19 reasons you’re sexually attracted to older men (complete list)

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I’m going to be honest with you, ladies. After going out with guys my age, I decided to date an older man. 

And, to my surprise, I found him sexually enticing!

Well, it turns out I was not the only one. Most gals (and guys too!) find older men oh-so-irresistible.

Below, I’ve listed 19 reasons why:

1) He’s full of confidence

Confidence is sexy!

Supporting this claim is an article at the Society of Personality and Social Psychology that goes: 

“Folk wisdom suggests that confidence is highly attractive to potential partners, and research has confirmed that men and women rate confidence as a very attractive trait in a potential partner.” (Buunk, Dijkstra, Fetchenhauer, & Kenrick, 2002).

So what makes this confidence oh-so-appealing? As the same author puts it, “Because we trust that people know themselves well, and assume that their confidence (or lack thereof) reflects their actual value as a partner.”

As you see, it’s not surprising why women love going for older men. Compared to younger guys, they are brimming with confidence. 

Maybe it’s their experience dealing with women across the years? 

2) He’s more romantic

Sure, a young man can be romantic. But when it comes to older men, oh boy. 

They sure can take the romance up to a whole new level. 

Lavish dinners. Even more lavish gifts.

And it’s not just the material things that make them appealing. They’ll make a surprise visit at work or stash a love note in your drawer in his house. 

They’re not one to send a ‘U up?’ text at 2:30 in the morning. 

Being suckers for romance, it’s no surprise that women find older men sexually irresistible. 

3) He treats you like a princess

Let’s face it. We girls like being pampered, not only physically – but also emotionally. And, by golly, older men know how to treat you like a princess! 

Having been around women for so long, they know what ladies want and crave in a relationship – unlike younger, inexperienced men

In other words, they know how to make you feel appreciated, understood, and wanted. It’s no surprise why you’re more than willing to be with them.

4) He’s mature

It’s a known fact that some guys can be emotionally immature

It’s actually a legit psychological condition called the ‘‘Peter Pan Syndrome,’ where men continue to act childish despite their age.

Of course, many of us have dated quite a few Peter Pans. It’s thoroughly exhausting! 

That’s why I can’t blame women who made the switch to older guys. 

For one, they’re not called mature men for nothing.

They know how to manage and process their emotions – regardless of what’s happening around them.  

They own up to their mistakes and aren’t afraid to be vulnerable.

They can take responsibility and, at the same time, show empathy to others. 

If that’s not an ideal guy, I don’t know what is! 

5) He’s a hero

Do you know why your older men come across as sexually attractive? Well, it’s because they’re full-blown heroes. 

Maybe you aren’t familiar with it, but a new theory in the relationship world is causing quite a stir.

It’s called the hero instinct

Coined by relationship expert James Bauer, this fascinating concept finally explains how older men really think and feel in relationships. 

And it’s something most women have never even heard of. 

According to James Bauer, mature men don’t actually need a lot to feel content in their relationships. In fact, what they need has nothing to do with sex. 

Older men have specific innate drivers. And when the right woman comes along and triggers them, it causes a powerful response. 

The result is a man who loves harder, commits wholeheartedly, and truly dedicates himself to the relationship. 

So if you’re wondering how to trigger your man’s hero instinct, the easiest thing to do is watch this simple and genuine video by James Bauer

See,  once you understand how the hero instinct works, there’s no telling what heights your relationship can reach. 

So if you want to give your older man what he truly wants from you, make sure to check out James Bauer’s excellent video. In it, he reveals the exact texts and phrases you can use straight away.

Here’s a link to the free video again.

6) He’s financially stable

Sure, not all older men are rich. But most of them are financially stable, and, as psychologist Ronald Riggio, Ph.D., says, “Money is sexy.” 

In fact, many studies have shown that “The top quality that makes a woman sexy is physical attractiveness, while for men it is money.

Money indicates that a man is a good provider, but all in all, there’s something sexy about all that money and power.”

And while some ladies can get very shallow when it comes to dating, dating a financially-stable man doesn’t automatically make one a gold-digger. 

