Breakups are never easy. Not even mutual ones where both parties agree that the relationship is over.
Just because it is mutual, it doesn’t mean that you won’t miss your ex and he won’t miss you, right?
But, when do guys start missing their ex if the breakup was mutual?
While there’s no hard and fast rule to that, there are a number of factors that tend to play a part in it.
So, in this article, I’m going to walk you through a list of 22 factors that can help you figure out when he’ll start missing you (if he hasn’t already).
1) When they realize finding happiness without you isn’t that easy
Want to know a secret?
Men tend to think that getting over an ex so soon after a breakup is a walk in the park.
In fact, when it comes to the first few weeks post-breakup, most men are convinced that they’ll never miss their ex and can easily move on.
However, as time progresses, confusing feelings start kicking in. And then the agony begins.
Why does that happen? Because he realizes that finding happiness without you isn’t as easy as he thought.
All those things he said he wanted to do when you were together, but he couldn’t because of you (or that’s what he thought) won’t make him as happy as he thought they would.
And this will result in him missing you and probably wishing you were still together.
Or, at least that’s what most psychologists specialized in the study of breakups would agree with.
2) When you give him more space than he really needs
Look, regardless of why you two decided to break up, you were a big part of his life and the other way around. So, when you suddenly disappear from his life, he’ll feel the need to find you.
Although your breakup was mutual, it’s really hard to stop talking and seeing someone after spending a lot of time together.
Well, probably not at first (at least not for him), but when he gets there, he’ll start missing you.
While there’s no definite time frame for this to happen, if you give him enough space for him to miss you, then he’ll start longing for you.
Now, this doesn’t mean that you should suffocate him if you want the opposite to happen. Just do the same.
3) When he starts calling you more often
Yes, he probably noticed that you’ve been missing from his life, so he’ll start calling you more in order to make sure that everything’s going fine.
Most guys tend to think that if they call a girl once or twice after a breakup, it’s not much of a deal.
But, when they start calling their exes more often than usual, it’s a clear sign that they have started missing them.
Think of it this way: none of you hurt the other since the break-up was mutual. So, you’re still on the same friendly terms – or at least that’s what he might think.
So, if he calls you, that’s not a big deal. However, you can take it as an indicator that he has started missing you.
4) Want advice specific to your situation?
While this article will shed light on the main factors that can help you figure out when guys start missing their ex if the breakup was mutual, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.
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Within minutes, you could be receiving life-changing advice on how to tell when your ex starts missing you, even if the breakup was mutual, and what to do next.
5) When they are reminded of how attractive she is
When do guys start missing their ex if the breakup was mutual?
The answer to this question is a simple one: when they’re reminded of how attractive their exes are.
As you already know, you can get a man’s attention with the help of your looks as he’s not immune to the power of sexual attraction.
In addition, your ex thought you were attractive, otherwise, he wouldn’t have dated you in the first place.
So, the main idea here is that he’ll start missing you if he’s reminded of how attractive you are.
For example, he might see you in a picture or in person and think: “OMG, she’s so hot! I forgot how attractive she is.”
That’s when he’ll start missing you.
6) When they see her having fun
Here’s another important factor that can help you figure out when he’ll start missing you.
If your ex sees you having fun with your life post-breakup, that can remind him of how much fun he used to have with you before the breakup.
And that can be enough for him to realize that he’s missing you and longs to be with you again.
Now, you don’t have to be dating someone else in order to make him miss you.
In fact, as long as you’re having fun with your life, he’ll start longing to be a part of it.
7) When he isn’t having as much fun as he thought he would
The simple truth is that most men feel trapped when they’re in a relationship. They feel like they’re living their life through the lens of a relationship and that’s not really how they want to live theirs.
That’s unfair. I know. However, it’s also the reason why they think they’ll have a lot more fun when they’re single again.
But, in reality, the fun they have when they’re single after a breakup isn’t exactly as fun as they thought it would be.
And that makes them miss their ex and the time they’ve spent together – which ends up not being as bad after all. Ironic, isn’t it?
8) When you express your desire to stop communicating
Mutual breakups are slightly different than the ones where only one person wants to end the relationship.
In a mutual breakup, both of you want to stop seeing each other.
However, when one person clearly expresses their desire to stop communicating after a breakup, the other will most likely miss them.
Do you want this to happen? If you do, then send this “No Communication” text
— “You’re right. It’s best that we don’t talk right now, but I would like to be friends eventually.” —
This one needs to be sent to your ex-boyfriend at the right time for it to be truly effective.
But why I like it is that you’re communicating with him, that you don’t really need to talk anymore. In essence, you’re saying that you don’t really need him to play any role in your life anymore.
