When to ask a girl to be your girlfriend: 15 practical tips

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If you’re here, reading this, it means you’re probably asking yourself the following questions:

Is there a right time to ask a girl to be my girlfriend? 

Or, can I just go with my gut feeling about this? 

I did too and this is what I learned:

Relationships are complicated and so are women. So, going with your intuition might not always work. 

The following 15 practical tips will definitely work, though:

1) Ask a girl to be your girlfriend after 5 or 6 dates

In 2015, Time Out conducted a dating survey of 11 thousand participants which showed that people decide to go exclusive after 6 dates, and usually spend no more than 2 months in the dating stage. 

But wait, there’s more:

According to another study conducted by Groupon in 2017 on fewer people – 2000 American adults – the average number of dates before a relationship gets discussed is 5.

So, what does this mean? 

It means that if you wait longer than 6 dates, you’re definitely breaking the statistics. Which, on the other hand, might not be a bad thing if your situation is different.

The main idea here is to not rush things. 

So, tip 1 out of 15 is: 

Try to get to know a girl over 6 dates before asking her to be your girlfriend.

2) Ask her to be your girlfriend when communication becomes consistent

Here’s another practical tip for when to ask a girl to be your girlfriend:

When the communication between the two of you becomes consistent. 

How so?

You see, communication is essential in a relationship. Whether you are friends or dating, communication is the key to a healthy relationship. 

Better Health Channel confirms it:

“Good communication is an important part of all relationships and is an essential part of any healthy partnership. All relationships have ups and downs, but a healthy communication style can make it easier to deal with conflict and build a stronger and healthier partnership.”

But what does it really mean to communicate consistently?

Well, typically, during early dating, the right amount of talking would be 2-3 times per day.

However, Justin Larkin – counselor and adventure lead – thinks that:

“People communicate in different ways, and that is okay. The more important thing is that both partners are compatible when it comes to communication style. 

Some people are fine talking once a day, and others like to speak with their partner multiple times a day.”

So, if you and this girl talk constantly and reply to each other in a decent amount of time, then it could be the right time to ask her to be your girlfriend.  

3) Pay attention to her body language to know when she’s ready to be your girlfriend

Another practical tip to figure out when is the right time to ask a girl to be your girlfriend is to pay attention to her body language.

Body language is important in communication and as such, it will reveal plenty of clues if she’s already thinking of you as her boyfriend.

Here are what body language signs to look out for according to Lachlan Brown, author, and founder of Hack Spirit:

“If she stands taller, pulls her stomach in, and her shoulders back, then that’s a great sign that she’s into you.”

“Turning her body towards you and giving you her full presence is a great sign. Just like her feet, the body subconsciously turns toward the person they’re interested in,” he adds.

On his list, you can find other clues such as when she gets touchy-feely with you, blushes when she’s around you and acts shy.

If you notice some of these signs, it means you’ve reached the right time to ask her to be your girlfriend.

4) Ask her to be your girlfriend based on expert opinion

While I’m sure that you’re capable of following these tips and asking a special girl to be your girlfriend at the right time, I know a simpler way to find out when.

You see, I am a big fan of relationship coaches because they are knowledgeable and experienced enough to answer any relationship question. 

They helped me when I was in a similar situation to yours and they continue to help me with my current relationship dilemmas.

If you don’t have experience with relationship coaches, I highly recommend that you consult one from Relationship Hero.

They are focused on helping you build and maintain healthy relationships, and they’re extremely affordable. What’s more, they can save you a lot of time and drama with their practical and easy-to-follow guidance. 

So, if you’re not sure about when to ask a girl to be your girlfriend, the best thing to do is ask a relationship coach for advice. They’re available day and night, by the way.

They will need more information about you and the girl, but if you’re willing to open up a little, you’ll be surprised to see how helpful they really are.

Click here to get started.

5) Ask her to be your girlfriend when you’re sure you want a serious relationship

Another practical tip is to ask a girl to be your girlfriend when you’re ready for that. Simple but true.

You have to have a real desire for the girl and be ready and willing to commit to her if she does say yes. 

You see, commitment is an important part of a relationship. You can’t be in a relationship without committing to it, and there are plenty of reasons why you might be hesitant to commit. 

One is because you don’t feel ready. Another one is that committing to a girl means that you’re investing time and effort in the relationship and that you’re letting go of single life.

