It’s not always easy to be in a relationship, especially for sensitive people.
Sensitive people often struggle in relationships because they pick up on tiny signals that other people don’t see and experience things more acutely than others do. It can be both a blessing and a curse.
But what makes you so sensitive?
Here are 18 reasons why you’re so sensitive in your relationship:
1) You pick up on tiny signals that other people don’t notice
Sensitive people are incredibly perceptive, but this only extends so far. If your partner is lying to you about something, you’re unlikely to pick up on it.
You might, however, notice things that other people don’t, like a change in your partner’s tone of voice or facial expression.
You might also notice when your partner isn’t making eye contact with you or when they’re holding themselves in a certain way.
These tiny signals might not mean anything to anyone else, but they might make you feel uncomfortable. You might not even be able to articulate why they bother you, but they’re enough to make you feel uneasy.
Your partner, who is not as sensitive as you are, probably won’t even notice these signs.
2) You have a rich internal life and experience your emotions deeply
Your emotions are often very intense, so you experience them very deeply.
This means that when you’re happy, you’re ecstatic. When you’re angry, you’re furious. When you’re sad, you’re inconsolable.
Now, your partner, who is not as sensitive as you are, will feel differently. They might experience the same emotions, but they won’t feel as strongly as you do. They might not even understand why you’re so upset or angry.
You might find that your relationship is very up and down. One minute, everything is great and you’re both happy; the next, you’re fighting because of an argument that nobody else even noticed.
3) A relationship coach can give you real clarity
While this article will shed light on the main reasons you’re so sensitive in your relationship, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.
With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice tailored to your unique situation…
Relationship Hero is a popular site where highly trained relationship coaches help people work through complex relationship issues, like dealing with your emotions and understanding that your partner may not be as sensitive as you are. Their popularity boils down to how skilled their coaches are.
Why am I so confident that they can help you?
Well, after recently experiencing a rough patch in my own relationship, I reached out to them for help. From the moment I got in touch, I was given genuine, helpful advice, and was finally able to see my relationship issues with real clarity.
I was blown away by how kind and empathetic my coach was.
Within minutes, you could be receiving life-changing advice on how to navigate and repair the issues you’re facing in your relationship.
4) Your past has made you this way
As a child, you didn’t have the power to change your environment or the people around you.
You had no control over what happened to you, and that made you incredibly sensitive.
If you grew up in an abusive home, you’re more likely to be sensitive as an adult. You’re also more likely to have trust issues, to struggle with setting boundaries, and to be a people-pleaser.
But wait, there’s more. If you grew up in a home where you weren’t loved or if your parents were toxic and put their needs above yours, you are likely to be more sensitive.
If you were the victim of bullying or had a horrible relationship with a friend, you might also be more sensitive.
You had no control over those situations, and they made you incredibly sensitive. Your past experiences may be impacting your relationship even if you’re in a healthy and safe relationship now.
5) You care too much about what others think of you
You care too much about what others think of you and you’re overanalyzing everything you do and every tiny mistake that you make.
You’re too sensitive in your relationship because you’re constantly worried that your partner is judging you and that they’re not happy in the relationship.
In fact, you’re so concerned with doing everything right that you’re not really enjoying your relationship.
You might constantly be looking for your partner’s approval and worrying about disappointing them.
You care too much about what your partner thinks of you, that you’re putting a lot of pressure on yourself.
But the thing is that you can’t control how your partner feels or what they think of you. You can only control your actions and reactions and try to minimize the impact that this has on your relationship.
6) You care deeply about the people you love
You’re fiercely loyal to the people you love, and you’d do anything for them.
Sometimes, this means that you get too deeply involved in other people’s lives and become a bit too controlling. You care about everything that happens to them and want to see them happy.
You’re also incredibly sensitive to any criticism. You don’t take it lightly and often feel deeply hurt by it. You take things that other people wouldn’t even notice as criticism very personally.
The bottom line is that you’re incredibly empathetic, and you feel for the people you love deeply. You don’t want to see them hurt and want to protect them.
7) You process everything that happens very slowly
Here’s the thing:
Sensitive people tend to process everything that happens very slowly.
You will try to understand what your partner is feeling and thinking, but you take your time doing so.
This is because you want to consider all of the information carefully and not make any rash decisions. You want to be fair, and you want to understand your partner’s point of view.
Sometimes, this can be frustrating for your partner. They want to move past the argument or discussion and put it behind them. For you, though, it’s still there, still plaguing you.
You’re still trying to come to a decision or understand what happened. Your partner might not understand why everything is still so fresh in your mind.
8) The relationships you want are the hardest to find and maintain
You often find yourself attracted to the wrong type of person.
You want someone who is loving and affectionate and who will treat you with respect.
Unfortunately, you find yourself in relationships with people who are too toxic. They don’t treat you well, they don’t want to be in a committed relationship with you, or they’re just not the right type of person for you.
Your sensitivity means that you want the perfect relationship with the perfect person, but this is hard to find.
So how can you deal with your sensitivity in a practical way?
I know just the thing – the free Love and Intimacy video by the world-renowned shaman Rudá Iandê.
While watching it, I felt like someone understood my struggles to find love (and keep it) for the first time – and finally offered an actual solution dealing with my sensitivity and finding the right partner for me.
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9) Your sensitivity can be overwhelming
Being so sensitive means that you experience everything more deeply. This includes love and affection.
You love your partner with all of your heart and feel incredibly affectionate towards them. You want to hold them and kiss them and shower them with gifts. You love them so much that it’s almost overwhelming.
