Stuck in your mid-20s and wondering when it’s too late to settle down and have kids?
Many people are wondering the same thing.
When is it too late to settle down? How do you know if he or she is the one? Is it too late to get married?
These are all important considerations, but they aren’t always easy to answer.
But there’s no cut-off point because it’s different for everybody.
That being said, most people have their own ideas of what’s ideal when it comes to getting married, having kids, and being married.
So, what should you know about settling down? What are some myths about settling down? And when is it too late to settle down?
Read on to find out everything you need to know about the right time to settle down.
What you should know about settling down?
When you’re young, the thought of getting married and starting a family seems like a given, right?
But let me guess.
As you get older, the prospect of settling down and raising a family seems like less of a priority.
After all, you’re still young. You’ve got your whole life ahead of you. So why should you start thinking about marriage and parenthood?
If you’re not ready to commit, you may be afraid that you’ll never find someone who shares your same values. Or perhaps you’re worried that you’d be a bad parent. Or perhaps you’re simply not as ready as you’d like to be.
Whatever the reason, all these things and myths about the right time to settle down make you think that it may be too late to settle down.
But the truth is that each relationship is different.
Some people are ready for marriage from the moment they say “I do” and others need more time to themselves before jumping back into the world of committed relationships.
If you’re still wondering, “Is it too late to settle down?” and you’re in your 20s or 30s, the answer is probably no, but it’s never too late to try.
If you’re in your 20s, there’s a chance you’ll change your mind about marriage a few years from now. However, as we get older, the possibility of getting married decreases. If you’re in your 20s, here’s everything you need to know about whether it’s too late to settle down.
But the question of when to settle down has a lot more to it than just age.
The simple truth is that the right time to settle down depends on your life stage. For example, if you’re in your 20s, you may not be ready to settle down and get married yet. If you’re in your 30s and 40s, you may feel like there’s no point in getting married because of the biological clock.
But even if you feel like it might be too late for marriage at this point, don’t lose hope! Why?
Because it’s never too late to try and find someone who can share your life with you.
What age is best for settling down?
Let’s be honest.
When you’re in your 20s and 30s, the question of “Is it too late to settle down?” is more complicated.
You’re young. You’re single. You can have it all. The only trouble is, that you also have a long way to go before you’re ready to settle down.
So, is it too late? The answer is complicated, but it all comes down to knowing yourself. Here’s a timeline to help you out.
- 5-6 years before you want to get married
Start looking for the “one.” Start building your relationship by spending more time with your partner.
Go on dates. Take walks together. Bring your partner’s coffee dates. Let him or her pick up the tab on the second date.
- 3-4 years before you want to get married
Figure out your goals first.
What are your priorities? What are you trying to gain from this relationship? Do you need financial security? Social status? A baby?
Start thinking about what you want out of the relationship and write it down. This will make it easier to discuss it with potential partners.
- 1-2 years before you want to get married
This is when you should start thinking about engagement.
Start planning your future together. Start saving for a down payment on a house or apartment. Start thinking about how you’ll support each other as a family.
The 6 biggest myths about settling down
1) You can only be settled if you plan to have a family
Aren’t you tired of hearing that you can’t be settled until you’re ready to have a family?
If you’re thinking about the right time to settle down, chances are that you’re fed up with people saying you can’t be settled until you have a family.
But what if you don’t want to have a family?
What if you never wanted to have children?
Or maybe you’re okay on your own but just want to feel the sense of being settled down.
Believe it or not, you’re not alone. In fact, that’s an outdated myth that doesn’t hold water.
The truth is that it’s easy to feel like the pressure is on to have a family, but it doesn’t mean that you can’t be settled without one.
Because settling down doesn’t have anything to do with having a family. Instead, it’s about making a commitment to another person for the long term. Or sometimes, it can be a commitment to your career or to your goals.
Settling down is about making the choice to put someone else first, even if that means you have to sacrifice something in return.
Why am I saying this?
Well, the reason is that our society has confused settling down with having a family. And that’s where the problem lies – the myth that you can’t be settled unless you have a family.
But what if you could change this, and as a result, change your life and plans for settling down?