But fear not:

If you have your heart set on her and you have the right feelings for her, then there’s no reason why you shouldn’t ask her to be your girlfriend as soon as you’re ready.

Well, I can actually think of one: unless she already told you specifically that she is not interested.

6) Ask a girl to be your girlfriend when you both see a future together

Want to know when is the right time to ask a girl to be your girlfriend? 

You can determine this if you consider whether you two talk about the future and make plans. 

Why is this important?

Well, it is important because it will tell you if the things between you two are working out so far and if you both see a future together.

Let me explain:

When two people are dating, they should be able to talk about the future and make plans with each other. This pretty much indicates that they like each other and that they’re interested in dating more seriously.

But, listen, I’m not referring to discussions about marriage or having kids. I’m talking about the general area of the future.

For instance, if you two are talking about what you’re going to do next weekend, then you know that she’s interested in something more than the present moment with you. 

In turn, this could indicate that it is time to ask her to be your girlfriend.

7) Make sure she’s not seeing anyone else before asking her to be your girlfriend

While this tip may sound a bit absurd to you, hear me out: 

Many women date more than one guy at once and most of them won’t admit it.

It’s very common and something that I’ve personally experienced, so I always make sure that a girl is not seeing someone else before I ask her to be my girlfriend.

Women use such methods to keep the attention of a man. But, here’s the thing: you should be able to tell if your lady friend is dating someone else. 

If you don’t think that she is, then it’s safe to ask her to be your girlfriend.

However, if you’re unsure, here’s how to tell according to Tina Fey, author of Win Your Ex Back eBook and founder of Love Connection:

“If you’re dating a woman who never seems to be home and is always out with her friends, she might be seeing other men.”

In addition, she asks a very important question:

“Is the woman you’re dating always on her phone, posting sexy selfies on social media?”

Well, if she is, then “this could be a sign that she’s not into a monogamous relationship and that she needs more than one guy to make her happy, ” says Fey.

8) Ask a girl to be your girlfriend when you master the Scrambler 

As much as I’d love to keep telling you about practical tips to help you determine by yourself when is the right time to ask a girl to be your girlfriend, I can’t help but share another shortcut with you.

This one is called the Scrambler and it’s an indirect way to handle your situation. With its help, you can make any woman fall in love with you, which means she’ll be eager for you to ask her to be your girlfriend.

Let me explain:

I mentioned before that I’m a big fan of relationship coaches. Well, relationship expert Bobby Rio is one of them. He has developed a technique that helped me approach women, seduce them, and basically make them obsessed with me.

Ok, you got me – I’m exaggerating a little, but this guy thought me how women think and what I can do to make them fantasize about being with me and crave my attention.

In this free video, he explains the Scrambler step by step, which is a technique that works wonders.

In less than one hour I learned how to behave with a woman to get the best results. And the best part is that I could use it right away. 

If you want to find out how to get started with the Scrambler, go ahead and watch Bobby’s free video. 

As soon as you apply his technique, you can make any girl want to be your girlfriend. Who knows, maybe she’ll even pop the question before you do!

9) Ask a girl to be your girlfriend when you notice the signs she’s ready

Here’s another tip for when to ask a girl to be your girlfriend:

You have to take a close look at the signs she’s giving off, and be able to spot them before asking her. 

But what are the signs? 

According to Pearl Nash, relationship writer for Hack Spirit, here are a few signs a girl wants you to commit to her:

“So if she’s asking you to meet up regularly, then she obviously thinks you two have a good connection. It’s a sign she is investing herself in you and so one of those signs she is serious about you.”

What’s more, this is what Nash adds:

“So if she’s vulnerable around you it’s because she is letting you in. And if she’s letting you in, it’s one of those signs she wants you for the long-term.”

Other signs are when she tries to make you special, when she offers her help, and when she wants to introduce you to her friends. 

If you notice any of these signs, it’s safe to ask her to be your girlfriend. Now is the right time.

10) Ask a girl to be your girlfriend when you see more green flags than red flags

The right time to ask a girl to be your girlfriend can be determined in another way as well. 

And this is by seeing more green flags than red. 

What are the red flags?

According to Madison Laken, Licensed Clinical Psychologist, if you notice controlling, manipulative or abusive behavior from her, then that’s a red flag:

“This may be the easiest red flag of the bunch to actually see since you yourself are on the other end of the abhorrent behavior.

“My best advice to those who see even small signs of this kind of behavior early on in a relationship is to NOT accept and quickly move on.”