Why is this so good?
You induce a “fear of loss” in your ex-boyfriend which will trigger his attraction to you again.
I learned about this text from Brad Browning, who has helped thousands of men and women get their exes back. He goes by the moniker of “the relationship geek”, and for good reason.
In this free video, he’ll show you exactly what you can do to make your ex-boyfriend want you again.
No matter what your situation is — or how badly you’ve messed up since the two of you broke up — he’ll give you a number of useful tips that you can apply immediately.
9) When other women reject them
When they start pursuing other women after a breakup, most men think that they can handle rejection and that it’s no big deal.
After all, they’re probably better off without her. Right?
Not so fast, eager beavers. After a breakup, any rejection will be hard for your ex-boyfriend to swallow because it’ll trigger his fear of rejection.
And that fear of rejection is what makes him miss you and long for your approval. Hmm… That actually makes sense – doesn’t it?
- He might have to face rejection;
- He might meet incompatible women that make him appreciate you;
- He might unconsciously look for you in other women;
- He might need to fill in a void that you left in him.
Are you feeling better now?
10) When they start asking for your help
Even if you and your ex-boyfriend agreed to break up, and even if you’re still friends, you should ask yourself this:
Does he really need your help? Or did he start missing you?
You don’t have to be a detective to figure out the real reason why he reached out to you.
If he’s starting to ask for your help, then it’s likely that he misses you and needs to fill the void you left in his life. And let’s be honest here:
There is no better way to fill the void than by spending time with you again.
11) When they realize how many things their ex was doing for them
Here’s a common situation:
During your relationship, you used to pick up his laundry, buy groceries for him, and cook for him.
Your ex enjoyed the comfort of having someone to take care of all the annoying things in cohabitation, allowing him to focus on his life goals.
However, after breaking up, your ex might have started to realize that you were doing a lot of things for him – everything from taking care of the house to being his personal assistant.
This point applies even if you didn’t live together. If your ex feels like you were doing a lot of things for him, that can trigger him to start missing you.
12) When he tries to be friends with you
In general, men and women don’t stay friends after they break up. Not even if the breakup is mutual.
I’m not saying there aren’t exceptions to this rule.
Gender and personality do play a role, but the general pattern is that most men will have a hard time staying friends with their ex-girlfriends.
And vice versa.
However, when men try to be friends with you, that’s a clear signal that they miss you and want to be in touch with you again.
It’s not a sign that they want more from you. Rather, it’s a sign that they miss the comfort and intimacy of being with you.
13) When they start remembering the good times
First thing after a breakup, people tend to focus on the bad things that have happened during their relationship.
Not surprisingly, most men will tend to focus on all the things that have bothered them about you and the relationship.
But after some time, they’ll start seeing the big picture again – the good times they had with you.
More specifically, your ex-boyfriend will probably remember how much fun you had together and how much you’ve laughed together.
And that’s when he’ll start missing you – not just because of the laughs, but also for the sense of security and comfort he felt with you at the time.
This relates back to what Brad Browning taught me – there are simple ways to get your ex-boyfriend back if that’s what you want.
I mentioned Brad earlier; he’s an expert at helping couples work through their issues and rebuild their relationships.
With practical tips to help you get your ex-boyfriend back, his advice could be just what you need to stop wondering whether he’ll miss you.
14) When he starts asking your friends about you
Guys that miss their exes will most likely ask their friends about them.
How so? They might ask them about your current relationship status, whether you’re dating someone else, and if you have closed the chapter with them.
If he does ask about you, then it’s a good time for you to figure out whether he misses you or not.
Usually, if a man asks your friends about you, he misses you, but he won’t admit it. However, if he asks about you and seems to be interested in how you’re doing, then that’s a plus sign.
15) When about 2 months have passed since the breakup
Do you know what happens in a guy’s mind after about 8 weeks after a breakup?
Experts say that after 2 months have passed since the breakup, most men will start to miss their exes and get more emotional.
The 8-week rule is something that’s commonly found in many psychological studies.
It appears that after 8 weeks have passed since the breakup, humans will start to be a bit sadder and more emotional.
Our brain doesn’t want us to get comfortable with our breakups, so it tends to remind us of the person we were with before the breakup happened.
16) When they contact you out of the blue
Fact: guys that miss their exes will also contact them out of the blue.
For example, your ex might text you one day after more than a month of no communication (or any contact).
What should you think? Well, if he reaches out to you after a long time, then that’s a good sign.
More specifically, it’s a sign that he misses you and needs to reconnect with you again.
Unless he wants something from you specifically, like your help or an item he left at your place, it’s safe to assume that he’s not doing it for the sake of it.
