10 things to say when she’s not ready for a relationship

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You’ve met an amazing woman. She’s attractive, smart, basically the full package.

You’ve spent some time together, and you’re ready to move things forward. There’s just one problem — she says she’s not ready for a relationship.

This can’t possibly be it. And it doesn’t have to be. Here are 10 things to say to win her over and get the relationship you’ve always wanted. 

1) Nothing

She recently told you that she’s not ready for a relationship. You might be thinking that time is of the essence — that there’s a small window of time available for you to change her mind or lose her. 

But what should you say?

At least at the beginning, it’s a good idea to take a breather and say nothing.

Let the information sit with you for a bit, and let her have a taste of what it’s like to not have you running after her.

You both might come to some new revelations in the process. Maybe she’ll realize she was taking your attention for granted, and misses you much more than she thought. Or perhaps it will be you who realizes that she might not be such a great match for you after all.

Either way, it’s best to take a few deep breaths before you rush into anything you might later regret. 

This doesn’t mean you have to pretend nothing happened — on the contrary, it’s a natural reaction and acknowledgment of it by taking a step back and reassessing the situation with dignity. 

2) “You were right.”

When you ask a woman out and she tells you she’s not ready for a relationship, there is a certain understanding of what you both feel.

You really like her. You want to take things to the next level. But she isn’t so sure. For whatever reason, her feelings aren’t so strong. 

This creates a sort of imbalance in the relationship. Even the nicest, most modest woman will feel a bit of an ego boost, and feel like she has the guys’ full interest. In a way, she may take it for granted and therefore not appreciate it. 

So what happens if you turn the tables? After pulling back for a few days, the next time you talk to her, you can say something like “You know, after I had some time to think about it, I realized you were right, we’re better off as friends.”

Don’t be mean or spiteful about it — just say it naturally, like you’ve honestly realized you don’t want her so badly after all. 

This will jolt her out of her certainty that she’s desired, and make her wonder why you’re losing interest. 

Humans in general hate the feeling of losing something, and it’s been shown that we will fight to keep something we had much harder than we will try to obtain something new and equally appealing.

So now, she’ll start to see your desire for her as something she’s losing — and that will make her want it back more badly than anything else. 

3) “Wanna hang out and grab drinks tonight?”

When a woman says she’s not ready for a relationship, many guys get trapped in binary thinking. Either she’s my girlfriend, or nothing at all. 

But there is a third option in the middle: you can just hang out and have fun.

If you like her enough to want to have a relationship with her, she must have lots of great qualities. She brings value to your life — and she doesn’t have to be your girlfriend to do that.

By continuing to spend time with her, you can show her that you really do value her as a person, and not just what she can potentially do for you through a relationship. 

You want to be constantly reminding her of how fun it is to be around you, and create as many positive memories together as possible. 

So instead of putting you out of her mind and gradually forgetting about the whole thing, she may start to realize how great it is to have you in her life, and that she wants even more. 

How to approach her without screwing everything up

Let’s be honest. Finding the perfect woman, just to have her say she’s not ready for a relationship?

It’s not easy. It’s enough to make you want to give up on love and walk away. 

But I want to suggest a solution. You have all the tools you need to do this right now, right where you are. 

I learnt about this from the modern-day shaman Rudá Iandê. He taught me how the lies we tell ourselves about love are part of what keep us from building the relationships we want with the people we want. 

As Rudá explains in this transformational free video, love is available to us if we cut through the lies that we tell ourselves. 

We need to face the facts about unrequited love. 

The alternative is to end up in loveless relationships or endless dating frustration that only leaves us cold and empty. 

The alternative is to be sunk in stagnant codependency and completely unable to find a partner who can fully reciprocate your feelings and commitment. 

Rudá’s teachings showed me a whole new perspective. 

While watching, I felt like someone understood my struggles to find love for the first time – and finally offered an actual, practical solution to getting the woman I wanted to commit. 

If you’re done with wasting your time on love that doesn’t work, I invite you to watch this short video and open your mind to new possibilities. 

Click here to watch the free video.

4) “Let’s hit the amusement park!”

As you hang out and spend time with her, choose activities that can let the two of you get a little physical.

You may have heard this as advice for a first date. That’s because creating a bit of adrenaline while she’s with you is something of a psychological trick. The effects of a physical or scary activity are so similar to sexual arousal that the brain confuses the two. 

And so, creating these emotions even through physical exercise will increase her sexual attraction to you

Here are some great ideas for activities:

  • Biking or roller skating
  • Any sport
  • Rock climbing
  • Hiking
  • Paragliding
  • Ziplining
  • Canoeing or kayaking
  • Skiing or snowboarding
  • Going to a waterpark
  • Watching a scary movie

You can see that some are fairly common activities, but others are more unique and unusual.

Doing these novel things together is also a great way to deepen your bond and create some fun lifelong memories.

Not sure how to pitch the idea?

Suggest it to her as an exciting adventure you’d love to experience. You don’t want to follow the boring status quo but live an exciting and interesting life — and she can do the same.  

Remember, you’re much more likely to convince her if you sound enthusiastic about the idea yourself!

5) “I met this really cool woman the other day.”

So she’s told you she’s not ready for a relationship. But she might start to have second thoughts once she realizes another woman could have you.

This is the premise of countless romantic novels and chick flick movies, and for good reason. It really happens!

You might have even experienced this yourself. There’s a woman who you’re sort of into, but you’re not really sure. But then you see a bunch of other guys flirting with her, and suddenly you have to have her all for yourself. 

Or maybe she breaks things off with you, and that’s when you start to feel a lot more “sure” in your feelings. 

The idea here isn’t to sound obvious or manipulative. So you shouldn’t start fawning over how hot this other woman is, or say something that’s obviously exaggerated.

