Yeah I know, we can sometimes be the masters of giving second chances and clinging onto the hope that a man will come back into our lives.
But sometimes, it is just time to cut ties and let go.
20 signs that it’s time to let a man go when he disappears
1) He is emotionally unavailable
If he is emotionally unavailable, then he is not going to want to be with you or be in a relationship. Why? Because he doesn’t want a relationship.
He wants to be free, to do whatever he wants, to be emotionally unattached, and that’s not what you want.
If a man is emotionally unavailable, he is probably not interested in a relationship.
Someone who is emotionally available will be able to meet your needs and wants, will be able to understand and connect with you and be able to be there for you when you need him.
What even is emotional availability?
Well, it means that someone has the emotional space and capacity to be in a relationship.
Someone who is emotionally unavailable is not able to be in a relationship, because they don’t want to be.
2) You don’t feel good around him
If you don’t feel good around a man, then you aren’t supposed to be with him.
You deserve to be around people who make you feel good, who lift you up, and who are good for you.
You don’t deserve to be around people who bring you down, who suck the life out of you, and who don’t make you feel good.
We all deserve to be around people who make us feel good, and, let’s face it, a man who disappears is not going to make you feel good.
He is going to bring you down and suck the life out of you.
You see, as women, one of our core needs is to feel safe with a man, physically and emotionally.
If a man just disappears, that triggers our fear of abandonment and is everything but safe.
That’s also why you should find someone who is emotionally available because they are going to be able to meet your needs.
They will be there when you need them, and they will make you feel good.
3) A relationship coach tells you the truth
While this article will shed light on the main signs to let go of a man who disappears, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.
With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice tailored to your unique situation…
Relationship Hero is a popular site where highly trained relationship coaches help people work through complex relationship issues, like being unsure of whether or not to leave.
Their popularity boils down to how skilled their coaches are.
Why am I so confident that they can help you?
Well, after recently experiencing a tough patch in my own relationship, I reached out to them for help. From the moment I got in touch, I was given genuine, helpful advice, and was finally able to see my relationship issues with real clarity.
I was blown away by how kind and empathetic my coach was.
Within minutes, you could be receiving life-changing advice on how to navigate and repair the issues you’re facing in your relationship.
4) He doesn’t want to be in a relationship right now
If a man doesn’t want to be in a relationship right now, then he doesn’t have to.
He can go off and do whatever he wants, and that is what he wants.
But if he disappears, then you have to realize that he doesn’t want to be in a relationship and let him go.
There is no use in clinging on to him for dear life when he doesn’t want to be with you.
It will be about him, and it won’t matter if he’s not in a relationship with anyone else.
He will just want to continue doing what he wants without having any responsibilities or obligations towards another person.
That’s not how quality men who are good for you are wired!
They are supposed to take care of others first before themselves.
If this guy has been disappearing for some time now, then it may mean that it’s time for him to move on and get his priorities straight before being in a relationship.
5) He doesn’t make an effort to see you
If a man doesn’t make an effort to see you, then he doesn’t care enough to see you.
It’s as simple as that.
I always hear the phrase “if he wanted to, he would”, and it is absolutely true.
He is probably a bit busy with work or with other things going on in his life, but if he doesn’t make an effort to see you, then he doesn’t care enough to see you.
If he did care, he would take the time for you.
You see, you would notice some effort, like reaching out during his breaks, or already planning your next date for his next day off, no matter how far in advance.
If you are seeing a man who doesn’t make an effort to see you, then he doesn’t care enough to be with you.
Now: do you want to be with a man who can’t wait to spend time with you, or do you want to be with someone who treats you like dirt?
Hopefully, it’s the first!
6) He doesn’t call you back or answer your texts immediately
If you are constantly waiting for him to call you or to text you back, and he never does, then he is pulling away from you and he is pulling away from the relationship.
When a man disappears and he never calls you or texts you back, then he is not interested in talking to you and he is not interested in you.
You see, if a man is interested in a woman and is serious about her, he will be willing to move entire mountains for her, believe me.
And here you are, accepting that you aren’t even getting a text back? No, you deserve a lot more than that.
You see, if a man is interested in a woman, then he will start to make time for her.
He will reach out to her and make an effort to see her when he has the time.
