16 things that happen when a man realizes he lost a good woman

We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. Read our affiliate disclosure.

She’s done.

After weeks, months, or even years she’s had enough and has dumped you.

There’s no ultimatum, no more arguing, nothing. She’s left and she’s not coming back.

Here’s the truth

You only realize what you’ve lost until it’s gone is a saying all too many men know. And, there are some really big learnings that go along with that.

This article takes a look at 16 things that happen after realizing you’ve lost a good woman.

Let’s dive in.

1) You begin to feel really, really bad.

“Oh man, I don’t know what I did wrong.”

You begin to feel like you made a big mistake.

Maybe you were too hard on her or maybe she just was not the one for you after all.

Men are very sensitive about their relationships and when they break up with a woman, it can be devastating for them because there is a lot of emotion involved in that decision.

This is where men go through a period of self-doubt and misery which causes them to stay depressed and not want to do anything fun because they think it will make them feel better about themselves (it doesn’t).

They begin to feel like they’ve lost their best friend, something they’ve never felt before, and almost can’t believe she would do this to them.

It’s a weird feeling for men. And, it doesn’t go away easily.

2) You begin to miss her a lot and you really don’t know why.

You just start missing her in your life and you don’t know why!

You start thinking about her even when you are with other people because she was so special to you that you want to remember what it was like when she was there in your life.

It feels like a part of yourself is missing, especially when she is not around.

The feeling of loneliness can set into the deepest parts of our hearts and minds, but this doesn’t mean we have lost hope for finding love again; sometimes all it takes is time away from relationships or letting go completely and moving on as well as trying new things.

You begin to feel like you want to call her, text her, and even go see her because you miss her so much. You just want to talk to her so bad because she was important to you and you don’t really know why.

3) Want advice specific to your situation?

While this article will shed light on the main things that happen when a man realizes he lost a good woman, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.

With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice tailored to your unique situation…

Relationship Hero is a popular site where highly trained relationship coaches help people work through complex relationship issues, like losing a good partner. Their popularity boils down to how skilled their coaches are. 

Why am I so confident that they can help you?

Well, I recently experienced a tough patch in my own relationship, and I reached out to them for help. From the moment I got in touch, I was given genuine, helpful advice, and was finally able to see my relationship issues with real clarity.

I was blown away by how kind and empathetic my coach was. 

Within minutes, you could be receiving life-changing advice on how to navigate and repair the issues you’re facing in your relationship with this woman.

Click here to get started.

4) You start feeling really bad about yourself and what you did wrong.

When a woman breaks up with a man, he starts feeling like he’s a loser or a failure in some way.

He starts feeling like he didn’t measure up and knows something was wrong with him that was keeping his relationship from going the way it should have gone.

He feels like she rejected him because of some mistake he made.

When this happens, men start to feel worthless and become depressed by their perceived lack of value as human beings which can lead to them engaging in self-destructive behaviors such as substance abuse or risky sexual behavior.

He starts feeling like a bad person and he really doesn’t know what to do with himself.

This is a very dangerous place for men because they begin to feel like they have a lot of work to do in order to get their lives back together and start feeling better about themselves.

He feels that he has been abandoned by his friends, family members, or lovers which makes him feel even worse than before.

The loneliness begins the spiral downward where it becomes harder for them not only to struggle but also to find some sort of peace from this pain.

5) You feel like you will never find love again.

This is the most dangerous thing for men because when they are in this stage, it’s very easy for them to start believing that there is no way they can ever find another woman that will make them happy again because they have been through too much heartbreak and pain.

They begin to think that all women are crazy and that they should just stay single for the rest of their lives. 

When a man goes into this state of mind he starts being more judgmental about other people’s relationships which leads him down an even darker path where he begins thinking less about others but himself as well.

It becomes impossible then not only to be able to connect with someone else emotionally but also physically which makes finding love extremely difficult if not nearly impossible at times.

When a woman breaks up with a man, it’s very easy for him to start believing that he will never find another woman to love him the way his ex loved him. 

He thinks that women have nothing to offer and that they are all crazy and crazy people who don’t deserve good things in life.

6) You begin to blame yourself for what happened in your relationship and you start feeling like your ex was right all along.

This is when they feel like they are being punished by God or whatever deity they believe in because something bad happened to them and then this woman decides she doesn’t want to be with them anymore.

They begin to feel like their ex was right all along and she just made the wrong decision. 

This often leads people who have been hurt by a breakup into depression, which can make it difficult for some of these individuals not only move on but also keep themselves alive.

The best way that someone struggling through this type of situation can heal their heartbreak is through self-care such as exercise, eating healthy foods, talking about feelings with friends or family members (or even strangers), spending time away from technology so that you’re able to focus your thoughts on what’s going on in real life rather than what has gone down online before moving forward.

When a woman breaks up with a man, he starts to feel like he doesn’t know what he did wrong. He starts to feel like his ex was right all along and that he had nothing to offer her or that there was something else about him that she didn’t like.

7) You begin to feel really isolated from your friends and family because you don’t want to talk about it with them.

When a woman breaks up with a man, it can be very difficult for him to speak about his feelings because they are so raw inside of him they are bleeding out of him. 

He doesn’t want anyone to know how he’s feeling because he doesn’t want to be judged or laughed at.

When a man is broken up with by a woman, he feels like no one understands him and that his friends and family think he is crazy for being so upset about this.

He doesn’t want to talk about it at all because it makes him feel like everyone thinks he is a fool for being so upset about this.