Many are in it for the sex it brings! 

As Dr. Riggio goes on to explain: 

“Survey responses from wealthy women suggested that they had better sex lives because they could afford to travel to exotic places and because they had more free time. For example, 72% of the wealthy women said they were members of the Mile High Club – of course, most owned their own planes.”

Speaking of sex…

7) He’s sexually experienced

Some swear off older men because of their age and the notion that they no longer have much stamina.

While this may hold true for some mature men, it’s not always the case. In fact, many women are surprised by the sexual tricks mature guys have!

For one, they have a track record. Sure, younger men can do it all night (and day long,) but this does not always equate to a fun, fulfilling experience. 

Newsflash: it can be painful and annoying at times!

As for older men, they’ve been doing it (literally) for so long that they know the right way to please any woman. They can take you to throes of ecstasy, unlike any other partner you’ve had before! 

8) He reeks of power and authority

As Henry Kissinger puts it: “Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac.”

Ruth Westheimer begs to differ, though. According to the sex therapist, it is ‘male power’ that is the ultimate aphrodisiac. 

Obviously, older men have a lot of traits that many women find enthralling. It’s just that they have the power and authority that figure in highly, too. 

Just take the case of Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky. What could be more appealing than being with one of the most influential persons in the world: the US President?  

And mind you, it’s not just ‘subordinate’ women. The same appeal goes to women who hold similar positions of power. 

9) He’s stylish

Maybe it’s the confidence. Or perhaps it’s the years of refining their fashion sense. Whatever the reason may be, there’s no denying that mature men are oh-so-stylish. 

Just think of George Clooney, Richard Gere, and Lenny Kravitz. The list goes on!

Evidently, this polished style makes older men very attractive to young and mature women alike. If they’re already eye candy while dressed, just imagine how they are in their birthday suit! 

10) He knows what he wants

Younger men can be very fickle. One day he wants you, and the next, he doesn’t. 

Well, with older men, it’s often the opposite thing. 

They know what they want in you – and the relationship. They won’t flip-flop or change their mind just cause.

If they want to be in a relationship with you, it’s because they do want to be with you. You don’t have to do an exhausting guessing game. 

This certainty – among many other things – make mature men great catches. Women find assuring men sexually attractive, after all. 

11) He’s filled with wisdom

With maturity comes another attractive aspect: wisdom. 

True enough, older men are wise beyond their years. He’s been around for quite some time, so he has learned his fair share of lessons. 

This wisdom is apparent in conversations, which are smarter if not enlightening. It’s not the usual, run-of-the-mill boring talk that’ll make you want to shoot yourself. 

Believe me, this is something you wouldn’t ordinarily get from a young, hunky man.

This even fares better if you’re a sapiosexual – which means you’re attracted to intelligent people. So if you’re one who’s easily turned on by profound conversations, an older guy is perfect for you. I’m sure he will be readily able to push your buttons. 

12) He’s a good communicator

Not only is an older man better with conversations, but he’s excellent at the art of communicating as well. Again, this is because of the life lessons they’re learned along the way. 

They’ve already dealt with several women, so they know how to communicate with them accurately. They know better to discuss things than just keep them bottled up inside. 

Indeed, communication is vital for every relationship, whether with an old or young partner. A lack of it can lead to conflicts, misunderstandings, and, worse, loneliness.

Needless to say, a communicative, expressive man is one hell of a catch! 

13) He makes you feel secure

An older man is not just a hero. If you’ve dated a few, you know that he has the qualities that make you feel more secure. 

For starters, he could be financially stable (more about this below.) This makes him socially stable, too. 

Older men are also more dependable, unlike younger men, who flake when things get serious. 

More importantly, older men possess the traits you’ll find in a secure bond. They’re emotionally mature, and, as I’ve mentioned, they can take full responsibility! I don’t know about you, but the prospect of a secure relationship is more than titillating! 

14) He’s more likely to be faithful

If you’ve dated young, alpha men, you probably know what the deal is. They’ll sleep around and even break up with you unexpectedly.

