17 reasons why he broke up with you unexpectedly

We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. Read our affiliate disclosure.

 

There’s a difference between getting dumped and having your world shattered in the course of one phone call. If a guy tells you that he doesn’t want to be with you anymore, it can feel like the end of the world, as if someone has cruelly pulled out your very foundations. 

Here are 17 reasons why he might have broken up with you unexpectedly — maybe that will give you some closure and some peace.

1) Your relationship was too serious too soon

If your significant other was afraid that the relationship was moving too fast, he might just have had enough and decided to go back on his word and leave without doing anything worse than a one-sided weekend trip back home.

Because we have no control over falling in love,we do have control over whom we fall in love with. 

Maybe he was the first guy you ever let sleepover or vice versa. 

Now hang on, there are some questions you ask yourself:

Why did he break up with you?

Did he say you were too serious too soon?

Do you think maybe things moved a little fast between the two of you and that somehow led to the breakup

If so, perhaps he genuinely cared about you and was worried about your feelings being hurt if and when things got more serious.

“There’s no perfect time to get in a relationship. You’re going through an emotional roller coaster of highs, lows and everything in between when you start dating.” – Stephany Harris, relationship therapist.

You moved way too fast and made your relationship a priority before you should have. He either got scared or felt suffocated. 

Furthermore, he has gotten the feeling that you were pushing for more than he could give, or that you thought marriage was a foregone conclusion. 

Either way, he might have realized that you two were moving faster than he was ready for.

After all, you need to learn to take things slower. 

2) You guys weren’t compatible

You guys may have had different core values, different hobbies, and interests, a different view of the world, or a difference in your personal aspirations. 

When you had different tastes and ideas about where your relationship was headed. It might have just been a matter of compatibility — you were better together, but he wasn’t what you needed at that point.

Sure, the initial spark of attraction and chemistry was undeniable, but there’s a good chance you guys weren’t wired for each other. 

You don’t have to be ideal together in every single way to make a relationship work. But maybe you wanted a partner who was more down-to-earth, more adventurous, and less complicated?

Maybe you wanted someone who was more into science fiction than fantasy? 

Or he was outgoing while you’re an introvert. He likes to stay home while you like to go out and party a lot with your friends all the time. He loves dogs but you love cats, etc…

Well that person isn’t your guy! 

Whether you realize it or not, if you’re in a relationship with someone who’s not compatible with you and vice versa, there’s going to be trouble. He will also notice it soon and end it abruptly before you get hurt by his decision.

Just because he is your boyfriend and you love him now doesn’t mean that you will always be compatible together. People change and if you guys don’t change together, it is best to part ways before things get worse.

3) You had issues with trust or insecurity

Do you feel there’s a trust or insecurity issue between the two of you? 

Maybe you’ve been hurt or betrayed by someone before, chances are it will affect your relationship if things end up going south again. 

Maybe you were too into your own heads and both of you let that get in the way of seeing what each other really wanted. Or maybe you started having doubts about him, which led to a lot of bruised confidence on both sides.

When you constantly doubt your partner, things get ugly fast. Perhaps you should have talked about this with your boyfriend instead of making assumptions about his feelings for you.

As a result, it’s possible that he could have broken up with you because he didn’t want to be hurt again.

Since you will not be comfortable being intimate with your partner, or if you weren’t comfortable being yourself around him because you had issues with trust or insecurity, your relationship was doomed to fail.

Let’s not forget!

Relationships can never last long if you do not trust your partner or if you doubt his loyalty. If he is so possessive that he does not trust you to be with anyone else, he will be less likely to commit. 

Even if he claims to be with you forever, do not get too comfortable because his insecurities might get the better of him in the end.

And one thing we all know is that relationships are all about communication. If there are problems in your relationship, it’s not going to work out unless those problems are addressed.

4) He lost interest in you for no apparent reason

It’s normal for relationships to go through ups and downs. There might have been a time when being with you electrified the hearts, but after some years of being together, that feeling died down.

But if a guy suddenly loses interest in you for no reason and doesn’t give any explanation. You can refer to some reasons:

  • Maybe he became fascinated by someone else, or maybe this was something that happened slowly over time and neither of you noticed anything amiss until it was too late to make a difference.
  • Sometimes guys just get bored and want a fresh start. Somehow I think he just got bored of the relationship.

At first, your relationship was exciting and fresh — filled with ideas, new people, and places to discover together — but after a while, the excitement has worn off and your relationship has become stale. 

Boredom can be one of the most compelling reasons why guys break up with girls. This one’s hard to believe, but it does happen all the time. 

5) You guys grew apart geographically or geographically-wise

It’s all about the distance when it comes to relationships. 

If you guys met in a certain place, moved to another place, and then he broke up with you not too long after that, perhaps he realized that you two were growing apart geographically or geographically wise. 

Perhaps your relationship was only meant to last for a certain period of time.