But, your partner, who isn’t as sensitive as you are, doesn’t feel things in the same way. They don’t react the same way you do. They may not be as affectionate or show their love in the same way.
This doesn’t mean that they don’t love you, it just means that they’re different, and you have to be okay with that.
10) Your environment is making you more sensitive
Did you know that your environment is a huge factor in your relationship? It could be contributing to your sensitivity.
Maybe you’re in a highly stressful job, you’re living in an environment where crime is high, or you don’t have support from your family and friends.
If your environment is making you stressed out and anxious all the time, it’s going to impact your relationship. Your sensitivity can be magnified when you’re living in an environment where you feel threatened or scared.
You’re also more likely to react to every little thing and read far too much into your partner’s actions.
Try to find a safer, more peaceful space.
11) You avoid conflict
You don’t like to argue, and you don’t like to hurt the people you love.
You don’t like to upset anyone, and you’re very careful with your words.
Being in a relationship often means disagreeing and arguing, but you try to avoid any conflict, even if it means going along with something you don’t agree with.
Sometimes, your partner wants you to get things off your chest and let out your frustration, but it takes you a long time to do so. You want to be fair, you want to be thoughtful, and you want to consider all of the facts.
But your partner is different and doesn’t want to wait for you to process everything. They want to talk and get it out of their system.
12) People treat you differently because of your sensitivity
People often treat you differently because they are aware of your sensitivity.
They want to make sure that they don’t upset you and that they’re careful with their words.
They don’t want to hurt you, but this can sometimes be patronizing. They might be afraid to give you their opinion or ask you for yours.
They might think that you’re too fragile or too sensitive to handle anything challenging. This can be frustrating for you because you want to be treated like an equal partner.
You want to be able to have a real discussion and be able to disagree with your partner. You don’t want to be treated like a precious flower.
13) You’re an empath
Being an empath means that you are highly sensitive to other people’s emotions and take them on board.
If you are an empath, your heightened sensitivity to other people’s emotions can make relationships incredibly challenging. You feel what your partner feels, and you might not understand why they’re upset.
You might not even know that you’re doing it, but you are taking on their emotions and experiencing them as your own. That can be incredibly draining, and if you don’t know that you’re doing it, it’s really hard to stop.
14) You struggle to set boundaries and say no
Setting boundaries is very important in a relationship.
It’s how you let your partner know what is and isn’t okay.
If your boundaries aren’t clear, you’re asking your partner to read your mind, and that puts a huge amount of pressure on them.
If you don’t set boundaries, it also tells your partner that they don’t have any responsibility towards you. That suggests that you can’t depend on them to treat you well.
You see, boundaries are about taking care of yourself and making sure that your needs are met. If you struggle to set boundaries, then your early experiences may have impacted you.
Perhaps you grew up in a home where people were always putting others before themselves or you were taught that putting yourself first was selfish. If that’s the case, you might need to retrain yourself to set better boundaries.
15) You’re a people-pleaser
If you’re a people-pleaser, you constantly want to make those around you happy. You’re trying very hard to make sure that everyone around you is happy and satisfied.
Now, that sounds like a great quality, but it can mean that you’re not putting enough consideration into your own needs.
If you’re a people-pleaser, you’re not only making your partner happy, but you’re also satisfying their every whim. You’re putting your needs last, which is pretty much impossible to sustain.
You can’t walk on water for very long, and your partner will notice the strain you’re putting yourself under. That’s not fair to them, and it’s also not good for you.
You need to recognize when you’re being a people-pleaser and make a conscious effort to change it.
16) Incorrect beliefs about relationships
Beliefs are like rules and expectations that are buried deep within your subconscious.
If you grew up in a family where relationships were painful and challenging, you may have picked up some really negative beliefs about relationships.
Maybe you grew up in a home where there was a lot of fighting or you were told that relationships were hard and that you should expect to be single for most of your life.
If you have some pretty negative beliefs about relationships, you may find them incredibly draining.
You may feel constantly anxious or worried about your relationship and what your partner is thinking. You may be constantly trying to read their signals and figure out what is wrong with your relationship.
If you’re bringing these beliefs into your relationship, you need to dig them out and replace them with healthier and more positive ones.
17) Other problems in your life are impacting your relationship
If you’re experiencing a major life event, such as a death in the family or a health scare, you may find that you’re more sensitive than usual in your relationship.
If you’re experiencing other major life events, such as moving countries or getting married, you’re likely to be even more sensitive.
These events are incredibly stressful and taxing on your system. They take a lot out of you and may leave you feeling emotionally drained and overwhelmed.
Your relationship may feel like one more thing that you need to deal with at a time when you have very little energy and resources to draw from.
The bottom line is that if you’re experiencing other major life events, you need to recognize that they’re impacting your relationship and make room for them.
18) You think too much and overanalyze everything
This is more of a general problem than a relationship issue, but it may be impacting your relationship.
If you spend too much time thinking, you’re probably overanalyzing everything. Your partner is not a mind reader, and they can’t read your thoughts.
If you’re not communicating your needs to them, they have no way of meeting them.
You may also be picking up on things that aren’t actually there. It could be that you’re reading things into your partner’s behavior that aren’t there.
You may be putting a negative spin on their actions when there is no need to do so.
All in all, if you’re thinking too much and overanalyzing everything, you need to try to take a step back.
Being in a relationship is tough for everyone, but it can be extra challenging for sensitive people.
You want to be with someone who loves and respects you, but you also want to be with someone who understands your need for space and solitude.
In short: You want to be with someone who can handle your emotions.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
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I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.
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