When will he come back to me? 16 big signs he’s coming back

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Your love was something else so you’re sure that he’s going to return to you one day—you just don’t know when.

But while you consider yourself a patient person, it’s simply agonizing to not be able to do anything but wait.

To help set your heart at ease, here are 16 things you absolutely need to know if you want him to come back to you.

He’ll come back sooner than you think when…

1) He feels worthy of you

People are flawed, and we all have to live with that fact but sometimes these flaws are just too big to ignore.

He could have glaring relationship flaws like having a bad temper or gaslighting, or he could have personal flaws like being unable to clean after his own mess.

Maybe your break-up made him realize just how much growing up he has to do if he wants to be the right man for you.

A realization such as this might just push him to become a better person, so that when he comes back into your life and begins a new relationship with you, he’d be the partner you deserve—and more.

2) Things are finally looking up for him

When you love someone, the last thing you want is to be a burden. Sometimes people let go of their partners because of that desire.

Maybe he’s one of those people, and that he had let you go because he didn’t want to drag you down with him, or to keep you from reaching your full potential.

But now things have taken a turn for the better. He did his best, and now he has lost weight, has a home and a stable job. The only thing missing in his life is you.

Now that he’s no longer a burden and he thinks he’s something to offer you, he might want to try to reach out to you again.

3) He’s found his purpose in life

It can be incredibly hard to live life when you’re aimless and empty, without a greater purpose to strive for. Relationships can sometimes put someone in this state.

If you have a stronger personality than him, you might have unknowingly overshadowed him and his dreams that’s why he decided to break up.

It might take him some time to be completely sure of himself, but should you find him being more self-assured and confident in what he wants out of life, it might not be long before he comes back to you.

4) He starts giving you the look of love

When you’re together, you often catch him looking at you. Sometimes you might even catch him smiling before he looks away.

And it’s not just an ordinary stare, it’s a stare that you know too well—it’s the stare of love. Maybe he likes how you look, or maybe he’s trying to figure out how to approach you.

It’s quite possible that he’s looking at you because he wants to talk to you. Or, if you’re already on talking terms, he’s thinking of talking to you about something he’s nervous about.

Like asking if he could be together again.

5) He begins to hang out with you more often

Just because he’s no longer yours doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s suddenly a stranger.

But there’s a difference between simply being casual friends and him always being around you like you’re his favorite person again.

There are many reasons why he might act like this, from simply wanting to know and understand you better to being jealous and afraid that someone will steal you away.

But the most likely reason is that he’s warming you up before he’d ask you out again.

6) He talks your ear off when you’re together

You swear that he talks with you more now than he did back when you were together.

You might find it annoying but it’s actually quite endearing because if he acts like this it’s probably because he wants to establish a deeper connection with you again.

He might be nervous about the idea of talking about getting together again and keeps on beating around the bush as a result.

If so, then all you have to do is return the same kind of enthusiasm and he’s back in your hands.

7) He finally has the guts to talk to you

He knows that he likes you, and wants to get back together with you. But it’s not always easy to approach an ex who you’re still in love with.

And even if the two of you are already on speaking terms, trying to talk about getting together again is even more daunting.

What if he comes and tries to talk to you about giving your relationship another shot, only for you to tell him that you already have a boyfriend, or are already engaged? What if you’re simply not interested anymore?

Even if it isn’t true, he might not know better, and the pain of having his fears confirmed will keep him from asking.

When he conquers these fears that hold him back, however, it might not be long before he’ll try to come back to you.

8) He keeps asking you about your love life

Assuming you never really had any problems talking with each other, a more obvious sign would be if he were to suddenly start asking intimate questions like your love life.

It might or might not be a straightforward “are you still single?”, but in the end his questions are driven by a desire to know if you’re still available.

And should you give him the hint that, yes, you’re single and that you’re waiting for him, he might just act on it and try to return to you again.

9) He stalks you on social media

You know that he’s paying attention to what you say and do on social media. He would like and share posts of yours. And when you go talk in real life, he’d comment on your latest status or on that pic you uploaded a year ago.

This can, admittedly, be a bit creepy when taken too far. But it does show that he’s still interested in you and, let’s be honest, you probably stalk him too from time to time.

If he went on a liking spree, you can be sure that his return is near!

10) When his hero instinct manifests for you

Were you a hundred bucks short for rent? He’s there to the rescue!

He found out that you’re having a hard time with your project? He offered to help.

You might not be a couple anymore, but he still has your back. He still cares about you, and wants to see you happy and doing well.

This is his hero instinct in action.

Even if you are not ready to be together again, and even if there’s still some tension from your break-up between the two of you, he isn’t willing to turn a blind eye to your needs.

He probably wants to be together with you again badly and would jump at the first opportunity to start again with you.

11) He’s been happier lately when you’re near him

You’ve been noticing lately that he just can’t help but smile and laugh a bit more loudly around you than before.

He may try to hide it, but joy is one of those things that will manifest in one way or another no matter how hard you try to hide it.