Or maybe he got the feeling that you were disappearing too quickly and that you were getting annoyed by him, which led to a lot of problems between you. 

Maybe distance caused problems. Distance is a factor in many failed relationships.

Why is this so?

Distance makes the heart grow fonder. If your relationship is based in a busy place or you literally move far away from him, he will not be as excited about being with you and might find another girl who is closer to home.

6) He was suffering from a mid-life crisis

If he is only in his twenties, he is more likely to be dating you to meet new people or get some fresh air amongst the crowd. If he is in his 30s or 40s, it might be because of stress from work, family problems, or other such matters. 

Many men go through midlife crises, but there are just some men who are not able to get past them. If he was suffering from a mid-life crisis, that’s a huge problem.

This would be a guy who’d rather spend countless hours on the computer than doing things that are fun, like going out with his friends or doing things he enjoys whether that’s traveling or taking up a hobby. 

Or he might have been in the midst of a phase that involved self-discovery and finding himself, only he lost his way. 

Or some guys are very volatile when it comes to their emotions and can go from one extreme to another with little warning.

For instance, someone who suddenly felt a need to go out, play more social games, start a new hobby, or just do something different and more exciting, but that involved stepping out of the relationship and spending more time with others–especially women.

It could all be part of his mid-life crisis.

If the guy you’re dating is going through this crisis, it’s not likely that he’ll ever fully recover. And if he’s becoming a more negative person as he ages, it’s best to break up with him on that note.

7) You guys were not sexually compatible

If you do not think that your relationship is going anywhere by the fourth month and there is no sex in it, you should be kind to both yourself and him and move on. 

Simply because there are plenty of other fish in the sea that you can hook onto. 

You might have never had an intimate moment together and he might have felt more comfortable in the early stages of a relationship with someone he knew could eventually make him feel good about himself than he did with you.

So, staying in a relationship for the sake of staying might not be the best idea for maintaining happiness. 

If he feels that he doesn’t get enough sex or is not satisfied with sexual relations, then his head will hurt and he might want to seek another partner who can give him all that and more.

Here’s the point: 

Sexual compatibility is very important in any relationship and if yours is waning, you guys should just part ways.

8) You cheated on him

This isn’t an uncommon reason for a breakup, especially if the other person trusted you implicitly and the betrayal was particularly hard to swallow.

However, you broke his trust. Cheating on someone is not worth the risk, especially when you have a loving partner who supports you and whom you share your life with.

Remember: trust is the foundation of any relationship, and you need to make sure yours stays strong always. He’ll never get over you blatantly betraying him and breaking that trust. Only time can repair this one.

Whether someone was doing this deliberately or not doesn’t matter because it certainly feels like cheating, no matter what the case may be. 

Otherwise, you should feel terrible about yourself and be sure to take full responsibility for your actions.

Cheating never leads to true and happy love. When you cheated on him, your relationship will be doomed. 

Besides, you’ll never know who he might have cheated on you with in return if you are not open in the relationship.

9) You are obsessed with how much money he makes or what kind of car he drives

Someone who is only in love with your money will not be satisfied for long. If you find yourself obsessed with the size of his bank account, he will realize soon and go far away from you. 

If you are so obsessed with his money, he might think that you or your family will try to take his fortune from him after the breakup. 

If you are only in love with your lover’s money, he is more likely to leave you as time goes by.

The more you focus on all the material things in your relationship, the less likely your partner will be happy with his decision to love you.

The more you do not accept the fact that he has others, the more likely you will be jealous and fight with him after the breakup. 

If it seems like some other girl is following your boyfriend everywhere, do not get so possessive about him and try to let go of an emotional attachment to him.

In addition, such a partner would be bored if all you talked about for days is the latest gadget that you both can’t afford.

Just because:

If you find yourself attracted to a guy only because of the way he dresses or how expensive the wine at the restaurant is, you will end up being bored later on when he does not take you out anymore to a fancy dinner.

10) The relationship was too much of a one sided deal

It is possible that the relationship wasn’t even about him at all. 

Perhaps your main focus in the relationship was on yourself and what you wanted, rather than on what he wanted and needed from the very beginning. 

Or you might have been too wrapped up in your own needs or desires to truly think about his needs or desires at all.

Another reason why someone might not want to be with you forever is if the relationship is based on a big effort from him and little or none from you.

Do not get so offended when he does not respond to your text messages because it means he misses you.

Being in love means that you have to do a lot for your partner. If the other party does not appreciate what you have done for him, he most likely will not be content with your relationship anymore.

In this case, it is best to call it quits soon and walk away instead of being dragged down by a boring commitment. Because you will realize it is not growing at all. 

11) You kept bringing up the past

You may be hoping that the past will change, but this wish will never come true. Sometimes, the past can become a focal point for your relationship. 