But you do want to let her know that you’re looking around, and that there are other women that could catch your eye — and want your attention. 

6) “I’ve been taking this cool new course.”

Studies have looked at the factors that make broken up couples get back together.

Do you know what they found?

Exes tend to regret their decision to break up or decide to get back together if they perceive that their ex partner is working on themselves and has changed for the better. 

So if there’s anything about yourself you’ve wanted to change or improve, now you have even more reason to finally start.

This can include reading self-help books, taking a course, or simply creating a new healthy habit. You can learn a new language, practice meditation, or work on your communication skills. 

Not sure what’s the best investment for your time?

I know just the thing – the free Love and Intimacy video by the world-renowned shaman Rudá Iandê. 

I mentioned it earlier. It’s the best choice to kill two birds in one stone and get her to look at you in a different way while improving your whole mindset around love and intimacy at the same time. 

While watching it, I felt like someone understood my struggles to find love (and keep it) for the first time – and finally offered an actual solution to getting the commitment I wanted from the woman I loved. 

But it all starts with your inner relationship. Once you learn how to love yourself, giving and receiving love becomes a whole lot easier. 

If you’re ready to take that journey, click here to watch the incredible free video.

7) “Here’s what I imagine a relationship to look like”

Did you know two people can talk about the same thing but mean completely different things?

You might think a relationship means you spend time together a few days per week, support each other through both good and bad days, but each conserve your own hobbies, circle of friends, and individual lives. 

But she might assume you expect the two of you to hang out 24/7, sacrificing friends and hobbies to put each other first.

Maybe this is the reason behind her hesitations. If you clarify both of your expectations from what a relationship would mean, you might realize you both want the same thing after all. 

This can be a touchy subject to bring up, since she told you she’s not ready for a relationship

So don’t make it sound like an ultimatum or like you’re putting pressure on her. Try to bring it up with genuine curiosity at a moment when it feels like it naturally fits into the conversation, kind of like “hey here’s what I think about this — what about you?”

8) “Sorry, I’m busy tonight.”

If you want a relationship with her and she’s not ready for one, it’s enough to drive a man insane.

You might find it impossible to take your mind off her, and try to take any opportunity you can to spend time with her. 

So if she texts you asking to hang out, you should jump at the chance, right?


It’s a good idea to spend time with her and have fun, as explained above. But you don’t want to give her the impression like you’re always available for her. 

As I’ve touched on above, women don’t fall for the guy who lays the world out at their feet. They fall for the guy who’s confident, desired, and knows his worth. 

So go ahead and spend time with her if you’re both free. But don’t change all your plans just to be able to see her. 

And even if you are free, it doesn’t hurt once in a while to make her think you’re busy doing something very interesting without her.  

9) “There’s lots of other women interested in me anyways.”

Now, an important disclaimer: you don’t want to actually SAY this to her.

It will come off as spiteful and definitely not make you look more attractive in her eyes.

But if you can start to adopt this mindset for yourself and act according to it, you’ll start to exude more confidence. And women can smell that from a mile away. 

You see, it would be absolutely amazing if women fell for the nice guys. But reality doesn’t work that way. Instead, women are drawn to men who are charming, confident, and a little rough. 

This is attractive to women because they have a biological urge to be attractive to men they believe can protect and defend them. Women are also attracted to men who they perceive other women desire. This makes them subconsciously believe, “Oh he must be a great catch!”

So being nice makes you a wonderful friend and a great pal to hang out with, but it won’t make her fall at your feet. 

This can be a little tricky to wrap your mind around if you’re someone who struggles with confidence and self-esteem. 

So how can you deal with gaining more confidence and charm in a practical way?

I’ve been in your position before, and there was one thing that helped me get to the root cause and resolve this – the free Love and Intimacy video by the world-renowned shaman Rudá Iandê. 

Rudá doesn’t smooth things over, he gets real, and he digs deep into the relationship you have with yourself and how it impacts the relationships you have with others.

So if you’re ready to finally gain more confidence and make the woman you want ready to commit, check out his incredible free video here.

10) “Thank you for your time, I wish you all the best.”

Lastly, you might decide it’s best to just say thank you and move on.

This might not be what you want to hear, but sometimes saying she’s not ready for a relationship is just a nice way to say she doesn’t want a relationship with you. 

She doesn’t want to hurt your feelings, and maybe she really believes it deep down. But sometimes women say this and then two weeks later they’re getting serious with someone else.

If she’s not ready for a relationship and you are, then maybe she’s simply not the right woman for you. You might have different values and expectations for what two people who like each other can offer each other. 

You won’t be able to force her into your “mold” for an ideal girlfriend, nor would it be right to try. So sometimes you could be better off recognizing that she is not a good fit for you, and go look for someone that is. 

Make her desperate to be your girlfriend

Here’s the thing about your situation.

You want to be with her, but she isn’t ready for a relationship. Obviously, you don’t like where this puts the two of you. 

But it will keep on being this way — until you make a change.

You need to make her look at you in a different way to make her feel something different towards you. 

Because if you just keep on doing things the way you have until now, she will also keep on believing what she has until now!

It’s up to you to make this change — and the longer you wait, the more chance there is that she’ll meet someone else or slip away.

I almost made this mistake, but I was able to turn things around thanks to this free Love and Intimacy video by the world-renowned shaman Rudá Iandê. 

I thought it sounded very cheesy at first. But a friend recommended it so highly, I thought, what the hell, I’ll give it a shot.

And boy am I glad I did.  

So don’t wait any longer and take your future into your own hands. 

If you’re ready to have a relationship with the woman of your dreams, click here to watch the incredible free video.

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

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