Maybe he had gotten over the pain of the break-up and whatever had caused it in the first place, and now remembers just how much he loves you as a person. It’s a lovely thing when love and happiness overpowers negativity like this.

Assuming that you’ve resolved the bigger issues between the two of you, him being happy when he’s near you could be a sign that he wants to try again.

12) He suddenly couldn’t stop talking about you

A good way you can tell that he just can’t get you out of his head is to hear him talking about you at every single opportunity he has.

While you’re both eating a box of donuts with your colleagues, he’d say that you bake better donuts. While your friends are planning to go camping, he’d talk about the time you got lost in the wilderness.

He doesn’t even need to have you nearby for him to begin talking about you and just how great you are. You’re simply always on his mind.

Maybe his friends would be touring an art gallery, and he’d take the time to say that you also paint and that you’re more than good enough to earn a spot in the gallery.

You could say he’s positively lovestruck—and given the chance, he will most likely try to come back with you.

13) He tries to show off to you

Like a peacock spreading its tail feathers before a mate, he does his best to make himself look good when you’re nearby.

He might try to cook something especially delicious for you, or try to be as informative as possible when you ask him a question. And he would, without fail, do his best to be well-dressed. He might even wear the perfume he knows you’d like.

Acknowledging his efforts would send him the right message— that he has caught your attention. Whether that would be enough to make him bold enough to talk is another matter entirely.

But for what it’s worth, it does tell you that he’s still very much interested in you.

14) He’s been fixing your non-negotiable issues

You had to break up because life took you to different places and a long-distance relationship just couldn’t cut it for the two of you. But now he’s back in town and, not only that, he’s moved in somewhere close to you!

Or maybe you broke up with him because you just can’t settle for someone who is careless with their money, and now you see him trying to be better at handling his finances. He even hired a financial advisor!

He’s trying to deal with his own side of the non-negotiables that have driven you apart and it might just be because he wants to be with you again.

15) He expresses his regrets

It can’t get any more straightforward than to have him share his regrets with you.

He might tell you how much he misses you and how he wishes your breakup never happened. Maybe it was a rash decision that only happened because neither of you were in a good state of mind.

It could also have been deliberate. Maybe he loves you like no other, but he has seen personal issues that either or both of you should work through.

16) He has connected with you spiritually

There’s a spiritual bond between you and him, and as the day when he’ll return to you draws nearer, this bond will become alive with energy and emotion.

You might feel this in having increased synchronicity with him, and by dreaming of him more often. Messages from the universe, such as seeing angel numbers will become much more present in your life. You might even feel sudden swings of emotion, especially when he’s near you.

The more he thinks of you, and the more he ponders on whether he should make his move or not, the more signs you will feel.

If you notice these signs get more frequent, watch out! He’s getting ready and is about to approach you.

What you can do to encourage him

1) Be the best person you can be

Whether you’ve always been the better person in the relationship or if you’re the one who needs to fix yourself up, it helps to simply be the best person you can be.

Don’t wallow too heavily on how bad you’ve had it or let the pain and anxiety in being separated from him make you act poorly.

If he’s still interested in you, he’d be keeping track of who you are as a person. If you continue to be someone he’d want to be with, then he will end up admiring you more and more.

2) Be friendly and welcoming

It’s natural to feel a little bitter or nervous when you’re near him. But don’t let those feelings get to you and instead try your best to be friendly.

By making him feel welcome in your presence, you encourage him to talk to you more openly. Ease his anxieties, and he’ll find it easier to talk about subjects like your relationship together.

On the other hand, if you let your bitterness or nervousness take command, you’ll only end up pushing him away.

3) Be his best friend

When he needs something, try to see if you can help him get it. If he seems to be a bit short on encouragement, then give him some!

Be his best friend and show him your support. Build a relationship together that is satisfying for both of you, even if there isn’t any romance involved.

Being best friends with your lover makes your relationship that much stronger and richer.

Make him feel comfortable and warm around you, and he might just confide in you.

4) Don’t play games

If he’s still with another girl, don’t try to destroy their relationship so that he’ll break up with her. He won’t be in the mood to be serious with anyone after that and, if he learns that you’re involved, he’ll probably leave you behind.

If you see him being hesitant to open up to you, don’t think to “encourage” him by flirting with another guy before him and making him jealous.

These games might work in the short term, but they’re only going to cause long term harm to your relationship and make him less inclined to trust in and confide in you.

5) Raise the subject

If you truly feel like you’re ready to be together again, you can try being a bit more proactive and be the one to raise the subject first.

Had he feared that you were not interested in him that way, or that you were already taken, you taking the initiative would soothe his fears.

It would break the ice, if just a little bit, and pave the way for more open discussion.


There are many possible reasons why he isn’t already here with you. Sadly, most of the reasons would be out of your control to influence.

But so long as you put in the effort to make it easy for him to open up when the time comes, you can rest easy knowing that you’ve done your part.

However, if you’ve seen most of the signs mentioned above though, get ready. Your man is about to enter your life again. And you’ll be able to say that indeed, love is sweeter the second time around.

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

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