He is reaching out to you because he misses you.
17) When they need emotional support
Most guys act all tough like they don’t need emotional support.
But, when something bad happens in their lives – that brings them down – they need someone to talk to.
And guess what? They will most likely feel like talking to their exes.
But, when they remember that they can’t talk to their exes, that’s when they realize they miss them. Makes sense, doesn’t it?
This point is somehow similar to point 11. How? He needs something that he took for granted while you two were together.
18) When he starts to question his decision to break up
At the beginning of their breakup, people tend to focus on the bad things that have happened in their relationships.
Not long after, the focus shifts to the good things about their relationships.
So, if your ex is still struggling with emotions like this and you want him to miss you, that’s a positive sign. In fact, it’s a sign that he misses you and feels bad about the breakup, even if it was mutual.
Experts say that after a few weeks have passed, your ex might start to have doubts about the breakup.
You see, guys don’t like to admit they feel bad about a breakup. However, if your ex starts to question why he broke up with you, it’s a strong sign that he misses you and regrets not being in a relationship with you anymore.
19) When you stop playing any role in his life
Here’s the thing:
People rarely go through a mutual breakup and stay friends. Although their breakup is mutual, this doesn’t mean that they should keep being part of each other’s lives. Am I right?
In general, most people will sever ties with the other person after a breakup. Some may decide to be friends, but most won’t. Even if the breakup is mutual, people don’t like to be friends with their exes.
In other words, if you keep playing a role in his life, he’ll never get the chance to miss you.
But, if you stop interacting with him after breaking up, he’ll have time to miss you.
20) When his parents will ask him about you
Most parents are like this:
They want their boys to settle down with someone, or they will most likely want them to be in a relationship – not single.
So, especially if you met his parents, they’ll ask about you and talk about you.
They’ll most likely point out your qualities and the things you have in common.
If your ex is not seeing anyone else, he’ll most likely hear from his parents how much they miss seeing you and how great it was to see him with someone like you. In turn, this might trigger him to miss you.
21) When you show him how great your life is
Moving on after a breakup shouldn’t be a competition. In fact, a mutual breakup means that both of you wanted to stop being together.
So, why do guys start missing their exes after they move on?
Because they started realizing that they didn’t make the best of things while they were together.
In other words, seeing how great your life is without him can trigger this feeling in your ex-boyfriend. Seeing that you’re happy without him can make him miss you.
22) Whey they ask their friends to check up on you
Guys usually do something they shouldn’t do. They ask their friends to check up on their exes and make sure that they’re doing well.
And guess what? If his buddies start doing it, that’s a sign that he misses you and wants to talk to you.
They’ll tell him how well you’re doing, and he’ll feel like missing you when he sees how happy and carefree your life is without him.
Are mutual breakups more likely to last?
Some experts say that a mutual breakup isn’t any more or less likely to last than a non-mutual breakup.
Let me explain:
- People can still change their minds even if they agree to the breakup;
- People can still regret the decision to break up, even if it was mutual;
- People can still miss their exes, even if they decide to break up with them;
- People can still feel sad about the ending of the relationship, even if it was mutual;
- People can still realize that they had a great time together.
So, the bottom line is that these are all possible. That’s why mutual breakups are not more likely to last than non-mutual breakups.
Of course, there are counter-arguments as well, but that’s not the point here.
The only thing you should remember is that mutual breakups give both of you time and space to heal without having to deal with each other. And, this is usually a good thing.
What do guys think when their ex texts them?
Studies and surveys done on breakups show this:
- Some guys think that when their exes text them, they miss them and that it’s a positive sign that they miss them;
- Other guys believe that when their exes text them, they are just checking up to see how they’re doing;
- Other guys believe that when their exes text them, they want something from them, like help with something.
- Other guys believe that when their exes text them, they are just trying to get back together with them.
You see – there are a lot of different answers you can get from men. So, you’ll just have to take your chances and text him if that’s what you want to do.
Pro tip: try to come up with something more creative than a simple “Hi, how’s it going?”. Try something that’ll make him feel like missing you.
When does he start missing you if the breakup was mutual – You decide
Be honest, you want your ex back. You regret agreeing to the breakup, and now you’re wondering how long until he starts missing you.
Well, if you really want your ex back for good, you’ll need the help of Brad Browning. I mentioned him earlier; he’s developed some incredible techniques to help rebuild the love and trust between you and your ex-boyfriend.
And the best part?
With his practical advice and tips, you could be in contact with your ex much sooner than you think. You don’t have to wait for him to start missing you. Are you ready to take the plunge and fight for the love you once shared together?
If so, check out Brad’s excellent free video.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
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