It’s been a long time since you last heard from your ex, and it doesn’t seem like they’re interested in keeping in touch.
Maybe you’ve even got a new partner or spouse now… but then all of the sudden, they start to reach out or messages start rolling in on social media.
The big question is, why are they contacting you all of a sudden?
Why was it so easy for them to just forget about you and move on, but now they’ve suddenly got the urge to get back in touch.
Here are 14 reasons why your ex is contacting you years later:
1) Your ex has made a mistake and wants to apologize
Maybe your ex behaved terribly during the breakup, and they realize now it was a mistake.
They might have been drunk and saying things they didn’t mean, but now they’re sober and regret their actions.
Granted, if your ex acted like a complete douchebag you probably don’t want to see them or hear from them again.
But, if there’s genuine regret involved here, it’s worth at least hearing them out.
It could be that they genuinely miss you, and want to apologize.
They’re going to want to tell you in person how sorry they are, and it’s going to be an awkward conversation.
They’ll probably want you to forgive them too.
It’s up to you how you feel about this though.
I’ve had an ex reaching out to me to apologize for what happened.
I was a bit hesitant to reply at first but I was already tired of all the drama.
So, I decided to be the bigger person and forgave him.
We’re now good friends.
2) Your ex simply wants to catch up
It may have been an acrimonious breakup, but that doesn’t mean they don’t still care about you to some degree.
Maybe you fell out of touch, and they’re just now reaching out because they thought of you.
There’s no hidden motives here.
They’re just feeling nostalgic, and want to chat about the good old days.
They want to see how you’re doing and what’s new in your life.
It doesn’t necessarily mean they want to get back together.
They might have been madly in love when they broke up with you, but now that time has passed, they’ve moved on and forgotten about it.
Either way, there’s no need to read too far into it.
There’s no harm in being friendly with your ex for a catch-up.
Or maybe it’s something else…
I’ll explain in my next point.
3) Your ex misses you
It may not make a lot of sense why your ex is trying to get back in touch now, but there’s a good chance they’re just missing you!
Maybe your ex is realizing now just how much you mean to them.
They’ll probably still be in love with you, and wish things could go back to the way they were.
Which is a good thing if you still have feelings for them as well.
If they’re feeling like this, it means that their decision was based on emotion, and not logic.
And there’s nothing more dangerous than someone making decisions based on emotions rather than logic.
Why do I say this?
Because, although it feels great, it’s likely to be short-lived.
Maybe your ex has realized what a mistake it was for them to break up with you in the first place.
They’re feeling lonely and want to jump back into a relationship with you.
They want you back, but unfortunately, they’re not thinking straight.
Yes, they might miss you now.
But, who knows how long that will last…
4) Your ex wants to rekindle the flame
Sometimes, even years after a breakup, you can still feel a connection to your ex.
It doesn’t have to be mutual, but there’s something inside of you that still feels like theirs.
You might be in a new relationship now, and loving your life.
But, inside of you, there’s still that spark to connect with them again.
They might have felt the same way too.
Maybe that’s why they’ve reached out to you.
You’re the only person who knows what their real problem is, and how to fix it.
Now, here’s the catch… only you know whether or not this is true for you.
How do you know if they’re for you?
Well, one way to know is by seeking clarity from a gifted advisor a.k.a a psychic.
I know, I know.
I was a big skeptic when my friend suggested this idea to me.
But, I decided to speak to an advisor at Psychic Source anyway, and guess what?
I got all the guidance and clarification that I was looking for in regard to my relationship situation.
The advisor that I spoke to was really experienced and genuinely helpful.
I really think they can help you too in answering all the questions that you have about your relationship with your ex.
5) Your ex just wants to be friends again
Sometimes, exes are better off as friends.
You both had a good relationship at one point, but it just wasn’t right for you any longer.
It’s possible your ex wants to be friends again because they want the friendship that they once shared.
They want to pick things up where they left off, and reconnect with someone that understands them.
They’ve realized that you’re the only one in their life who fits these criteria, or maybe no one has been able to fill this void in their life before.
They just want to be friends again, but they don’t know how to bring it up with you.
That’s why they contacted you again after all these years.
Maybe they feel like you’ll be offended, or that you won’t want to get back with them because they feel like they’ve hurt you enough.
Or perhaps they’re having a bad time in their life and are looking for someone who just gets them.
Whatever the reason, it’s up to you whether or not you want to get back with them.
As long as you don’t feel pressured by them, then I think there’s nothing wrong with being friends with your ex.
6) Your ex needs your favor
If your ex is able to get what they want from you, then there’s a chance that they just want your help.
They may have a favor that they want to ask you for, and think it’s easier to do it this way.
It could be that your ex has been having a rough time in their life, and they’re coming to you because they think you’ll be able to help them out.
Maybe they’re looking for a shoulder to cry on.
Or they want you to help them get something off the ground that they’ve been struggling with.
Something where you have a lot of influence over them.
You can always deny their request if you don’t like the sound of it.
Don’t feel pressured into doing anything you’re not okay with.
It’s your life, and you get to choose who you help out and when.
7) Your ex is lonely and heartbroken
It’s possible that you didn’t disappear out of their life.
Their confidence took a bit of a hit when they broke up with you and they ended up losing themselves in other relationships.