And I’m not saying older, alpha men can’t. It’s just they’re less likely to do so. Again, maybe it’s because of the wisdom and maturity they built up throughout the years. 

I don’t know about you, but this makes faithful men crazy attractive. Who doesn’t want to be the only apple in your man’s eye? 

15) He’s not one to play games

Let me circle back to the alpha man phenomenon. See, this guy yearns to be the top dog in his circle. 

As such, he’ll do whatever it takes to do this – even if it means playing around with a girl’s feelings. 

While you can read through his player ways just by reading his texts, some are cunning enough to break your heart.

Maybe you’re tired of this happening repeatedly, so that’s why you decided to cross the other side. 

As you see, it’s a good decision. For one, mature men know that they shouldn’t be playing games anymore. 

And, from any woman’s POV, this goody-two-shoes approach makes older men unbelievably appealing. 

16) He’s different from the other guys you’ve dated

When it comes to dating, you need a ‘palate cleanser’ from time to time. Sure, going out with young, hunky men is great, but it’s even more incredible when you date the complete opposite.

Someone with which you have little (or nothing) in common

See, older men have a mysterious air of sorts. It may be the patches of gray hair or the few wrinkles on their faces. Whatever it may be, this ‘uniqueness’ makes mature men undeniably attractive. 

17) He’s more or less a family man

Many women (me included) yearn to start a family. The problem, however, is finding the right partner. 

As you see, nothing compares to the readiness of a mature man. Having been around for quite some time, he knows the ropes of starting (or rearing) a family. 

In fact, you can see this in his children (if he already has some.) If his kids have grown up to be model citizens, there’s a great chance that yours would do too. 

Needless to say, this family man trait makes him great relationship material!  

18) It’s your fetish

Well, it’s possible that you have gerontophilia.

According to Scientific American, it’s an “erotic age orientation in which one is most strongly aroused by the elderly.”

In other words, it’s the ‘love for persons of an advanced age.’ 

Adds author Jesse Bering:

“It is the elderly body type that is most appealing to the “true gerontophile,” the standard physical signs of advanced age (such as fragility, wrinkles, stooped posture, white hair, slow gait, and all the rest).” 

So what if you prefer older men to younger ones? As I always say, to each their own! 

19) You may have some daddy issues

Let’s face it. If your father were out of the picture most of your life, you’d be looking for a man who can take his place (at least figuratively.)

After all, an older man can help create happiness – take care of you financially, just like a father should. 

Apart from influencing your ‘choice’ of a partner, your daddy issues may affect how you approach your relationships. You could be very needy and suspicious/jealous of your partner. 

Sadly, these can turn things sour. In fact, it may prod you (and your older man) to give up on the love you have and walk away. 

But before this happens, let me offer a solution. 

See, you have all the tools you need to do this right now, right where you are. 

I learned about this from the modern-day shaman Rudá Iandê. He taught me how the lies we tell ourselves about love are part of what traps us in various emotional difficulties. 

As Rudá explains in this transformational free video, love is available to us if we cut through the lies that we tell ourselves. 

We need to face the facts about love straight up!. 

Rudá’s teachings showed me a whole new perspective, and I’m sure he can do this for you too! 

While watching his video, I instantly felt that he understood my struggles. He even offered a real, practical solution to the love issues I was facing.  

If you’re done with wasting your time on relationships that don’t work, I invite you to watch this short video and open your mind to new possibilities. 

Click here to watch the free video.


As you see, there are many reasons why you find older men crazy sexy. 

It’s the confidence, maturity, and *ahem* experience.

Most importantly, they have what James Bauer calls the hero instinct. 

I touched on it earlier, and I think it’s the perfect remedy for your current situation. 


Because once a man’s hero instinct is triggered, he’ll only have eyes for you – and only you. You’ll reach a part of him that no woman has ever managed to get to before. 

And in return, he’ll be compelled to commit to you and love you like he’s never loved another woman. 

So if you’re ready to achieve greater heights in your relationship, make sure to check out relationship expert James Bauer’s invaluable advice.

Click here to watch the excellent free video.

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

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