He will take the time to call her back or to text her back when she calls him or texts him.
This is how men treat women they care about!
Because they want to know about her day and what she’s up to, they care!
7) He cheats and lies to you constantly
If a man cheats on you and lies to you constantly, then he is not a good guy and he doesn’t care about you.
He doesn’t care about your feelings, your emotions, your heart, or your happiness.
He is only interested in himself and his own needs.
Simply put, he is not a good guy.
Now: if he disappears on top of it all, then I don’t think I have to spell it out for you, do I?
This is a neon sign to get the hell out of there!
You deserve someone who respects you fully and, trust me, disappearing, lying, and cheating are the exact opposite of respect!
8) You are constantly the one making sacrifices for him
If you are constantly the one making sacrifices for him, then he is not a good guy and he doesn’t care about your feelings.
He doesn’t care about you, your desires, or your happiness.
He is only interested in himself and his own needs.
You see, when a man disappears, it is already selfish enough, but if you are left being the one making sacrifices for him, something is not right.
The thing is, men are meant to be the providers, the ones who take care of us, and we are the ones who receive.
Now: whether you like this traditional concept or not, in any case, you shouldn’t be the only one making sacrifices!
You deserve so much more than that!
If you are always the one making sacrifices for him, then he is not the right guy and he doesn’t care about your feelings.
So find yourself a man who would give you the world, because you deserve nothing less!
9) You are always fighting with each other over small things
If you are always fighting with each other over small things, then you are probably not in a good relationship.
Apart from his disappearing act, if you are constantly fighting with each other, not respecting each other, and not valuing each other, then you are probably with someone who is not good for you.
You see, when you are always fighting with each other over small things, then you are probably not in a good relationship.
In a healthy relationship, there is not much pettiness, and small things aren’t a cause for fights.
And when there are fights, they are healthy and constructive, so that both partners learn something from them.
So, if you are constantly fighting over the smallest stuff and your partner doesn’t seem to respect you, you should really let him go.
10) He is physically abusive
If you are being physically abused by your partner, then it’s time to let him go. Period.
Physical abuse is never acceptable in any form and it’s never okay for someone to hit you or assault you.
No one should ever have to endure physical abuse and if he does, then it’s time for him to get out of your life and for you to find someone who will treat you the way that you deserve and need to be treated!
This one shouldn’t even have to be mentioned because it is a given, but if a man ever lays a hand on you, please get out of that situation as quickly as possible.
There are numbers you can call to help, or you can reach out to your friends and family.
11) The sex is bad and he doesn’t care enough to change that
If the sex is bad and he doesn’t care enough to change that, then he is not interested in you.
He doesn’t care about your needs, desires, or your sexual pleasure.
He is only interested in himself and his own desires.
Does that sound familiar?
Well, then I hate to break it to you, but that can be a big sign to let him go.
You see, this is a two-way street, of course, both partners need to make an effort and be engaged, but if he never cares about your pleasure, even after you communicate to him what you like, then he is not the right man for you.
12) He uses your kindness as a weapon against you
If he uses your kindness as a weapon against you, then he is not a good guy and he does not care about you.
In my own experience as a kind woman, the wrong man will take advantage of you for being so kind.
He will use your kindness against you and he will take advantage of you.
And, I have to say that I am a very kind person and I can be very nice when I want to be, but if a man is not respectful or polite towards me, then he is not the right guy for me.
13) He’s emotionally abusive
If he is emotionally abusive towards you, then it’s time for him to go. Period.
Emotional abuse is never okay and it’s never okay for someone to tell you that they don’t love you and that they hate you because of something that you did or said.
Being emotionally abused by your partner is one of the worst things that can happen in a relationship because it slowly takes away your self-esteem and dignity until one day, when it has been too long, you just give up hope of ever being happy again.
And even if there are no physical injuries from the emotional abuse, it still hurts and people still feel pain after being abused like this for so long.
If a man is emotionally abusive, please try to get out of that situation.
Talk to a friend or family member you trust and know that, even after all the horrible things he said to you, you are loved and valued, and worth so much more than that!
14) He doesn’t keep his promises to you
If a man doesn’t keep his promises to you, then he doesn’t care about you or your feelings.
I will keep it simple: A man who cares about you will keep his promises to you.