You see, so much of what we believe to be reality is just a construction. We can actually reshape that to create fulfilling lives that are in line with what matters most to us.
The truth is:
Once we remove the social conditioning and unrealistic expectations that our society, culture, traditions, or families has put on us, the limits to what we can achieve are endless.
I learned this (and much more) from the world-renowned shaman, Rudá Iandé. In this excellent free video, Rudá explains how you can break down the myths and stereotypes that our society has put on us.
He also shares the secret to living a life that’s in line with what really matters to you, whether it’s settling down or something else.
A word of warning, Rudá isn’t your typical shaman.
He’s not going to reveal pretty words of wisdom that offer false comfort.
Instead, he’s going to force you to look at yourself in a way you have never before. It’s a powerful approach, but one that works.
So if you’re ready to take this first step and align your dreams with your reality, there’s no better place to start than with Rudá’s unique method.
2) Settling down means being tied down
Have you ever heard the idea that settling down means being tied down?
Well, it’s a common belief and one that many people have. But it’s not true.
Because settling down doesn’t mean you’re tied down. It means you’ve made a commitment to someone else, and that can come in many forms.
Why am I so sure?
Let me explain.
Let’s say you’re in a relationship with someone, and your partner is the love of your life. You’re in a long-distance relationship, but you’re still committed to each other.
Now, because you’re committed to each other, you’ve made the decision to be with them even though the circumstances aren’t ideal.
And that’s what settling down means in this particular case – it means making a decision to be with someone even when things aren’t ideal.
But most people don’t see it that way. They think that settling down means giving up your dreams and goals for someone else’s sake. But as I said earlier, this is not true at all.
Settling down doesn’t mean giving up on yourself or your dreams; it means making sacrifices so that another person can have their dream life too. It’s about sacrificing something so that you can both have what really matters most to you both.
You see, you could be in a relationship where you see each other as often as possible, but also have your own space apart from each other.
What does it mean?
It means that settling down doesn’t necessarily mean that your life is going to be boring and uneventful.
It just means that you are going to be in an exclusive relationship with someone.
You can still go out for drinks with your friends, travel the world, and do whatever else it is that makes you happy!
3) Being in your 20s is too early to settle down
How many times have you heard the phrase “you can’t be settled if you’re in your 20s or 30s”?
If you’re in your 20s and thinking about settling down, you’re probably worried that your friends or family will think you’re too young.
Let’s be honest: settling down is difficult, especially when you’re younger.
You have more energy and fewer responsibilities than older people. You can afford more fun and adventures than older people.
And it’s easy to stay single when there are so many attractive people around you! But if this is what’s stopping you from settling down, think again!
Okay, I know from experience that people think that being in their 20s is too early to settle down.
They think that it’s too early to commit to someone else, and yet it’s the perfect time to be single and live life on your own terms.
You see, if you’re in your 20s, you have all the time in the world to do what you want. And if you’re not ready for a relationship yet, then why bother?
So, it makes sense that people think this way.
But here’s the thing: it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. You don’t need to feel like you’re missing out because no one around you has settled down yet.
You don’t need to wait until it’s socially acceptable to settle down.
No matter what anyone else says, if you know that the person is right for you and you want to be with them forever, then why wait?
Sure, it can be scary to take that leap of faith, but there’s no better time than now. So don’t let your age or stage in life stop you from finding happiness with someone else!
4) Being in your 30s is too late to settle down
Now as you already know that you can happily settle down in your 20s, it’s time to debunk another myth about the right time to settle down.
Many people think that it’s too late to settle down when you’re in your 30s.
If you’re in your 30s and thinking about settling down, you might feel like you should have already thought about settling down by now.
You might worry that your friends or family will think you’re “too old” to be settling down now.
But, let’s be honest: settling down is difficult no matter what age you are! You can’t just pick someone out of a hat and expect your marriage to be happy and successful.
You need to find the right person for you, someone who makes you happy, someone who makes sense of your life, someone who accepts the choices that you’ve made with your life so far.
And guess what?
It takes time and effort to find this person! And it takes time and effort to make sure that they really are the right ones for you!
And all these things happen for one simple yet complicated reason – falling in love isn’t easy!
