What to do when your boyfriend ignores your texts

We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. Read our affiliate disclosure.

So, your boyfriend has stopped answering your texts, and you feel like you’re being ignored.

Unfortunately, everyone who has a partner has experienced such a thing at one point or another.

It’s natural to want to try to figure out what’s going on and to try to fix the situation. At least, that’s how I reacted when my boyfriend started to ignore my texts a while ago.

Whether you’re angry, hurt by his actions, confused about what’s happening, or lost for words, here are 12 things you can do if your boyfriend is ignoring your texts.

1)  Stay calm

You might be surprised by this advice, but the first thing you need to do is stay calm. In fact, this is probably the most important piece of advice I can give you.

Why so?

Because anger is your worst enemy when trying to get your boyfriend to forgive you or respond positively.

Of course, it’s almost impossible to maintain this kind of calm whenever you’re expecting an answer but your boyfriend simply ignores you.

But if you manage to keep your cool, the chances that the situation will calm down and that he will respond in a positive way are much higher. 

This is because if you’re angry or offended by his behavior, there will be no room for any form of forgiveness or change.

Instead, if you’re angry, there’s a good chance that he won’t even read your text or at least won’t feel like replying positively.

That’s exactly what happened to me when I noticed that my boyfriend was simply ignoring my texts.

I got so upset and angry that I decided to end my relationship with him. But you know what?

As he noticed that I had such a negative reaction to his behavior, he continued to ignore my texts.

This means that if you react in an aggressive way when your boyfriend starts ignoring you, you are likely to increase the chances that he will ignore your texts even more and end up not replying at all.

So, try to calm yourself down initially and follow the next steps to show him that you’re not going to let him ignore you.

2) Try to understand the reasons behind his behavior

Do you know what the most rational thing you can do if your boyfriend ignores you?

It’s trying to understand what might have caused his behavior. In other words, ask yourself why he started ignoring you at all.

The truth is that there could be any number of reasons why your boyfriend is ignoring your texts. 

Maybe he’s going through a tough time at work or school, or he’s dealing with personal issues. 

If that’s what happens, then the fact that he’s ignoring your texts might not seem like a big deal in the end. 

But even if he’s ignoring your texts for a completely different reason, the process of trying to understand his motivations will give you a much better understanding of what’s going on. 

And that is certainly something that will help you deal with the situation in a much better way.

In either case, it’s important to try to put yourself in his shoes and understand where he’s coming from.

So, try to assess the reasons he might be ignoring your texts, and if you’re not sure of what’s happening, ask him, or figure it out yourself.

For instance, if he says that he’s busy and doesn’t have the time to answer your texts instead of reading them, then it’s likely that he really has something on his mind. 

It’s true that he probably does have other things to do at times, but it’s almost certain that if you ask him about it, later on, he will probably tell you about the situation that is bothering him right now.

What can you do if nothing is going on in his life and he has just decided to ignore your texts?

On that occasion, you have a right to feel hurt and offended. And you might even cut off contact with him until he apologizes.

But if you notice that he’s having a tough time and isn’t in the mood to talk, try to be compassionate and forgiving. Maybe his mood will improve later on and he will want to talk to you.

3) Focus on the way you communicate with him

Okay, your boyfriend is ignoring your texts and that’s a huge problem. But have you ever thought about the way you respond when you don’t receive any answer from him? 

If you’re like me, you probably tried to send as many texts and calls and tried to call him at least once without any reply.

And if by any chance he did answer, the conversation was most likely very tense and not very pleasant. Or maybe angry and aggressive. 

Well, if that’s the case, you need to think about changing the way you communicate with your boyfriend in such a situation.

This is because if he keeps ignoring your texts but you keep doing everything possible to reach him (and even more), then he will probably end up on his defense.

So, stop reaching out to him whenever you notice that communication between you two doesn’t flow the way it should. 

What should you do instead?

Focus on yourself!