The man might not be able to find the words needed to express how much pain there really was in their relationship when they broke up as well as what caused such deep wounds on both parties involved in the breakup; therefore, instead of talking out loud or writing down his thoughts, emotions are bottled-up inside until something happens which triggers an emotional outburst

8) You feel like you are going insane and you start drinking too much alcohol.

When a man has been broken up with by his girlfriend, it can be difficult for him to feel like there is anything of value in his life anymore. 

He no longer has someone who he’s close with or cares about, so the world seems empty and meaningless. 

The reason that this breakup stings especially painfully is that you’ve tried reaching out before realizing “she” isn’t coming back- and maybe you two were never actually meant to be together.

You might start abusing alcohol to dull the pain because you feel like you’re losing your mind. This is a natural part of the process but be warned. 

Booze is a temporary fix, you’re going to have to face the facts sooner rather than later.

9) You begin to feel really down in the dumps and start having intrusive thoughts.

When a man is broken up with by a woman, he feels like he is worthless and that there is nothing of value in his life anymore because the woman has walked away from him. 

He feels like he has nothing to live for and no one to talk to. 

He feels like he is going crazy because he can’t believe that this woman is gone from his life. Also, intrusive thoughts like self-harm might cross your mind.

 It’s a sad reality and it sucks but it’s a necessary part of the healing process. 

Yes, you might have lost a great woman but that’s in the past now. All you can do is be grateful for the great times you shared together and look towards bettering yourself.

10) You hook up with lots of women.

You try to make yourself feel better by hooking up with other women and having sex with them, but none of the women you hook up with make you feel good inside. You don’t feel like yourself and you feel like you are losing your mind. 

All these random flings make you feel even worse inside and nothing seems to get better.

You compare her to everyone you meet and you start to feel like you are losing your mind because she’s the only one who makes you feel good. 

You want to be with her again, but she doesn’t want anything to do with you anymore.

11) Everyone you meet isn’t “her”.

You might have been broken up for quite some time but you find it hard to connect with other women as they just can’t seem to hold a candle to “her.” 

You feel like there is no one who understands your pain, and that’s why you’re on this dating site. It will be difficult at first because the personal section of these sites is usually filled with people looking for love too, but eventually, someone will come along who shares your interests.

12) You start to take stock of your life.

Things went south for a reason and it’s time that you look within to start figuring out how you’re going to become a better man. 

You can’t change the past, but your future is in your hands. 

To be successful at anything, whether it’s playing an instrument or becoming President of the United States, there are always lessons learned on the way.

You need to take the lessons, apply them to the new improved you and strive to become the best possible version of yourself.

13) You realize you’re partying the pain away.

A lot of men do this after they realize what they’ve lost. 

They start partying up a storm and thinking they’re going to get away with it.  They start neglecting their work, friends, and family and live for the weekend.

Although it’s a temporary fix, this is not a healthy nor constructive method to heal. 

Too much partying can lead you down a very dark path and can have serious consequences. So, even though you might want to party hard every night. Don’t.

Once you slow the party animal in you down, sadly, another said realization hits – you know exactly why you’re partying. 

Because you’re trying to fill the void and are trying to escape from the pain of losing a good woman.

14) You start improving.

Once you lose someone who thought the world of you, suddenly you begin seeing the light. 

All those things she used to nag you about, whether it be overworking, drinking too much, spending too much time playing Xbox suddenly start to make sense to you.

There was a reason why she nagged and it wasn’t simply to kill your vibe. 

You start realizing that these things are not as important as you once thought and you can see that too much of this behavior isn’t good for you.

So, you start making improvements. You stop your workaholic behavior, cut back on the booze, and start doing things that make you feel good.

You’re eating healthy, you’re sleeping better and you’re doing more things that bring you fulfillment.

As mentioned earlier, sometimes the lesson learned is what we needed.

It might be cold comfort to hear but even though you’ve lost her, you’ve managed to open your eyes and see where you’ve erred. 

This can only be a good thing for you.

These lessons can be carried into your next relationships so that you don’t end up making the same mistake again.

15) You realize you’ve wasted too much time and effort.

Once you realize what you’ve lost, it’s time to move on. 

You start realizing how much time you wasted trying to win her back, or how much time and energy she wasted doing the same with you. 

This can be a painful realization, but it’s an important one.

The truth is that relationships are not about winning or losing. 

It’s about being with someone who does make you happy. It’s about sharing the ups and downs of life together.

If she was a good person who made your life better then this isn’t something to feel bad about, but if she was a bad person who did nothing but drains your energy and open your eyes to the pain of her leaving, then you have to look at why you made this mistake.

16) You realize that was actually worth it.

Perhaps the biggest realization is one that you might not want to admit out loud but can’t help but accept.

You realize that she’s was actually worth it.

You realize that what you had with her was worth the emotional turmoil and wasted time and effort.

You realize that when she left, all those things she’d done to hurt you suddenly make sense. You see how much of a chump you were and how much of a victim you made you feel.

That’s why all those things bothered you and annoyed her so much. She was a good girl.


Relationships are messy, frustrating, and complicated. When we’re in them the only thing we can do is hope for the best.

It can be hard to see that you’ve made a mistake when it’s too late, but sometimes it’s better to see things for what they really are than to let yourself get sucked in all over again. 

More importantly, you haven’t yet met the one.

Look after yourself, learn from the pain, and be sure to hold onto a good lady when she comes around!

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

Click here to get started.

The above link will give you $50 off your first session - an exclusive offer for Love Connection readers.