Do you always get irritated and cranky towards your boyfriend without clear reasons?
You love him, but you find yourself getting annoyed, aiming harsh words at him, and burdening him with your mood.
Keep reading to know if it’s because of your boyfriend’s grumpiness or you’re being overly moody yourself.
So, let’s get started so you can deal with it and change before it’s too late.
10 reasons you’re being moody with your boyfriend
Life can be so overwhelming and stressful that sometimes we take it on with the person closest to us.
Here are the most likely causes of your moody blues and how you can easily prevent them from plaguing you.
1) You’re stressed out
Stress brings negative effects on our bodies and behaviors. It can impact your mood whether you’re conscious of it or not.
You may not be aware that your stress is affecting the people around you too.
When you have a bad day, you become impatient and emotional. So whatever your boyfriend do can cause you to snap instantly. Lashing it out on him will make him feel bad and might chip away at his self-confidence.
Try not to allow stressful situations to overwhelm you. Instead, relax and channel your stress by doing something productive.
2) You have low self-confidence
How you feel about yourself affects how you treat people.
Your self-esteem impacts your health, relationships, mental health, and overall well-being. And several factors cause low self-confidence.
When your self-confidence is low, you could be unconsciously letting your miseries out to your boyfriend.
Or it could be because your judgment is being blinded by jealousy. Maybe you feel left behind when your significant other is doing well in themselves.
You’re getting moody as you’re being driven by your insecurities.
Practice self-care and think of what you’re good at. Ask your boyfriend for support, which I’m sure he’ll gladly give you.
And make sure that your jealousy doesn’t go unchecked.
3) You need space
Needing space in a relationship doesn’t necessarily mean you’re breaking up.
Maybe you’re not giving yourself time to do things that you used to do before, so you resent not getting enough time for yourself.
When you always take out your frustrations on your boyfriend, it can strain your relationship. Instead of enjoying quality time together, it gets filled with negativity.
If you’ve been short-tempered with your boyfriend most of the time, take it as a sign that you need to give each other space.
The last thing you want to do is argue with him all the time or give him a hard time.
Make yourself a priority. Enjoy spending time doing things that you love so you’ll start looking forward to being with your boyfriend once more.
4) You’re worried he might leave you
Putting pressure on your boyfriend can push him away.
Maybe you’re scared that things won’t work out in your relationship. Maybe you’ve been hurt before and you’re scared it might happen again.
Whichever the case might be, this is a sign that you’ve fallen into a pattern of codependence, and you might be playing the needy role in your relationship.
This relationship dynamic is discussed by renowned shaman Ruda Iande in his Love and Intimacy masterclass.
A master at solving love and relationship issues, Ruda explains that when there is a needy and a savior role in a relationship, the needy relies on the savior to fulfill all their needs.
They think: I can’t live without them. Life is not worth it without them. I could never love anybody else.
And it’s not romantic — it’s toxic.
If you want to break this cycle of codependency, maybe Ruda’s knowledge on Love and Intimacy might help.
5) You’re not taking good care of yourself
Have you been paying attention to your feelings, thoughts, and actions? Or it could be that you’re neglecting your needs too?
Maybe you’re too focused on putting your partner, your relationship, or other people before yourself.
Moods are triggered by possible causes such as:
- You’re eating a lot of processed foods and indulging in sweets
- You’re taking too much alcohol
- You’re depriving yourself of that much-needed sleep
- You’re too tired
- You’re spending too much time with toxic people
- You’re blaming it on your period hormones
Self-care matters a lot. Give yourself time to love and care for yourself. Doing this will give your mood a positive boost.
6) He’s not the one for you
Feelings and people change.
While you love him, deep down, you know it’s not what you want. And you can’t seem to make the relationship work.
Maybe you’re having thoughts of leaving the relationship so you’re getting cranky with your boyfriend most of the time.
You’ll see red flags when it’s time to call it quits or when to stick it out. No wonder, you’re always finding fault and getting irritable in everything he does and doesn’t do.
Make sure to act on this as getting dragged by your moods can make you and your boyfriend miserable. This can also cause damage to your mental health and confidence.
Decide if it’s better to let go and end the relationship. If you ever feel guilty for doing this, read this to know how to deal with the guilt of breaking the other heart.