I know this might sound confusing but that’s the thing that helped me to better understand the reasons behind my boyfriend’s behavior. 

Why? Because at that moment in time, he was actually the one that was more focused on me and how I was feeling. 

And if he was not able to do so, it’s a clear indicator that he wasn’t thinking much about me or my feelings.

This is something I learned from the renowned shaman Rudá Iandê. 

Based on his perspective, the relationship we have with ourselves is key to getting over toxic relationships and being able to build a happy and fulfilling relationship.

As Rudá explains in his mind-blowing video about Love and Intimacy, most of the issues we face in our love lives come from the complicated inner relationship we have with ourselves.

And you know what?

You can’t possibly fix the external problem without first assessing what’s inside.

That’s why you should focus on the way you communicate with him and explore the reasons for his ignorance.

That way, you’ll be able to enhance the intimacy level between you and improve your communication style.

By the way, if you also want to receive some practical solutions and outstanding insights from the modern-day shaman, don’t hesitate to watch Rudá Iandê’s free masterclass.

Check out the free video here.

4) Communicate openly and honestly

Let me ask you a question before we move on to the next point.

Are you aware of the importance of clear and honest communication between the two of you? 

According to scientific studies, communication style has a significant impact on the harmony of romantic relationships.

And indeed, the research also suggests that it’s a common tendency among couples who stay together for a long time to have a communication style that is more open and authentic.

So guess what?

If your boyfriend ignores your texts, the best thing you can do is work on improving your communication skills.

The thing is that it’s important to communicate this to him if you’re feeling hurt or confused by his behavior.

Try to have an open and honest conversation about how you’re feeling and what you need from him. It may be that he’s not intentionally ignoring your texts and simply needs some guidance on how to be there for you.

That way, you will be able to better understand what’s happening and why he’s ignoring your texts. And that is key in order to dealing with the situation in a way that will allow both of you to feel comfortable.

And don’t forget about talking about his behavior with him because attitude and communication are two sides of the same coin, after all.

And an open and honest conversation is always better than sending angry texts and calling him to make him feel guilty.

5) Reach out and make sure he’s okay

As I mentioned above, one of the most common reasons why your boyfriend might be ignoring your texts is that he has other things on his mind

And sometimes, these situations are very difficult to deal with because we start to feel that our boyfriend doesn’t care about us or that he’s not interested in the relationship. 

But the good news is that there’s a simple thing you can do to find out whether or not he has any excuse. And this thing is reaching out.

It could be that he’s dealing with a stressful situation that has nothing to do with you, so it’s important to check in and make sure he’s doing alright. 

Just try to talk to him and show some compassion. Remember that toxicity is a two-way street, and both of you are responsible for the situation. 

So, even if he’s the one who ignores the text right now, you might be guilty as well. So, first, make sure that he’s okay, and only afterward can you start to push him to talk more.

6) Understand his needs and desires

Yes, people do ignore us sometimes, and none of us finds it easy to accept this as a fact. However, have you ever tried to understand the reasons behind his decision to ignore you?

You know, sometimes it could be that he doesn’t have any particular reason and he’s simply busy with something or that he feels an overwhelming need to disconnect from the world. 

Just take a moment to think about all the possible reasons why he might be ignoring your texts. And then make sure that you’re able to communicate with him about what’s going on.

It might be that his job needs more attention right now, and maybe you can help him by making sure everything is in order at home and that there’s nothing else you want or need from him. 

And if this doesn’t help, try to understand where you might be going wrong as well.

In either case, you can’t solve this issue without understanding his needs and desires, right?

So, you need to understand why your boyfriend is ignoring your texts. This can help you figure out what you should do in order to fix the situation.

But, how can you understand his needs and desires

Well, here are two steps that might help:

  • Ask him what he needs – it could be that he just needs a little extra support and understanding. Talk to him and let him know that you’re there for him and that you care.
  • Look at the situation objectively – stop looking at things through a very personal lens. If you do this, you’ll be able to distinguish between a situation and your feelings and emotions.