She also adds inconsistency to the list of red flags, but as you can imagine, there are many others, such as: 

  • A woman who is overly clingy, jealous, or unreasonable.
  • A woman who likes to tell you what to do or changes her mind frequently.
  • A woman who drains you of your energy and makes you feel like a doormat.

What are the green flags?

Now that you know what are the red flags, here’s a list of green flags to help you determine the right time to ask a girl to be your girlfriend:

  • She respects you and treats you with kindness.
  • She does what she says she will.
  • She’s respectful and affectionate, but not clingy.

If you see more green flags than red ones, then it means you have a good chance of dating a girl who will make you happy for a long time to come. 

It also means the timing is right to ask her.

11) Ask her to be your girlfriend when you find out if your views about a relationship are compatible

Did it cross your mind that maybe you and this girl have different visions of how a relationship should look like?

If so, then you’d better find out if your visions are compatible before asking her to be your girlfriend.

And how are you supposed to do that?

Well, you can do it by talking about it openly. For example, you could ask her this:

  • What does it mean for you to have a boyfriend?
  • What are the most important things for you in a relationship?
  • What do you want your relationship to look like?

Talking about these things will give both of you an opportunity to discover what your views are on what’s and isn’t okay when it comes to having a successful relationship.

12) Ask a girl to be your girlfriend when you’re alone with her

Now that we’ve talked about the essential aspects to take into account when deciding when to ask a girl to be your girlfriend, let’s talk about one more thing.

Before asking a girl to be your girlfriend, you should make sure the environment is right. 

For example, don’t do it when: 

  • You and she are in a loud or crowded place. 
  • You’re sitting next to someone who’s staring at you. 
  • She’s drunk (she’ll probably say yes because she doesn’t know what she’s doing).
  • You’re drunk (make sure you’re sober before asking her to be your girlfriend).

But what should you do if you want to ask a girl to be your girlfriend in the right way? 

Well, of course, if you’re alone with her, it’s perfect. 

Otherwise, if there are other people around, you can wait until they’ve gone or until things have quieted down a bit.

However, don’t make a really big deal out of it. You don’t have to woo her as if you were proposing to her.

13) Ash her to be your girlfriend only after you’ve figured out how

By now you should’ve figured out that there is no general right timing for asking a girl to be your girlfriend.

It depends on many factors, and each girl is different too.

That’s why it’s recommended to think about how to ask her to be your girlfriend before you actually ask her.

Your approach should be based on your personality. You can do it in a funny and sweet way, or in a romantic and thoughtful way.

For example, you could say something along these lines:

  • We need to talk. I’ve got something important to ask you: Will you be my girlfriend?
  • Agree or disagree: You are my girlfriend.
  • I like you a lot and enjoy spending time with you. Would you like to be my girlfriend?
  • You are the most beautiful and smart girl I’ve ever met. Will you take a chance with me and be my girlfriend?

Of course, you should personalize the wording to your liking and to the relationship you’ve developed with her.

14) Ask a girl to be your girlfriend when you’re prepared for rejection

The next thing to consider before asking her to be your girlfriend is whether you’re prepared for rejection.

Maybe she’s giving off the right signals, only sends green flags, and you’re sure that she likes you for the long term, but even so, there’s still a chance that she could say no.

Are you prepared for it? 

If you’re not, then now is not the right time to ask her. A good way to prepare yourself is to think ahead and imagine the changes that a relationship with her will bring.

For example, you can imagine what kind of emotions you’ll be feeling when she says no and how your life will change if she says yes.

In this way, you’ll be more prepared to embrace a relationship with her and even more prepared to handle yourself if she says no to you.

15) Ask her to be your girlfriend when you feel it’s right

Look, I know I said you shouldn’t base your decision to ask a girl to be your girlfriend on your gut feeling. 

But, there’s a catch: 

Your intuition is reliable, however, it shouldn’t be the only reason to take the plunge and ask her. You should make sure your feelings are backed up with at least a little bit of logic. 

If that’s the case, then you should feel confident about choosing the right time to ask her to be your girlfriend.

Don’t overthink it, though! 

Final words

When to ask a girl to be your girlfriend? 

Don’t rush into asking her. Take your time to make a smart decision and find out more about her.

But don’t wait too long either, because it’s possible that she’ll think you’re not interested in her that way.

Now that you know when to ask a girl to be your girlfriend, go ahead and do it! 

Good luck!

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

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