If he made a mistake or hurt you before, don’t keep bringing it back up every time there’s a conflict between the two of you. 

The very moment you brought up old stories and fights, he might have started thinking of dumping you.

If he’s the type of person to hold a grudge, then he may not be able to forgive you and will end the relationship entirely. After all, if you want him to forget what happened, don’t remind him of it.

Besides, things that are said or done in the past will always come back to haunt you and lead to the demise of the relationship. 

If you brought up thoughts of prior relationships and he thought about things that happened before his relationship with you, it’s likely time for him to move on.

It is better if you are off trying to move on and building memories rather than constantly bringing up the past. 

12) All of his family members hate you and they have been trying to convince him that he shouldn’t be in a relationship with you

If your man wants to stay with you and his family doesn’t approve of it, then that just means that he does not have enough confidence in his decision and loves you enough to ignore them. 

Maybe you can either choose to stay with him or leave him. If you love your guy that much, I’m sure it won’t be hard for you to make the decision.

However, when two people come together in this situation, there will be miscommunication at some point.

It is understandable if your partner’s parents don’t like you because they feel that you are not good enough for their son. If most of his family members and relatives do not support him in being with you, he might be fed up.

When your boyfriend has a lot of problems with his parents,he might have been trying to convince himself that he should leave you alone.

Just think simply:

If his family does not approve of you, he will not be happy being with you forever. They will always try to convince him that it is best to break up with you, he will have little reason to stay with you in the first place.

In this case, it would be best to let go of the relationship instead of fighting against their decision.

13) You make him feel bad about himself or you constantly shame him

When you aren’t happy with yourself, it is hard to be happy with someone else. If you make him feel like he is not good enough for you, he will not want to continue trying to please you.

Furthermore, he may not be able to admit it, but he will realize he has felt inferior to you or that you reminded him how much of a failure he was.

But beware: 

It is hard enough to look in the mirror and accept yourself. To know that someone else will never accept you as you are can be too much for some people to bear.

Besides, women who shame their partners or constantly make them feel bad about themselves can end up pushing their men away. The more you try to put him down, the more he will push you away.

14) He wasn’t ready for a long-term commitment

It’s always best to wait until you feel that you’re ready for a long-term relationship and not just a short-term fling. 

If he is not ready for a serious and long-term commitment, he will be less likely to commit. Even if he was in love with you, he will still find a reason to end your relationship. 

Even if you do all the right things to make him fall in love with you, if he has not made up his mind yet, do not get too attached to him. He might find another girl later on who will make him happy. 

So if you’re unsure about your feelings, break up or stay back after some time, instead of waiting too long and coming to the worst.

It’s better to break up early than later. If he’s not ready for a long-term relationship, then he probably wouldn’t have been ready for a short-term one either.

15) Your lives are too different now

Maybe you’ve picked up new interests since you’ve been with him and he hasn’t. It might be time to break up before your new interests make you look at him differently than as a boyfriend.

Someone who is not your soulmate would not be able to stay in a relationship with you for very long. If the two people are just living their lives differently, it means that they both would be bored after a while. 

In the past, maybe you had a common goal, it could have drawn the two of you closer. 

However, as time went by and your lives got more different, the two of you would begin to grow apart. You guys lost your hobbies and interests together.

When you guys do not have any common interests, you will have nothing to talk about for days. You might be having one-sided conversations that are just not interesting to your partner anymore.

Furthermore, when there are too many disagreements that cause a fight every single time, it will be hard to continue your relationship.

If you are trying your best to make the relationship work with little or no results, it is time to let go of him so that he can find someone who is better suited for him. 

16) You gave up too many of your standards in the relationship 

Eventually, you will find someone who is willing to do everything that you want and need. 

If you give up too many standards that you have and lower your requirements too much, it will be difficult to find someone who wants to marry you. 

Or when you have too many condition requirements and he cannot keep up with them, he will soon grow tired of you. In this case, it is best to end things before the relationship ends up being a farce. 

Although every relationship requires you to make a lot of compromises and adjustments. If you give up all your standards, it will eventually lead to the breakup because the other party might not find it exciting anymore.

17) You cause fights or even physical violence

Being in a relationship means that you will be spending a lot of time with each other. The more you are together, the more chances there are for fights to break out. 

At that time the other party will not want to be with you any longer because they are sick of your constant fights and bad moods.

It is a known fact that hurting people will hurt people. If you do not take care of your attitude, he will eventually walk away quietly as he knows it is for the better.

Physical violence is never justified, but some people do not understand this. If you are the kind of person who gets violent when you get mad, your partner will not want to be with someone like that for long. 

When someone you love breaks up with you, it can feel like no explanation is good enough. Oftentimes, the breakup is done so suddenly that there may not even be time for an explanation. 

You have a lot of questions about this. However, no matter what the reason for his sudden departure, you need to learn how to get over it. 

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

Click here to get started.