That way, you’ll manage to stop the drama and will simply be able to talk about what’s true.

7) Give him some space

Let’s face it: every person requires some space from time to time, and this shouldn’t be a problem.

And this might be exactly what’s going on with your boyfriend: he needs some space from you.

In fact, you can’t necessarily control the amount of time he needs or the way he allows you to give him space. 

Oh sure, if he’s never ever allowed you this in your entire relationship, it might be a bit hard for you to understand why he’s currently ignoring your texts. 

But rest assured: this is not unusual at all, and just because it’s different from what’s happened in the past doesn’t mean that it has to mean something bad.

Still, it’s also true that he might need some time to himself to work through whatever he’s dealing with. 

That’s why you should respect his need for space and try not to take it personally. 

It’s important to remember that he might also need some time out of everything so that he can find his own way in life and deal with whatever is bothering him.

And to do all these things, it’s important for you to give him some space.

You know, sometimes people need some space from the relationship because they don’t feel comfortable with it anymore.

They want to get away from their feelings and emotions because they’re stressing them out. 

Imagine what you would do if you wanted to be on your own for some time and your boyfriend started to judge you because you don’t answer his texts or if he started to make a big deal out of it. 

So, here is the answer to this situation: give him some space and don’t take it personally. He’s not ignoring you; he’s just trying to make it through his day, and this is natural.

8) Be patient with him

One more important thing that I’ve realized after being ignored by my boyfriend for a while is that you need to be patient.

You might be extremely upset about the fact that he’s ignoring your texts, but you need to think about why he does this and not just react in a very dramatic way. 

Ask yourself: is this a situation I can control or change? And if it isn’t, do I really need to get all worked up?

Of course, I’m not saying that you should just accept things as they are and do nothing at all. 

But the best thing that you can do is try to understand why your boyfriend is ignoring you and look for possible solutions instead of thinking of giving up on the relationship or fighting with him all the time.

Why am I saying this?

Because it’s possible that your boyfriend is going through a difficult time, and he may need a little extra time and patience to work through it. 

That’s why you need to be patient. Just remind yourself that this too shall pass and that you can get through this together.

And remember:

It doesn’t take long to heal things between two people who care about each other. And if you’re willing to give it enough time, you’ll solve the issue in no time.

9) Try not to analyze it too much

Want to know what my next suggestion is whenever you notice that your boyfriend isn’t answering you? 

Well, I think that it’s a good idea to try not to analyze things too much. I can tell you from experience that analyzing things can be a bit exhausting and draining.

The thing is that overthinking never helps in times of feeling ignored. Instead, it makes you feel stressed out and upset.

Now, here is what you can do to make sure that you’re not overanalyzing things: take a step back from everything and ask yourself how you’re feeling about it.

Is it something deep and complex, or is it just a few simple facts? Does your boyfriend really mean everything he says or does, or could he just have been a bit reckless with his words?

If your boyfriend is genuinely ignoring you all the time because he’s insecure, the best thing that you can do is try your best to accept him for who he is.

The best thing you can do is simply forget about everything and focus on something else. This will make it easier for you to think about the present moment instead of getting lost in the past or future.

I’m sure that the best thing you can do after noticing that your boyfriend has stopped responding is not to over-analyze the situation. 

When you over-analyze things, you can easily lose yourself and your calm in a sea of never-ending thoughts. In psychology, we call this “rumination,” and it means that you’re going to be stuck with whatever is worrying you for a long time.

And this is never good, especially when you have something that’s bothering you. As a matter of fact, rumination is negatively associated with psychological well-being, meaning that overthinking your boyfriend’s behavior might reduce your quality of life.

The best thing that you can do is to simply focus on calming down and putting things into perspective.

This is the best way to keep yourself from getting caught up in overanalyzing things. And once again: it will not take very long for him to come back to you.