7) You don’t feel valued
Maybe you’re pleasing your boyfriend too much and he doesn’t seem to notice it. Or maybe you’re putting a lot of effort into the relationship and expect your boyfriend to do the same.
You’re getting frustrated by his actions that you become passive-aggressive. And since you feel being taken for granted, you get irritable at him.
So to get his attention, you get moody and bicker him with unnecessary words.
It can be devastating when your boyfriend seems to ignore what you do for them. But sometimes, it doesn’t always mean he doesn’t appreciate you.
It could be that your boyfriend is showing it through other ways like a tender touch.
Try to focus on why you’re doing it. Your boyfriend might not be aware of this also, so it’s best to talk to him calmly so he knows where you’re coming from.
And maybe it’s time to trigger the hero instinct in your boyfriend.
8) You could be suppressing an issue
This could be a misunderstanding or an argument that you and your boyfriend haven’t fully resolved.
Perhaps there’s something that’s been bothering your mind and you couldn’t bring it up. Or maybe you thought that your boyfriend cared less about what you’ve been telling him.
You have this resentment that makes you act so mean and irritable towards your boyfriend. Those little matters and unresolved issues feed your frustrations.
When you’re both in a calm state, open up and talk about what’s bothering you. Work on it and find a common ground.
Compromise and listen to each other’s points of view.
9) You always think of his flaws
When you have high expectations for yourself, you tend to expect the same from your partner.
You might find reasons to criticize your boyfriend and his bad habits.
His flaws get to you and you get too irritated with everything he does. This stops you from seeing the best things about him and enjoying his company.
Remember that when you love someone, you accept them for who they are and you love them no matter what. Sometimes, the imperfections that we have can make us better people and make the relationship we have much stronger.
Keep in mind that there isn’t a perfect partner.
Accept your boyfriend’s flaws and imperfections. Be more compassionate and understand his insecurities and so you can see the positive traits that he has.
And take time to remember the personality that you fall in love with.
10) Your boyfriend isn’t fully present
When you’re hanging out together, it can be annoying when you feel that your boyfriend is not being attentive to you.
It seems that he doesn’t want to listen to you. Or maybe his mind is somewhere else or he keeps on checking his phone.
Some reasons why your partner isn’t paying attention could be:
- Maybe he’s going through a difficult time
- Maybe he lost interest in you or the relationship
- Maybe he’s distracted by other commitments
Understandably, you’ll feel neglected when this situation keeps on happening. You might even feel frustrated and hurt.
Understand if your partner is going through something and find ways to keep the spark alive.
Considering that your boyfriend isn’t an asshole, there’s a secret to winning his heart.
10 ways to handle your mood and stop being irritable
We all experience going from being happy to being cranky once in a while. And we know how it feels.
While there are underlying causes and symptoms of a woman’s moodiness, remember that this moodiness can cloud our entire day like an irritable ache. We can’t ignore it.
Moods, when not managed well and if you’re not careful, can wreak havoc in our lives and relationships. After all, being moody also affects the people we love too.
Since your frequent mood swings can negatively impact your life, your boyfriends’ and your relationship, you must handle it.
So instead of getting irritable with your boyfriend, take responsibility for your mood swings.
Let these strategies help you so you can bid goodbye to being moody
1) See things from his perspective
You can’t force a good mood, but you can try to shift your mindset. If things get difficult, find ways to stress out.
When you’re in a relationship, it’s important to know your partner’s point of view.
This article from Psychology Today shares the value of seeing the relationship from your partner’s eyes and how it can strengthen the bonds in your relationship.
2) Set a positive mood
Try to watch a good movie or listen to upbeat songs. Meditate, as it can effectively boost your mood.
You see, I used to be cranky and angry all the time, too. And when I’m around my partner, I find myself being so moody for no reason.
But when I started to take some time off my day to sit down, relax, and meditate, I found my worries slowly slipping away.
Because it is self-healing, I learned that I have the power to control my feelings, instead of letting them control me.
By the end of the day, I was worry-free. My mood is lighter, which means my boyfriend and I find it easier — and more enjoyable — to be in each other’s company.
So, if you want the same for yourself, maybe you could give it a try!
