Guys are complex creatures.
They have a way of confusing you with what they say that isn’t always what it actually means.
Be careful not to fall into this trap because even though he may say that he loves you, what he really means is that he wants to start a relationship with you and be exclusive.
If a guy says that he loves you but you’re not dating, here are some reasons why:
1) He’s afraid of commitment
Here’s the thing.
Guys are renowned for being serious commitment-phobes!
He might say that he loves you but then will act cold and distant, completely ignoring you!
This is because his feelings for you are completely overwhelming him and he’s scared. He doesn’t want to commit because he’s afraid that you will leave him or you won’t stick around for the long haul.
So, if he’s telling you that he loves you, even though you’re not exactly an item, he’s definitely thinking about wanting to date you but is unsure.
The best you can do is not force anything and just wait and see what happens.
2) He’s still not over his ex-girlfriend.
You’re not dating anyone and neither is he but, he tells you that he loves you.
Well, maybe he does love you but, maybe he’s just gotten out of a relationship with someone and he hasn’t had time to process his feelings and get over her.
He might feel torn between you two, he wants to be with you but is unsure or hasn’t gotten closure from his ex.
This is a difficult situation to find yourself in so don’t do anything that’s likely to scare him off. If you do want to date him, be patient.
Just don’t rush into anything or you’ll be headed for heartbreak valley.
3) He doesn’t know what love is
Yep, that’s right, this guy might not know what love is.
It’s not that he doesn’t love you, it’s more that he doesn’t understand what love is.
He might be feeling lots of emotions but can’t put a name to them.
It could be that he’s just looking for a fling or casual relationship and you’ve got the wrong idea about things.
So, if a guy tells you that he loves you, even though you’re not together, make an effort to spend time with him.
You’ll soon be able to decipher the difference as to whether he is in love with you, is in lust with you, or just likes you as a friend.
4) He wants to date other people at the same time as you
Some guys are serially non-monogamous.
They want their bread buttered on all sides and will say that they love you so that they can add you to their collection of girlfriends.
If you’re ok with being in an open relationship, that’s absolutely fine!
However, if you’re one girl, one guy type of person then nip this in the bud.
He’s not likely to commit to you solely, despite your hopes.
5) He wants to be with you
But why would he be so bold off the cuff and say, love?
Because he feels the same way and wants to be with you. He just doesn’t want to scare you off.
He feels that, if he tells you that he loves you then you’re more likely to take things further, i.e. commitment.
So, what do you do?
Do you tell him that he’s just going to have to say it again when he means it?
Or do you just go along with it?
A guy who loves you will not just say it for the sake of it.
He’ll mean it, he’ll show you and he’ll commit to you.
So, if you don’t want to date him or be in a relationship with him, you need to break it to him gently.
If you do want to date him then you’re in luck!
This guy is a keeper.
6) He wants to show his affection for you
All of our senses are heightened when we love someone.
We want to see them, touch them, feel them and be with them.
When a guy says that he loves you, he’s telling you that he doesn’t just want to see you or be with you or have sex with you.
He wants all of those things and more!
He wants to show his affection for you, in public and in private.
He’ll tell you how much he loves your gorgeous smile, your beautiful eyes, and that cute little mole on your cheek.
He’ll give you a kiss on the forehead when he sees you and will send you sweet texts throughout the day to let you know how much he misses being around you.
7) He wants the relationship to be serious and exclusive
Saying I love you to someone who you’re not dating is a big deal so, if he’s done it you need to figure out what it is that you want.
If you don’t want to be with him then you need to tell him that.
Tell him that you like him but that you’re not looking for anything serious at the moment.
If he’s really into you then he’ll understand and will be fine with taking things slow.
If you want to be with him then tell him how much you love being around him and how much fun you have together.
Tell him that you want to be with him and that you want the relationship to be serious and exclusive.
You’ll know that he’s the one if he’s happy to give you a big hug and tell you how much he loves being with you too.
