Not everyone is as big a fan of no contact as you are. The absence of contact can be frustrating for someone who would otherwise feel that they’re being abandoned during the process.
So, when will your ex miss you during no contact?
This post will give you an idea of what to expect and when.
Factors that affect how much your ex will miss you.
There are several factors that affect how much your ex misses you during no contact. This includes time and place, who your ex is, and what their thoughts are about the relationship.
Here are 3 factors to consider when trying to answer the question, “how much will your ex miss you” during no contact.
Time is one of the biggest factors that affect how much your ex misses you during no contact.
Think about this for a moment:
- How long did you date your ex?
- How long ago did you break up?
- How long have they not heard from you?
The longer the relationship, the longer it will take your ex to move on. Similarly, the longer the time since the breakup, the longer it will take your ex to start moving on. You should consider this when wondering how many contacts during no contact are too much.
And, of course, the longer it takes your ex to move on, the more they will miss you.
Moving on can be a long process, and it will take time.
2) How your ex views the relationship
How your ex views the relationship has a significant impact on how much they miss you during no contact.
If you and your ex were together for a long time, then it’s entirely possible that they view the relationship very differently than you do.
This makes sense when you think about it.
We all have different ways of looking at relationships. We all have different things that we value in a relationship, but we may not value the same things as our ex does.
For example, you may value being able to talk about anything with your partner. You and your ex may have talked about anything. But, your ex may value something else more highly in the relationship, such as the way you looked when you were together.
The more important the thing is to your ex, the more they will miss it.
This can also lead to a feeling of emptiness. You may not realize how much you value the thing until it’s not there. I personally think no contact is a chance to reflect on the relationship and find out where things went wrong.
Maybe you really want to get back with your ex, find out ways to fix things, and put things right again. Keep reading if you’re trying to get back with an ex. You’ll find lots of tips that you can use to get back together and really fix things.
3) How busy your ex is
How busy your ex is can have a big impact on how much they miss you.
Your ex is most likely going to be very occupied with a lot of things. They’ll be getting on with their lives and trying to process a breakup at the same time, which can be really hard.
The truth is:
We tend to keep ourselves busy when we’re feeling down. This is because we’re not just trying to distract ourselves because we want to distract ourselves. We’re actually trying to distract ourselves because the feeling itself is uncomfortable and it’s easier to do something rather than sit with the pain.
If your ex has a lot of things going on, then they’re likely going to be distracted by those things and avoid dealing with the emptiness inside them.
It’s not like they have made a decision to keep themselves busy. They may just be avoiding dealing with the emptiness by filling their time.
When will my ex miss me during no contact?
Now that we’ve looked at the factors that affect how much your ex will miss you during no contact, we can answer the question:
When will your ex miss you during no contact?
Here’s what you should expect in terms of ‘misses’:
- The longer the time since the breakup, or the longer the relationship was, then the more misses you can expect to get.
- The more important the thing is to your ex, then the more misses you can expect as well.
- The busier they are, then the fewer misses you can expect.
According to this, it’s fair to say that you can expect your ex will miss you during no contact in the early days. As more time passes, as they start to get on with their life again and as the thing that used to bring you together is less present in your ex’s life, then the misses will start to come fewer and farther between.
They may even stop altogether after a while. This is because the busier your ex is, the more occupied with other things they’ll be and less occupied with missing you.
During no contact, they’ll feel the hunger and possibility that comes with not knowing what’s coming next.
The feeling will pass when they are no longer in a desperate state of missing you. If you don’t see this ‘hunger’ then it means that you haven’t moved on. You probably still want to get back with your ex, which is completely normal.
So let’s move on to the next part.
How to get back with your ex during no contact
1) Get them to remember the good times
If you’re wondering how to get back with your ex during no contact, then here’s one tip that you can use now:
For a long time after a breakup, your ex will probably still have fond memories of the good times you had together and this is good news for you. If they still have fond memories of the relationship, it means that there’s still a chance to start things up again.
Those warm, fuzzy feelings will help them to remember how much they missed having you in their life and how good it was when you were together.
I also use this tip to help me get back with an ex. I send them a simple text message that says something like, “I’m thinking of you. Remember how good we were together?”
Even if they don’t get back to you right away, this will still have an impact on them and make them think about the good times.
Want to know the best part?
He suddenly has a reason to get back in touch with you. Even if they don’t consciously process why they want to get back with you, the seed has been planted and will start to grow.
I learned these strategies from Brad Browning, who has helped thousands of men and women get their exes back. He gives out free training on how to get back with an ex, how to stay positive after a breakup, how to feel great about your body and how it feels to be single.
2) Figure out how valuable the thing is to them
This one is a little bit different than the one before.
In this case, we’re not using something that your ex will remember to make them long for you. Instead, we’re going to use something that they remember about you.
I call this if-then scripting because we are scripting if-then statements. The structure looks like this:
- “If” (when) a certain thing happens, then (you should do something).
You can use this time during no contact to figure out what the important things are to your ex. The things that they can’t stop thinking about, that fill their thoughts and that remind them of you.
Then you can create an if-then script for when these thoughts pop up in their head.
For example, if they’re thinking of you, then give them a call or send them a message. Or if their gut is telling them to ask for your forgiveness and apologize for breaking things off, then give yourself permission to ask for their forgiveness and apologize.
The specific script is up to you, but the idea is the same. Use the no-contact time wisely and use the time to figure out what was important to your ex about you before you got together.
3) Connect with them on a personal level
This one is an important one.
In order to get back with your ex, you need to be able to connect with them on a personal level first. The reason we want to do this is that when you’re in no contact, there’s no emotional connection that can be made.
If you don’t have an emotional connection with your ex, then you won’t be able to convince them that they still have a chance at getting back together.
Here are some ways to make the emotional connection:
- Reach out to them one last time to tell them how much you miss them. It’s not too late to do this.
- Keep a hobby that they can be part of.
- Go to places that are a part of the old relationship.
- Play with your ex’s pet.
- Send them a thank you note for the good times that you had together.
- Get back in touch with old friends from the past.
- Focus on your own life and what is missing from it. This will help you to be able to think about your ex without getting hurt by it or putting too much pressure on yourself.
No contact is a chance for both parties to recover from the breakup. It’s a chance for you to get clear on why your relationship didn’t work out and a chance for your ex to figure out what they want to do next.
Chances your ex will miss you are high in the beginning, but those chances will decline over time. This is because the things that remind your ex of you will fade away and they will have more time to think about their own lives again.
In order to get back with your ex during no contact, you must first figure out what it was that made them miss you so much in the beginning. You also must connect with them on a personal level so that they see there is still a connection between you two.
I’ve mentioned these strategies by Brad Browning above, and if you want to learn and use them in your own breakup, then click here.
Just remember that you can get back with your ex only if you feel a strong connection between the two of you. Even if things get up and running, it’s not a guarantee that the relationship will last.
So what do YOU think?
Are you going to use one of these strategies to do your own no-contact breakup? Where do you go from here? Are there any other strategies out there that you use in step with getting back with your ex during no contact?
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.