And if this doesn’t help? Then, well, maybe it’s time to take some time out of the relationship and get yourself fixed so that things will become better again.

10) Send short and sweet texts while you wait for a response

Now let’s focus on more practical solutions that you can apply when you find yourself in a tough situation where your boyfriend doesn’t respond to your texts.

And the first thing that I suggest you do is to send short and sweet texts while you wait for your boyfriend to respond.

When people are in a hurry or have something else to do, they often don’t have time to read long messages or send long replies. And in times like these, it’s just better to keep it as short and simple as possible.

For example, if your boyfriend doesn’t answer your text messages because he’s on his way somewhere, then the best thing that you can do is send him a text message saying, “Hey! I just wanted to let you know that I miss you and that I love you.

Just send short and sweet texts while you wait for a response

You see, at first, I was sending long messages like, “Hey, are you mad at me? Are we okay?” or “Can we talk about it?”.

But then I realized that my boyfriend wasn’t replying because he just didn’t want to talk about it. 

The only thing that mattered to him was picking up his phone and seeing that I was asking him something.

Don’t get me wrong: he didn’t like the fact that I had noticed that he was ignoring me. But he didn’t know how to respond.

But once I started sending him sweet text messages even while he was ignoring me, he started responding to me, and I was finally able to solve the issue. 

Long story short: my sweet messages allowed him to realize how much I missed him and how much I loved him.

11) Suggest getting together

Other than sending sweet text messages, you can also take another constructive step and suggest to your boyfriend that you two meet up when you both have some free time.

I mean, isn’t it the best thing you can do to overcome his ignorance and make sure that you two are back together again?

There is no doubt that it’s a great way to let him know how much you care about him, what your relationship means to you, and how much you miss being with each other.

And that’s why I suggest you take advantage of every chance to get together with him when he’s not ignoring you. There is no doubt that it will make things easier for both of you.

So, here’s the thing:

If your boyfriend is avoiding your text messages, he may be feeling disconnected from you. Suggest getting together in person to talk things out. 

Maybe he’s been ignoring you because he’s been working non-stop on his new project, or perhaps he’s just busy with homework or something else.

That’s why it can be a good idea to suggest having a little get-together.

While the day is still young and there are still plenty of hours left before nightfall, this is your chance to finally have a conversation with him. 

12) Set boundaries

And finally, if you’ve followed all of the steps that I’ve just discussed but still find yourself struggling to get back together with your boyfriend, then maybe it’s time for you to set some boundaries.

That’s right: if your boyfriend is ignoring you and refusing to listen to anything you have to say, it’s time to make some changes in your life.

But what kinds of changes are we talking about? 

Well, if your boyfriend’s behavior is causing you pain or stress, it’s important to set boundaries. 

Decide what you are and are not willing to tolerate, and communicate these boundaries to your boyfriend. 

If he continues to ignore your texts or otherwise disrespect your boundaries, it may be time to reevaluate the relationship.

Set boundaries with regard to social media: if the problem is that your boyfriend doesn’t respond because he’s on his phone all the time, then maybe it’s time for you to limit his social media use and free yourself from this toxic relationship.

In fact, the best thing you can do on social media is to turn off your Instagram or Snapchat notifications. The good news is that most mobile apps will allow you to turn off the notifications so that you won’t get distracted by them.

If your boyfriend doesn’t respect your boundaries and continues to ignore you, it’s possible that he doesn’t care about you as much as you think he does.

And if this is the case, then maybe it’s time for you to let go of him and move on with your life.

Bottom line

All in all, if your boyfriend is ignoring your texts, it’s natural to feel hurt and confused. 

However, by taking the time to understand the situation, communicating openly and honestly, seeking outside help if needed, and taking care of yourself, you can work through this challenging time and hopefully find a resolution that works for both of you.

I hope I’ve helped you understand why guys ignore text messages and what steps to take when it happens.

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

Click here to get started.

The above link will give you $50 off your first session - an exclusive offer for Love Connection readers.