Now let me ask you a question:
Have you ever asked yourself why love is so hard?
Why can’t it be like how you imagined growing up? Or at least make some sense…
When you’re thinking about settling down in your 30s, it’s easy to become frustrated and even feel helpless. You may even be tempted to throw in the towel and give up on love.
I want to suggest doing something different.
It’s something I learned from the world-renowned shaman, Rudá Iandê. He taught me that the way to find love and intimacy is not what we have been culturally conditioned to believe.
In fact, many of us self-sabotage and trick ourselves for years, getting in the way of meeting a partner who can truly fulfill us.
You may end up still being single in your 30s, feeling like you’re running out of time.
However, as Rudá explains in this mind blowing free video, many of us chase love in a toxic way that ends up stabbing us in the back.
We get stuck in awful relationships or empty encounters, never really finding what we’re looking for, and continuing to feel horrible about things like being single in our 30s.
We fall in love with an ideal version of someone instead of the real person.
We try to “fix” our partners and end up destroying relationships.
We try to find someone who “completes” us, only to fall apart with them next to us and feel twice as bad.
Believe it or not, Rudá’s teachings gave me a whole new perspective.
While watching, I felt like someone understood my struggles to find and nurture a love for the first time – and finally offered an actual, practical solution about the right time to settle down.
If you’re done with wasting your time and energy on meaningless relationships, hoping that love will happen to you if you feel that it’s time to settle down but can’t find true love, intimacy, and a life filled with happiness, fulfillment, and joy…
Then this free video is for you.
I guarantee you will not be disappointed.
5) Settling down means that you have already found “the one”
Did you know that there’s no point in looking for the “one”?
I’m not saying here that there is no such thing as “the one.”
However, perhaps unsurprisingly, no matter how much you fall in love with someone, there will always be flaws.
And the more you try to change your partner, the more unhappy you will ultimately become.
The reason why I’m telling you this is that finding “the one” in order to settle down is another myth that is deeply rooted in our society.
It is one of the most common myths that is told to us by our parents, friends, and society.
The idea that “the one” exists and that you will only find it if you get married.
But you know what?
Even if you haven’t found “the one” or if you are still looking for true love, you can still find ways to settle down.
Well, the first thing you should do is to realize that settling down doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to create a family, have a baby, or find “the one.”
Instead, settling down means living a steady and regular life with someone who you trust, who you enjoy being with, and who you are compatible with.
What’s more, sometimes settling down can even mean living by yourself, having a carer of your own, and enjoying the company of your pets.
The point is that settling down doesn’t mean that you’ve already found your true love.
So, you can still settle down and continue the quest for true love.
6) Settling down means you’re giving up your independence
I’m sure you’ve heard this one before.
However, I’m not talking about the kind of independence that you’re thinking of.
I mean the type of independence that you want to have once you settle down.
You want to be able to do what you want and make your own decisions without someone else’s influence.
Well, guess what? You can still have this kind of independence even when you settle down.
Well, for starters, I’m going to show you how to have an independent life in your relationship, even when you are in a relationship. That way, you won’t feel like settling down is giving up your independence.
But for this, we need to first define what “settling down” means, for once and for all.
So, what does “settling down” mean?
Well, settling down means that you’ve made a decision to live a more stable and happy life. It means that you’re already mature enough to live on your own and you’re ready to make an effort to be independent, even if you’re in a relationship.
What does this mean?
It means that settling down isn’t even related to finding a partner, creating a family, or getting married.
You can still settle down even if you’re not in a relationship. You can still settle down and be happy without any of these things.
So, the idea that to settle down is to give up your independence is just another myth that we’ve just proved wrong.
All in all – when is it too late to settle down?
In conclusion, after discovering and debunking the myths about settling down, I’m here to tell you that there’s n right age for you to settle down.
It’s never too late. And also, it’s never too early.
The key here is that once you feel you’re mature enough to settle down, it’s perfectly fine to do so.
So, remember: we all have different life stages and everybody has different opinions about what they think is ideal for them.
And in the end, the only thing that matters is how you feel about settling down and how happy you are with your life as it is right now.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.