You had a great night together, sparks flew, and there was definite chemistry. So why won’t he text you back?
Why does he ignore you after hooking up with you?
Consider this article your ultimate guide to understanding why this happens and what you can do about it.
1) He’s just not that into you
It happens to the best of us. We meet a guy and we immediately feel a connection.
The chemistry is off the charts. We think we’ve met Mr. Right.
Then, the next morning, we wake up to find a cold, indifferent guy in bed beside us.
He’s just not that into you. The spark is gone. The connection feels more like a disconnected line.
When this happens, it can be very disappointing. And it can be hard to understand why a guy would do this.
The truth is, there are a number of reasons why a guy would behave this way after a great night together.
It could be anything from a difference in expectations to a difference in values.
The best thing you can do is try to understand where he’s coming from and what’s in his head. You can’t change what you don’t understand.
However, sometimes there is simply no good explanation.
You see, some guys hook up with girls they aren’t even really into, just for the sake of it, and there’s nothing to logically deduce here.
I know, that’s not the answer you want to hear, but unfortunately, it’s one of the most common reasons for a guy to ghost after hooking up with someone.
2) You scared him off
One of the reasons why a guy may be ignoring you after hooking up with you is that he’s scared.
This might sound like an odd reason but it does happen sometimes.
It’s more common than you might think. It might be that after you hooked up, he got nervous about asking you out on a proper date.
He may have been worried about what you would say or do.
This fear might even have gotten in the way of him asking for your number.
He may have been worried about what you would say or do.
It’s like first-date jitters, only amplified because he already hooked up with you and he’s afraid of scaring you off by asking you out again.
So, if you have a guy in your life who is ignoring you, he may be doing so because he’s scared to go any further.
However, this one can also go the other way.
He might be scared off because you came on too strong.
You see, some guys pull away once they realize that you are into them.
My tip? Move on! If a guy is scared off by your affection, then he is not the right guy for you.
This does NOT mean you need to be less affectionate or show your emotions any less, you simply haven’t met the right guy yet.
3) There’s someone else in the picture
There are some guys who are very upfront about their intentions; they want to hook up, nothing more.
Others have feelings but simply don’t have the confidence to approach you.
So, they hook up with you first to keep their options open.
The problem comes when there’s another girl in the picture.
Maybe he’s seeing someone else. Maybe he has a relationship that’s about to end but he’s not ready to settle down.
Or he’s hung up on a crush or even an ex.
Whatever the situation, there’s another girl in the picture and she came first, regardless of whether he promised you anything.
There are many reasons why a guy might ignore you after hooking up with you, but this is one of the most common.
If this is the situation, try to move on with your life and don’t linger on it too long. There’s nothing you can do to change this situation.
Once you realize that there is another girl in the picture and you know they are in a committed relationship, you might want to let her know in some way or another.
You see, if you didn’t know about her existence, it’s not your fault, but once you know, stop pursuing things with this guy and instead, try to let the girlfriend know that her partner is cheating.
And if it’s a girl he simply likes? Then there’s also nothing you can do. His heart is elsewhere.
4) Hooking up made you lose your appeal
Sometimes, after a guy hooks up with you, he might simply find you less appealing.
There are a number of reasons why this might happen. It could be that after hooking up with you, he suddenly realized you’re not his type.
It could be that he suddenly discovered you have a trait he doesn’t like in a woman.
But it could be that you don’t have the same appeal that you once did.
Whatever the reason, sometimes hooking up will make you lose your appeal to a guy.
It doesn’t mean anything about you as a person. Some guys are strange like that.
Think about it this way: something is very desirable when you can’t have it.
Once you have access to it, however, it might lose its appeal.
Some guys approach hookups that way. You are appealing as long as he has to work hard to get you, but once he does, he loses interest.
5) It was just a hookup and nothing more
Sometimes, after hooking up, a guy may realize it was just a hookup and nothing more. He might realize that you’re not worth pursuing further in his eyes.
He might discover that you don’t have anything in common.
Or he might realize that you’re not what he’s looking for.
Whatever the reason, sometimes guys simply realize it was just a hookup.
Now: if that is the case, do yourself a favor and move on from him.
Trust me, nothing good comes from hanging onto someone who isn’t interested in you.
If it was just a hookup for him, believe him when he tells you this.
The right guy in your life will let you know that he wants you, and only you.
6) He has limiting beliefs about relationships
Sometimes, a guy who ignores you after hooking up with you has limiting beliefs about relationships.