They might still be in love with you and wish that things could go back to the way they were, but now it feels like it might be too late for them.
They’ve crashed and burned in subsequent relationships, or been burnt by other people who just weren’t right for them.
They might be in a relationship but their heart just does not lie with that person.
They’re feeling lonely and heartbroken and have hit a brick wall.
They don’t know what to do or where to turn.
That’s why they’ve turned to you now.
Because they think you’re the only one who understands them and can help them out of this situation.
Anyone else will just try to put it down to them being scared of commitment or not being ready yet.
BUT, there’s also a chance that your ex is just using you to get over their heartbreak!
Read my next point for more explanation.
8) Your ex is using you as a distraction!
Your ex might not be into you at all.
They just wanted to have someone to talk to and have a friend with benefits.
Or maybe they’re using you to get over their recent ex.
They see you as an easy target, and are using you for your friendship and comfort.
But, don’t let that stop you from moving on from this situation.
Your ex won’t be able to keep stringing you along forever.
They can and will leave you, and they might not even ever tell you why.
Which is what happened to me…
When one of my exes reached out to me, I thought he genuinely wanted to be friends.
Then all of the sudden, he started to ghost me and stopped replying.
Want to take a guess why?
Well, apparently he got back together with his other ex and was just using me all along!
So, don’t be like me.
It’s best to move on from them now, before what’s happening becomes permanent.
9) Your ex wants attention from you
Let’s face it, your ex is looking for attention.
They want to feel like they’re wanted and needed.
They’re feeling pretty lonely and miserable right now, so they’re looking for someone to make them feel happy again.
They just need someone who will listen to their problems and be there for them when they need it most.
Even though they broke your heart, they still have some affection towards you.
And if they can’t have that relationship with you anymore, then at least they can have your attention.
Sometimes people do weird things out of desperation!
There’s nothing wrong with that, it’s human nature.
Whether you’re in a relationship or not, everyone needs attention now and again.
And your ex might miss the attention they got from you when you were together.
Either way, they’re getting this attention now by reconnecting with you.
So, give them what they want!
It won’t cost you anything to be the shoulder to cry on that they’ve been looking for.
At the end of the day, your ex is probably going to appreciate the attention and care that you’re giving them.
10) Your ex is drunk
I know… I can’t believe this is a valid reason either!
Sometimes your ex might think it’s a good idea to get in touch with you when they’re drunk.
Maybe they have been thinking about you constantly, and have been missing you a lot more than they thought they would.
It’s possible your ex is thinking about how it would be nice to go back to what you had before.
Which would explain why they’re drunk dialing you.
So, should you entertain them?
It’s entirely up to you, as long as you don’t get your hopes up.
Because you can bet they won’t remember anything come morning.
11) Your ex wants to hook up
This also happens all too often!
There’s probably some sexual tension still lingering between you and your ex in the air.
It’s going to be hard for both of you to resist each other.
They might feel like they have nothing else to lose.
And maybe there’s a part of them that still wants you back in their life.
There’s nothing wrong with that!
If you’re into it, then by all means go for it.
I’m not going to judge you for that.
But, if you are feeling pressured into having sex with them… then walk away.
It’s your choice, and you know what’s best for you.
12) Your ex wants to check if you’re okay
It means that they care!
Maybe they’re worried that you’ve been having a hard time in your life, or they just want to check up on you to see how you’re doing.
If your ex doesn’t have any other concerns related to you, then they’re probably just doing it out of curiosity.
They might think that the last time you were in contact with them was when you were trying to get them back.
And they wanted to make sure everything was okay for you now.
Either way, it’s a good thing that they care about your well-being and want to make sure everything is okay for you now and in the future.
13) Your ex just can’t let you go
You thought your ex had already moved on, but they’re actually still holding on to you.
They’re still thinking about you and missing the time that you used to spend together.
And they just can’t let go of those memories.
Which is why they keep contacting you and trying to get back in touch for old times sake.
The thought of losing someone as special as you have made them grow to love and appreciate you more than ever.
They want what they had with you back in their life, and they can’t stand the thought of not having you.
Even if they did hurt you before, or if they’re dating someone new now, they still want to be with you.
14) Your ex thinks you’re ‘The One’
They’re 100% convinced that you’re the one for them.
The one that they fell in love with.
And even though you’ve already broken up years ago, they want to give it another try!
They’re willing to give up everything they have right now and move on with you.
They’ve had enough of you dating someone else, and they want a shot at finally getting together with you!
So, if you’re interested in starting something new with them, then go ahead.
But, just because they think you’re the one, it doesn’t mean they’re the right one for you.
How do you even know if someone is your soulmate?
One way to find out is by speaking to a gifted advisor.
I mentioned the spiritual advisors at Psychic Source earlier.
They’re my go-to whenever I have doubts about my relationship and need to understand what is going on.
I can always rely on them when I need to know about my romantic destiny, like finding out if a guy I like is suitable for me, and I really think you should try it out as well.
All in all
Whatever the reason is, it’s completely up to you whether or not you want to get back in touch with your ex.
There’s nothing wrong with being friends with your ex after all these years!
By reconnecting with them, you could feel a new wave of hope and happiness that you two once shared before the relationship ended.
If they’re truly interested in getting back together, then let them.
And if it’s not what you want, then walk away without feeling like you hurt the person that you cared about so much.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
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