walk away from the situation without causing any further damage.

8) They want to feel good about themselves

Some men like to flirt for a variety of reasons, including self-esteem and validation.

In order to feel good about themselves, some guys will try flirting with as many women as possible in hopes to see how many women like them. The more telephone numbers they get, and the more dates they go out on, the “greater” they are.

Simply put, they aren’t looking for anything other than to feed their egos.

9) They’re practicing

Men will sometimes flirt with women they are not interested in to practice their skills.

It is a common tactic used by men because they want to learn how it feels to flirt and to get better at the process of seduction without actually risking rejection by someone they’re actually attracted to.

It’s true.

The guy will see what works and what doesn’t, and when he is ready, he will be able to flirt with the women he really does find attractive and not feel nervous or anxious.

Unfortunately, he isn’t taking into account the negative effect this could have on the women he uses as “guinea pigs”.

Women who have been used as practice for the guy’s flirting skills often find themselves feeling emotionally violated and degraded. They may feel like they’ve become a “practice dummy” or that their feelings were not taken into account, which can make them less likely to trust men in the future.

In addition, these women are more likely to develop negative attitudes towards dating because of how they felt during this experience.

10) To make some other girl jealous

Sometimes a guy will flirt with a girl he’s not really into because he wants to make the girl he actually likes jealous.

This is called “playing hard-to-get.” It can be very effective in making someone feel wanted, so it has become quite popular as an approach for men who are struggling to get their feelings across.

For example, the guy could decide to ignore the girl he likes and flirt with her friend. By doing this he hopes to get her attention and make her jealous.

Although this tactic could work, it’s unfair because flirting with someone that you’re not genuinely interested in could end up hurting them.

11) He’s helping a friend out

Have you ever flirted with a guy only to have them ask you whether you would go out with their friend?

That’s right, some guys are too shy to ask a girl out themselves – so they’ll get a friend to do it for them.

This can be a strange situation because maybe you were starting to like the friend.           

Maybe you’re wondering why he didn’t ask you out himself, he’s a grown-up after all.

On the one hand, maybe you should give him the benefit of the doubt. Go out on one date and find out what he’s like. He could be great once you get to know him.

On the other hand, if he brings his friend on the date, RUN!

12) Some guys flirt to be polite

For the most part, men are pretty straightforward. They aren’t shy about asking you out on a date, and they may be blunt with their words. But there’s one thing that can throw them for a loop: if you flirt with them first!

Some guys will start to flirt back in order to remain polite or because they’re feeling awkward.

So if you initiate the flirting, it’s possible that the guy will only flirt back to be nice and not because he’s really into you.

13) To some guys flirting is just a game

One of the main reasons why guys flirt with girls they aren’t interested in is because flirting is a game to them. It’s fun and can be a great way to get attention and validation from strangers.

Some guys may even compete amongst themselves to see who gets the most phone numbers in one evening.

So if a guy seemed really into you but now he’s not calling you, it’s quite possible that he was just having some fun and had no intention of actually calling you or taking things any further.

Don’t take it personally, you’re certainly not the only one he’s done this to.

14) You’re giving him mixed signals

Did you meet a great guy, have a fun evening flirting, only to have things end there?

He didn’t even ask for your phone number.

You’re wondering why he wasted a whole evening flirting with you if he wasn’t going to ask you out.

What’s going on? Did you do something wrong?

Here’s the deal, maybe he wanted to ask you out but he kept getting mixed signals from you.

This is why it’s important to be more clear with your intentions when you’re talking to someone new.

If you give the wrong signals, the person could assume that you just want a friend and not a romantic partner. If they don’t see your intentions as romantic, they’ll likely lose interest in pursuing a relationship with you.

15) He got into a fight with his girlfriend

Sometimes a guy will flirt with you to get back at his girlfriend.

If he is going through a rough patch in his relationship, he might try to flirt with other women to get back at his girlfriend. However, while this might seem like a harmless flirty game, he could end up hurting both you and his girlfriend.

It’s never good to find yourself in the middle of a couple’s fight.

16) To boost his self-esteem

So, a guy will flirt with a woman to boost his self-esteem. They don’t necessarily want to be in a relationship, but they feel as if it is the only way for them to feel good about themselves.

You see, when you flirt with someone, your brain releases dopamine and oxytocin, which help to lift your mood and give you that feeling of happiness and well-being.

What’s more, flirting with somebody might improve your level of confidence as well as decrease anxiety and stress. This would then lead to giving off a more positive impression on others.

Flirting is also an effective tool in forming positive relationships with other people.

17) He’s bored and wants company

I’m going to be honest. Sometimes a guy will flirt with a girl just because he’s bored and wants company.

Have you ever been in a situation with a guy, and he just wouldn’t stop flirting?

You might have thought that guy was trying to be nice or even romantic, but it’s really just because he’s bored.

Guys will often use flirting as an easy way to break the ice and try to find someone interesting.

What is the purpose of flirting?

Flirting has many purposes, and the most important is to establish a connection.

Flirting can also be used to make someone feel good about themselves and give them a sense of accomplishment. It’s also an effective form of communication that can help you get to know each other better.

Men usually flirt with women they find attractive because they want to see if they’re interested in them.

If a woman doesn’t seem interested, the guy will either stop flirting or move on without pursuing anything further with her.

Why do men flirt with women even if they have a girlfriend

Have you ever asked yourself why guys who have girlfriends flirt with other women?

There are many reasons for this kind of behavior.

For example, men might flirt with other women because they feel insecure about their masculinity and they just want to be noticed.

They want to prove to themselves that they still have what it takes to attract women. This can be a harmless way of getting attention and admiration from the opposite sex.

Another reason that men who are in a relationship flirt with other women is because they are bored and want to have some harmless fun.

Some men don’t get enough attention from their partners and so they flirt with other women because they want to be loved. They’re looking to connect with someone. They want to be seen by someone.

Some men flirt because they are not ready to commit to one woman. They don’t want to be tied down. They may flirt with other women because they are looking for a reason to break up.

Finally, in some other cases, men flirt with other women because they have no problem with having an affair and are trying to lure a woman into bed.

Do you know when to say no? How to recognize when the flirting is getting out of hand

When you’re single, dating and flirting can be very enjoyable and can certainly help you to meet someone special.

But if you ever find yourself in a situation where the other person is being overly assertive or aggressive, it might be time to step back.

Flirting can get out of hand and become harassment when the person is trying to intimidate or control you.

Although it’s uncomfortable, remember to be strong and say no.

What is harassment?

Harassment is any unwanted and unacceptable behavior by someone who is in a position to make decisions or take actions that limit your choices, opportunities, or freedom to participate in life as you see fit.

Harassment can include verbal abuse like name-calling, insults, taunts, threats, and yelling. It can also include stalking (repeatedly following someone without their consent) and sexual harassment (unwanted sexual advances).

It’s important to remember that even if the person you’re flirting with seems like they’re just being friendly and really enjoying themselves, you should never feel pressured into anything.

 If it feels uncomfortable, stop talking to them or ask for help from people around you.

You deserve to be treated with respect!

How to recognize when the flirting is getting out of hand

The best way to recognize when the flirting is getting out of hand is to think about your boundaries. It’s important to set things on a clear level so you know what is and isn’t appropriate from the beginning.

If you want to take it slow, let them know. Remember that the person you’re talking with might be nervous too and not understand that you don’t want things to progress too quickly. Be clear.

It is best to say no when someone is making you feel uncomfortable, intimidated, or controlled.

Be firm in your decision and follow through if necessary. You deserve respect and safety in a relationship so don’t ever settle for less than that.

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

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