He may believe that all relationships are pointless.
Perhaps he may believe that relationships are nothing but trouble.
He may believe that all relationships end in heartbreak.
Whatever his beliefs, he may think that any relationship would be doomed from the start.
The best thing you can do is try to understand them.
If you can get inside his head and understand where these beliefs come from, you can make them less limiting.
However, it’s not your job to heal this random dude’s commitment issues.
You see, if he is not ready to pursue anything with you, let him be.
His limiting beliefs are standing in his own way, but that doesn’t mean you need to fix him.
7) He simply doesn’t care to know you better
This one can be hard to accept. It’s not uncommon for guys to simply not care to know you better.
They’re simply not interested in a relationship.
This one can be especially hard to deal with if you feel like you really like the guy you’re hooking up with.
You may really want to know him better and see where things go. But he may simply not care enough to do the same.
While this may hurt, it is a painful truth – some guys just want the sex, and they aren’t interested in you as a person.
That’s why he might ignore you after hooking up.
Don’t be surprised if this kind of guy will text you weeks later at 2am what you are up to.
8) You aren’t his type
Sometimes, a guy who ignores you after hooking up with you simply isn’t attracted to you.
He doesn’t want to pursue a relationship with you because he simply isn’t attracted to you in that way.
You can be the nicest, sweetest person in the world but if he’s not attracted to you, nothing will happen.
Now, you may ask yourself, why would he sleep with me if he’s not attracted to me?
And that’s an excellent question, it doesn’t really make sense, does it?
Here’s the thing though, some guys really sleep with anyone they can, regardless of attraction.
If that sounds crazy to you, yeah, I get it, I think so, too, but it’s true!
9) You have different expectations
Sometimes, people simply have different expectations of a relationship.
This can often be because people don’t talk about their expectations.
One person may expect a short-term relationship. The other may expect something longer term.
This can lead to a situation where a person ignores you after hooking up because you have different expectations.
When a guy ignores you after hooking up, it can be hard not to feel rejected and hurt. It can be difficult not to overthink what happened and why a guy would do this to you.
However, the reason for him ignoring you is most likely just that he has different expectations of what this connection between you is.
10) He got too drunk and can’t remember what happened
Let’s be honest here. Alcohol is a very common factor in casual hookups.
It’s not so common for it to be involved in a guy asking you out on a date, though.
After a night of heavy drinking, it’s not uncommon for a guy to wake up with no memory of what happened the night before.
He may not remember how you met, how you got back to his house, or even what happened between the two of you.
He may be worried about what happened between the two of you or simply doesn’t care to remember.
Maybe he’s worried about what you’re going to think of him or what you might do next.
There are a number of reasons why a guy might be ignoring you after hooking up with you and not remembering what happened.
The best thing you can do in this situation is to accept it for what it is and move on.
You see, if this guy can’t remember anything that happened and you have his number, you might want to shoot him a text and say something like “Hey, I enjoyed my time last night”.
If he doesn’t answer? Try to move on. Life is too short to wait around for casual hookups to happen again.
He doesn’t remember or doesn’t care enough to reach out to you? That’s not the person you need in your life, trust me.
No matter how great the sex was, you deserve someone who is head over heels in love with you and wants to take you out on a date.
It will be okay
When a guy ignores you after hooking up, it can be easy to blame yourself and feel like you did something wrong.
It can be easy to feel like you’re not good enough and that you’re not what he’s looking for.
You might even feel like there’s something wrong with you.
But there isn’t. It’s simply a case of him not being ready for a relationship and having different expectations of your connection.
Would you like to change that?
If you do, then relationship guru James Bauer can help you out.
He has developed a fascinating concept that finally explains how men really think and feel in relationships.
And it’s something most women have never even heard of.
According to James Bauer, men don’t actually need a lot to feel content in their relationships. In fact, what they need has nothing to do with sex.
Men have certain innate drivers. And when a woman comes along and triggers them, it causes a powerful response. The result is a man who loves harder, commits wholeheartedly, and truly dedicates himself to the relationship.
So, how can you trigger the hero instinct in this guy?
The easiest thing to do is to watch this simple and genuine video by James Bauer.
The truth is, once you understand how the hero instinct works, there’s no telling what heights your relationship can reach.
So if you want to give him what he truly wants from you, make sure to check out James Bauer’s excellent video. In it, he reveals the exact texts and phrases you can use straight away.