He will not break plans or let you down.
Now: of course, shit can happen and plans can change, but a man in his integrity will apologize or immediately make up for it somehow.
Only a man that needs to be let go will be flaky and never keep his promises.
So: if he disappears and also never keeps any of his promises, you deserve someone way better than that!
15) You are not a priority in his life
He cares more about other women than he does about you.
But maybe it’s not even about other women, perhaps he just prioritizes work, his friends, or his free time over you.
If he can’t be bothered to be with you, then he doesn’t care about you and your feelings.
And, if a man doesn’t care about your feelings, then that is a very bad sign and something you should look out for.
Now: I’m not saying you need to get attention 24/7 in order to be in a healthy relationship, but you should always be a priority for your partner at least a majority of the time.
If he disappears and you also aren’t a priority, then let him go.
16) He has anger issues
Okay, maybe he hasn’t abused you (yet), but if a man has anger issues and doesn’t actively try to work on them, it is a big red flag.
An angry man is a dangerous man.
It is hard to have a healthy relationship with an angry man, so if you see he has anger issues, please get out of that situation.
If you don’t see any signs of emotional abuse, but do notice that he has anger issues, then let him go.
Now: if he has a history of anger issues in his family and is actively working on it through therapy and healthy coping mechanisms, that’s another thing.
But he also disappeared from you, so maybe he isn’t the right man for you after all.
17) He won’t talk about the future
Okay, this is a big one.
If a man disappears and also never talks about the future with you, it’s time for you to let him go.
If he doesn’t care about a future with you, then he doesn’t care about you.
And that’s a very bad sign.
Now: I’m not saying you need to plan the rest of your life together, but if the man you are dating is not willing to talk about plans with you, that is an immediate red flag.
If he won’t discuss the future with you, then there’s no reason to even be friends or see each other again.
You see, how do you know what his plans are? Does he ever want to get married? Would he like to have kids?
All of these are important questions for the person you are dating, and if a man isn’t ready for that, then you need to let him go.
18) He didn’t have a reason to disappear
Okay, let’s swing back to the core topic of this article: his disappearance.
Did he have a reason to disappear from you?
Well, girl, maybe that alone is already a sign that you need to let this man go!
You see, if he disappears without reason or notice, then that won’t improve if you spend more time with him.
Respect yourself more than that and let him go to find someone who will actually treat you the way you deserve to be treated!
19) You find out why you are staying
There’s a reason why are staying in relationships where you aren’t respected – you’re reliant on your partner for happiness and not yourself.
But when you learn to trust yourself and tap into the incredible pool of personal power within you, you’ll find what you’ve been searching for all along.
You see, we all have an amazing amount of potential. We’re all capable of achieving more than we realize. Happiness is within reach, we just look for it in all the wrong places.
And this has a knock-on effect on everything else in our lives, including our relationships.
I learned this from the shaman Rudá Iandê. He’s helped thousands of people restore balance to their lives, discover their personal power, and live life with passion at the heart of everything they do.
He uses a unique approach that combines ancient shamanic techniques with an effective modern-day twist.
In his excellent free video, Rudá explains how you can build the life and relationships you’ve always wanted, simply by following a few of his techniques.
So if you’re ready to take the plunge and live the life you know you deserve, check out his genuine advice below.
20) Your intuition tells you to leave
Last but not least, the most important sign of them all: your intuition.
Ladies, listen up: your intuition or your gut feeling is stronger than any other signal you can ever receive.
Trust me on this, if you are not sure why, but something in your gut is telling you to let that man go, please listen!
Your intuition is basically your unconsciousness speaking to you, and that unconsciousness might have picked up on things you haven’t consciously noticed.
I know, it can be hard to follow your intuition, especially if you’ve been ignoring it for a long time, but trust me, it is worth it.
When you start to tap into that innate knowledge of yours, everything will become easier, not just your relationships!
So please, do yourself a favor and leave that man if he disappears and your intuition is telling you to let go!
The signs above are all signs that he is not a good guy and does not care about you
If you are seeing a man who does any of the above, then he is not a good guy and he does not care about you.
Do yourself a favor and get out of this situation by letting him go.
There is an amazing man waiting for you, you just need to trust yourself!
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
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