3) Acknowledge your feelings
Remind yourself of what’s happening.
By taking a deep breath and focusing on your breathing, you can calm down and be in a better mood.
Emotional awareness helps you know yourself better, communicate your needs, and understand why your partner reacts in a certain way.
4) Spend time with yourself
Doing things that you enjoy or simply taking a break from everything can do wonders for your feelings.
This puts you in a better mindset to take care of yourself and the relationship. This will also help you navigate the pressures and work on them.
5) Retreat to your personal space
Work on easing your stress and anxiety. Read your favorite book, listen to a feel-good song, or watch a Netflix show. Go somewhere quiet where you can find time to relax and stress out.
Psychologist and research professor at the University of Michigan’s Institute for Social Research, Dr. Terri Orbuch, shares that:
“Time alone also gives partners time to process their thoughts, pursue hobbies and relax without responsibilities to others.
6) Appreciate your boyfriend
Counting your blessings and expressing gratitude makes you feel positively better.
7) Give yourself that much-needed “me-time”
If you feel cranky or irritable all of a sudden, tell your boyfriend that you need to walk away.
Calm yourself then get back at him when your mood turns well. You can also get a massage as a rubdown can reduce stress and has a positive effect on your mood.
8) Do something spontaneous
You might want to bring change when things get boring.
For instance, you can dress up differently like you never did before. Or maybe, try going out to a different restaurant and order dishes you haven’t tried. This will keep the fire in your relationship.
9) Work on what’s going on inside you
Take a minute to know where your angst is coming from.
Consider what caused you to get too irritable at him so you can handle it before things get worse.
10) Seek professional support if you must
There are cases where being cranky could have an underlying medical condition or mood disorder like bipolar disorder or depression.
If you can’t find a way to handle your moods or pinpoint their causes, it could be a chemical imbalance.
Pay attention if you’re starting to isolate yourself or lose interest in doing your daily activities.
You might benefit from some form of meditation or talk therapy. It also pays to have an important discussion with your healthcare partner.
With these approaches, you can easily break the vicious cycle of getting mad at your boyfriend and protect your relationship from moodiness.
What’s important is to work on improving your sense of well-being.
Deal with your mood when your boyfriend is an asshole
Maybe you’re being too cranky because you’re dealing with your boyfriend’s undesirable traits.
- It’s all about him
- He’s controlling you and thinks he owns you
- He’s unapologetic about his bad behavior
- He won’t do anything to correct his attitude
- He blames you or other’s when he does something wrong
- He makes excuses for his unacceptable behavior
- He doesn’t care even if you’re upset with him
- He stood you up or ditches you
- He wants you to support him when he does something awful
- He argues with you every chance he gets
Sorry to say, but this asshole boyfriend is a loser. And he doesn’t deserve you in the first place.
If this is the case and if your boyfriend is being a jerk and you can’t deal with his attitude, this article about how to deal with assholes can help you.
But if you’ve already done your part and he refuses to budge from his unacceptable attitude, maybe it’s the right time to make a decision.
Don’t settle with this asshole, please. It’s not worth it.
So, I hope you take this advice: Just get out of that toxic relationship while you still can.
Keep in mind that you’re worth so much more than that.
Be in the mood to bring the spark back
Even when the pressures of life get into you or no matter how frustrated you might be with him, lashing out and being mean will never be ok.
Whether or not your boyfriend deserved what you did or said, know that you have hurt his feelings in the process.
Whatever the reasons are that drove you to snap or argue with him, take time to apologize for not being nice.
- Give your boyfriend the respect he deserves
- Work on ways to keep him happy in the relationship
- Appreciate the relationship that you have and the love you’re sharing before you lose it
- Focus on what you can control, how you spend your time, and how you think about yourself
No matter the reason for your moods, expressing your anger and frustration can affect the connection you have with your boyfriend.
Never allow your crankiness and annoyance to add strain to your relationship. You’re in a relationship and both of you deserve to be happy and loved.
The key here is:
Try expressing how you feel without pushing him away.
With honesty, patience, compassion, and understanding, your relationship will thrive rather than one that becomes frayed at the seams.
And I believe that you can journey towards a happier, healthier relationship.
I have faith in you.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
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