He’ll tell you that he wants to be with you too, not just for now but forever!
8) He cares about you and isn’t sure if you feel the same way
If you’ve been friends for a while and he’s just told you that he loves you then there’s a good chance that he’s said it before and has been disappointed by your response.
He doesn’t want to get his hopes up again.
He’ll be aware of the fact that as soon as he says those three little words, his feelings are going to be on the line.
If you say them back then they’re going to be together forever, if not then it might be over.
9) He’s testing the waters
Similar to the point above, this guy is not sure about what’s going on in your head.
He’s just blurted it out and how you respond is going to set the tone for how things play out.
If you say it back then he is going to be ecstatic.
You’ll have a great time together and if you don’t have a whole lot of time to spend together then he’ll make sure that you do.
On the other hand, if you don’t say it back then he’s going to be really disappointed.
He’s going to wonder if he really has feelings for you or if it was just a one-sided thing.
He might not want to spend as much time with you anymore and will even think about giving up on the whole friendship thing altogether.
10) He doesn’t want to ruin what you have together
If this is the case then it’s going to be a very delicate situation.
The last thing that he wants is to ruin what you have together by making things weird between the two of you.
He loves being around you and doesn’t want to do anything that might jeopardize that.
Instead of declaring his love again, he’ll just keep things quiet and hope that everything works out in the end.
11) He likes being in love with someone who doesn’t return the feeling
This guy doesn’t want to be in love with you.
He just wants to be in love with someone who doesn’t return the feelings. He feels like it’s a win-win situation.
You’re not going to get hurt and he gets to have a girlfriend without having to deal with all of the responsibilities that come with one.
Nope, it’s not. Men love a good chase!
They love trying to go after something, or someone that they know they can’t have!
It’s part of male biology and he’ll go out of his way to get with you or die trying.
How to test a guy to see if he really loves you or not?
If you are not dating a guy and he says that he loves you but you’re not sure if he really does, then here are some tips for you to use to test him:
Does he always want to be with you?
If so, then this is a good sign because most guys don’t like to be with their girlfriends too much because they get bored of them.
If he’s always with you and wants to do things together, then this means that he is serious about the relationship and wants it to last forever.
Does he make sacrifices for you?
If the answer is yes, then this means that he loves you and wants the best for you even if it means that he has to make some sacrifices.
If he’s willing to do anything for you, then this means that he will stick with you through thick and thin.
Does he miss you when you are not around?
If the answer is yes, then this is good because it means that he thinks about you when you’re not around and wants to be with you as much as possible.
If a guy doesn’t like spending time with his girlfriend, then there is no way that a guy will miss her when she’s not around because it’s too much effort for him to think about her.
Does he always want to talk to you?
If the answer is yes, then this means that he wants to get as much time with you as possible.
If he’s always calling you or texting you, then this means that he wants to know what you’re up to and how your day is going.
Does he make sacrifices for your happiness?
If the answer is yes, then this means that he loves you and wants the best for you and will do whatever it takes to make sure that you’re happy.
If a guy makes sacrifices for his girlfriend’s happiness, then this means that he loves her a lot and will never leave her side.
Does he give you all of his attention?
If the answer is yes, then this means that he really loves you and wants to spend as much time with you as possible.
If a guy is willing to give all of his attention to his girlfriend or wife, then it means that he will never leave her side because he doesn’t want to miss out on anything in life.
Does he listen?
If the answer is yes, then this means that he loves you and wants to know what’s going on in your life.
It’s important to have a guy who listens because if you’re not getting what you want out of the relationship, then he won’t know and will be able to help you.
I hope this article has helped you understand how men really think!
If the points above have you nodding along in agreement, then the ball is in your court. If you feel like pursuing a relationship with him, there’s no better time to seize the day!
If not and you want to stay friends, let him know sooner rather than later.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.
The above link will give you $50 off your first session - an exclusive offer for Love Connection readers.